Wednesday, May 18, 2022

The Bridge

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    In post 46355 above I specified the three major contributing factors to my attempted suicide.

    1. Loss of employment(10%).
    2. Family conflict (20%)
    3. Trauma suffered as a result of detention (and subsequent events) on the 30th Sept 2011 (70%).

    I would like to now go through each of these.

    1. Loss of employment.

    I had been working in the public service for a number of years when I was accused of an act of negligence that had caused harm to a student. The allegation was serious and I responded by demonstrating that not only had I not been negligent, but that the person who made the allegation was actually responsible for the harm that had been done. My employer preferred that I was used as a scapegoat, and I refused to accept this. Not unusual in the public service.

    As a result of the stress surrounding this situation I developed some physical symptoms and went to my G.P. I was given time off work, and rightly referred to a psychiatrist. I was fortunate enough to be referred to arguably one of the best psychiatrists in the state. I had an appointment with this Dr, and he then referred me to a psychologist for counseling, and prescribed a mild dose of an anti depressant.

    The work situation was eventually resolved by me being given a payment for damages and resigning my position. This was approximately 12 months before. I had been seeing the psychologist on a regular basis for approximately 10 months and had built a relationship of trust with her (as one would expect). This relationship of trust is of particular significance in relation to events that followed.

    At some point fairly late in this timeline, my wife expressed a wish to attend an appointment with this psychologist with me. My recollection of exactly why is not clear, however she did attend an appointment with me. At the end of the session I stated to both my wife and the psychologist that I did not see any benefit in having any further joint sessions, and that I would not like to do this again. So, as far as I was concerned that was the end of the matter. If my wife felt a need for counseling, she could seek the services of another psychologist.

    This matter of loss of employment was basically dealt with, and my life was focused on moving forward with other career options. Hence I have given this little weight in the level of contribution to my attempted suicide (10%).

    2. Family Conflict.

    I have briefly described in another thread the family conflict that arose as a result of my wife’s nephew attempting to blackmail her, and the response of my in laws to the situation. I was not a passive victim of their domestic abuse, though was certainly outnumbered, and very vulnerable as a result of living next door to my mother and father in law.

    When the family conflict first arose I discussed the situation with the psychologist, and she gave me a suggestion of how to perhaps deal with the situation. I took this advice and as a result the situation got worse rather than better. I accept full responsibility for this, as the psychologist in now way pressured me to take her advice, and it was ultimately my choice to accept or reject her suggestion.

    With the worsening situation my wife then made an appointment for me to see the Psychiatrist. I pointed out to her that he was “the pill man” and discussing this family conflict with him was essentially a waste of 600 dollars. She cancelled the appointment with him, and then made an appointment with the psychologist. I once again pointed out that it was unnecessary, and that it was as a result of advice from the psychologist that the situation had gotten worse. Rather than cancel this appointment, my wife attended on the Thursday night, despite my insistence that she not speak with my psychologist.

    Given that my decision to remove myself from my home as a result of this conflict had resulted in my wife attempting to stab me in the chest with a large carving knife, I was hoping that perhaps the psychologist may help her to see that my decision was the correct course of action. A dangerous situation, remove oneself from it until matters settle and can be dealt with in a rational way.

    When my wife returned home from this appointment I was angry about her not respecting my wish that she not attend, and asked her if she had got what she went for. Her reply was “There were lots of ‘I’m not at liberty to says’, but I got what I needed”. Of course what became apparent the next morning was that my wife and my psychologist had discussed having me ‘ambushed’ by Mental Health services.

    This was a betrayal by two people who I trusted. The consequences of this betrayal, I believe, is what made a situation that could quite possibly have been resolved, into one that could not ever be forgiven. I was unlawfully deprived of my liberty.

    How does this fit in to what I have discussed above? I valued my relationships of trust with both my wife, and my psychologist. This was attacked and in my mind significantly damaged. I could no longer go to sleep without wondering if I would be woken by police, and subjected to an interrogation (assessment?) by a mental health worker. This was an injection of a poison into my relationships with both my wife and my psychologist, who were now not worthy of the trust I had placed in them both. Rather than inform me of their planned actions, they ensured that I was to be ambushed to get me ‘help’ for my decision to leave my home.

    Big mistake, though one that I feel could possibly have been resolved. However, events that followed this betrayal made that virtually impossible.

    I do not have a crystal ball and can only speculate what might have occurred regarding the family conflict. It is my belief that had I left my home that the situation would have required a reconciliation between us in order to allow our marriage to be fulfilled. I am not suggesting that this would have been easy, but with some forgiveness on both sides, more than possible. I therefore have assigned a weight of 20% to this contributing factor.

    To be continued….


    My belief that I could trust my wife and my psychologist at this point was significantly damaged, and the value I placed on these relationships significantly challenged. However, it is the case that anyone in our community has a right to raise concerns with mental health services if they believe that a person is a danger to self or other. That’s the law, and I knew this because I had studied the involuntary commitment section of the Mental Health Act whilst at college. Damage had been done, but no laws broken, though my psychologist meeting with my wife would certainly constitute a breach of ethics, and she did suggest that I could make a complaint about this at a later time (I chose not too as I believe she was acting in good faith by seeing my distressed wife).

    3. Trauma suffered as a result of detention (and subsequent events) on the 30th Sept 2011 (70%).

    There I stand outside my home surrounded by two police, three mental health workers, and my wife. I am then subjected to an assessment by the Authorised Mental Health Practitioner (AMHP). I had no concerns about this as I was fully aware that there was nothing wrong with me.

    With hindsight I would suggest to anyone who is subjected to one of these assessments to exercise your right to silence. They will lock you up anyway, but you will only provide them with ‘evidence’ by speaking, and allowing your words to be twisted.

    I am asked some questions relating to the family conflict by the AMHP which I answered and he was made fully aware of the situation. I am then detained under S 29 of the MHA, and can not believe that this was being done. I knew, and the AMHP knew that what he was doing was criminal. I have no doubt about this. I have covered the legal aspects of this in the thread “communication breakdown”. Suffice to say that I am absolutely flabbergasted that I am being detained and searched by police in front of my in laws, and am transported to a locked ward in a mental institution.

