Mhh. I was Jesus in my first life?
Otherwise, Nijinsky, you are absolutely correct to point out that Christianity became way too strict (and also boring). Me, with extreme faith in God, I found solace in another religion since someone mentioned it under one of my other articles in the comments and became a Scientologist.
It literally saved my life.
What I really donβt like in Christianity is the attempt to eradicate the devil. But he was also a son of God and fell from grace. I met him several times and he is definitely, not boring. https://porcupineswisdom.org/2021/06/24/bad-hair-day/comment-page-1/#comments
I am launching my own charity to fight stigma in relation to βmental illnessβ and am looking for sponsors, collaborators, people with lived experience, and doctors with a good heart (you can be a psychiatrist)
Check it out: https://porcupineswisdom.org/
Hello,
just to let you know that I am reading all your comments, but because of lack of time, I can’t respond to each comment individually, unfortunately.
Lots of food for thought, lots of critical reflection, and lots of encouragement.
Thank you so much for reading me!
On the topic of Jesus, I wrote another post today on my blog and you might find it interesting:) http://www.porcupinewisdom.com
Hello Bill,
the book certainly refers to lots of music as a healing process. I am not a pianist, but the heroine of my book is. Here is a link where to get my book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09N2MRD3D
Sorry to hear about your struggles, Gina!
So far I havenβt met anyone who is really happy after having received any psychiatric intervention.
Just broken lives.
Thank you Bill. I wonder what you made of my book!
It tells a story of a world-famous Russian pianist, diagnosed with βschizophreniaβ, looking for her twin sister in a world affected by Covid. It takes place in London and Sheffield and draws a picture of how oneβs life can be changed if one meets a very kind doctor.
Aripiprazole can be used (I feel good on 10 ml) only together with pracyclidine (itβs other name is Artane, 5 ml). Artane relaxes muscles and has an amazing effect on someone in a depressive mood. I really found cocktail for my schizophrenia/ bipolar disorder. I feel good and happy on it, while still enjoying my schizophrenia. I would benefit though from a good Scientologist and audit session, as well as Scientologyβs rehabilitation retreat.
The only other thing I am missing is a good sleeping pill, capable of knocking me out to have undisturbed quiet, nice sleep. Once I find what it is as medication, I will let you know!
Aripiprazole 10 mg a day, combined with pracyclydine (has other names and not sure how to spell it) heals the effects of trauma of bipolar disorder and restores schizophrenia into a manageable beautiful state of mind.
I think the main problem is also in doses they use.
Low dose of abilify is actually not bad and can help the patient to stay away from ‘problems’ for a long time. But it’s always about taking it back under your own control, and listening to your own body.
How they prescribe it (the psychiatrists) and usually ‘what’ makes the patients not being able to function normally in their daily lives.
All of them (anti-psychotics) are bad. None of them is advised. Abilify is also very bad.
The most important is to keep balance and sleep, and for that some meds are probably recommended but not the anti-psychotics.
@bradford.
Dear Bradford.
Thank you for leaving such a wonderful comment under my article. I will send you a card: we should do it more often: write real things and use real post.
As to Scientology, of course I discovered by now their mission and that they do amazing work via the Commission for Human Rights, if anything it helped me on my journey to discover that someone more organised fights such a battle.
I also, obviously bought the Dianetics but got stuck in it, as it needs a calm environment to enjoy reading it, while I am not yet there. I am there meeting a βniceβ psychiatrist or making a nice psychiatrist out of any psychiatrist is what keeps me staying in the fight, on my side of the equation where I am determined to have a nice life.
Of course, I am not crazy. I am unusual. I can be weird and I went through initiation into shamanism. I am a very powerful shaman if I am still here and living my life rather well, with full intention to continue so.
Scientology from what I read, seems like a party of nice people or at least this made me see them that way, after glancing at how many rumours are there. Taylor Swift once was a subject of rumours and so was Britney Spears, my favourite singers who fought for their reputation and made me love them more. Usually behind the modern βrumoursβ, something wonderful is a target of our βnormalβ, mediocre thinking, an unfortunate development of our humankind.
@l_e_cox the best people I met are all diagnosed with a ‘psychiatric disorder’ because they tend to be genuine people who are not ‘fit” for our greedy, calculating society.
Yes, I also noticed that some people envy the absence of fakeness, because they don’t know how to do it sincerely – to live one’s life in truth, kindness and embracing of the beautiful things and sad things with one’s all might. The trend of today is to teach us how to be superficial from a young age.
It is the best (while very sad) read I have had for a long time. Thank you for writing it. Yes, the medicalisation of the ordinary has truly arrived, yes, being a parent today is running next to constant anxiety of being judged, yes, everything can be diagnosed, and yes, we forgot how to talk to people and instead send them to seek βprofessionalβ help. Very, very depressing (ironically so) trend. If itβs the case, then no one will be able to be truly happy beyond the superficiality of it all, where mental health narrative hides behind the start of diagnosing our children more and more, teaching them that one can’t experience any strong emotions any longer.
@30-watt lightbulb.
I ask the same question every day: where are the saint and prophets? Who wrote the Bible? Can we still believe in it when we donβt believe in anything else any longer, besides what is presented to us as extremely boring normality?
well-researched, well-written article.
Indeed, we need other approaches to ‘mental health’, and we need a context, and as Yva rightly put it: it is unimaginable that with the current resources, we still have so much inequality, poverty, etc, where the human race is in perpetual distress.
@Sam, can you elaborate? What do you mean by BS? I think that in some cases, damage can still be reversed, but I am not a medical doctor to provide a definite answer. But I do believe in miracles, yes.
@Alex
“One can recover from THEIR illness, and one can lead a happy and meaningful life. The main thing is to believe, to believe that you do deserve a good life, and that you can be happy.”
Indeed, I am fighting for that with my life.
@SomeoneElse
Terrible when they dare to tell you that it might be genetic, agree?
You know, what really helped me? Listening to Marisa Peer on Mind Valley, she says ‘there is no such thing’.
No, there is no genetic psychiatric disorder, apart from the mind of not very kind psychiatrist. And it is indeed genetic now, their power, and power they hold over us.
Terrible.
@Sam, yes, I do agree, it does make sense to oppose the psychiatry. Don’t forget though that the Patient is usually very vulnerable, if anything, I try to give tips about ‘how to survive’ the psychiatric nightmare. I do deal with all this myself.
@boans,
you are spot on about the devil having a good taste in bars. I visited his residence in one of my lucid-dreaming and if you would like to know more, check my blog http://www.russianpatient.com for more information. My last post talks about the devil’s ball.
The new ‘normality’ is a new ideology where no ‘daring’ thoughts or behaviour are allowed, and I do fear for all remaining souls trying to resist the doctrine. If it’s not the psychiatry, then it is stigma, but they go hand in hand, of course, marching in unison.
@boans,
the power of psychiatry is embedded in the fight between good and evil, and the psychiatry operates from a high vintage point, denying people the possibility to believe in anything besides ‘normality’.
What is happening around us, is much more dangerous and frightening than we even want to admit.
@pkolpin, yes, I do think there is a spirit world, hidden to us by the society advancing ‘normality’ as a status quo. It is hard to believe in one’s own convictions in a place that bans everything that is different.
Hello Sam,
actually most readers here do look for other perspectives and views!
So, please, don’t feel as we aren’t listening, we are.
Lots of us, survivors, are so broken by the system, that it sounds like invalidating, while, for many, it is actually the only space to express themselves, and validate their experiences, and it sometimes gets heated etc, but usually the motifs behind are good. With the exception when someone wants you to believe in ‘mental illness’ and embrace it as a valid choice. Equally those, in their journey, who do survive solely in the mental health system, also shouldn’t be chastised. We are all humans, and we all decide how to live, and sometimes, the ideology of psychiatry is so strong, that many don’t see alternatives outside it. I was there as well, briefly, but I was.
i also personally don’t like the chastising of those who do work in the system as peer support workers, or in any capacity out of the heart, and trying to help those who need help the most, coming from compassionate and kind heart.
As it stands at the moment, the revolution in mental health system, its radical change can only come from within and from outside together, including medical profession, psychologists, survivors, and peer workers. For instance, the stance of the Ministry of Health in Belgium in rejecting the system of diagnoses, is a step in this direction, in some countries, in some places.
The rest is just lost in academic arguments, in debate, while this is too important to just talk about when real people struggle because of what the psychiatry does to them.
my comment on brutality was referred to people who commit horrendous crime.
If you feel you are helped and you manage to live your life well, that’s what you should be doing. And I respect it, and genuinely wish you all the best, and your family too.
But some of us (me including), don’t find the current mental health narrative helpful, and manage to live well their lives outside the main biomedical paradigm, and this choice should be respected and honoured too.
Take care of yourself.
Still, there is a huge difference between ‘mental illness’ which is used as an umbrella term for all cases of human malaise, distress, unusual experience, or just a natural reaction to life events, and the expression ‘suffer from a sick mind’. Bit it might get medicalized too. It is actually getting there already, with the hashtag ‘sick not weak’, makes me shatter every time I see it.
But the acts of brutality are that they are. There is no justification for them, none.
You get used to this poison eventually. The body readjusts, provided you are on a relatively low dosage (you can’t indeed function on a high dose).
It also stops working eventually, and leads to drug-induced ‘psychosis’. Psychiatrists don’t recognise it, of course, they just switch you to something else or dramatically increase the dose. It is almost funny, but you can also die from the experience, like happened to me.
It is probably the most addictive of the range of the new anti-psychotics.
I take it, at 50 ml a night. I can’t even start thinking about tapering it off, due to my life responsibilities (raising a child, taking care of the cat, loving my work, etc). I would try, if the psychiatric hospital was a safe place to be to check in for a while if you feel you are distressed.
But it isn’t. And the long-term consequences of the anti-psychotics are a time bomb. They ruin you, they make you addictive, etc.
This stuff can be used only for a very short while in case of real emergencies, but currently? It is a harmful drug.
Yes, I understand why many people find also the term ‘madness’ very offensive, because of its very negative denotation nowadays.
I find the term interesting as a researcher (its evolution, its interpretation, etc), and also as a linguist (different terms in different languages, which appear not as offensive, with different terms for different ‘madness’), and because I am Russian. We have the concept of ‘holy fool’, which personally I found very helpful, and therefore, I am interested in the trajectory of how we look at ‘madness’, etc, also in different cultures, and how it is looked upon as unusual, and sometimes also divine experience.
This runs in parallel with my own experience of psychiatry and lived experience, which is slightly different but also is now my topic of interest. I am an academic, a writer, and now I also see myself as an activist, and as a survivor but it’s all a process, and sometimes a long one. The amount of knowledge I learned from this site though, and how it helped me in my personal journey, is really very valuable.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience David,
there is quite powerful message here: yes people can recover from what they call ‘psychosis’, even if it may return, and then you recover again, and can lead a productive and happy life.
I don’t find though that the current mental health system supports the person to recover, it often makes it worse, and unfortunately, at the current moment it totally falls on the individual, where the knowledge is the key to be able to advocate for oneself. Most people lack this knowledge and have no voice or choice about their ‘recovery’.
Hello George,
yes, the sentiment was probably good to start with, but then it went out or proportion, with some of these ‘advocates’ promoting drugs they take.
As if being ”mentally ill’ is something glamorous. Without looking at the term itself anymore, which is a big problem.
It is not ‘glamorous’, and when you promote it as ‘sickness’, it becomes incomprehensible.
Terrible and really frustrating.
It comes as well from the charities which are funded by the government to advance their ‘mental illness is like any other illness’, to deal with all malaise with the help of drugs, and forget about the individual and individual approach.
ah, where did you find such ‘medical’ definition to describe ‘psychosis’? This interpretation (true and valid) comes from looking at it as manifestations of the spiritual world.
The common definition of it, as provided by the psychiatry is: ‘a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.’
The most important thing is that you feel that you are getting the support that you need. I totally agree that not all psychiatrists are bad, some of them are quite nice people. Some of them even disagree with the psychiatry after discovering that it can harm people, but are unable to speak out or leave, as it means the immediate loss of the job.
And one single psychiatrist, one single stay in the hospital can ruin one’s life, and it is putting people’s lives at stake, coming from a field which often doesn’t understand what it is doing, and sometimes does, when it is in cooperation with big pharma, and people’s lives don’t matter anymore but profit and one’s ‘career’ advance do.
But you do need to think of yourself, and do what you find helpful, to enjoy your life.
Bippyone,
I am based in the UK too.
Yes, you are right, everything changed in the past couple of years or so. That’s because of the government and their slogan ‘mental illness is like any other illness’. It is terrifying where it is going. It is going into privitization and big pharma (what do you think will happen after Brexit?).
