Thursday, June 24, 2021

CuriousTerri

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 59 total)
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  • in reply to: Defining Anti-Psychiatry #68153
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Hello Mr Blankenship,

    I respect what you say. It shows such clarity, it is almost painful. I have slowing been trying to glean understanding from a book you remind me of titled “The Path of Individual Liberation”. The wall I hit it trying to wrap my mind around Anti-Psychiatry I hit last spring seems insurmountable. The only way I have found to survive has been to “cooperate with the enemy”. I suppose if I would truly see it that way, I may be able to move forward. How would a person in Auschwitz free themselves? It must like the little boy that was made to sit in the corner as punishment. He said to himself, “I may sitting on the outside, but I’m standing on the inside.” So is that Anti-Psychiatry is? I looked at the picture of my sister on a “fake” FB page set up for her. It is quite a contrast to the one before she was deemed SZ during Vietnam. She has been a vegetable for 11 years as a result of the “rare” oops of Haldol.

    I keep hearing the people here that said it may help me to move forward by fighting back. To start I can only rely on the bit of my mind or sanity to understand what I’m fighting. I would love to believe the comparison I gave of being in Auschwitz prison camp as as extreme, paranoid thought, however it does not feel that way to me. It actually feels much worse, if truth be told. At least Hilter was deemed a “bad” person.

    Once again, my question is do I have any understand of what the Anti-Psychiatry movement is about? Do you simply want me to push the idea that the must be a physical brain problem to be considered a condition? Thus, if a fire breathing dragon did walk into your living room that would prove there are such.

    I am not sure it matters whether or not the mythical exists. A person stoned stoned on acid sees a real live dragon. so what? Science proves and disproves theories al the time. Is time travel possible? Is the earth is flat or round? Facts are not always truth.

    I know psychiatry is a house of cards, however I am not sure why.

    teresa

    in reply to: i am ashamed #68150
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    littleturtle, Are you ashamed and hiding because you did something wrong? or because of the mood disorder? Talking is important, however be watchful of who you talk to.

    teresa

    in reply to: crud #67700
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Hi Jonmoore357,

    I hear you loud and clear. I have found the harder I try to change or “get out of Saddness” the deeper I go. It is like quicksand. I think about this saying “Don’t quit, surrender.” As long as I feel something is wrong with me, I fight a losing battle. Today I choice to surrender to this thing called my life. Yes, it does suck, however it doesn’t such less by trying to “make it better” or “change”.

    I was given the SZ label also. What that means does not matter to me. What matters is how I see myself. Yes, I get a check due to that, too. It is our choice how to use that money and time to be the most profitable. I, too, have had a person say “I can’t believe anyone in the government approved you for disability!”, while another person would see be on a bad day said “You are not the person I married, I am not going to live with someone like you.”

    The more I read and learn, I see it is the struggling that causes me to suffer. I struggle to be “normal”. I struggle to “hold a job”. I struggle to “be accepted by friends”. I struggle to “find the cure”. What if rather that struggling we make friends with ourselves? What if we appreciate that we have minds that are worth getting to know? Who says we are insane? I think I am basically sane. I will admit I do not always function in that sanity. It is there, though.

    You are basically a sane, kind, good person. It is simply a matter of you caring about yourself. Be kind and loving to you. I will do the same. I have faith when we do that we will draw loving, kind people into our lives.

    in reply to: One Cause of Psychosis or Brain Imbalance #67679
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    kalinda, I read most of what you wrote. I apologize I was not able to read all. I did want to address the diagnosis you received. In the end, I feel we are given an ability to recognize what resonates as truth for us. My teacher says “Of the two wisdoms, let yours be the final.” Therefore, if that issue with your brain resonates as what is going on with your body, you are the only one who can decide that. I do not care how many degrees a professional has.

    In addition, you have the wisdom in yourself to find the cure. You may need some help from others to unveil that knowledge and wisdom though.

