Mosquito Mind by Adele Leahy

I question am I the only one?

With an unkind mosquito mind.

My mental health is a sham.

As I abhor who I am.

My pseudo happiness, pretending I am blessed.

Embalming my soul in binging alcohol.

Over pleasing beyond reason.

You must love me, as I do not.

My blindness to my innate goodness is unsustainable.

I need to begin to feel well.

I have had a trillion thoughts.

Too many, where sanity was sought.

Is this the thought to undo my existence?

Am I not worth more than this moment spent.

Considering self annihilation.

Lacking self compassion and patience.

I deserve my life, the joy and the strife.

I can overcome my mind squall.

By seeking help, challenging it all.

I am better than this, can I give myself a soul kiss.

I have too much to give, but I have to forgive

Myself and my fragility,times when it is so hard being me.

I will try to transmute my pain into peace

To sit with my emotions, surrender and release.

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My Mosquito Mind describes the sound of my thoughts that buzz too often and interfere with my peace of mind. I wrote it to help others.

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Mad in America hosts blogs by a diverse group of writers. These posts are designed to serve as a public forum for a discussion—broadly speaking—of psychiatry and its treatments. The opinions expressed are the writers’ own.