    My values.

    “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. These are values that I hold in high regard. The beliefs that I hold around these are that unless there is compelling reasons to violate these values, that an individual should not be deprived of them. They are at the very core of my value system, and are reflected in the laws enacted by our parliament. Kidnapping and deprivation of liberty are crimes with serious punishments attached to them, as community values around these issues are seen as being very serious. And yet there I stood watching a public officer commit a serious offense against my liberty, and he had the police assisting him in committing this offense.

    Inject the venom. This was absolutely poisonous to my state of mind. I have heard stories of people who have been incarcerated for crimes that they did not commit, and what they describe about how it affected them is precisely how it affected me. Not only had I been betrayed by my wife and psychologist, but now I was being betrayed by a public officer who had been entrusted with some powers to detain IF he had “reasonable grounds” to do so.

    Locked in the back of a police van on the way to the hospital, dressed in my ‘pyjamas and unshaven, I reflected on what had occurred. This was ludicrous, and I felt that there was no doubt that it would be sorted out once I was examined by the Consultant Psychiatrist (CP). I am delivered to the hospital and had a nurse appointed to me. Credit where credit is due, he was a pleasant young man who did his job appropriately. Answered my questions, and provided a complaint form when I required one.

    I have outlined in the other thread what occurred with the Senior Medical Officer (SMO) who I had a disagreement with during his ‘psychological assessment’, and who then assaulted me after he was instructed by the Chief Psychiatrists Office to get me processed. Technically his assault was an aggravated sexual assault as a result of inserting an object into my mouth without consent, though I do not believe it would be possible to demonstrate mens rea on this issue. Common assault would be the likely charge.

    Inject a little more venom. This has left me deprived of my liberty, and now I am being subjected to coercion and force to physically examine me without my consent. I had a belief that until a psychiatrist said otherwise I had a right to consent where my bodily integrity was concerned. It was fairly obvious from the way the good doctor reacted by physically shaking when examining me that he was aware that what he was doing constituted an assault also.

    My belief that doctors had a duty to “first, do no harm” shattered, and the value that I placed in the doctor patient relationship destroyed by this act. My mind was under attack from nearly every person I had come into contact with since being woken by police ready to tazer me. I am an observer of the sort of thing nightmares are made of, wondering when I’m going to wake up.

    I had made numerous calls from the hospital telephone to my wife, lawyers, the Council of Official Visitors (advocates), and the Office of the Chief Psychiatrist attempting to have something done about the situation. My wife would not give me my daughters telephone number so that I could gain her assistance. It is my belief that this was because she had not expected that I would be dragged away by police, and treated in such a manner. She wanted me to speak with someone about my decision to leave, not be incarcerated and brutalised. She was ashamed of what her actions had caused, and did not want me to inform my daughter. This is supported by the fact that my wife called the hospital whilst I was being interviewed by the CP and informed him that she had told a lie about the threat to assault me by her family. This lie incidentally was insignificant in the end, as it was not even noted by the AMHP.

    It is my belief that as a result of my interaction with the nurse, he realised that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me (I even did a building inspection for him, and gave him a report on a couple of minor OHS hazards). I’m certain that he pushed to have the psychiatrist examine me before leaving on this Friday afternoon. If he hadn’t I would have been locked up for the weekend.

    Enter the Consultant Psychiatrist.

    I am interviewed by the CP over two time periods and he can identify no mental illness, and that whilst my decision to leave my home may be impulsive, that he has no reason to involve police, or to keep me incarcerated for “de escalation”. This, he suggests in his report would only make matters worse. My prayers are answered and I am released.

    I see this as being the administration of three seperate doses of poison. The betrayal by my wife and psychologist in having me ‘ambushed’, the removal of my liberty for no other reason that having a dispute with my in laws, and realising that I can be assaulted by a doctor whilst in a vulnerable position, and had I attempted to defend my right to bodily integrity I would have been restrained and injected with a heavy dose of drugs.

    However, I live in a community where things sometimes go wrong, and there are mechanisms in place to deal with such events. My community values honesty and integrity, and I held a firm belief that this wrong would be examined objectively, and justice would be served. I don’t live in a fascist dictatorship where people can be dragged from their bed and incarcerated for having a dispute with one’s in laws. I would make a complaint and have this matter dealt with.

    To be continued….


    When I was released by the CP he requested that I not return home for three days. He realised that I was angry with my wife, and so said that he did not have the power to make me stay away, but would I do so. I agreed thinking that his suggestion was reasonable. It is also worth noting that as a result of speaking with him that my thoughts about leaving my home had ‘softened’. I had not changed my mind that given the situation it was the best course of action, but I was thinking very hard about how I could resolve the matters and not have to leave.

    Whilst staying with a friend, the next morning I called my psychologist on her personal mobile phone. WTF. What on earth went on between you and my wife that resulted in me being treated in such a manner? Why did you even speak to my wife when I had given explicit instructions that it was not to occur? “Your wife was sitting in the waiting room when I came out for your appointment crying her eyes out, should I have turned her away?” to which my answer was “yes”. Okay, it didn’t happen, however, what on earth were you both thinking deciding to have me ambushed by mental health services? “She didn’t want you to leave her, and thought you may be ill the way you were acting over this threat. So I suggested she have mental health services do an assessment of you because you wouldn’t come and see me”. We spent more than an hour speaking about what had happened to me, and I expressed my displeasure about how this had been organised.

    I return home on Monday evening. The house was a mess, and it is apparent to me that my wife has had a party whilst I was away. Empty wine bottles everywhere, and food platters. I cleaned the mess up and then had a ‘discussion’ with my wife. I let her know in no uncertain terms that I did not appreciate her telling a lie to mental health services to have me locked up, that having me ambushed in such a manner was positively offensive, and that I did not appreciate the fact that while I was locked up she was organising a party for her friends. I was angry. My wife in hindsight, wanted to put it all behind us and go on our ‘honeymoon’ the next week. I refused, and suggested she take one of her friends, or even the AMHP who she had organised to detain me. Seemed a shame to waste the thousands of dollars that had been spent and could not be refunded. I had work to do, I had been unlawfully detained and would as I explained to her, have two years of legal work ahead of me to have this matter dealt with.