    As to what is going on with your dad. True freedom is in your mind.

    t

    in reply to: why is it so hard to be around mentally ill people? #67674
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    since there is no such thing as “mentally ill people” your reference to the neglect is irrelevant. What is not understood by some needs pity, labels, and some faulty explanation.

    Being one of those labeled “mentally ill”, it is important to speak truth whenever possible. I also think all of us must stand together on this point.

    As long as we buy into the delusion of “mental illness” we are fighting a losing battle. How can anyone cure something that doesn’t exist?

    t

    in reply to: Rock & Hard Place #67673
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Thanks uprising. Now I suppose it is to find that purpose. I’ve been hearing that a lot lately. I think finding/knowing myself will reveal it. It is tough because I do not like what I see at times. Mostly I judge that based not the “norm” or “acceptable”.

    It sure is helpful to know I’m not alone.

    t

    in reply to: john oliver mental health #67456
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Frank,

    Wow, I can’t believe I thought this video was good….at first. I keep vacillating between knowing I’m Mad (appropriately traumatized by horrific abuse) and well perhaps I was just born effective (mentally ill), thus “brought this on myself”.

    All I know is I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Everyone around me seems to be just a pissed I’m here, but well I am. “They” would like to simplify it into taking a little pill and be socially acceptable. Never mentioning that, by the way, that pill will make us happy, but any sanity you might have had will be completely annihilated.

    t

    in reply to: Suicide and The Living Book #67455
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Hello 9,

    I happened on your post on the 22nd. I was researching the emotional affect of the Solstice. I was quite agitated and noticed many around me were. I did not know it was to happen at 2 AM the next morning. I do not think the 23rd simply came and went.

    In addition, I am a trained Christian missionary/prophet. I served in the Los Angeles streets. The teamed I worked with in LA taught me much regarding witchcraft. While I realize I am nothing special (quite the contrary), I can not deny the overwhelming evidence in the connection between psychiatry and evil forces.

    Sadly I bought the deception that my spirituality was a symptom of SZ for 15 long, painful years.

    I feel you and I may not truly understand the visions or any “paranormal” events in our lives to keep us humble. Spiritual pride is a extremely destructive thing to deal with.

    t

    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Get to know yourself very, very intimately. You may read “When Things Fall Apart” by Pema Chodron. Until we know our own minds, it is difficult to open to understand others.

    Teresa

    in reply to: Why does MIA honor the voices of SHRINKS? #62899
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Julie,

    I was homeless on the streets of LA for 6 years. The only reason I ever got off the streets was giving in to the “suggested” psyche professionals. I lived in a home with siblings that were abused by the shrinks. I knew that was a wrong way to go. so I spent 15 years finding out for myself that yes it is as bad as I thought as a child in the 60’s. Many Americans try to say it’s better now. WRONG! It’s just hidden better.

    In my defense, one of the many things that happened before I succum to the pressure was losing my children to the state of CA. Any way, another story for another time.

    My point is there are worse things than homelessness and death. In no way do I make light of your situation. I have just begun to embrace the freedom in “nothing left to lose”.

    You are right on about the using your voice, though. No matter what happens you can not be silenced.

    What I hear you saying is the torment and fear from the abuse has you. In addition, the very ones set in place to “help” you ingrained that fear and torment in you. Therefore, as I see you, you must focus on freeing yourself of the fear & torment. May I recommend studying some sort of warfare strategy.

    You have accomplished so much and I do not mean to insult you in any way. These past two years I have just begun to see how much I let others control my life. There is much research out there about “change your mind and you can change your life” (Loise L Hay, Chopra, The Secret, Pema Chodron, et al) One thing they all have in common is the question “Who’s in control here?” It’s my life. I want it back.

    I’m not also working through “The Art of War”. Most spiritual teachings I’ve studied also add the fight over our “soul”. One teacher says that the soul is made up our mind, will, and emotions. That makes sense to me.