You are right that here, most people in MH services really are there because they think they do something good. But they have no clue what they are doing. But yes, they are mostly nice people, they just don’t know what they are doing.
I escaped all that in the past in the UK, the ordeal of it because of nice, pleasant experience, where after my terrifying ordeal in Amsterdam, I just checked in into the hospital (in the UK) because I was again afraid that I was becoming ‘ill’, had a nice pleasant stay, nice chat with the ‘psychiatrist (she had to find out though ‘quietipine’/ seroquel in her book when I mentioned it for my sleep, agreed on my dose, laughed with me about my ‘voices’ and was in fact slightly ‘crazy herself), pleasant escapes to the nearest pub from the premises, great walks, baths, etc.
And then they built a wall, it is all secure. The psychiatrists now have no clue, no understanding of the individual. They see ‘bipolar’ in the notes, and argue for lithium because you are supposed to have mood swings (which I don’t), nurses are no longer nice because they have to spend their time on writing notes on computer instead of taking the patient on a walk (which they want, but can’t), there is no choice but to be drugged to be released, you are degraded by some staff members (employed via private agencies, not the NHS ones, which are all nice and compassionate people), and I finally saw, two years ago, what it is (the psychiatry), and what people here were talking about.
It almost ruined my life, my last psychiatric experience.
Never again. I keep seroquel precisely for this reason. If I feel I am vulnerable, I will sort myself out.
But yes, you are vulnerable, because you can access ‘that other reality’, and you are always vulnerable when you are fully there.
Hello Bippyone,
I just saw now your comment on ‘schizophrenia’.
The wording is precisely what it is, and it is what it is called here in the West.
It is labelled as an ‘illness’. And that’s why there is stigma. It won’t go anywhere while it’s called ‘mental illness’. Trump just proved it.
It is not an illness.
It is the experience of being able to access the other reality, sometimes it can be terrifying, sometimes not.
I was labelled with this first, but they removed it and put ‘bipolar’, as I do too well for their diagnosis of ‘schizophrenia’, while it is exactly what i have (according to their labels), and it is not an illness.
Here, they ruin it. They ruin it by words (if someone from authority, a ‘doctor’ says you are ill, it is very, very difficult to look at it differently), and then they force very damaging ‘medication’ on you, which actually ruins the whole experience and does make you ill. it doesn’t remove the other reality though, and thus, you start thinking that, that’s it, it’s chronic.
Psychiatrists have no clue what it is, and they don’t want to admit it, because they don’t want to loose their power of regulating the society of undesired, challenging, clever ‘elements’. They want everyone the same, complacent.
In other countries, they look at it as shamanic call, or spiritual awakening and work with you on it.
But I know now, I am not a shaman. I am a holy fool, something I found in Russian culture, and which immediately shed a light for me on my experience. I see churches in my dreams, I talk with angels.
Both experiences are valid and should be honored (shamanism or another dimension). I work with both.
Once they ruined you, yes, you are more vulnerable to stress. You do need to be extra-careful. Sleep patterns, regulating stress levels, etc, healthy food, walk in nature, etc, very important.
Take good care of yourself.
Hello Oldhead,
yes, we had this conversation before about the term ‘psychosis’. Yes, it is extremely offensive.
I use it for a very specific reason, as I do want to study it as an academic, and there is no other way, but to use the term, I do write a book about it (not academic work), and it is the term so much used now, that I simply want to challenge its core. I blog about it too.
What is it??? What? psychiatrists use it as if it conveys something, as if they understand anything, annihilating the other reality. But the other reality is there, and I want to challenge it. The whole look at it.
So, again, I am sorry if some of you are offended by it, yet again, really sorry. I have a reason for it.
Oldhead, if you go to my site http://www.russianpatient.com, click contact and send me an email if you don’t have my original email.
your husband had withdrawal reaction not ‘manic episode’.
These drugs are addictive, and to stop them, you need to reduce them very gradually, very carefully.
I agree with you about giving something when something happens, not to give it all the time. Because then you believe it is chronic and believe in ‘illness’, then you actually become ‘ill’. It acts as a curse. The only way out is to undo it, really. Stop believing in it. And if you become unwell, well, it is just temporary and will pass.
in my case I know now for sure: they should never ever drug me when I ended up ‘in their care’. I would be able to process it, and come out happy and enlightened.
I did eventually, but with the delay of 15 years, and only when I left the mental health narrative for good.
people get unwell sometimes, and it is true. Now, whether it is a ‘condition’, it is a topic of debate.
The theory of ‘chemical imbalance’ has no scientific argument.
I agree with you that in exceptional cases, ‘medication’ can help, but it is all appropriated by the psychiatry, and it is misused very often.
For instance, some examples: 1. distressed people who exhibit what they call ‘psychotic symptoms’ (in reality, no one knows what is going on, and each ‘psychosis’ is totally different for everyone. I am sorry I use this term. I use it because my experience was called ‘psychosis’, while it was a spiritual liberation and still is. I was prescribed killing dosage of risperidone and almost died, because I couldn’t see the aim of life after the hospital, where the most beautiful thing I ever experienced was called an ‘illness’.
It took me years to process and come to the understanding that it isn’t an ‘illness’, and psychiatry almost ruined me. Well, almost, I am addicted to small dosages of seroquel now, and terrified to try to reduce (even if I take only 50 ml a night) while I am raising my son, because the psychiatric experiment brought me insomnia.
The dosages they inflict in the hospital start from 300 ml – it is a nightmare, and sedates the patient to the total absence of any desire to enjoy life any further.
The anti-depressants, their ‘miracle’ cases lead often to inability to stop them and to massive problems with withdraw, when even deeper depression follows. For privacy issues I can’t provide a name, but a close person to me, a former GP (!!!) can’t stop them now, had to leave his job, and I do fear for his future where anti-depressants don’t work anymore, make him unable to enjoy his life, but where he can’t stop them either. It is hard to watch.
So, yes, medication works, just take it away from the psychiatrists. Because under their ‘care’, it isn’t medication, it is psychiatric, harmful drugs.
Sanctuary is often necessary, but sanctuary doesn’t exist in a psychiatric hospital. As it stands now, it is a huge laboratory of human experiment, where patients are degraded, forced medication they don’t want, and released back, with inability to function as before. I don’t know a single patient who is happy after the ordeal in a psychiatric hospital, and till now, I met many, really many.
Thank you for sharing the story Eric,
terrifying as usual, to hear about the psychiatric ordeal.
May I ask you more about your voices? As you, I took it in my own hands (I don’t hear them all the time, but I definitely see another reality), and decided that it’s all consistent and makes more sense than the age of reasoning. I like ‘my voices’, it is an integral part of who I am.
I am curious, but it’s a very personal question.
‘Mad Studies’ do leave the room for this, I think, but I am right in the beginning of academic research in it.
My writings though (and my book I am finishing to write) are different, hopefully, offer different perspective on things.
Many here know my journey, and helped me a lot. I learned so much thanks to this site.
I am a survivor like many others here, so the journey is never really totally happy, especially when one decides to speak out outside of the ‘mental health narrative’. It always attracts anger.
But it also attracts the kindred spirits and it’s the main thing, especially when we can help each other.
you wrote a beautiful poem.
Everything is offensive for survivors, unless there is some message of hope.
Otherwise, it is often inflicted from the position of arrogance, and we had enough of it.
Distress, spiritual seeking, enlightenment, feeling lost, hopeless, whatever you feel comfortable on your specific journey at any moment of time.
And there are those who accept some ‘illness’, I was there too, and it is a process, sometimes a long one.
I don’t anymore, but I respect those who do, because it is an impossible task often, especially when one is ruined by their ‘drugs’. Some also find it helpful, and this should be respected too.
yes, well, at the end I had to retort to this awful slang to pass the message.
Evil -yes. But evil can enter only when one is vulnerable to it. Many psychiatric drugs are to blame as well, because they alter the mind, or make the person feel hopeless.
It is a matter of language indeed.
Hello ‘Slaying the Dragon of Psychiatry’.
I speak Russian (native), English, French and Dutch. I lived in Russia, Belgium, The Netherlands, again in Belgium, and then the UK. But you can find more about me on http://www.russianpatient.com, where I write about my own ‘madness’ (apologies if anyone finds the term offensive).
Szasz was the first to debuke the construction of ‘mental illness’ and ‘mental diagnoses’, and therefore, his book (and articles) are extremely valuable.
But so were Foucault and Laing, extremely valuable.
More recent works try to bring the debate back (in ‘Mad Studies’), but it’s all very challenging due to the prominence of biomedical discourse, and thus, sometimes even impossible. One of the recent examples of great writings are ‘Madness Contested’, and ‘Mad Matters’ (edited by Brenda Lefrancois), but also works by Bonnie Burstow, Peter Beresford, and some others.
Hello May-May,
I meant by ‘speaking the truth’ in its general meaning. I actually would advise against speaking ‘the truth’ while dealing with the psychiatrists, who are seeing things only through bio-medical lenses. If anything, it can be detrimental.
I meant, leaving the life truthfully. Recognising that you have your unique path, which can be different from other people’s paths, but also beautiful and unique. Trusting in the path ahead of you, not feeling down because of someone else trying to make you feel that way.
And well, you are among very few who talks about your experience openly, which is a very, very brave act. You are already speaking the truth.
Hello May-May,
very interesting story and life experience, I have been thinking about it since yesterday when I saw it.
There is a concept, very unique to Russian culture, of ‘holy fool’, it was a ‘foolishness’ for Christ, with origins and justification found in the Bible. These ‘fools’ would walk around and talk the truth, acting often weirdly. Many of them were later recognised as saints.
It is very sad that today, these experiences are indeed called as ‘psychosis’, relegated firmly into the domain of ‘mental illness’. I totally understand why you use this term, it is the current discourse, which is hard to avoid, and gives it a ‘meaning’, even if some people are offended by the term.
I think that without the intervention of the ‘doctors’ you would eventually find yourself in your ‘psychosis’ and connect even more with God, but it isn’t possible in the current age, and thus, you can only do what you are already doing.
i have a very, very similar experience.
Good luck to you and thank you for sharing your story. Read about the ‘holy fool’ in Russian Christianity, it might help you to understand more.
@disinquitor
The reason I tried to avoid getting into ‘debate’ was precisely to avoid what you wrote in your last comment. Trying to create discussions and uplifting feelings is NOT a selfish reason.
It is extremely unpleasant when people try to snick at you personally, while you share a peace of you with the world
@oldhead
you are such a marvelous and engaging person, thank you so much for your kind words!
I will write more, and hopefully, there will be more discussions!
no, I don’t worry not to be understood, my points I try to make them clear in my articles, though my view on ‘madness’, ‘parallel reality’, etc, does change with time.
I don’t want to offend anyone in the comments, as I realised it is a very sensitive topic for many, and using such terms as ‘psychosis, ‘bipolar’, etc, causes distress for some.
Comments is where discussion takes place, and where ‘feelings’ etc, emerge, and my main purpose with writing is to share my inner world, uplift feelings, provoke an interesting discussion.
Writing for me is to create something positive, it is a sharing also a piece of myself, and exchanging energy with others.
In the most positive way.
I try, at least.
yes, ‘drugs’ or whatever they prescribe. I tread each word carefully within the comments, but still get it wrong:)
Mhh, i would prefer to avoid the discussion of ‘psychotic’ symptoms, it is land-mine, for which I don’t have enough of energy at this moment, as I know I will say something wrong, lol.
There is no real understanding of what is ‘psychosis’ to start with.
They don’t know what it is.
The person ‘presents’ some ‘symptoms’. They are defined as something that the ‘observer’ can’t see. Therefore, it is delegated to domain of ‘loss of touch with reality’.
My position comes and remains: there is a parallel reality. It is there, it is real. It is magic, it isn’t ‘hallucinations’ or ‘hearing rubbish’. It is a parallel universe.
Some people get more frightened of it than others, or have a worse ‘trip’, but it is a unique experience, and changes will come once here, in the west, we acknowledge that.
Like they do in other cultures, such as with shamanic experiences.
Just to specify my point:
I use the terms ‘psychosis’ and ‘bipolar’ so that people can understand. Otherwise, I absolutely, don’t agree with these terms as definitions of anything!
I once came to a group of ‘bipolar’ support, full of ‘bipolar’ people, to realise that I had absolutely different and unique experience from any of other people in the group. And ironically, they also had totally, unique, unrelated experiences!
Actually, a classic ‘bipolar’ person rarely has ‘psychotic’ symptoms. They have a surge of creativity, which is labelled as ‘period of mania’. Please, forgive me for using the terms, ‘bipolar’ etc, I have no other vocabulary to describe my visit to ‘bipolar’ group, as it was defined as such.