    At this point I no longer trusted my wife as implicitly as I had. Sleep was difficult as I was unsure of what might occur when I awoke. However I went about my business and began the process of obtaining the documents required to demonstrate the unlawful detention. I have described in the “communication breakdown’ thread basically what occurred over the next 8 weeks. My wife engaged in a conspiracy to pervert the course of justice with the FOI officer at the hospital, to deny me access to the documents demonstrating her administering benzodiazepines without my knowledge (drink spiking). This was a major dose of poison straight to the mind. It sent me into a psychological spin.

    Not only could I not trust my wife to have me ambushed, she was also prepared to lace my drink with drugs without my knowledge. And then join forces with the very people who had already committed an offense against me to deny access to the very documents that I required to pursue my cause of action. Who was this person I was living with and had adored for 6 years? Why had a FOI officer agreed to commit such a serious offense? And particularly, how could I pursue my cause of action without saying something that would see my wife go to prison? Critical mass had been reached in the poisoning of my mind. I could trust absolutely no one.

    Imperfect person that I am we argued over the next week or so. It became very heated, and at one point my wife rang mental health services again. She attempted to have me detained again, though they refused to attend, instead telling her “He’s a police problem”. I called them back immediately and gave the woman a serve, telling her “How about we decide if I’m even a problem before allocating responsibility”. My wife then called police at about 8 30pm, and we both spoke to the officer on the line. This officer suggested that we both calm down and go to separate rooms. So I did this, I went to the study and worked on the paperwork associated with my cause. At about midnight I walked through to get a coffee, and as I passed my wife I said to her “Probably better that I get my own drink” (referring to the drink spiking). She got on the phone immediately and called police.

    My wife told me that the police were on their way, so I called a friend and asked her to stay on the phone. My wife greets police in the driveway of our home, and she stays outside with one officer, whilst a roid raging combat soldier comes into the house and speaks to me. This PC was dressed ready for Afghanistan. He asks me to put down the phone while he speaks to me, and I tell him that I will be keeping my friend on the line, and would he remove himself from my home. He tells me “Your wife said I could come in” and I responded with “and I’m asking you to leave, and we can speak outside”. So we go out to the front door, and he asks whats going on. I tell him that three hours ago my wife and I had been arguing over her spiking my drink with benzos without my knowledge, and that after she rang police it ended. I asked what he would be doing about this drink spiking offense and he said he had no evidence of it. I told him I had the documentation in the house and then called out to my wife who was with the other officer 15 feet away to get her to confirm her behaviour. “Hey XXX” was all I said. This gave him grounds to issue a police order and evict me from my home for being “loud, angry and aggressive”.

    Yes my statement to my wife was ‘provocative’, but is speaking 8 words to ones wife really grounds to evict someone from their home? Loud angry and aggressive, I had someone on the phone who would testify that this was certainly not the case. And my wife drugging me without my knowledge isn’t a police matter? Not domestic violence? What about attempting to plunge a large carving knife into my chest? Anyway, I spent the night walking the street till the morning when I could go to a friends house and use the spare bedroom. A long story that night, and certainly significant in the scheme of things. When I did return home I said to my wife that it was ridiculous that I could be evicted based on what had occurred, and she said “It did all seem a bit too easy”. More poison administered, my wife can now call police at any time and have me evicted from my home for speaking to her. This is a marriage? I am to comply with her every command, or risk being evicted.

    I made a complaint to internal investigators (expecting nothing from a police force that is known to be corrupt). My complaint was that I had not been “loud, angry and aggressive” and that there were no grounds for issuing the police order. The investigator spoke to the issuing officer and called me. The PC had claimed that I was under the influence, adding this information post hoc. It was an interesting response from the investigator when I told him that I hadn’t touched alcohol for 18 years. Of course nothing was going to come of this complaint, the police are notorious for resorting to all sorts of threats and intimidation here to deal with them. I was merely wondering how they would lie to get around the complaint.


    I do have some information for anyone who finds themselves in such a situation as a result of what occurred. I made two mistakes. I should have recorded the conversation with the officer covertly. When evicted I should have got to the best hotel in town and got a room for the night. Why I hear you ask.

    If I had recorded the interaction then it would be evidence that I had not been “loud, angry and aggressive”. I keep this recording to myself. I then go to the police station and ask that they reimburse me for the hotel bill as I had been wrongly evicted from my home. They would most likely laugh at me.

    I make application to the small claims court. This fast tracks the matter as it takes mere weeks to get a hearing. The police would likely contest the claim, and will attend court, and testify under oath that I had been “loud, angry and aggressive”. This would of course be perjury. My claim would be dismissed and I walk out of court. Now, whilst going through my phone I come across the recording. This is evidence that two police officers have perjured themselves in court, and a miscarriage of justice has occurred as a result.

    Need to be careful when fabricating evidence on a police order officer. It’s criminal as you would know.

    My advice? Always be recording, and do not inform the public officer that you are doing so. If they become aware that you are, they will dispose of any evidence of their misconduct. If you are unsure, record, and then speak to a lawyer and let them know of the existence of the recording, they will advise you on what course of action to take. It is not unlawful to record conversations covertly, it becomes unlawful if you share that recording with another person. A lawyer will know how to get around this situation.

    This is valuable information particularly where mental health services are concerned. We need to find ways of fighting back against their corruption.


    Why I do not find their posts. I want to ask -Nobody know more places where we can speak on such topics? What would you understand.


    Here’s the link to the version we can watch in the states:

    I think you can repair yourself from this experience boans. I think you can help others who have found themselves in similar situations-god knows they’re out there.


    How appropriate that I named this thread “the bridge”.

