Thursday, February 9, 2023

Comments by Andri Pretorius

Showing 9 of 9 comments.

  • Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, Barbara (and someone else, hidden one, and. I’m so sorry about what has happened and the lack of support you’re experiencing. It’s not fair how you’ve been treated and I agree, without support, most of the other things we do to improve our health and wellbeing, won’t last or necessarily even be helpful. Strong connections with people, affirming ones, are what help us stay well and help us find hope and meaning. I’m glad you found those docs.

  • Thank you for your comment. It seems there is a lot more room for systems to change in order to fit with trauma informed practice so that we can get the right support when we try and ask for help.

    I appreciate your kind words and hope you have found people who understand what you’re talking about without needing to label or diagnose. Someone who will be glad you told them, and can just be with you, even if they don’t know what to say or do straight away.

  • Yes, I guess it was hard to find someone who would listen, in a way that I’d feel truly heard. I think they might have tried. Someone who could listen openly, who would continue to listen, without judgement, even when it turned into metaphorical gibberish, would indeed have been very helpful. Even if they listened, they probably would have needed a mental health system supporting them to be able to act in my best interests. The Finnish open-dialogue approach (which in my understanding is what the mental health system in Finland is largely based on) appeals to me for this reason, but I don’t think it has ‘reached’ New Zealand yet.

    In my relationships, the imago dialogue gives me that same opportunity: a chance to let someone into my world, to see it through my eyes, to touch it, to smell it, to try on my shoes and perhaps even take a few steps; A chance to see my world making sense by validating my emotions and learning something from listening to me. This is a precious gift.

  • I’m not sure they are ‘solutions’ as my worries can still try to take over at night time, but overall my life is very different now compare with what it has been before. Probably dealing with the things that cause worry and managing those is a good start. I found that I had some pretty big things going on and I was unable to successfully use guided meditations or relaxation during those times (although now they work great). I needed to sort my life out basically, and then I was able to sleep better, provided I spent enough time outdoors (ideally getting plenty of sunlight if I could), not using any blue light devices at night time, being active during the day, eating nutritious food, not drinking caffeine or any substance that could keep me awake, engaging in meaningful relationships (with affirming people) and regularly practicing gratitude (through journalling). These are probably the most important things that support my overall well-being. I hope that is helpful and I wish you all the best with supporting your son to find that ‘good space’ in life.

  • Hi kyrani99, my sleep was frequently interrupted by children waking up in the night (which kind of comes with parenting), so I’m not sure this was a symptom. The severe ‘internal’ insomnia started when I started the medication. Second time around, this was also due to my youngest needing medication 3 hourly at night due to asthma and having perhaps overdone things in the weeks prior to this. I could have done something earlier to get a back up so that I could sleep for longer periods of time, and next time round, I won’t hesitate to do so.

    I now often use meditation to either relax or get off to sleep if I can’t and it does work for me.

  • Randall thank you so much. It is a big deal for our brains (and bodies) when we’re not sleeping well for long periods of time or not at all for a few days. It has taken me quite a bit of effort to relearn how to sleep well naturally and I’m forever putting things in place to maintain sleep hygiene.

  • Thank you for commenting. I am glad parents can relate to this. I am a much more present mother since making raising children my primary focus and it sure seems to be an undervalued job in mainstream western society. It is a shame that people who aren’t harming anyone, are put in hospital, for experiencing benign things. It still don’t get how people are expected to make a recovery there, as being in our own environments, with the right support, makes a lot more sense. Thank you for the encouragement toward healing. I love learning from those who use the language of enlightenment and spirituality.

  • On reflection, the initial decision to prescribe an antidepressant seems bizarre as I was mainly experiencing fatigue (and I was clearly sleep deprived). I also did not prefer this as the solution. I haven’t thought of putting it as clearly as you have, so I feel validated by your comment that further additions of neuroleptics, and no doubt, the hospital environment, were more likely causing my misery and adverse reactions.