I had vivid, often very beautiful ‘psychoses’ (journeys into parallel world), but as the psychiatrist told me once: they are obliged to give a diagnosis if you come into the attention of psychiatry more than once.
As to ‘schizophrenia’, yes, i strongly believe that medication is to blame for deterioration in the general health, stigma and also self-labelling, as well, as misunderstanding of the society of different experiences.
Yes, i am in sociology/philosophy field.
I just want to make my position clear.
From an ‘academic’ point of view, one needs to use some kind of terms, otherwise, there is no debate at all, no point of and for discussion.
‘Mad studies’ is the only field in academia which is conducted by ‘survivors’, ‘service-users’, or those who prefer to keep their diagnoses for one reason or another. As I see, it is the only field which can make an interesting contribution in the ‘scientific’ debate.
From personal perspective, I think that everyone has different experience, view and approach. We are all completely different, with totally unique, unrelated experiences. I can understand all of your arguments, but as someone who writes about it, I need to speak from some kind of position, and it is ‘mad studies’.
Otherwise, I write about my ‘psychoses’ (and I intend to keep the term for the time being, as I am not writing about or inventing a new terminology), and it will be mostly a comedy. It is on http://www.russianpatient.com and it will be in English, even if I have some posts in Russian in the beginning.
In academia without any ‘theory’ or ‘terms’ one can’t go anywhere.
As to psychiatry, it is an institution, which has an over-increasing power, and ‘critical’ psychiatry is one domain which can change things for the ‘sufferers’ in the foreseeable future, in practical terms, for the better. I don’t see any coordinated effort anywhere else, apart from ‘debates’. Mad in America is really a site which actually brought coordinated debate into the public, and it is marvelous to see.
Psychology is of course, a valid academic field, with many interesting and useful contributions. Personally, I am fascinated by the subject.
Just to let you know that I am reading the debate with great interest and am learning a lot.
I plan to write something about movies, so any thoughts are welcome, and also any observations on more modern art.
yes, the story of St Frances of Assisi is an interesting one.
I will include it in some other writings.
Psychiatry creates lots of things, and especially the narrative of ‘chronic’ mental illness, which can convince a person that he or she is ill.
It is bad.
As to ‘schizophrenia’, I read recently an article in Russian, and their view (the psychiatrists there) is that this ‘illness’ always leads to loss of brain functioning.
I felt really bad after reading it.
There are indeed two recent published articles which argue that it is the use of ‘neuroleptics’ (anti-psychotics) which lead to long-term damage.
I don’t know what to say Lametamor,
I heard terrible things about the psychiatry in Russia. And terrible things about what they do to people in hospitals, and how the society as a whole looks at it.
But then again, my friend from the Netherlands writes to me from a psychiatric hospital there, where he is ‘treated’ by forced injections, telling me that he wants to end his life, that there is no hope left, that he is finished.
I could have ended up like that too, if i resisted them in the hospital. I almost did last time, until self-preservation instinct told me to ‘remain’ quiet while sectioned, since one has no rights if sectioned.
I recovered, and I recovered from their diagnoses. I won’t go back to any psychiatric hospital ever again.
Hello Streetphotobeing,
I don’t remember the name of the tea, but it did treat my gastritis,
yes, I developed insomnia, and I was hopelessly in love and couldn’t process the disaster of September 11 for two years, it was a huge psychological trauma for me, especially with everything which followed (Iraq especially). Childhood trauma as well.
But despite all this, my visions were real:)
I made a video about it today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHx6tn7c9xs&t=33s
and more on my blog lately http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.co.uk
JanCarol,
I agree with everything you say.
‘Witchcraft’ as ‘bad witchcraft’, probably not a right word, maybe to call it ‘mass hypnosis’ is a right word. I apologise if the word’ witchcraft’ caused offense and I need to re-frame it, you are right.
I don’t recommend anti-psychotics! Anti-psychotics are created by the psychiatry! I recommend a ‘potion’ and only for those who struggle to claim their voices and visions in peace!
I do consider myself a witch too, but good witch, white witch.
I am developing the blog so it is in the stage of ‘unveiling’ and is for now, addressed to those, who sit at home under a huge amount of ‘anti-psychotics’ and struggle to exit the system.
I un-diagnosed myself long time ago (on the matter of ‘diagnoses’ and the absence of logic in it, will be in my next post) and embraced my ‘madness’ too. My choice for my ‘potion’, created by myself, is to be ‘grounded’ in my daily life, where I am a single mum, have to work, look after my son, and still enjoy my ‘madness’, etc.
I obviously plan to stop my ‘potion’ at some point, when I have firm stability and when I can’t risk to get back in the system for the sake of my son. I have to be grounded, well-thought, and lucid. But with my ‘potion’ I also enjoy meeting with angels, talking with fairies, etc, etc.
Something very bad happened to me last year, when under massive stress (provoked by terrible car accident), I felt i was in ‘psychosis’ and went to the hospital in search of a safe place, and where I was detained under Mental Health Act, and where the ‘doctor’ was experimenting with three types of drugs for two months on me (while seroquel had worked just fine for me, previously), and where I was ‘recovered’ a week upon my arrival to the hospital, but they wouldn’t release me, with shouting nurses, terrible noise and constant partonising. During two months of the ‘nightmare’ my mum had to look after my son who wanted his mum and needed me. It was such a nightmare that it opened my eyes finally at the evil of the psychiatry. Before, I was living outside the psychiatry.
LavenderSage,
1. yes, of course, people, have a right to talk to each other. I am extremely glad that my article provoked so many discussions and possibility to exchange opinions.
2. My exchange with Oldhead is interesting, but I don’t allow myself to be partonised, when I see it clearly. Including from you.
3. To come back to ‘I don’t think she’s gonna get it’, yes, I would like to know myself as what exactly I can’t get. I am a researcher and an academic, and am always interested to learn, exchange opinions and understand the logic behind each argument, including when it seems I don’t understand something. I also admit when I am wrong if I see absence of logic in my own opinion.
4. To make clearer my point: psychiatry in all its manifestations is ‘witchcraft’, since it isn’t based in science or medicine. Mental distress is real, mental illness is a myth. Psychiatrists make people ill. Medication is different from concoctions created by the psychiatrists. Biology and medicine are real sciences. Diagnoses damage people and are based in fiction of an evil mind. So, yes, i am curious what I don’t get.
Oldhead,
you have a right to your opinion, and i mostly agree with you. Psychiatry is not a dialogue, including ‘critical’ psychiatry, as it is still based in the narrative of ‘mental illness’. There is no such thing as ‘mental illness’, but mental distress is real, and many people struggle after they enter the system, and especially when they are reassured that they are ‘ill’, which damages them as individuals. Therefore, an alternative needs to be in place, which would abolish the narrative of ‘mental illness’, the main concept which gives psychiatry its legitimacy.
What is RR? I urge tou to read my post on my blog because the problem starts indeed with generalisations. If you were diagnosed as ‘psychotic’ more than once, you do need to exit the narrative of ‘diagnosis’ etc in a creative way, by outsmarting the psychiatry. Biology and chemistry are not psychiatry
Oldhead, medicine is something which is supposed to heal, psychiatry is not medicine and not a science. You have no arguments in your ‘arguments’ and I agree with previous conclusions that you act as ‘saboteur’. Or maybe you had no experience of ‘psychosis’ and therefore can’t understand what we are talking about indeed.
psychiatry is not a trap, it is witchcraft, and it is ‘holocaust’. You need first to remove the curse from those who are under their ‘spell’. It is those people who can then fight the psychiatry. Others can help once they understand what is really happening, and they can understand when they hear ‘the stories’ about ‘the curse’ from liberated people. I do try to address all this on my blog http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.co.uk, as well as on my video channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtlCAtS3PmLg3mX_1IVp-eA?view_as=subscriber
I only started, and it is not a promotional activity. It is an urgent need to stop the ‘human’ experiment of the psychiatry before it becomes too late. It is not a science, it is not medicine, it is an evil mind behind all this.
Psychiatry is an ideology actively penetrating the society through their discourse of ‘mental illness’. They do actively destroy ‘different’ individuals by proclaiming them as sick. The only way to claim back humanity is to challenge them by proposing a firm, holistic alternative. I am happily mad and I am on seroquel, by researching my Own medication and my own dose. And I can still own my visions, voices, life and intelligence. I exited the narrative of mental illness by believing in my own journey. Psychiatry doesn’t own drug companies, and there is medication which helps to navigate the journey until one is ready to drop it. Psychosis is a real thing, but it is Not an illness. I try to tell how you can exit the mental health system on my blog http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.co.uk I know that ‘psychosis’ can appear as an offensive term, but I use it because I researched it. They Don’t know what it is (the psychiatry). Le psychose est une jounee, la follie n’est pas une maladie, c’est un etat de difference. Π― Ρ ΠΏΡΠΈΡ ΠΈΠ°ΡΡΠΈΠ΅ΠΉ Π»ΠΈΡΠ½ΠΎ Π΄Π°Π²Π½ΠΎ Π·Π°ΠΊΠΎΠ½ΡΠΈΠ»Π° ΠΈ ΡΠΈΡ ΠΎ Π½Π°Π΄ Π½ΠΈΠΌΠΈ ΡΠΆΠ°Π»Π°, ΠΏΠΎΠΊΠ° Π½Π΅ Π΄ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΎ, ΡΡΠΎ Ρ ΠΎΠ΄Π½Π° ΡΠ°ΠΊ Π»Π΅Π³ΠΊΠΎ Π²ΡΠΆΠΈΠ²Π°Ρ ΡΠΎ ΡΠ²ΠΎΠ΅ΠΉ ‘Π±ΠΎΠ»Π΅Π·Π½ΡΡ’ ΠΈ ΡΡΠΎ Π΄ΡΡΠ³ΠΈΠ΅ Π»ΡΠ΄ΠΈ ΠΊΠΎΠ½ΠΊΡΠ΅ΡΠ½ΠΎ ΠΏΠΎΠΌΠΈΡΠ°ΡΡ. ΠΡΠΆΠΈΠ»Π° ΡΠΎ ΡΠΌΠ΅Ρ ΠΎΠΌ, Π½ΠΎ ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠ΅ ΠΈΠ·ΡΡΠΈΠ»Π° ΠΈ ΠΏΠΎΡΠ° Π΄Π΅ΠΉΡΡΠ²ΠΎΠ²Π°ΡΡ, ΡΡΠΎΠ±Ρ ΠΈΡΠΊΠΎΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΡΡ ΡΡΠΎ Π·Π»ΠΎ
JanCarol,
no, i know you didn’t call me ‘an idiot’ lol, but i do appear quite ‘off’ in the video:) I will make more!
Yes, one has to be very very careful as how to present oneself and talk with others, while undiagnosing oneself and navigating the system. Totally agree! I wrote a post about it today(in terms of navigating the system, but how to ‘appear’ then to the public, yes, very important, i will address it in my next post. ‘How to play normal’ to the rest of the world, something like that. My post of today is, if any interest, on: https://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.com/2018/11/second-step-in-your-journey-towards.html
I put the video back on public mode for the time being. JanCarol said I look like an idiot in it, and I agree:) I need to make more videos to deconstruct the ‘vision’ of ‘psychosis’. Yes, I am going straight for their definition of it, such as ‘loss of touch with reality, accompanied by hallucinations and hearing voices’. ”Hallucinations’ are visions and they are real, and voices are real as well. And it isn’t loss of touch with reality, but an altered state of consciousness. And it isn’t an illness. They tell you it’s an illness, which makes you ill. Once the person claims back the power of his visions and his gift of hearing voices, one reclaims the power of self-identity, and starts a journey of self-healing. At this moment, they make people ill. I probably explain it better in my post on my blog: http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-journey-to-recovery-from-severe.html
Oldhead,
one can generalize, because all these experiences (as different as they are), are called ‘an illness’ by ‘professionals’ who don’t understand them. Therefore, my usage of the terms ‘psychosis’ was motivated by deconctructing the assumption that it is a ‘desease’. It isn’t an illness, and it isn’t disease. The opposite is true, it is a healing journey.
Yes, I agree! That’s what the person experiences in altered state of consciousness! Having visions which can be accompanied by hearing voices, and they are real, they aren’t ‘hallucinations’. My particular aim (on my blog) is to deconstruct first their medical language. They ‘shame’ these experiences by calling them a ‘disease’ by attaching a specific label such as ‘psychosis’ or ‘schizophrenia’
Hi JanCarol,
thank you for the links, i will also look at your website.