    It is at this point in my story that I find myself standing at the bridge. Something happened that makes me want to vomit to this day. My mind had as a result of these events been poisoned. I stood and watched as others violated virtually every value I held dear in this life. My relationships with my wife? I couldn’t trust a word that came out of her mouth anymore. My psychologist? Could not be trusted. Mental health services? Trust them to treat me with dignity and respect? I was at a point where I actually did need some help now, and they had demonstrated to me that they could not under any circumstances be trusted. My daughter, friends? My wife had been telling them that I was mentally ill despite the results of the assessment by a psychiatrist. So they were treating me like a leper. My in laws? still not on speaking terms with them, though the threats and phone calls had stopped.

    This was the 10th December 2011. I am torn as to whether I should publicly describe the events at this time. What I will say is that this was a turning point, and the betrayals described above pale to insignificance when the events after this point are examined. This went from an accidental, bumbling attempting to cover some offensive behaviour, to an organised, systematic destruction of another human being.

    It needs to be understood that I had a battle trying to save my marriage, and a battle with mental health services trying to get something done to recognise the wrongs that had been done to me.

    I will at this point only identify the 2nd Jan 2012 and the detention at another hospital as also being of significance. My wife, once again operating behind my back managed to have me involuntarily admitted for an examination by a psychiatrist. The trauma associated with this detention I believe I mentioned in the other thread. The idea of informed consent consists of being surrounded by thugs and threatened with a needle if one chooses not to take medication.

    I will make some comments to various people at this point.

    To my Daughter and Grand Children.

    I have always loved you dearly, and not a day goes by where I don’t think about you. What has happened to me was done to me, it had nothing to do with some ‘chemical imbalance’ in my brain. The person you once knew no longer exists, he died. There is very little left now that everything I ever valued and believed about the good in the world was shattered. If you wish to understand look through the documents chronologically. My journals, the documents with the lawyers, the letters that were exchanged with the hospital, Chief Psychiatrist, and the Minister, and my email account. I hope I have managed to document the points at which lies and deceptions were engaged in to frustrate my cause of action, and which contributed to the destruction of the person I was. I was in some ways responsible for all this. I made the mistake of trusting people, and they have shown me that they were not worthy of that trust. I also made the mistake of believing that my community wouldn’t allow such acts to go unpunished, I was wrong.

    To my wife.

    Thank you for the 6 wonderful years we had together. I have never been more alive in my whole life. I find myself looking back and asking where did it all go so wrong? There is no single point that can be identified. The family conflict? Okay, I understand that you were accustomed to that type of abuse, and I wasn’t and needed to leave for my own well being. If I have one regret it is that I put my foot up to stop you from plunging that knife into my chest. You wanted me to stab you when that failed, I know that you were feeling how I was about me leaving. I was hurting that badly too. For what ever reason you didn’t feel you could discuss this with me, and hatched a plan with XXX to have me ‘ambushed’ by mental health services.

    I am sure that both you and XXX were expecting me to be treated with dignity and respect. This is not a service that mental health provide. They pseudo pack rape people, and coerce and force them through the use of torture to comply with their collective definition of normality. I struggle to see how that sort of ‘treatment’ was going to save our marriage. However, it happened and I forgive you for being the instigator of that brutality.

    You were at that point faced with a choice. Be open and honest with me and tell me about drugging me without my knowledge, or engage in deceiving me. You chose the latter, and committed to a second betrayal. I can see how you believed that this would go unnoticed. You should have known better. If you make a mistake, it is best to correct yourself immediately, lest it become painful and unbecoming. Yes I would quite possibly have been angry about it, but nothing compared to the sense of betrayal that I felt after 8 weeks of being deceived by you and the FOI officer. I remember those weeks well, and how your actions to sabotage me seemed so bizarre. I would have difficulty condemning you for it though. It’s what criminals do when they commit an offense, try to cover their crime. I don’t envy what you must have gone through in those weeks. Watching me work so hard to achieve something, knowing you were deliberately damaging everything I was doing. I would find that difficult with someone I hardly knew, never mind someone I loved so much. This second crime was however much worse than the first. It involved collaboration with another, and attempts to get me to sign documents that you knew were going to do me harm. It was not a crime against my person, but one against the administration of justice. It is not for me to forgive you for that.

    Your actions with the police when you had me evicted. Might I suggest that you consider whether having a gun put to someones head for speaking to you is a correct course of action. Now that you are aware of how easily you can have these thugs do you bidding with a phone call, you will no longer need to take no for an answer from anyone you are in a relationship with. Use your weapon wisely.

    I assume you think I don’t know what you did after this event. Well I do, and it fills me with disgust. You are not the human being I thought you were. I have been through a couple of messy relationship breakdowns, but your behaviour could only be described as sociopathic. Another betrayal? Oh yes, and one that I doubt even God would forgive. “Fighting for your new life” is how you described it to me. Oh well, I do not have to answer for your vile actions.

    To XXX (AMHP)

    You sir are a fraud. You have been entrusted with the care of some very vulnerable individuals, and have categorically demonstrated to me that you are not worthy of that trust. The Mental Health Act attributes some powers to you, and given certain conditions you are allowed to exercise those powers. These standards were put into place by some very wise people, who knew that these powers needed to be restricted, for fear of them being abused and doing damage to people.

    You have found a way to subvert these protections afforded the community, and feel confident that you will not be held accountable. And you are right to feel confident, your colleagues are covering for you should anyone notice these acts of fraud you are committing. I’m sure you feel that by committing these acts of fraud you are helping these people. Let me tell you that you are wrong. I have no doubt that people have died as a result of your criminal behaviour, and that many lives and relationships have been destroyed.

    I’m sure it makes the job easy not having to meet the standards, and fabricating the evidence you require to exercise you power. Keep right on justifying your criminal behaviour to yourself, I wouldn’t want you to ask forgiveness for it. It might just be given. The contrapasso for frauds is that they will be forced to eat their own faeces. How appropriate. Enjoy your time on this earth, because you have an eternity to eat your own S#&t.

