F.O.M.H. by illexotic

Listen to “F.O.M.H.”:

 

I wrote this poem when I was struggling with my mental health in college on the back of a quiz I didn’t take because my voices were too loud to focus, but my English teacher was trying to be supportive and encourage me to attend class even if I did not feel well enough to participate. Another time when my mental health was suffering, I started to write the beat, then a few months later I found the old quiz in some stuff and they came together after a few years while in quarantine. My partner helped in the music creation and I would say while not very palatable for the average listener, it is something I’m very proud of. I think it really is the best example of how uncomfortable it feels to exist while having low mental health and experiencing voices, visions, altered states etc. People don’t generally enjoy it or understand it compared to our other music, but it was something that was important to me as an artist to release for myself. I would love if someone other than myself appreciated it for once! (That last sentence is said with humor) Thank you!

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Corinita Reyes is one half of the music producer/DJ duo illexotic. They have been experiencing voices, visions and altered states since the age of ten and learned how to navigate these heavy experiences with little to no support for a long time. Special Messages groups saved her life at the age of 26, when she finally found out there were other people with similar experiences and they were not alone. They now see it as a gift rather than a sickness and a necessary spiritual experience that has been essential to shaping how they move about the world and even how they treat themselves, their work and their goals and aspirations. illexotic has been making music since 2018 and more recently began DJing in clubs and raves in San Francisco, CA and beyond. She seeks to champion peer support in the form of community and support as an alternative to psychiatry and forced treatment. Her music remains as her main vehicle for advocacy, outside the Special Messages group she co-facilitates.

Poet’s Instagram: @illexotic

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Mad in America hosts blogs by a diverse group of writers. These posts are designed to serve as a public forum for a discussion—broadly speaking—of psychiatry and its treatments. The opinions expressed are the writers’ own.

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