Yes, i am at that stage when i finally realised that it isn’t an illness, and that all my visions were real. Yes, i did have the chance of having ‘beautiful’, ‘amazing’ ‘psychoses, and am reclaiming my own personal power that it was beautiful and that magic is real.
But I need to be careful in terms of how I address all this, since ‘psychosis’ can be a very traumatic experience. It is an experience, it isn’t an illness.
Steve,
yes, I try to argue that the whole process is not a disease but a reaction to something very traumatic in one’s life, and that it is actually a strong ‘healing’ process of the person, and that telling the person that his ‘visions’, ‘thoughts’ and ‘voices’ are not real, stops the healing process and turns it into something shameful, bad and into illness.
Hi,
thank you for the comments,
I have to rethink, since more people agree that ‘psychosis’ is too embedded as a very negative experience.
My particular aim is to help to understand what exactly happens in that state, such as ‘voices’ and ‘hallucinations’ (visions), and that they are real, not a sign of disease. That in fact even in its most frightening manifestation (psychosis), if the person is believed for what he says or hears, instead of ‘debunking’ it as total nonsense, then the person can work on what is happening in that parallel reality, and be helped better in the recovery journey.
But i have to think indeed how to communicate what I want to say in a better way.
that’s fine! Yes, i will continue using the term for what i want to do, i don’t see any other way if i want to reach people who experienced the phenomenon and know what I am talking about. This is how it is called, and adopting a different terminology which isn’t recognized will be talking into the void. Here, on this site, we know of different terminology which is still building up. Those in the hospitals with diagnoses are familiar with a different, very embedded in the daily life term. I want to address these people, by explaining that when they are told they experienced ‘psychosis’, it isn’t an illness, that nothing is wrong with them, and that it can be healed, transformed and even enjoyed. And I will change the term in due time. I might be wrong as how I decided to talk about it, by using ‘their’ terminology, but for now I trust my intuition. First of all, I am interested to help those who are stuck in the system and think that something is wrong with them after they had what they call ‘psychosis’ by explaining what it is really ‘psychosis’. A healing process from trauma, which can also be magical.
yes, i was there (not on anti-psychotic drugs) and I was doing very well. This was when I learned another language and moved two more countries. But it was in fear of what would happen if another psychosis arrives. Until i finally realised (after my last hospital) that you know what? I love the state of psychosis, especially when you can enjoy it while still being able to be a full member of the society. I can’t achieve this stage if not on anti-psychotics (I can’t go into psychosis then at all). I could do without coffee and alcohol (I don’t consume them too much, a cup of coffee in the morning, a glass of red at night), even if I did have it all while also not being on anti-psychotic. Now, I am actively learning how to enjoy my ‘psychosis’, still live well, and be fully here, in this society, for my son. I don’t know if a drug could be developed which would just heal the sleep and relax you, maybe it could, once they start looking at the right thing, and not at what they are looking now. I do take paracetamol for my headaches and so i actually do believe in medicine. I don’t believe in the institution of psychiatry, but i do believe in humanity and that some people do want to develop a drug which helps but doesn’t harm, that there are doctors who come in order to help, and that some people are interested in other people doing well.
Thank you for liking my video lol:)
yes, i see what you mean. I will from now on say why i use the term. My aim is to actually help people, and people who do experience psychosis can’t be helped until there is a firm alternative in place. It does include re-educating the psychiatrists who come into the system because of a genuine desire to ‘treat’ something. It will stay in the domain of health for a very foreseeable future. In one of my comments I argued that as long as they have ‘psychosis’ in their dsm, the will claim legitimacy, since people in ‘psychosis’ do experience real distress and do need a safe house when they are in that state, they are extremely vulnerable. Psychosis is a real thing, it is simply not an illness.
Having studied psychosis for 15 years as a person experiencing it, i see it as a way to help concrete people in concrete situations, such as people who end up in the system because they are brought there due to what they call ‘psychosis’.
For the rest, it needs to be addressed as precise, separate aims: highlight that they have now such a disorder as ‘antisocial personality disorder’ which makes fighting any stigma impossible, highlight what other disorders they have (labeling different personalities and normal childhood behaviour), etc. But they created the whole thing, starting from ‘psychosis’, and my personal interest is in helping people who always end up in the system (health, medicine, asylum, on the streets, psychiatric hospital), even if the whole psychiatry will be abolished. In psychosis, one does loose touch with reality, and therefore the person needs urgent help, just not the help what it is provided now. Not when it is looked upon as an illness, instead of a healing process of the person, or some emerging spiritual search. In my videos my particular aim is to help people who had concrete experience of psychosis but also address those who are ‘treating’ it. I am not refuting doctors who want to genuinely help, they just don’t understand the phenomenon, but neither does the society, and ‘psychotics’ will be the ones who will always suffer until there is a very good, holistic alternative, where they would emerge from ‘safe houses’ as happy, strong, fulfilled people knowing that they are simply special and unique.
Lavendersage, I do understand what you are saying! The term psychosis is also used in movies books and tv. I aim at explaining first of all that psychosis isn’t an illness, the symptoms they treat are behaviour related and that’s why Schizophrenia and bipolar get diagnosed and receive a label. My mission is to help people diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar by revoking that it’s an illness and by looking at ways how they can exit the system of labels, diagnosis and heavy medication which harms them as individuals by treating a normal human experience. My aim is to find a way as to how ‘psychotic’ people can enjoy who they are but not end up back on the streets or asylums. Schizophrenia and bipolar are diagnoses for people who are highly gifted, spiritual and fun. I want to start helping these people by removing the label that they are mentally ill once and for all. But it will be a long slow process and I might not achieve what I want, but I come from sincerely
Oldhead, I am not looking at a substance to get into that state! I am already there, naturally! I am looking at ways how to control it and have it at the same time. Psychosis is called a disease but it is not a disease. From the literature of how they describe it, it is clear they don’t understand it, and since the term is so embedded I want first to transform it into a positive thing and then start proposing new terminology.
Oldhead, I am not looking at drugs to treat it but am positive that a new drug can be developed which can make psychosis as a daily experience to be enjoyed not to be feared. I use the term psychosis because I look at it in a positive way and want to change perception of what it is exactly. Yes it is an altered state of consciousness which is a normal human experience that some people are blessed to enjoy! Calling it a hate speech is yet another act of diversion from what I am trying to say
Thank you so much for the links! Yes I am actively learning how to come off AP in a safe way, I was without them for years but my approach was avoiding psychosis and only recently I learned that psychosis is a positive experience for me and part of who I am, therefore I need to learn how to have the state of altered consciousness without loosing it totally and still enjoy my life. So I am looking at how it can be done! If they developed a medication which just provided deep profound sleep and relaxed you, I would try it
streetphotobeing,
it depends on what exactly you want to achieve while being out of the system. There are people who managed it and there are people who managed to get off anti-psychotics drugs and be well, but it requires strict routine, no alcohol, and no coffee, and it is hard to preserve then that beautiful state of ‘altered conciousness’.
I was for years without medication but it was in the framework of mind that I should avoid then psychoses. I did end up in psychosis, i was put on medication, and still managed to have psychosis while being on low dose of seroquel- my biggest mistake was that I contacted the hospital myself, and this was my own big learning lesson. I can stay on seroquel of 50 ml, because it helps me to sleep, while still enjoying ‘altered state of mind’. Getting off anti-psychotic totally is in the future, but i want to do it while still being able to enjoy my wine, coffee, etc (which I do now). I want it all: happy life with small pleasures and being able to enjoy my ‘altered state of consiousness’. I am actively learning how i can do it all without seroquel at 50 ml, and once I am ready (once I have a more stable situation from what I am in now – being a single mum with not enough teaching hours, in a foreign country), i will do it. I might have to wait until my son grows up, since he is my biggest and most important priority.
seroquel is not good, but on 50 ml it is manageable. And so, to get out of the hospital, i do accept medication (otherwise, they won’t let you out), but am always asking for seroquel (I tried them all), and then stop it or reduce it by myself.
This helped me to stay ‘functioning’ for 15 years now, with also years in between when I wasn’t on any medication. But taking into account my current stress in life, i personally have to be very careful for the sake of my son’s future.
JanCarol
yes, all experience is different, totally agree.
I’ve been in the system for 16 years now (not in the system per se, but around it, since I did have to learn indeed how to continue living well and enjoy my life while having experienced ‘psychosis’). Shamanism – we don’t know what it is (and you don’t train in shamanic methods), because there are no shamans around, apart from the fake ones who ask for lots of money. One doesn’t teach shamanism unless one is a real shaman, one becomes a shaman. And the only way to become a shaman is to experience ‘psychosis’ and learn how to control it, and then progress to the stage of helping other people. Shamanism – it is knowing how to live in the magic of the altered state of consciousness.
I did meet enough of ‘patients’ from lots of hospitals to start talking about the experiences in such a way that it will appeal to some, but not to everyone, as is the case with everything. I will continue making videos from now on about all this, as an academic, as a person who had many psychoses, as a person who manages to lead a happy and fulfilled life in between and actively learning how not to deny myself this altered state of consciousness, because this is simply who I am. Doctors make it painful, not the patients themselves. What is painful is what happens before the psychosis, you are right about this. The reason they call it ‘psychosis’ is precisely because as you highlight it can be a traumatic experience for the person.
To start making real changes, we do need real actions and people who are brave enough to start speaking out in public, and bring message of hope to others. It is a process. The terminology is so strongly embedded that by using their terminology to turn it upside down and make something positive out of it is the only way. I did think about it for very long time (terminology). But this is my opinion, others might disagree.
But you are right that it is an altered state of consciousness, and it is amazing in itself because it is magical. Hospitals make it painful, doctors make it painful. Psychosis is usually a reaction of the person to something very bad in his or her life, it is actually a healing process, which needs to be navigated etc.
but hey, no one understands psychosis (and i read enough of academic literature by now and met enough ‘doctors’), and someone has to start explaining what it is from the point of view of the ‘patient’.
My first aim is to explain to people who have been in psychosis that what they ‘hear’ and ‘see’ as visions and voices, are real things, situated in the parallel world. And this is there the most damage is done, when they tell you that it isn’t real. They deny you your self-identity, they deny you who you are.
yes, anti-psychotics damp your emotions as well as who you are as a person.
When you come off them, you can experience terrifying withdrawal symptoms (especially if you were on them for years). You need to make sure you sleep (really, really make sure of that, including asking for melotonin), take vitamins (B especially), and take warm baths to calm yourself down. Breathing exercise also helps.
Follow the link to Chaya blog and download her free book, it really helps to know that some people really care and been there as well: https://chayagrossberg.com/free-ebook/
Communism, yes, where i was growing up, psychiatry was thriving to a terrifying extent, together with suppression of any religious awakening. It was a badly managed apparatus, made of greedy people in need of control. How they brought it up via their revolution is a terrifying exploration of mind. Personally, I can’t claim anymore my aristocratic roots, my grand-parent was in Siberia in a political prison, and free thought was suppressed. But, as a child, I experienced good manifestations of socialism as an idea, such as free education, enjoying the school and friends, having food on the table, having access to free medical care. I also witnessed what it meant ‘bringing capitalism’ to Russia, and how it effectively destroyed humanity in some people.
As to psychosis, I recorded a video today about it. Psychosis is a real thing, and it is beautiful thing. I love it and am actively learning how to live in that state while still being able to be part of the society. The link to the video is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9QX-Z2_eS4
Mhh. I was Jesus in my first life?
Otherwise, Nijinsky, you are absolutely correct to point out that Christianity became way too strict (and also boring). Me, with extreme faith in God, I found solace in another religion since someone mentioned it under one of my other articles in the comments and became a Scientologist.
It literally saved my life.
What I really donβt like in Christianity is the attempt to eradicate the devil. But he was also a son of God and fell from grace. I met him several times and he is definitely, not boring.
https://porcupineswisdom.org/2021/06/24/bad-hair-day/comment-page-1/#comments
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Hi Louisa, could you, please, send me your essay when itβs finished?
Very interested!
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I am launching my own charity to fight stigma in relation to βmental illnessβ and am looking for sponsors, collaborators, people with lived experience, and doctors with a good heart (you can be a psychiatrist)
Check it out:
https://porcupineswisdom.org/
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Hello,
just to let you know that I am reading all your comments, but because of lack of time, I can’t respond to each comment individually, unfortunately.
Lots of food for thought, lots of critical reflection, and lots of encouragement.
Thank you so much for reading me!
On the topic of Jesus, I wrote another post today on my blog and you might find it interesting:)
http://www.porcupinewisdom.com
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Hello Bill,
the book certainly refers to lots of music as a healing process. I am not a pianist, but the heroine of my book is. Here is a link where to get my book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09N2MRD3D
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Sorry to hear about your struggles, Gina!