    To Dr XXX (SMO)

    You sir assaulted me when I denied you consent to touch me. I know that you were fully aware that what I was saying was correct, your physical reaction gave you away. Your integrity was tested and you failed. I haven’t had the chance to read your book about converting African tribes people to Christianity. I’m sure though that you have asked forgiveness for your trespasses. After hearing about your dismissal from the service, and that you are dying of cancer, I have forgiven you.

    You were lucky that day in that I did not make a decision to defend my person. It would have been demonstrated to you the sort of damage that can be done during an assault. My integrity was also tested, and you are fortunate that I passed that test.

    To Dr XXX (CP)

    Thank you for spending the time with me that you did. Those many discussions we had after my suicide attempt were some of the best conversations I have ever had with another individual. You are an honest man and showed compassion, respect and integrity. The one thing that caused me concern was when you finally figured out what the AMHP had done, and you merely went and had a word with him. This is how priests were enabled in their abuse of children. Criminal behaviour can not be treated as a character flaw, and is not corrected through a ‘quiet word’. How shocked I was when you admitted your mistake and apologized. Rather strange behaviour when placed in contrast to other staff at that facility. Good luck and best wishes to you and yours Doc.

    To XXX (Op Manager)

    You madam (and your side kick XXX) are liars. Remember the silence when you and he told that lie about the Form 1? It was kind of obvious to everyone in the room. No accountability round here eh? Conduct investigations with predetermined outcomes, and then provide that information to others so that they can speak lies whilst acting in good faith. Congratulations on your promotion, you deserve it. Anyone who can weaponise a complaints process like that should be extorting money for the mafia. Still, it’s the best way to stand out from the crowd in the public service. Know how to rort the system and you will go far. See you on your way back down.

    To be continued…


    [quote=46428]Here’s the link to the version we can watch in the states:

    I think you can repair yourself from this experience boans. I think you can help others who have found themselves in similar situations-god knows they’re out there.


    Unfortunately humanbeing I’m what they call in car industry a “write off”. Meaning that whilst a repair is always possible, sometimes it’s just not economically viable, and what would be produced just wouldn’t be worth the effort.

    I guess my ranting in the above posts (and I’m going to do it again lol) points to why the repair job is so difficult.

    Will I ever learn to trust again? No, I don’t believe that it’s possible given what has happened.

    I had a very insightful discussion with a psychologist today. I’m sure he got a lot more out of it than I did funnily enough. I went through the events pretty much as I have described them above. The attack of my values and how my mind is either going to have to make serious adjustments to my whole belief system, and in the meantime I am incapable of doing much that is of any use to anyone.

    What was so powerful about the conversation was when I explained the story about the plot to kill the prophet. Seven spears and no one could be seen as being responsible, as no one would know who actually delivered the fatal blow. I asked him to consider the events and laid them out one after another briefly. Betrayed by my wife, betrayed by my psychologist, unlawfully deprived of my liberty, assaulted by a doctor, and then some respite from the attacks on my values and beliefs. Then when seeking the support that is the duty of certain persons in our state mechanism I am betrayed again, first by the hospital manager, and then by the Chief Psychiatrist. These are the seven spear wounds that will kill me, but no one will ever be seen as being responsible. (as an aside the psychologist asked me if I thought I was the Prophet Mohammed (SAW) No doc, just an analogy).

    What I did then was explain that I could identify the fatal blow precisely, It was the unlawful detention by the AMHP. My relationship with my wife, sure if it didn’t work out then I would have been hurt badly, but I’ve recovered from that before. My values and beliefs would have to be adjusted around HER, not society. My relationship with the psychologist, okay so I don’t use her services anymore, and my beliefs around HER would need adjusting. But the deprivation of my liberty was something else. I imply no evil intent on the part of the AMHP, but he committed a criminal offense and took away something that I hold dear. It is at the core of my value system, my right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. This act of corruption is absolutely poisonous. Had the mechanisms that are in place to ensure that this value that my community values so dearly come in to effect and dealt with this crime against my liberty, then maybe I could have been repaired and become a functioning member of my society again. But the mechanism has failed, and it has failed because they are enabling the corruption. Those within the ‘system’ place little value in the right to liberty, and in this sense are out of touch with our community values.

    They don’t want the responsibility of having to abide by the standards set out in the laws where peoples liberties are concerned. How inconvenient. We know whats best, and if we think that someone can be helped, but they don’t meet the standards, we just fudge the paperwork and lock em up and drug em anyway. It’s for the best you see. Like the cop who knows a criminal when he sees one, but doesn’t have the evidence. So he plants a bit of pot on him and then locks him up. It’s whats best for the community see.

    Well, I just don’t see it that way. That person is now much more likely to do damage to the community. One cancerous cell infects another.

    It’s a tough trade off. The State obviously values the citizens right to liberty, this is reflected in the laws designed to punish those who violate those rights (eg kidnapping). But they have also given the AMHP powers to violate those rights given certain conditions. And he is to sign a statutory declaration to prove that he has met those conditions.

    One thing I have found where this statutory declaration is concerned is that people have this false belief that the words used can not be tested. The psychiatrist last week said something like “well it’s not entirely accurate, but there’s some truth to it”. This is of course correct so I said well how much truth do you need to put in a statutory declaration to make it truthful, 5%? 10%? This she couldn’t answer, I can.

    The measure (or ruler if you like) is in the Oaths, Affidavits,and Statutory Declarations Act. Do the words used materially affect the exact words, and are they likely to mislead. Can that be checked? Oh yes, most certainly. And when I have gone through the Form 1 EVERY SINGLE ONE of the items stated as “facts” are materially affected, and not only likely to mislead, but ACTUALLY misled both Dr XX and DR xx and the Chief Psychiatrist himself. This was a crime that made a significant contribution to the destruction of my marriage, and all but resulted in my death.