    I will end on this note. Not matter what the shrinks take away from me they can not destroy Truth. I know I went head to head with black magic in LA. Not trying to get all “Stephen King” on you. Just saying.

    in reply to: Why does MIA honor the voices of SHRINKS? #62864
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Guess, I get that. Problem is most people I meet say my life is “hard to believe” and even “non-believable”. I lived it and know for a fact it is non-fiction. Sounds like you might understand that. Seems I do remember one person telling me non-fiction is often more fantastic than fiction.

    As I said many have begged me to write my auto-biography. My sis says she wants to do my memoir. My son writes movies. He will write the script for movie.

    Honestly, I could care less. I just feel driven to pay some Karmic Debt. It’s like I feel I must justify my existence. You know like saying “I’m sorry World that I’m here. I know I’m some cosmic screw up, but well here I am.”

    t

    in reply to: Why does MIA honor the voices of SHRINKS? #62862
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Oh I see. Glad to hear it.

    As for the reflector thing. I wouldn’t say I’m a cyclist per se, but I ride for transportation. I also hike in hunters territory, thus understand the need for reflective gear. The point I see is to be simple and bounce off their own light or power.

    Let the book design cover stir the “guilty” conscious. Something subtle, like a reference to being “5 pointed” by an authority. I hear the five point, forced truth method is used in Russia by their government. You probably know more than me.

    Any way, food for thought. Tom Clancy is known to do extensive research before writing his “fiction” novels. Isn’t that a clever way to hide from….whomever. “Well, it’s just a novel” says Clancy. “I had no idea it might be real!” (Ad lib on my part….I do not know if he says that)

    t

    in reply to: Why does MIA honor the voices of SHRINKS? #62860
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Julie,

    please don’t disappear. Laura already doesn’t care for me not this forum. I don’t care. what are they going to do. close down my account? I already lost contact with the Canadian trying to help me start another website from here with a more open discussion forum. The pressure got to be too much. He needed to back off, like all of us dealing with this for 20 to 30 years.

    I also can not sleep and refuse to go back to the quacks for drugs. Please, please keep in contact. You are welcome to use [email protected] to share your voice with me if you would like.

    Recently I have been into “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose…”

    Oh also my famous personal quote is “sand, sand, and sand….and you are going to scare me with sand” from the Israelites in the desert for 40 years.

    Don’t let those idiots trap you in a bluff of fear. It is true “There is nothing to fear, but fear itself”

    in reply to: Why does MIA honor the voices of SHRINKS? #62550
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Hi Julie,

    It has been so long since I’ve been on the forums I was surprised I received an email notice on your message. It has inspired me greatly. The main reason I had to back off was due to my rage at the level of ignorance those supposedly “in the know” display. I use ignorance in the true meaning. If one does not know, they just don’t. I just ask that they please not tell me they do know when you don’t, though! Ah, and when one is ignorant of their own lack of understanding….ASK!

    I do not know if you or I have crossed paths here before. I will be 56 in a couple weeks and recently watched a horrific outcome at the death of a good friend. Her life and story are gone forever. She was only 58.

    Many, many, many people have begged me to write my story. Quite honestly, when one is brought into my life to do a memoir they may do it. Perhaps when I’m 80. For now, I desire to live my life. It will happen.

    You inspire me because not only do we need to use our voice for ourselves, however others must hear us. Specifically, I needed to hear you. I will, for now, keep speaking my truth to those who cross my path.

    I look forward to learning more of you. Thank You.

    t

    in reply to: I'm new here, my story #56881
    CuriousTerri
    Participant

    Hey bogdevil,

    There is so much power in having nothing to lose. Not in a bad way, however in the sense of no longer being driven by the fear. I am doing my best now to get my focus off what I can’t change. The main thing being “marked” and “scared” for life.

    I love that you said you are an extrovert person. Me too. I am also quite a recluse, too….LOL In the end, being true to who I am seems the best I can do. I am neither proud nor ashamed.

    some times I’m so sad and angry it scares the heck out of me. I mean what if I really act on that anger. All I know is that when I attempt to ignore it, I get worse. Thus, I accept, look at, and embrace that part of me.

    Get to know you and do not let anyone define you.

    t

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 59 total)