So far I havenβt met anyone who is really happy after having received any psychiatric intervention.
Just broken lives.
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Thank you Bill. I wonder what you made of my book!
It tells a story of a world-famous Russian pianist, diagnosed with βschizophreniaβ, looking for her twin sister in a world affected by Covid. It takes place in London and Sheffield and draws a picture of how oneβs life can be changed if one meets a very kind doctor.
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Aripiprazole can be used (I feel good on 10 ml) only together with pracyclidine (itβs other name is Artane, 5 ml). Artane relaxes muscles and has an amazing effect on someone in a depressive mood. I really found cocktail for my schizophrenia/ bipolar disorder. I feel good and happy on it, while still enjoying my schizophrenia. I would benefit though from a good Scientologist and audit session, as well as Scientologyβs rehabilitation retreat.
The only other thing I am missing is a good sleeping pill, capable of knocking me out to have undisturbed quiet, nice sleep. Once I find what it is as medication, I will let you know!
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Aripiprazole 10 mg a day, combined with pracyclydine (has other names and not sure how to spell it) heals the effects of trauma of bipolar disorder and restores schizophrenia into a manageable beautiful state of mind.
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I think the main problem is also in doses they use.
Low dose of abilify is actually not bad and can help the patient to stay away from ‘problems’ for a long time. But it’s always about taking it back under your own control, and listening to your own body.
How they prescribe it (the psychiatrists) and usually ‘what’ makes the patients not being able to function normally in their daily lives.
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All of them (anti-psychotics) are bad. None of them is advised. Abilify is also very bad.
The most important is to keep balance and sleep, and for that some meds are probably recommended but not the anti-psychotics.
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@bradford.
Dear Bradford.
Thank you for leaving such a wonderful comment under my article. I will send you a card: we should do it more often: write real things and use real post.
As to Scientology, of course I discovered by now their mission and that they do amazing work via the Commission for Human Rights, if anything it helped me on my journey to discover that someone more organised fights such a battle.
I also, obviously bought the Dianetics but got stuck in it, as it needs a calm environment to enjoy reading it, while I am not yet there. I am there meeting a βniceβ psychiatrist or making a nice psychiatrist out of any psychiatrist is what keeps me staying in the fight, on my side of the equation where I am determined to have a nice life.
Of course, I am not crazy. I am unusual. I can be weird and I went through initiation into shamanism. I am a very powerful shaman if I am still here and living my life rather well, with full intention to continue so.
Scientology from what I read, seems like a party of nice people or at least this made me see them that way, after glancing at how many rumours are there. Taylor Swift once was a subject of rumours and so was Britney Spears, my favourite singers who fought for their reputation and made me love them more. Usually behind the modern βrumoursβ, something wonderful is a target of our βnormalβ, mediocre thinking, an unfortunate development of our humankind.
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@l_e_cox the best people I met are all diagnosed with a ‘psychiatric disorder’ because they tend to be genuine people who are not ‘fit” for our greedy, calculating society.
Yes, I also noticed that some people envy the absence of fakeness, because they don’t know how to do it sincerely – to live one’s life in truth, kindness and embracing of the beautiful things and sad things with one’s all might. The trend of today is to teach us how to be superficial from a young age.
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@sam plover yes, ‘psychoses’ aren’t allowed nowadays – sad when they tend to be amazing. I am going into a cage for the time being.
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It is the best (while very sad) read I have had for a long time. Thank you for writing it. Yes, the medicalisation of the ordinary has truly arrived, yes, being a parent today is running next to constant anxiety of being judged, yes, everything can be diagnosed, and yes, we forgot how to talk to people and instead send them to seek βprofessionalβ help. Very, very depressing (ironically so) trend. If itβs the case, then no one will be able to be truly happy beyond the superficiality of it all, where mental health narrative hides behind the start of diagnosing our children more and more, teaching them that one can’t experience any strong emotions any longer.
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@beyond belief, thank you
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@30-watt lightbulb.
I ask the same question every day: where are the saint and prophets? Who wrote the Bible? Can we still believe in it when we donβt believe in anything else any longer, besides what is presented to us as extremely boring normality?
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@Kristen, yes, we are still being βchasedβ but in a different, more coercively subtle way.
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@littleturtle thank you so much for your comment…
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well-researched, well-written article.
Indeed, we need other approaches to ‘mental health’, and we need a context, and as Yva rightly put it: it is unimaginable that with the current resources, we still have so much inequality, poverty, etc, where the human race is in perpetual distress.
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@Diana, thank you for your comment. How did you learn soul embodiment? I might need some further work myself, to step into that radiant space, fully.
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@Alex,
thank you for your wonderful words,
may the light shine in our lives!
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@Sam, can you elaborate? What do you mean by BS? I think that in some cases, damage can still be reversed, but I am not a medical doctor to provide a definite answer. But I do believe in miracles, yes.
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@Alex
“One can recover from THEIR illness, and one can lead a happy and meaningful life. The main thing is to believe, to believe that you do deserve a good life, and that you can be happy.”
Indeed, I am fighting for that with my life.
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@SomeoneElse
Terrible when they dare to tell you that it might be genetic, agree?
You know, what really helped me? Listening to Marisa Peer on Mind Valley, she says ‘there is no such thing’.
No, there is no genetic psychiatric disorder, apart from the mind of not very kind psychiatrist. And it is indeed genetic now, their power, and power they hold over us.
Terrible.
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@bcharris Thank you! Yes, well-put
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@Sam, yes, I do agree, it does make sense to oppose the psychiatry. Don’t forget though that the Patient is usually very vulnerable, if anything, I try to give tips about ‘how to survive’ the psychiatric nightmare. I do deal with all this myself.
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thank you Sam,
I blog now on http://www.russianpatient.com
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@boans,
you are spot on about the devil having a good taste in bars. I visited his residence in one of my lucid-dreaming and if you would like to know more, check my blog http://www.russianpatient.com for more information. My last post talks about the devil’s ball.
The new ‘normality’ is a new ideology where no ‘daring’ thoughts or behaviour are allowed, and I do fear for all remaining souls trying to resist the doctrine. If it’s not the psychiatry, then it is stigma, but they go hand in hand, of course, marching in unison.
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@boans,
the power of psychiatry is embedded in the fight between good and evil, and the psychiatry operates from a high vintage point, denying people the possibility to believe in anything besides ‘normality’.
What is happening around us, is much more dangerous and frightening than we even want to admit.
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@l_e_cox – thank you!
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@pkolpin, yes, I do think there is a spirit world, hidden to us by the society advancing ‘normality’ as a status quo. It is hard to believe in one’s own convictions in a place that bans everything that is different.
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@madmom,
thank you for sharing your story. So sad.
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Hello Sam,
yes, terrible system. It is hanging over our heads now like a society of Big Brother.
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Hello Sam,
actually most readers here do look for other perspectives and views!
So, please, don’t feel as we aren’t listening, we are.
Lots of us, survivors, are so broken by the system, that it sounds like invalidating, while, for many, it is actually the only space to express themselves, and validate their experiences, and it sometimes gets heated etc, but usually the motifs behind are good. With the exception when someone wants you to believe in ‘mental illness’ and embrace it as a valid choice. Equally those, in their journey, who do survive solely in the mental health system, also shouldn’t be chastised. We are all humans, and we all decide how to live, and sometimes, the ideology of psychiatry is so strong, that many don’t see alternatives outside it. I was there as well, briefly, but I was.
i also personally don’t like the chastising of those who do work in the system as peer support workers, or in any capacity out of the heart, and trying to help those who need help the most, coming from compassionate and kind heart.
As it stands at the moment, the revolution in mental health system, its radical change can only come from within and from outside together, including medical profession, psychologists, survivors, and peer workers. For instance, the stance of the Ministry of Health in Belgium in rejecting the system of diagnoses, is a step in this direction, in some countries, in some places.
The rest is just lost in academic arguments, in debate, while this is too important to just talk about when real people struggle because of what the psychiatry does to them.
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Hello Bippyone,
my comment on brutality was referred to people who commit horrendous crime.
If you feel you are helped and you manage to live your life well, that’s what you should be doing. And I respect it, and genuinely wish you all the best, and your family too.
But some of us (me including), don’t find the current mental health narrative helpful, and manage to live well their lives outside the main biomedical paradigm, and this choice should be respected and honoured too.
Take care of yourself.
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Hello Chuck,
yes, you are right.
I used it metaphorically.
Still, there is a huge difference between ‘mental illness’ which is used as an umbrella term for all cases of human malaise, distress, unusual experience, or just a natural reaction to life events, and the expression ‘suffer from a sick mind’. Bit it might get medicalized too. It is actually getting there already, with the hashtag ‘sick not weak’, makes me shatter every time I see it.
But the acts of brutality are that they are. There is no justification for them, none.
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You get used to this poison eventually. The body readjusts, provided you are on a relatively low dosage (you can’t indeed function on a high dose).
It also stops working eventually, and leads to drug-induced ‘psychosis’. Psychiatrists don’t recognise it, of course, they just switch you to something else or dramatically increase the dose. It is almost funny, but you can also die from the experience, like happened to me.
It is probably the most addictive of the range of the new anti-psychotics.
I take it, at 50 ml a night. I can’t even start thinking about tapering it off, due to my life responsibilities (raising a child, taking care of the cat, loving my work, etc). I would try, if the psychiatric hospital was a safe place to be to check in for a while if you feel you are distressed.
But it isn’t. And the long-term consequences of the anti-psychotics are a time bomb. They ruin you, they make you addictive, etc.
This stuff can be used only for a very short while in case of real emergencies, but currently? It is a harmful drug.
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Dear Sam,
your wife is lucky that she has you!
Yes, I understand why many people find also the term ‘madness’ very offensive, because of its very negative denotation nowadays.
I find the term interesting as a researcher (its evolution, its interpretation, etc), and also as a linguist (different terms in different languages, which appear not as offensive, with different terms for different ‘madness’), and because I am Russian. We have the concept of ‘holy fool’, which personally I found very helpful, and therefore, I am interested in the trajectory of how we look at ‘madness’, etc, also in different cultures, and how it is looked upon as unusual, and sometimes also divine experience.
This runs in parallel with my own experience of psychiatry and lived experience, which is slightly different but also is now my topic of interest. I am an academic, a writer, and now I also see myself as an activist, and as a survivor but it’s all a process, and sometimes a long one. The amount of knowledge I learned from this site though, and how it helped me in my personal journey, is really very valuable.
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Thank you so much for sharing your experience David,
there is quite powerful message here: yes people can recover from what they call ‘psychosis’, even if it may return, and then you recover again, and can lead a productive and happy life.
I don’t find though that the current mental health system supports the person to recover, it often makes it worse, and unfortunately, at the current moment it totally falls on the individual, where the knowledge is the key to be able to advocate for oneself. Most people lack this knowledge and have no voice or choice about their ‘recovery’.
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Hello George,
yes, the sentiment was probably good to start with, but then it went out or proportion, with some of these ‘advocates’ promoting drugs they take.
As if being ”mentally ill’ is something glamorous. Without looking at the term itself anymore, which is a big problem.
It is not ‘glamorous’, and when you promote it as ‘sickness’, it becomes incomprehensible.
Terrible and really frustrating.
It comes as well from the charities which are funded by the government to advance their ‘mental illness is like any other illness’, to deal with all malaise with the help of drugs, and forget about the individual and individual approach.
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Bippyone,
ah, where did you find such ‘medical’ definition to describe ‘psychosis’? This interpretation (true and valid) comes from looking at it as manifestations of the spiritual world.
The common definition of it, as provided by the psychiatry is: ‘a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.’
The most important thing is that you feel that you are getting the support that you need. I totally agree that not all psychiatrists are bad, some of them are quite nice people. Some of them even disagree with the psychiatry after discovering that it can harm people, but are unable to speak out or leave, as it means the immediate loss of the job.
And one single psychiatrist, one single stay in the hospital can ruin one’s life, and it is putting people’s lives at stake, coming from a field which often doesn’t understand what it is doing, and sometimes does, when it is in cooperation with big pharma, and people’s lives don’t matter anymore but profit and one’s ‘career’ advance do.
But you do need to think of yourself, and do what you find helpful, to enjoy your life.
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Bippyone,
I am based in the UK too.
Yes, you are right, everything changed in the past couple of years or so. That’s because of the government and their slogan ‘mental illness is like any other illness’. It is terrifying where it is going. It is going into privitization and big pharma (what do you think will happen after Brexit?).
You are right that here, most people in MH services really are there because they think they do something good. But they have no clue what they are doing. But yes, they are mostly nice people, they just don’t know what they are doing.