    What has been the defense by the authorities charged with holding this person to account? “you were detained under the Mental Health Act, we have checked the Form 1 and the AMHP had “reasonable grounds”. Okay this demonstrates that his fraud works, but can we examine what he has testified to on the Form and the material facts? No, because what’s written on the Form doesn’t matter. What?? A statutory declaration is the equivalent to sworn testimony in a court. You refuse to examine the testimony given by someone that resulted in a person being deprived of their liberty? We don’t wish to look because if we do then we will know that he has perjured himself, and that doesn’t suit our purposes. And no damage was done, you only got locked up for 7 hours anyway. Oh, it was only a little rape then?

    It really is bizarre what they are using as a defense. What they are basically saying is that it doesn’t matter what you say in a court of law. That the truthfulness of testimony can not be tested. If that were the case then there is no need for any statutory declarations, they would be redundant. There would be no need for an oath in court, and the crime of perjury should simply not exist because it could under no circumstances be prosecuted. I know this is untrue and can point to cases where false declarations have been prosecuted, and I’m fully aware of the burden of proof. Putting a little bit of truth in a statement does not make it the truth.

    If the Chief Psychiatrist has examined that Form (and he has written that he has) and examined the “material facts” he is either professionally incompetent, or is dishonest and lacks any integrity. I have tested this by giving him the opportunity to correct his “mistake”. A person who has made a mistake will admit it, and then do what they can to put that mistake right. A dishonest person will admit their mistake if forced to, and will then do nothing to put it right. That is the integrity test. The Chief Psychiatrist has admitted his mistake, and has done nothing to put it right. Interesting that he has given an argument from authority though. By feigning incompetence he can later claim that it was an oversight should anyone hold him to account for his dishonesty and lack of integrity (plausible deniability). I get the feeling he is quite an intelligent man, and would be a great card cheat lol. As an ex public officer I’ve seen this con before.

    When you are responsible for $10 million dollar contracts you get to learn a thing or two about how people will try to cheat you

    to be continued….


    Afraid I do understand the sense of betrayal, the shifting of the meanings of ‘words’, being thrown away like a dirty keenex and the complete lack of trust-I don’t have the capacity to record my experience and I don’t think it would do any good.

    Wish I could take a pill and forget about all of it (being facetious).

    At one point in my experience I told a friend that the county mental health dept. was making me crazy!

    I’m trying to hang onto the thought that those of us who have been deemed ‘useless’ can be recycled in a way that benefits the greater good. But I could just be deluding myself-again.


    I’m trying to hang onto the thought that those of us who have been deemed ‘useless’ can be recycled in a way that benefits the greater good. But I could just be deluding myself-again.

    That’s not a delusion at all, many will recover. And I’ve no doubt that your pain will heal. The process of withdrawal does have an end, of that I’m sure.

    I have great hopes for your future. I see a good person in your writing. That will not go unnoticed, even in a society that values power and money over compassion and humanity.

    Great days ahead for you 🙂


    Comments to various people cont…

    To XXX FOI officer

    My comment to you is in the form of a question. Which crimes will you assist a person in covering up? I mean we know that my wife called you when I made an FOI application for my documents and requested that you not provide me with the information about her drugging me without my knowledge. You have a duty under the FOI Act to assist people with gaining access to their documents. One would imagine that requires you to inform a person of what is required to gain access, and if they can not provide what is required then no access. This is not what you did. You deliberately didn’t inform me of what was required, and then misled me into an appeals process you knew would fail. You and my wife sure had me running in circles, and by doing so ensured that her criminal act would not be exposed. I’m sure you knew that this was also a criminal act by your response when the lawyers became involved. Telephone calls and a personal meeting with my wife to plot a way out of being detected in this crime. I must say I admired the first attempt to get me to sign a form that would have released you from this criminality. Those three letters on the same day would likely confuse most people into signing. And didn’t my wife try and convince me to sign. The second attempt was a little more lame. Telling me to sign my documents over to my wife will get me them quicker? Really, how silly do you think I am. Another person can have my documents, but I can’t? So you had to send the documents to the lawyers eventually, and breach the Operational Directive of the Chief Psychiatrist to avoid the lawyers figuring it out. I understand. How could you have possibly written to the lawyers and asked them to join you and my wife in committing this offense that carries a mandatory prison term? I don’t think they would have assisted you.

    Once I pointed out to my wife how serious a crime this was, she tried to lay it all at your feet. “She told me it was best I didn’t tell you” is what she said. And I’m sure you were confident in your obstructing access to documents, you done this before haven’t you. And there is the issue of providing my wife with information from my file. Did you tell her about my previous relationship? Who else are you providing personal information to? Hope they’re paying you well.

    Back to which crimes you will assist in covering up. I was wondering if maybe I drugged someone and raped them, they end up in hospital and I tell the triage nurse what Ive done and they document it, if you would block access to the information if I asked nicely? What about a murder?

    I’d suggest that you consider what your job actually consists of. The lines are very clear. Still, I wonder about how frightened you were when you thought this would be discovered. I got the feeling when speaking to you manager that she was trying to find out if I knew, and whether I was going to report it. And she did threaten me with suit for liable if I spoke about it. Once again the ‘good faith’ defense was offered. It’s just not valid where an act of negligence has occurred, and you neglected to provide me with information that you had a duty to provide.

    It was nice though for you to break the law to help my wife for free. Might want to have a look at the Corruption and Crime Commission Act though. Section 8, definition of misconduct. Can’t use your position to obtain a benefit or cause a detriment for yourself or another person. That would be me (detriment) and my wife (benefit). Your not a social engineer.

    You have put yourself in a very compromising situation. If I had evil intent I might consider asking you for access to the medical records of people. Or I’ll report you. See, one little act can become a nightmare quite rapidly. I wouldn’t do it though, because I’m not the criminal here, you are.

    You are a disgrace to the office you hold, and if it were up to me I would be having a good hard look at your behaviour. The integrity of peoples personal medical information is vital. And you have demonstrated that your more than not trustworthy. I will repeat what I wrote in the letter to you about this issue, your behaviour is both vile and offensive.

