Monday, November 28, 2022

Comments by Cortlea

Showing 1 of 1 comments.

  • Thank you so much for sharing this incredible story. I’m so, so, so glad you found your way out of this nightmare.

    I have been through a number of severe traumas in my life, but literally the ONLY thing I’ve been through that I would be confident labeling Hell on Earth is akathisia. I am 100% not using Hell on Earth in a metaphorical way. I truly believe if such a thing as hell exists, it is akathisia. In all my bouts with anti-psychotic med induced akathisia, I felt like a demon lived in me and I needed an exorcism. My attempts at tapering off an antipsychotic have thus far been unsuccessful because of the agony of akathisia whenever I try to taper down or go off of it.

    I am currently in the process of yet another attempt at tapering off of this antipsychotic. The last attempt I made, about 2 years ago, resulted in such severe akathisia that I made a pillow fort in the corner of my bedroom so I could just kick and punch and writhe against all the soft pillows. My doctor and I tried everything to control it–Parkinson’s meds (didn’t work), Calm (the magnesium powder, which worked a couple of days but then wreaked havoc on my digestive system), CBD (didn’t work at all), Gabapentin (no-go), and benzos (didn’t work, and also didn’t really wanna get trapped in THAT cycle on top of the antipsychotic insanity). By the time I was having audio hallucinations and hearing flocks of birds in my house that weren’t there, due to withdrawal-induced psychosis, I gave up. It was awful beyond belief.

    This doctor was well-intentioned and genuinely did try to work with me on controlling the akathisia, BUT–he also tried to convince me the akathisia was a symptom of bipolar, not a symptom of antipsychotic withdrawal. I knew better. I knew better! I’ve NEVER had akathisia before going on psychotropic meds.

    So yeah, I gave up finally. But I didn’t give up hope, and I’m trying to taper off again! I am experiencing mild akathisia this time, but not to the unbearable point it was last time. I mostly just have to move my body a lot, but the hellish sensation of inner restlessness, that you can’t even describe to someone who has never experienced it, has been absent so far–fingers crossed. I’m cautiously optimistic! Thank you again for sharing this amazing story. So glad you prevailed.