I escaped all that in the past in the UK, the ordeal of it because of nice, pleasant experience, where after my terrifying ordeal in Amsterdam, I just checked in into the hospital (in the UK) because I was again afraid that I was becoming ‘ill’, had a nice pleasant stay, nice chat with the ‘psychiatrist (she had to find out though ‘quietipine’/ seroquel in her book when I mentioned it for my sleep, agreed on my dose, laughed with me about my ‘voices’ and was in fact slightly ‘crazy herself), pleasant escapes to the nearest pub from the premises, great walks, baths, etc.
And then they built a wall, it is all secure. The psychiatrists now have no clue, no understanding of the individual. They see ‘bipolar’ in the notes, and argue for lithium because you are supposed to have mood swings (which I don’t), nurses are no longer nice because they have to spend their time on writing notes on computer instead of taking the patient on a walk (which they want, but can’t), there is no choice but to be drugged to be released, you are degraded by some staff members (employed via private agencies, not the NHS ones, which are all nice and compassionate people), and I finally saw, two years ago, what it is (the psychiatry), and what people here were talking about.
It almost ruined my life, my last psychiatric experience.
Never again. I keep seroquel precisely for this reason. If I feel I am vulnerable, I will sort myself out.
But yes, you are vulnerable, because you can access ‘that other reality’, and you are always vulnerable when you are fully there.
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Hello Bippyone,
I just saw now your comment on ‘schizophrenia’.
The wording is precisely what it is, and it is what it is called here in the West.
It is labelled as an ‘illness’. And that’s why there is stigma. It won’t go anywhere while it’s called ‘mental illness’. Trump just proved it.
It is not an illness.
It is the experience of being able to access the other reality, sometimes it can be terrifying, sometimes not.
I was labelled with this first, but they removed it and put ‘bipolar’, as I do too well for their diagnosis of ‘schizophrenia’, while it is exactly what i have (according to their labels), and it is not an illness.
Here, they ruin it. They ruin it by words (if someone from authority, a ‘doctor’ says you are ill, it is very, very difficult to look at it differently), and then they force very damaging ‘medication’ on you, which actually ruins the whole experience and does make you ill. it doesn’t remove the other reality though, and thus, you start thinking that, that’s it, it’s chronic.
Psychiatrists have no clue what it is, and they don’t want to admit it, because they don’t want to loose their power of regulating the society of undesired, challenging, clever ‘elements’. They want everyone the same, complacent.
In other countries, they look at it as shamanic call, or spiritual awakening and work with you on it.
But I know now, I am not a shaman. I am a holy fool, something I found in Russian culture, and which immediately shed a light for me on my experience. I see churches in my dreams, I talk with angels.
Both experiences are valid and should be honored (shamanism or another dimension). I work with both.
Once they ruined you, yes, you are more vulnerable to stress. You do need to be extra-careful. Sleep patterns, regulating stress levels, etc, healthy food, walk in nature, etc, very important.
Take good care of yourself.
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Hello Oldhead,
yes, we had this conversation before about the term ‘psychosis’. Yes, it is extremely offensive.
I use it for a very specific reason, as I do want to study it as an academic, and there is no other way, but to use the term, I do write a book about it (not academic work), and it is the term so much used now, that I simply want to challenge its core. I blog about it too.
What is it??? What? psychiatrists use it as if it conveys something, as if they understand anything, annihilating the other reality. But the other reality is there, and I want to challenge it. The whole look at it.
So, again, I am sorry if some of you are offended by it, yet again, really sorry. I have a reason for it.
Oldhead, if you go to my site http://www.russianpatient.com, click contact and send me an email if you don’t have my original email.
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totally agree with that.
Especially now, with the predominance of the term.
I am not ‘mentally ill’, thank you very much.
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Bippione,
your husband had withdrawal reaction not ‘manic episode’.
These drugs are addictive, and to stop them, you need to reduce them very gradually, very carefully.
I agree with you about giving something when something happens, not to give it all the time. Because then you believe it is chronic and believe in ‘illness’, then you actually become ‘ill’. It acts as a curse. The only way out is to undo it, really. Stop believing in it. And if you become unwell, well, it is just temporary and will pass.
in my case I know now for sure: they should never ever drug me when I ended up ‘in their care’. I would be able to process it, and come out happy and enlightened.
I did eventually, but with the delay of 15 years, and only when I left the mental health narrative for good.
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Hello Bippione,
people get unwell sometimes, and it is true. Now, whether it is a ‘condition’, it is a topic of debate.
The theory of ‘chemical imbalance’ has no scientific argument.
I agree with you that in exceptional cases, ‘medication’ can help, but it is all appropriated by the psychiatry, and it is misused very often.
For instance, some examples: 1. distressed people who exhibit what they call ‘psychotic symptoms’ (in reality, no one knows what is going on, and each ‘psychosis’ is totally different for everyone. I am sorry I use this term. I use it because my experience was called ‘psychosis’, while it was a spiritual liberation and still is. I was prescribed killing dosage of risperidone and almost died, because I couldn’t see the aim of life after the hospital, where the most beautiful thing I ever experienced was called an ‘illness’.
It took me years to process and come to the understanding that it isn’t an ‘illness’, and psychiatry almost ruined me. Well, almost, I am addicted to small dosages of seroquel now, and terrified to try to reduce (even if I take only 50 ml a night) while I am raising my son, because the psychiatric experiment brought me insomnia.
The dosages they inflict in the hospital start from 300 ml – it is a nightmare, and sedates the patient to the total absence of any desire to enjoy life any further.
The anti-depressants, their ‘miracle’ cases lead often to inability to stop them and to massive problems with withdraw, when even deeper depression follows. For privacy issues I can’t provide a name, but a close person to me, a former GP (!!!) can’t stop them now, had to leave his job, and I do fear for his future where anti-depressants don’t work anymore, make him unable to enjoy his life, but where he can’t stop them either. It is hard to watch.
So, yes, medication works, just take it away from the psychiatrists. Because under their ‘care’, it isn’t medication, it is psychiatric, harmful drugs.
Sanctuary is often necessary, but sanctuary doesn’t exist in a psychiatric hospital. As it stands now, it is a huge laboratory of human experiment, where patients are degraded, forced medication they don’t want, and released back, with inability to function as before. I don’t know a single patient who is happy after the ordeal in a psychiatric hospital, and till now, I met many, really many.
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Hello Someone Else,
many thanks for all the links, will look at them all.
I agree with what you say
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Thank you for sharing the story Eric,
terrifying as usual, to hear about the psychiatric ordeal.
May I ask you more about your voices? As you, I took it in my own hands (I don’t hear them all the time, but I definitely see another reality), and decided that it’s all consistent and makes more sense than the age of reasoning. I like ‘my voices’, it is an integral part of who I am.
I am curious, but it’s a very personal question.
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yes, I agree
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‘Mad Studies’ do leave the room for this, I think, but I am right in the beginning of academic research in it.
My writings though (and my book I am finishing to write) are different, hopefully, offer different perspective on things.
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Many here know my journey, and helped me a lot. I learned so much thanks to this site.
I am a survivor like many others here, so the journey is never really totally happy, especially when one decides to speak out outside of the ‘mental health narrative’. It always attracts anger.
But it also attracts the kindred spirits and it’s the main thing, especially when we can help each other.
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thank you, Kindredspirit.
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you wrote a beautiful poem.
Everything is offensive for survivors, unless there is some message of hope.
Otherwise, it is often inflicted from the position of arrogance, and we had enough of it.
Distress, spiritual seeking, enlightenment, feeling lost, hopeless, whatever you feel comfortable on your specific journey at any moment of time.
And there are those who accept some ‘illness’, I was there too, and it is a process, sometimes a long one.
I don’t anymore, but I respect those who do, because it is an impossible task often, especially when one is ruined by their ‘drugs’. Some also find it helpful, and this should be respected too.
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yes, well, at the end I had to retort to this awful slang to pass the message.
Evil -yes. But evil can enter only when one is vulnerable to it. Many psychiatric drugs are to blame as well, because they alter the mind, or make the person feel hopeless.
It is a matter of language indeed.
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totally agree
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Hello ‘Slaying the Dragon of Psychiatry’.
I speak Russian (native), English, French and Dutch. I lived in Russia, Belgium, The Netherlands, again in Belgium, and then the UK. But you can find more about me on http://www.russianpatient.com, where I write about my own ‘madness’ (apologies if anyone finds the term offensive).
Szasz was the first to debuke the construction of ‘mental illness’ and ‘mental diagnoses’, and therefore, his book (and articles) are extremely valuable.
But so were Foucault and Laing, extremely valuable.
More recent works try to bring the debate back (in ‘Mad Studies’), but it’s all very challenging due to the prominence of biomedical discourse, and thus, sometimes even impossible. One of the recent examples of great writings are ‘Madness Contested’, and ‘Mad Matters’ (edited by Brenda Lefrancois), but also works by Bonnie Burstow, Peter Beresford, and some others.
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Hello May-May,
I meant by ‘speaking the truth’ in its general meaning. I actually would advise against speaking ‘the truth’ while dealing with the psychiatrists, who are seeing things only through bio-medical lenses. If anything, it can be detrimental.
I meant, leaving the life truthfully. Recognising that you have your unique path, which can be different from other people’s paths, but also beautiful and unique. Trusting in the path ahead of you, not feeling down because of someone else trying to make you feel that way.
And well, you are among very few who talks about your experience openly, which is a very, very brave act. You are already speaking the truth.
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Hello May-May,
very interesting story and life experience, I have been thinking about it since yesterday when I saw it.
There is a concept, very unique to Russian culture, of ‘holy fool’, it was a ‘foolishness’ for Christ, with origins and justification found in the Bible. These ‘fools’ would walk around and talk the truth, acting often weirdly. Many of them were later recognised as saints.
It is very sad that today, these experiences are indeed called as ‘psychosis’, relegated firmly into the domain of ‘mental illness’. I totally understand why you use this term, it is the current discourse, which is hard to avoid, and gives it a ‘meaning’, even if some people are offended by the term.
I think that without the intervention of the ‘doctors’ you would eventually find yourself in your ‘psychosis’ and connect even more with God, but it isn’t possible in the current age, and thus, you can only do what you are already doing.
i have a very, very similar experience.
Good luck to you and thank you for sharing your story. Read about the ‘holy fool’ in Russian Christianity, it might help you to understand more.
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@disinquitor
The reason I tried to avoid getting into ‘debate’ was precisely to avoid what you wrote in your last comment. Trying to create discussions and uplifting feelings is NOT a selfish reason.
It is extremely unpleasant when people try to snick at you personally, while you share a peace of you with the world
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@oldhead
you are such a marvelous and engaging person, thank you so much for your kind words!
I will write more, and hopefully, there will be more discussions!
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no, I don’t worry not to be understood, my points I try to make them clear in my articles, though my view on ‘madness’, ‘parallel reality’, etc, does change with time.
I don’t want to offend anyone in the comments, as I realised it is a very sensitive topic for many, and using such terms as ‘psychosis, ‘bipolar’, etc, causes distress for some.
Comments is where discussion takes place, and where ‘feelings’ etc, emerge, and my main purpose with writing is to share my inner world, uplift feelings, provoke an interesting discussion.
Writing for me is to create something positive, it is a sharing also a piece of myself, and exchanging energy with others.
In the most positive way.
I try, at least.
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yes, ‘drugs’ or whatever they prescribe. I tread each word carefully within the comments, but still get it wrong:)
Mhh, i would prefer to avoid the discussion of ‘psychotic’ symptoms, it is land-mine, for which I don’t have enough of energy at this moment, as I know I will say something wrong, lol.
There is no real understanding of what is ‘psychosis’ to start with.
They don’t know what it is.
The person ‘presents’ some ‘symptoms’. They are defined as something that the ‘observer’ can’t see. Therefore, it is delegated to domain of ‘loss of touch with reality’.
My position comes and remains: there is a parallel reality. It is there, it is real. It is magic, it isn’t ‘hallucinations’ or ‘hearing rubbish’. It is a parallel universe.
Some people get more frightened of it than others, or have a worse ‘trip’, but it is a unique experience, and changes will come once here, in the west, we acknowledge that.
Like they do in other cultures, such as with shamanic experiences.
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Just to specify my point:
I use the terms ‘psychosis’ and ‘bipolar’ so that people can understand. Otherwise, I absolutely, don’t agree with these terms as definitions of anything!
I once came to a group of ‘bipolar’ support, full of ‘bipolar’ people, to realise that I had absolutely different and unique experience from any of other people in the group. And ironically, they also had totally, unique, unrelated experiences!