    To the Chief Psychiatrist

    What can I say that hasn’t already been said Doc? The causes of our mental health system being in crisis are patently obvious. Your lack of understanding of the Mental Health Act beggars belief. I don’t mean to be rude but given that you are the person who is responsible for the Act, wouldn’t it be handy to know what it’s about? I can send you a copy if you like. Of course you know the Act, and it’s easy to deal with complaints by pretending you don’t. Bit of gaslighting goes a long way in your industry eh? I mean really, I have to explain the Mental Health Act to YOU?

    Still, my letters are there on record, and you are fully aware of the potential for damage. Maybe someone will take a look and realise that you knew and failed to act. The legal standard that you wrote out of the act, “suspect on reasonable grounds” is also contained in the Corruption and Crime Commission Act (S 28, 2 a). If you suspect on reasonable grounds that a public officer has been engaged in misconduct, you have a duty to report. And there are penalties if you don’t. Funny that this legal standard is applied very differently when it comes to you. Reasonable grounds for me is some flimsy document that has a little bit of truth to it, for you it is beyond a reasonable doubt.

    Your inability to apply logic and reasoning became obvious when you came to the conclusion that the AMHP had reasonable grounds because his grounds were reasonable. Setting the standard for the rest of the employees, it’s no wonder that I experienced what I did. While the cats away, the mice will turn to rats. Lets hope your not in the position long, and that someone who has some honesty and integrity takes up the position. Coz it aint you.

    I was once told by a psychologist that I have very high standards, and that it was leading me to disappointment when I expected this of others. Yours seem to be very low. Maybe we can get our heads together and meet half way, it would be a start.

    I laughed at the way you built up the AMHP as a highly trained individual, and then call what he did on the Form 1 ‘professional’. Any first year psychology student will tell you the importance of context, you know the bit he deliberately left out to make it look like “reasonable grounds”. It shows some skill, but it is a skill in how to commit acts of fraud, nothing more.


    Oh boans…

    Every word you have written thunders.
    How is it possible that after what has been done to you you are still able to write about it with such clarity?
    I don’t know the answer to that question.
    I suspect it is the soil miracles grow from.

    My soil is like yours. It was poisoned before I was born. It was poisoned before thought and memory existed.
    I am still here too.
    That is my miracle.
    I am only here because I was able to understand how my soil was poisoned, too many generations ago to count.
    I am still here because I have spent every moment of my 37 years tracing that poison.
    With love.
    Not love for myself, I died for all practical purposes long ago.
    I traced that poison back to it’s source in the hope that my living death will help even 1 person not have to live a life that is not alive.
    There is a force in the universe that rewards courage, bravery, love and bloody relentless determination.
    Humans have called it by many names.
    All of those names insult it in the naming.
    It is beyond words, even words like love.

    This is my story, this is for boans, for uprising, and humanbeing. My brothers in “madness”, fuck no.
    My brothers in sanity and healing. Not for ourselves, but for those who come after us.

    Real healing only occurs when those who have been made sick take that ocean of pain, swallow it, keep it down, and transmute it within themselves.

    That is what you have done.

    This is what I did… “The cliff notes version.”

    My family is poisoned.
    My family was poisoned by war, the holocaust, greed, hatred, ignorance, and incest.
    They are not to blame, but I have paid the price for it.
    I still cannot believe I am still here.
    I’ll trace the poison back 4 generations, it goes much deeper, but brevity is the sister of coherence and the mother of comprehension. These are my only real family now, and family I trust.

    My grandfather grew up on a watermelon farm. His father was a genius. He tried to tell everyone he met that white flour, sugar, and pesticides were deadly. No one listened. He died long ago, I wish I could thank him for his quiet, enduring and profound male wisdom. He grew watermelons on that farm that were so sweet and pure a gangster named Pretty Boy Floyd visited regularly, and loaded his car with as many as would fit next to the guns his own poison armed itself with.

    This genius married a woman who carried great poison through her own family line. I cannot know what sort of poison, but I suspect it’s name is incest.

    I think incest is caused, in part, when women refuse or are unable to open to men. My healing started the day,
    The second
    I refused to
    Continue that cycle of using my sexuality as a weapon, and made it into my own garden,
    Ripe with fruit
    Sweet like watermelons.
    Spreading life, not death.

    My grandfather met my grandmother in the Shanghai Ghetto, where she was interned because her family was rich enough to avoid Aushwitz.

    Most of that side of my family died in the ovens. My middle name is Renee. I was named after a family friend, a concert pianist, who knelt, with her two children before the gas from their oven. She hugged them as the three died. She did this to save them from the ovens she knew awaited them in the camps. I am so honored to bear her name. Her legacy is a part of what motivates me to occupy my ruin of a body and soul.

    My grandmother, spoiled and full of hate from being snatched from a promising future as an Olympic swimmer, held herself from my grandfather who took her from that dark place, to wyoming. He worked hard in the oil industry every day, and came home to not a garden, but her poisoned refusal to open.

    In his rage, he began molesting his daughter, my aunt. My grandmother caught them one day, entwined in sickness, and did nothing but deny what she saw. Years later my grandfather began molesting my sister and I, as babies. He even filmed it.

    No member of my family stopped him when the abuse surfaced.
    They had too much to protect, and my grandmother was always ready to use her legacy as a holocaust survivor to guilt everyone into silence and complicity.

    Her silence sealed my doom.
    And that of my sister.

    My family rushed to cover up this blight, they had too much wealth and prosperity to protect. My aunt’s husband had his own secrets to protect, and steered this sad conspiracy.

    That conspiracy resulted in him never being held responsible for what he did to my aunt, her daughter (my cousin), me, my sister, and who knows how many others.

    When I was 26, the trauma of being plowed like a field by my grandfather from birth came up, all at once, after years of zen meditation, at a sesshin. My mind ripped away like a tarp in a high wind. It never returned. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. As good a name for poison as any. I walked through 10 years of psychosis, keeping my mouth shut about what my mind was doing. Before my break I was headed for a full ride art scholarship to the best graduate school in my field of study. When I lost my mind, I could not graduate, and all those years of hard work didn’t even result in a bachelor degree. The rest of my “professional” life has consisted of being a failed janitor and house cleaner. My family has continued the coverup of the abuse to this day. Their wealth and the desire to protect it keeps the poison, the lies, the secrecy flowing.

