Sunday, June 26, 2022

Comments by Angela1964

Showing 2 of 2 comments.

  • My heart goes out to you dear melee….we are all in the same boat here and it is so very hard to let go and not know what to do next. All the words of love and encouragement will not bring our babies back but it does soothe the pain somewhat to know that others are going through the same pain.
    I am sending you much Love and Healing on your journey…..watch for little signs….my son visits me every day. He was 26 and left us 6 weeks ago on our Canadian Thanksgiving. It will never be the same again. Stay strong and know that you are not alone in this. ((((HUGS))))) Angela

  • Dear Maria, Elana and Luisa, and all other moms who lost a child….
    your stories made me cry because I too lost my son at age 26 to suicide only 6 weeks ago. He hanged himself only hours before I was supposed to pick him up for a long road trip for Thanksgiving to be with his brother and wife. We never left town….no one saw it coming as he was his usual happy go lucky only hours before, having a few beers with his best friend. But he was on antidepressants and carelessly mixed it with alcohol and pot and as to our horror we found out later, he also got into cocaine and ecstasy and mushrooms. No one knew. I am soooo heart broken, I cant eat, I cant sleep. I beat myself up with guilt, telling myself I was a shitty mom, saying to myself I could have saved him if only I knew….the odd time I get mad at him for about a minute or two because of all the broken hearts he left behind. He was the kindest, happiest, most caring young man, always making sure everyone around him was happy, no matter how dark it was inside his heart.

    Please please tell me how do I get through this? Is there even a “Getting through this or getting over this?”

    Maria, I know what you mean about some peoples remarks….my sweet co workers who always hug me and laugh and joke, went silent and cold, no hugs. I felt like saying: ” Its ok. Suicide is not contagious you know? I could REALLY use a big hug right now” But people dont know how to react to a suicide death.

    I had another friend text me only 2 days after the funeral asking me if I was back at work and if I could possibly pray for her critically ill step son. I felt like texting back ” Are you F%@$ -ing kidding me????” I know everyone means well….but no one really knows what to do with the Mom of the suicide son.

    Thank god I do have 3 awesome friends that have been my rock so far. Plus I still have 2 sons ( 24 and 26) who are my rock and I am theirs. How long did it take for you moms to be able to go back to work? How long should I give myself? There is just no ” operators manual” out there for this, or is there?

    Thank you Maria so much for your website. It has helped me soooo much! Blessings and much much Healing and Peace to you all and your families xoxo