Actually, a classic ‘bipolar’ person rarely has ‘psychotic’ symptoms. They have a surge of creativity, which is labelled as ‘period of mania’. Please, forgive me for using the terms, ‘bipolar’ etc, I have no other vocabulary to describe my visit to ‘bipolar’ group, as it was defined as such.
I had vivid, often very beautiful ‘psychoses’ (journeys into parallel world), but as the psychiatrist told me once: they are obliged to give a diagnosis if you come into the attention of psychiatry more than once.
As to ‘schizophrenia’, yes, i strongly believe that medication is to blame for deterioration in the general health, stigma and also self-labelling, as well, as misunderstanding of the society of different experiences.
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Yes, i am in sociology/philosophy field.
I just want to make my position clear.
From an ‘academic’ point of view, one needs to use some kind of terms, otherwise, there is no debate at all, no point of and for discussion.
‘Mad studies’ is the only field in academia which is conducted by ‘survivors’, ‘service-users’, or those who prefer to keep their diagnoses for one reason or another. As I see, it is the only field which can make an interesting contribution in the ‘scientific’ debate.
From personal perspective, I think that everyone has different experience, view and approach. We are all completely different, with totally unique, unrelated experiences. I can understand all of your arguments, but as someone who writes about it, I need to speak from some kind of position, and it is ‘mad studies’.
Otherwise, I write about my ‘psychoses’ (and I intend to keep the term for the time being, as I am not writing about or inventing a new terminology), and it will be mostly a comedy. It is on http://www.russianpatient.com and it will be in English, even if I have some posts in Russian in the beginning.
In academia without any ‘theory’ or ‘terms’ one can’t go anywhere.
As to psychiatry, it is an institution, which has an over-increasing power, and ‘critical’ psychiatry is one domain which can change things for the ‘sufferers’ in the foreseeable future, in practical terms, for the better. I don’t see any coordinated effort anywhere else, apart from ‘debates’. Mad in America is really a site which actually brought coordinated debate into the public, and it is marvelous to see.
Psychology is of course, a valid academic field, with many interesting and useful contributions. Personally, I am fascinated by the subject.
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Just to let you know that I am reading the debate with great interest and am learning a lot.
I plan to write something about movies, so any thoughts are welcome, and also any observations on more modern art.
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yes, the story of St Frances of Assisi is an interesting one.
I will include it in some other writings.
Psychiatry creates lots of things, and especially the narrative of ‘chronic’ mental illness, which can convince a person that he or she is ill.
It is bad.
As to ‘schizophrenia’, I read recently an article in Russian, and their view (the psychiatrists there) is that this ‘illness’ always leads to loss of brain functioning.
I felt really bad after reading it.
There are indeed two recent published articles which argue that it is the use of ‘neuroleptics’ (anti-psychotics) which lead to long-term damage.
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Dear George,
such a sad story, so beautifully written.
Thank you for sharing.
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Hi,
those who subscribed to my blog, could you subscribe again, please. My blog had a wrong feed!
http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.co.uk
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I don’t know what to say Lametamor,
I heard terrible things about the psychiatry in Russia. And terrible things about what they do to people in hospitals, and how the society as a whole looks at it.
But then again, my friend from the Netherlands writes to me from a psychiatric hospital there, where he is ‘treated’ by forced injections, telling me that he wants to end his life, that there is no hope left, that he is finished.
I could have ended up like that too, if i resisted them in the hospital. I almost did last time, until self-preservation instinct told me to ‘remain’ quiet while sectioned, since one has no rights if sectioned.
I recovered, and I recovered from their diagnoses. I won’t go back to any psychiatric hospital ever again.
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if interested about my detailed journey with psychiatry, follow my blog. I started today a story, called, The Russian Patient:
https://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-russian-patient-chapter-1.html
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Hello Streetphotobeing,
I don’t remember the name of the tea, but it did treat my gastritis,
yes, I developed insomnia, and I was hopelessly in love and couldn’t process the disaster of September 11 for two years, it was a huge psychological trauma for me, especially with everything which followed (Iraq especially). Childhood trauma as well.
But despite all this, my visions were real:)
I made a video about it today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHx6tn7c9xs&t=33s
and more on my blog lately http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.co.uk
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Dear rasselas.redux,
yes, it would be a pleasure to meet you in real life!
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JanCarol,
I agree with everything you say.
‘Witchcraft’ as ‘bad witchcraft’, probably not a right word, maybe to call it ‘mass hypnosis’ is a right word. I apologise if the word’ witchcraft’ caused offense and I need to re-frame it, you are right.
I don’t recommend anti-psychotics! Anti-psychotics are created by the psychiatry! I recommend a ‘potion’ and only for those who struggle to claim their voices and visions in peace!
I do consider myself a witch too, but good witch, white witch.
I am developing the blog so it is in the stage of ‘unveiling’ and is for now, addressed to those, who sit at home under a huge amount of ‘anti-psychotics’ and struggle to exit the system.
I un-diagnosed myself long time ago (on the matter of ‘diagnoses’ and the absence of logic in it, will be in my next post) and embraced my ‘madness’ too. My choice for my ‘potion’, created by myself, is to be ‘grounded’ in my daily life, where I am a single mum, have to work, look after my son, and still enjoy my ‘madness’, etc.
I obviously plan to stop my ‘potion’ at some point, when I have firm stability and when I can’t risk to get back in the system for the sake of my son. I have to be grounded, well-thought, and lucid. But with my ‘potion’ I also enjoy meeting with angels, talking with fairies, etc, etc.
Something very bad happened to me last year, when under massive stress (provoked by terrible car accident), I felt i was in ‘psychosis’ and went to the hospital in search of a safe place, and where I was detained under Mental Health Act, and where the ‘doctor’ was experimenting with three types of drugs for two months on me (while seroquel had worked just fine for me, previously), and where I was ‘recovered’ a week upon my arrival to the hospital, but they wouldn’t release me, with shouting nurses, terrible noise and constant partonising. During two months of the ‘nightmare’ my mum had to look after my son who wanted his mum and needed me. It was such a nightmare that it opened my eyes finally at the evil of the psychiatry. Before, I was living outside the psychiatry.
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LavenderSage,
1. yes, of course, people, have a right to talk to each other. I am extremely glad that my article provoked so many discussions and possibility to exchange opinions.
2. My exchange with Oldhead is interesting, but I don’t allow myself to be partonised, when I see it clearly. Including from you.
3. To come back to ‘I don’t think she’s gonna get it’, yes, I would like to know myself as what exactly I can’t get. I am a researcher and an academic, and am always interested to learn, exchange opinions and understand the logic behind each argument, including when it seems I don’t understand something. I also admit when I am wrong if I see absence of logic in my own opinion.
4. To make clearer my point: psychiatry in all its manifestations is ‘witchcraft’, since it isn’t based in science or medicine. Mental distress is real, mental illness is a myth. Psychiatrists make people ill. Medication is different from concoctions created by the psychiatrists. Biology and medicine are real sciences. Diagnoses damage people and are based in fiction of an evil mind. So, yes, i am curious what I don’t get.
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LavederSage,
I am female, and I talk directly to people, not discussing them as ‘they’
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Oldhead,
you have a right to your opinion, and i mostly agree with you. Psychiatry is not a dialogue, including ‘critical’ psychiatry, as it is still based in the narrative of ‘mental illness’. There is no such thing as ‘mental illness’, but mental distress is real, and many people struggle after they enter the system, and especially when they are reassured that they are ‘ill’, which damages them as individuals. Therefore, an alternative needs to be in place, which would abolish the narrative of ‘mental illness’, the main concept which gives psychiatry its legitimacy.
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Lavendersage, please, don’t discuss me as ‘she’, it is my article and I, obviously, read the comments, thank you
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What is RR? I urge tou to read my post on my blog because the problem starts indeed with generalisations. If you were diagnosed as ‘psychotic’ more than once, you do need to exit the narrative of ‘diagnosis’ etc in a creative way, by outsmarting the psychiatry. Biology and chemistry are not psychiatry
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Oldhead, medicine is something which is supposed to heal, psychiatry is not medicine and not a science. You have no arguments in your ‘arguments’ and I agree with previous conclusions that you act as ‘saboteur’. Or maybe you had no experience of ‘psychosis’ and therefore can’t understand what we are talking about indeed.
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Yes, you are right, outsmarting the psychiatry means taking ‘medicine’ under our control! I address this dilemma of ‘antipsychotics’ in my post of today http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.com/2018/11/exiting-psychiatry-by-engaging-alchemy.html?m=1
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psychiatry is not a trap, it is witchcraft, and it is ‘holocaust’. You need first to remove the curse from those who are under their ‘spell’. It is those people who can then fight the psychiatry. Others can help once they understand what is really happening, and they can understand when they hear ‘the stories’ about ‘the curse’ from liberated people. I do try to address all this on my blog http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.co.uk, as well as on my video channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtlCAtS3PmLg3mX_1IVp-eA?view_as=subscriber
I only started, and it is not a promotional activity. It is an urgent need to stop the ‘human’ experiment of the psychiatry before it becomes too late. It is not a science, it is not medicine, it is an evil mind behind all this.
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psychiatry is a witchcraft, or rather ‘bad’ magic. It operates through ‘mass’ hypnosis, and curses people.
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Psychiatry is an ideology actively penetrating the society through their discourse of ‘mental illness’. They do actively destroy ‘different’ individuals by proclaiming them as sick. The only way to claim back humanity is to challenge them by proposing a firm, holistic alternative. I am happily mad and I am on seroquel, by researching my Own medication and my own dose. And I can still own my visions, voices, life and intelligence. I exited the narrative of mental illness by believing in my own journey. Psychiatry doesn’t own drug companies, and there is medication which helps to navigate the journey until one is ready to drop it. Psychosis is a real thing, but it is Not an illness. I try to tell how you can exit the mental health system on my blog http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.co.uk I know that ‘psychosis’ can appear as an offensive term, but I use it because I researched it. They Don’t know what it is (the psychiatry). Le psychose est une jounee, la follie n’est pas une maladie, c’est un etat de difference. Π― Ρ ΠΏΡΠΈΡ ΠΈΠ°ΡΡΠΈΠ΅ΠΉ Π»ΠΈΡΠ½ΠΎ Π΄Π°Π²Π½ΠΎ Π·Π°ΠΊΠΎΠ½ΡΠΈΠ»Π° ΠΈ ΡΠΈΡ ΠΎ Π½Π°Π΄ Π½ΠΈΠΌΠΈ ΡΠΆΠ°Π»Π°, ΠΏΠΎΠΊΠ° Π½Π΅ Π΄ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΎ, ΡΡΠΎ Ρ ΠΎΠ΄Π½Π° ΡΠ°ΠΊ Π»Π΅Π³ΠΊΠΎ Π²ΡΠΆΠΈΠ²Π°Ρ ΡΠΎ ΡΠ²ΠΎΠ΅ΠΉ ‘Π±ΠΎΠ»Π΅Π·Π½ΡΡ’ ΠΈ ΡΡΠΎ Π΄ΡΡΠ³ΠΈΠ΅ Π»ΡΠ΄ΠΈ ΠΊΠΎΠ½ΠΊΡΠ΅ΡΠ½ΠΎ ΠΏΠΎΠΌΠΈΡΠ°ΡΡ. ΠΡΠΆΠΈΠ»Π° ΡΠΎ ΡΠΌΠ΅Ρ ΠΎΠΌ, Π½ΠΎ ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠ΅ ΠΈΠ·ΡΡΠΈΠ»Π° ΠΈ ΠΏΠΎΡΠ° Π΄Π΅ΠΉΡΡΠ²ΠΎΠ²Π°ΡΡ, ΡΡΠΎΠ±Ρ ΠΈΡΠΊΠΎΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΡΡ ΡΡΠΎ Π·Π»ΠΎ
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JanCarol,
no, i know you didn’t call me ‘an idiot’ lol, but i do appear quite ‘off’ in the video:) I will make more!
Yes, one has to be very very careful as how to present oneself and talk with others, while undiagnosing oneself and navigating the system. Totally agree! I wrote a post about it today(in terms of navigating the system, but how to ‘appear’ then to the public, yes, very important, i will address it in my next post. ‘How to play normal’ to the rest of the world, something like that. My post of today is, if any interest, on: https://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.com/2018/11/second-step-in-your-journey-towards.html
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I put the video back on public mode for the time being. JanCarol said I look like an idiot in it, and I agree:) I need to make more videos to deconstruct the ‘vision’ of ‘psychosis’. Yes, I am going straight for their definition of it, such as ‘loss of touch with reality, accompanied by hallucinations and hearing voices’. ”Hallucinations’ are visions and they are real, and voices are real as well. And it isn’t loss of touch with reality, but an altered state of consciousness. And it isn’t an illness. They tell you it’s an illness, which makes you ill. Once the person claims back the power of his visions and his gift of hearing voices, one reclaims the power of self-identity, and starts a journey of self-healing. At this moment, they make people ill. I probably explain it better in my post on my blog: http://porcupineswisdom.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-journey-to-recovery-from-severe.html
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Oldhead,
one can generalize, because all these experiences (as different as they are), are called ‘an illness’ by ‘professionals’ who don’t understand them. Therefore, my usage of the terms ‘psychosis’ was motivated by deconctructing the assumption that it is a ‘desease’. It isn’t an illness, and it isn’t disease. The opposite is true, it is a healing journey.