    Unable to support myself after I lost my mind I turned to prostitution. I hated and feared men, but, could not keep that hatred or fear. Each man who walked through my “door” was so full of pain, need and fear, I lost my own fear of men in giving them what they needed. I gave them all with respect, love and honesty I was never given. I received the same back. I lost my fear of men, and gained understanding of what had caused my grandfather to kill me. I do not hate women, but I hate the poison they cause with their fear.

    My family hates me, I am a walking reminder of the sickness in our family. They want this sickness to go away, and they think if I go away they can, finally forget their cowardice.

    I refuse.
    I will not GO AWAY.
    I will stay here as long as it takes to chase away that poison of fear with love
    And my broken life.

    The koan
    of schizophrenia has not been solved by me, or by those who are not real healers.
    The mental health industry.

    I hope they read this, I hope it helps them solve this koan.

    I only know this…
    War needs to end.
    The wars we engage in as countries.
    The war men and women engage in.

    I hope the incredible minds that visit this website and blog on it can sift through the shards of people we are…

    And finally, meet Hippocrates
    Stare him in the face,
    And finally keep the oath he
    In his genius

    Gave birth to.


    Wow Schizoeffective, just wow. I can not even begin to imagine how such events have hurt you. I know from my pain over the events I have been describing, that if I had been subjected to such things I simply would not have survived. I am weak, fragile, and unable to take what has been thrown at me. I have had an expectation that people will perform their duties, as I would mine. With diligence, honesty and fairness. This doesn’t allow a manipulation of outcomes though, so they use methods that are deceptive and harmful to others.

    I can’t agree with you more when you write “not for us, but for those who come after us”. This is another value I hold dear.

    My delusion of love for the 6 years I spent with my wife should have been when I was detained and medicated. No person should be allowed to be that happy. How could I possibly believe that someone could be that perfect for me. She was human and made a mistake, and then further mistakes trying to ensure that I didn’t find out about that mistake. Did she want me to continue with my delusion of love? Cover her imperfection from me so that my delusion wasn’t shattered or cracked? because she was fully aware of how I felt about her.

    I am told I should “move on” or “find someone else”. Good advice, and it would help in healing for most I’m sure. I have a couple of people trying to help me. And I keep trying to tell them “You don’t know what I’ve lost”. I’ve questioned this at times and thought, no you’re wrong, they have felt love, and lost. All sorts of tragedies happen to others everyday. But this I know, they really don’t know what I’ve lost, how could they. They didn’t know me before these events, and see only the broken man before them. How sad I feel that it took these events to meet these good people who have it in their hearts to help.

    The ugly truth is that sometimes there is no help. I held it in my hands for a moment, and now it’s gone, never to return.

    There is a deception at work here though. Am I heading into the abyss as a result of the loss of my relationship? It may look and sound that way on the surface. But it’s not. The death blows were delivered by Mental Health Services.

    I’m going to use another analogy to try and tease this out. If I have difficulty breathing I go to a doctor and he does some tests. He thinks its my heart and sends me to a cardiologist, who also does some tests, and tells me he needs to operate. The operation is explained to me, and I give my consent. It is the case that this consent is given because he is going to need to cut my chest open and will do damage first before he can do good to heal me. The damage is done to access the heart, operation performed, and the wound stitched up to heal. I recover and my life is better than before, and I will likely live longer.

    Lets compare this to a mental health intervention. My chest was opened up before I even went to see the doctor (deprived of my liberty). The damage was done before I even gave consent (involuntarily detained), I was simply ripped out of my bed and delivered to the operating table (with my legs amputated so that my heart didn’t have to work so hard). The surgeon (psychiatrist) looked into the wound and said, “but there is nothing wrong with this man”. So I was wheeled out to the car park with my chest still wide open and dumped. Bleeding badly I manage to make my way home and have no inclination to ask the people who did this to help repair their damage. Thanks for your help.

    Can anyone see why they are having trouble helping people?

    It’s not like we don’t know what happens to people when they are incarcerated when they have committed no crime. There is ample evidence of what happens. It is traumatic, and does extreme damage to their minds. And this is how the process of mental health intervention starts. And then after they have done this damage to a persons mind, they really don’t know how to repair it anyway. Imagine the cardiologist opening up your chest and then not knowing what to do. I mean he knows there is a problem, but looking at it isn’t really going to help is it?

    You know I had heard the saying about a ‘broken heart’ so many times. I honestly thought that it was just words, and referred to that sad feeling you get when you lose love. It not. You can actually feel your heart break. It is a physical thing. The words that were spoken cause a feeling like someone had plunged a fist into my chest and squeezed my heart, and I let out a breath like I was winded. It was a sound that I just can’t recall ever making before or since. Learn something new every day huh?

    ranting again aren’t I lol. I have received a letter from the law cetre today, and i’ll post about the information contained in a little while.


    schizoeffective-I’m glad you’re here sharing with us. Thank you for your kind thoughts…I’m glad for your company.

    boans…funny how my heart feels broken now, too. In the same exact way as when I was in realtionship with my ex…only it’s my kids, this time. I had so hoped that I would be reunited with them when they became adults.

    It’s fairly recent for you still…rooting for you from Northern Cali…:)


    You are not weak.
    You are NOT Fragile.

    You are a bull, who has somehow, refused to destroy the china shop. Who, despite being baited beyond human endurance, is quietly, with love, withdrawing.

    Trust that humility.
    Trust your quiet strength.
    Without that strength I would not have had the balls to tell my story.

    I can’t ever repay you for that.
    My whole body is shaking
    Just typing these words.

    I know it’s hard to believe, but all that you have experienced is helping us.

    Stay strong.
    Stay yourself.

    Mad respect,

    It’s still raining here, in the high Mountain desert.
    It never rains like this in August.

    If you don’t think that speaking your truth plays a part in that…

    You would be

    Keep fighting the good fight.
    You are not alone.

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