Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Comments by flyboykjc

Showing 6 of 6 comments.

  • Thanks Bradford-
    No Input’s lame, I appreciate hearing Others’ experiences/ opinions!
    Still working through some misconceptions of my own, and making a few friends along the way: one guy (suffering from Depression) was near-seperating from his wife (She was having trouble/frustrated not being-able to help/ understand His issues), I told him to “help her understand You/Your Expectations and Perceptions”; then to understand Hers. Don’t lose a priceless source of Support (and of-course his wife) over Poor Communication: he said he’d not thought of-It That way.
    So, everything in Baby Steps and helping others too, It’s coming together slowly.
    From the PTSD Group I’ve joined, I’m working on some ideas to help both Military and Civillian Sufferers; and from a show about Guam/ALS/Blue-Green Algae, I’m looking into some theories That may help.
    Thanks again Bradford: keeping giving your Input (not lame): if It helps only One, it’s worth it.

  • Hi Steve-
    I agree: and watched my partner (over 10 years) go from a determined, full-of-life, truly caring soul to a crumpled mass.
    He’d had a Spinal Fusion in 2015 and was assigned a Pain Mgt. Doctor; Some think having a “listens to everything I say doctor”, but sometimes too-much-good can be bad.
    She’d had him on Fentanyl Patches/Oxycodone…then Clonazepam (Anxiety) and Trazadone (sleep): the Fentanyl was as-high as 200mcg/48hrs; Oxy 40mg/day. The Clonazepam and Trazadone Were never increased (over almost 10 years); and a year before he completed suicide in front of me, his doctor “moved away) mysteriously. (I’ve found no trace of Her); her replacement immediately wanted to drop the Doses for all her patients. (impression is, she had everyone on very high doses). And (in Florida), doctors/pharmacies were already uneasy because-of the Pill Mill Problem.
    She was a nice lady, but never offered Alternatives! Several months before he Completed, I noticed Symptoms similar to Benzo Withdrawal and told his doctor: nothing done about It.
    *Personally, I think if any doctor were to prescribe something as-nasty as Benzos, a mental evaluation/monitoring should be mandatory!
    I was his sole caregiver (no support), his family never bothered; he had fear/distrust issues from past experiences, so even suggesting Help w/out alarming him was tricky; and the few doctors he did see, well: they did more bad than good…
    The pain/stresses/etc. triggered PTSD from physical Child Abuse; though we could never get any diagnosis, in the final 8ish months he changed drastically/ quickly: similar to D.I.D. (long story).
    Honestly Steve; fighting along-side him so long (my mind not as “clouded”): I almost sympathized with his decision. I asked myself (in the brief moment before he pulled the trigger) “does he want me to stop him…should I?”
    I’ve lost everything Steve; he was my soulmate; we had noone: even his mom refused to help intervene; had called me her Adopted Son: now, After: noone has heard of me and thinks she’s the world’s greatest mom…if only they knew.
    Florida had just started recognizing Civil Unions, but he was too far along (him and covering both our jobs were my concerns): That Night, the police not only lied about doing Resuscitation, but treated me no better than a friend/roommate…left me there, alone, w/out mentioning I had to clean-up! They left a blood trail thru the house; (to me) let him bleed to death: the “stain” on the mattress bigger than his body. I was doing Resuscitation: I saw how much blood was coming from his mouth…had to clear-It: they just let him bleed!
    Then, stepping barefooted on a piece of his scalp? just as I got the “courage/insanity?” to start cleaning the bed.
    Harassment from our boss/job & home loss/relocating/ “fighting” the Demon House (bad anxiety) for three months (alone again) to clear-It…eventually having to abandon It: I’m normally a level-minded person; the house had me so ?? I felt as-though It were alive, trying to keep me there.
    Now…fifteen months later: no Social Support; have been fighting the VA for any help.
    Their psychiatrist has scorned-me for my ADHD Symptims (lost meds just-After); made biased HIV remarks when I mentioned his Hypervigilance/Startled Reactions…even told her about the Child Abuse. She said (loudly) “sounds like HIV! Did he have It…do you? (I’m sure most if the office heard her), I’d just had blood tests done @1 1/2 weeks before (VA), my Negative Results were in my notes she’d accessed I have never found anything saying Hypervigilance/Startled Reactions are symptoms of HIV
    They’ve told me “I can’t have PTSD unless the trauma happened directly to-me….
    In-response to my complaints about their inefficient procedures, and That I’d think the priority (even of the famed Crisis Line) would be to prevent a person from becoming suicidal, not wait until They are (if you say you’re not, your “priority” drops to the VA’s normal inefficient/22-a-day-saves-money procedures); “you could always say you’re suicidal if you want a faster response” Was their reply.
    I have never said I was, just making a point: but am told This! Unbelievable!
    So….no Steve, no help in 15 months. She tried to throw Zolift at me, but has offered No Other help.
    I agree with what was-said above Steve; I see all the (I call It) Socratic Smoke & Mirrors…
    All the garbage they’d had my partner on, never any Alternatives..?
    My Reply, Steve, was a sarcastic remark about the Comment above my Reply:
    – I encourage you to seek medical arguments steeped in medical journal peer reviewed literature rather than medical essays filed with opinion and published as books.-
    And, thanks for the compliment, Steve: I’m no professional; I have been trying to find the answers I can’t get from the VA.
    Surviving…..existing, 15 months (already an Overthinker/with ADHD/INTP/deep insight/empathy…..All subjective, but what isn’t?
    I agree Steve…just wording my thoughts is tricky.
    Take Care-

  • Thank you! BC-
    Well said; you don’t buy a car w/out knowing how it runs; or let your daughter go on her first date without some Perception of her date.
    In the Air Force (travelling to other countries) we were taught how to communicate That what’s said is perceived properly.
    Any Therapy should start with how the patient perceives It/Life: given your entire life can contribute.
    Every Creation has a Creator.
    And (it seems) if a patient were intelligent/ insightful/etc.; well, We’re more aware than a “normal/usual” patient: you have to be prepared for such things.

  • So (as a patient) What’s our best treatment option(s)?
    I already deal with the VA (a mess in-itself); it seems if a person’s intelligent/insightful/etc., some providers aren’t prepared to deal with us. I see the Socratic Smoke & Mirror Tricks-used; from experience as a sole caregiver (and empathy) How long term use of meds can destroy a person. Now (for myself-wtnessing a suicide/multiple associated-losses and trauma) needing help to recover.
    Who do we turn to, what Therapy(ies) should we seek?
    It’s been 15 months now, most I can manage is numbing-myself; so discouraged/almost-afraid (the VA’s done more harm than good); no Social Support: I’d “cure” myself if I could, but there are so many discrepancies, who/how can a person know what’s right?