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Yes, I agree! That’s what the person experiences in altered state of consciousness! Having visions which can be accompanied by hearing voices, and they are real, they aren’t ‘hallucinations’. My particular aim (on my blog) is to deconstruct first their medical language. They ‘shame’ these experiences by calling them a ‘disease’ by attaching a specific label such as ‘psychosis’ or ‘schizophrenia’
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Hi JanCarol,
thank you for the links, i will also look at your website.
Yes, i am at that stage when i finally realised that it isn’t an illness, and that all my visions were real. Yes, i did have the chance of having ‘beautiful’, ‘amazing’ ‘psychoses, and am reclaiming my own personal power that it was beautiful and that magic is real.
But I need to be careful in terms of how I address all this, since ‘psychosis’ can be a very traumatic experience. It is an experience, it isn’t an illness.
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Steve,
yes, I try to argue that the whole process is not a disease but a reaction to something very traumatic in one’s life, and that it is actually a strong ‘healing’ process of the person, and that telling the person that his ‘visions’, ‘thoughts’ and ‘voices’ are not real, stops the healing process and turns it into something shameful, bad and into illness.
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Hi,
thank you for the comments,
I have to rethink, since more people agree that ‘psychosis’ is too embedded as a very negative experience.
My particular aim is to help to understand what exactly happens in that state, such as ‘voices’ and ‘hallucinations’ (visions), and that they are real, not a sign of disease. That in fact even in its most frightening manifestation (psychosis), if the person is believed for what he says or hears, instead of ‘debunking’ it as total nonsense, then the person can work on what is happening in that parallel reality, and be helped better in the recovery journey.
But i have to think indeed how to communicate what I want to say in a better way.
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that’s fine! Yes, i will continue using the term for what i want to do, i don’t see any other way if i want to reach people who experienced the phenomenon and know what I am talking about. This is how it is called, and adopting a different terminology which isn’t recognized will be talking into the void. Here, on this site, we know of different terminology which is still building up. Those in the hospitals with diagnoses are familiar with a different, very embedded in the daily life term. I want to address these people, by explaining that when they are told they experienced ‘psychosis’, it isn’t an illness, that nothing is wrong with them, and that it can be healed, transformed and even enjoyed. And I will change the term in due time. I might be wrong as how I decided to talk about it, by using ‘their’ terminology, but for now I trust my intuition. First of all, I am interested to help those who are stuck in the system and think that something is wrong with them after they had what they call ‘psychosis’ by explaining what it is really ‘psychosis’. A healing process from trauma, which can also be magical.
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yes, i was there (not on anti-psychotic drugs) and I was doing very well. This was when I learned another language and moved two more countries. But it was in fear of what would happen if another psychosis arrives. Until i finally realised (after my last hospital) that you know what? I love the state of psychosis, especially when you can enjoy it while still being able to be a full member of the society. I can’t achieve this stage if not on anti-psychotics (I can’t go into psychosis then at all). I could do without coffee and alcohol (I don’t consume them too much, a cup of coffee in the morning, a glass of red at night), even if I did have it all while also not being on anti-psychotic. Now, I am actively learning how to enjoy my ‘psychosis’, still live well, and be fully here, in this society, for my son. I don’t know if a drug could be developed which would just heal the sleep and relax you, maybe it could, once they start looking at the right thing, and not at what they are looking now. I do take paracetamol for my headaches and so i actually do believe in medicine. I don’t believe in the institution of psychiatry, but i do believe in humanity and that some people do want to develop a drug which helps but doesn’t harm, that there are doctors who come in order to help, and that some people are interested in other people doing well.
Thank you for liking my video lol:)
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yes, i see what you mean. I will from now on say why i use the term. My aim is to actually help people, and people who do experience psychosis can’t be helped until there is a firm alternative in place. It does include re-educating the psychiatrists who come into the system because of a genuine desire to ‘treat’ something. It will stay in the domain of health for a very foreseeable future. In one of my comments I argued that as long as they have ‘psychosis’ in their dsm, the will claim legitimacy, since people in ‘psychosis’ do experience real distress and do need a safe house when they are in that state, they are extremely vulnerable. Psychosis is a real thing, it is simply not an illness.
Having studied psychosis for 15 years as a person experiencing it, i see it as a way to help concrete people in concrete situations, such as people who end up in the system because they are brought there due to what they call ‘psychosis’.
For the rest, it needs to be addressed as precise, separate aims: highlight that they have now such a disorder as ‘antisocial personality disorder’ which makes fighting any stigma impossible, highlight what other disorders they have (labeling different personalities and normal childhood behaviour), etc. But they created the whole thing, starting from ‘psychosis’, and my personal interest is in helping people who always end up in the system (health, medicine, asylum, on the streets, psychiatric hospital), even if the whole psychiatry will be abolished. In psychosis, one does loose touch with reality, and therefore the person needs urgent help, just not the help what it is provided now. Not when it is looked upon as an illness, instead of a healing process of the person, or some emerging spiritual search. In my videos my particular aim is to help people who had concrete experience of psychosis but also address those who are ‘treating’ it. I am not refuting doctors who want to genuinely help, they just don’t understand the phenomenon, but neither does the society, and ‘psychotics’ will be the ones who will always suffer until there is a very good, holistic alternative, where they would emerge from ‘safe houses’ as happy, strong, fulfilled people knowing that they are simply special and unique.
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Lavendersage, I do understand what you are saying! The term psychosis is also used in movies books and tv. I aim at explaining first of all that psychosis isn’t an illness, the symptoms they treat are behaviour related and that’s why Schizophrenia and bipolar get diagnosed and receive a label. My mission is to help people diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar by revoking that it’s an illness and by looking at ways how they can exit the system of labels, diagnosis and heavy medication which harms them as individuals by treating a normal human experience. My aim is to find a way as to how ‘psychotic’ people can enjoy who they are but not end up back on the streets or asylums. Schizophrenia and bipolar are diagnoses for people who are highly gifted, spiritual and fun. I want to start helping these people by removing the label that they are mentally ill once and for all. But it will be a long slow process and I might not achieve what I want, but I come from sincerely
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Yes this is what I am doing
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Oldhead, I am not looking at a substance to get into that state! I am already there, naturally! I am looking at ways how to control it and have it at the same time. Psychosis is called a disease but it is not a disease. From the literature of how they describe it, it is clear they don’t understand it, and since the term is so embedded I want first to transform it into a positive thing and then start proposing new terminology.
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Oldhead, I am not looking at drugs to treat it but am positive that a new drug can be developed which can make psychosis as a daily experience to be enjoyed not to be feared. I use the term psychosis because I look at it in a positive way and want to change perception of what it is exactly. Yes it is an altered state of consciousness which is a normal human experience that some people are blessed to enjoy! Calling it a hate speech is yet another act of diversion from what I am trying to say
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Thank you so much for the links! Yes I am actively learning how to come off AP in a safe way, I was without them for years but my approach was avoiding psychosis and only recently I learned that psychosis is a positive experience for me and part of who I am, therefore I need to learn how to have the state of altered consciousness without loosing it totally and still enjoy my life. So I am looking at how it can be done! If they developed a medication which just provided deep profound sleep and relaxed you, I would try it
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looked at your blog, yes, you play the rules to get out of the hospital, and once you are out, you stop playing them – totally agree
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streetphotobeing,
it depends on what exactly you want to achieve while being out of the system. There are people who managed it and there are people who managed to get off anti-psychotics drugs and be well, but it requires strict routine, no alcohol, and no coffee, and it is hard to preserve then that beautiful state of ‘altered conciousness’.
I was for years without medication but it was in the framework of mind that I should avoid then psychoses. I did end up in psychosis, i was put on medication, and still managed to have psychosis while being on low dose of seroquel- my biggest mistake was that I contacted the hospital myself, and this was my own big learning lesson. I can stay on seroquel of 50 ml, because it helps me to sleep, while still enjoying ‘altered state of mind’. Getting off anti-psychotic totally is in the future, but i want to do it while still being able to enjoy my wine, coffee, etc (which I do now). I want it all: happy life with small pleasures and being able to enjoy my ‘altered state of consiousness’. I am actively learning how i can do it all without seroquel at 50 ml, and once I am ready (once I have a more stable situation from what I am in now – being a single mum with not enough teaching hours, in a foreign country), i will do it. I might have to wait until my son grows up, since he is my biggest and most important priority.
seroquel is not good, but on 50 ml it is manageable. And so, to get out of the hospital, i do accept medication (otherwise, they won’t let you out), but am always asking for seroquel (I tried them all), and then stop it or reduce it by myself.
This helped me to stay ‘functioning’ for 15 years now, with also years in between when I wasn’t on any medication. But taking into account my current stress in life, i personally have to be very careful for the sake of my son’s future.
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JanCarol
yes, all experience is different, totally agree.
I’ve been in the system for 16 years now (not in the system per se, but around it, since I did have to learn indeed how to continue living well and enjoy my life while having experienced ‘psychosis’). Shamanism – we don’t know what it is (and you don’t train in shamanic methods), because there are no shamans around, apart from the fake ones who ask for lots of money. One doesn’t teach shamanism unless one is a real shaman, one becomes a shaman. And the only way to become a shaman is to experience ‘psychosis’ and learn how to control it, and then progress to the stage of helping other people. Shamanism – it is knowing how to live in the magic of the altered state of consciousness.
I did meet enough of ‘patients’ from lots of hospitals to start talking about the experiences in such a way that it will appeal to some, but not to everyone, as is the case with everything. I will continue making videos from now on about all this, as an academic, as a person who had many psychoses, as a person who manages to lead a happy and fulfilled life in between and actively learning how not to deny myself this altered state of consciousness, because this is simply who I am. Doctors make it painful, not the patients themselves. What is painful is what happens before the psychosis, you are right about this. The reason they call it ‘psychosis’ is precisely because as you highlight it can be a traumatic experience for the person.
To start making real changes, we do need real actions and people who are brave enough to start speaking out in public, and bring message of hope to others. It is a process. The terminology is so strongly embedded that by using their terminology to turn it upside down and make something positive out of it is the only way. I did think about it for very long time (terminology). But this is my opinion, others might disagree.
But you are right that it is an altered state of consciousness, and it is amazing in itself because it is magical. Hospitals make it painful, doctors make it painful. Psychosis is usually a reaction of the person to something very bad in his or her life, it is actually a healing process, which needs to be navigated etc.
but hey, no one understands psychosis (and i read enough of academic literature by now and met enough ‘doctors’), and someone has to start explaining what it is from the point of view of the ‘patient’.
My first aim is to explain to people who have been in psychosis that what they ‘hear’ and ‘see’ as visions and voices, are real things, situated in the parallel world. And this is there the most damage is done, when they tell you that it isn’t real. They deny you your self-identity, they deny you who you are.
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yes, anti-psychotics damp your emotions as well as who you are as a person.
When you come off them, you can experience terrifying withdrawal symptoms (especially if you were on them for years). You need to make sure you sleep (really, really make sure of that, including asking for melotonin), take vitamins (B especially), and take warm baths to calm yourself down. Breathing exercise also helps.
Follow the link to Chaya blog and download her free book, it really helps to know that some people really care and been there as well: https://chayagrossberg.com/free-ebook/
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Communism, yes, where i was growing up, psychiatry was thriving to a terrifying extent, together with suppression of any religious awakening. It was a badly managed apparatus, made of greedy people in need of control. How they brought it up via their revolution is a terrifying exploration of mind. Personally, I can’t claim anymore my aristocratic roots, my grand-parent was in Siberia in a political prison, and free thought was suppressed. But, as a child, I experienced good manifestations of socialism as an idea, such as free education, enjoying the school and friends, having food on the table, having access to free medical care. I also witnessed what it meant ‘bringing capitalism’ to Russia, and how it effectively destroyed humanity in some people.
As to psychosis, I recorded a video today about it. Psychosis is a real thing, and it is beautiful thing. I love it and am actively learning how to live in that state while still being able to be part of the society. The link to the video is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9QX-Z2_eS4
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