Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Comments by malo

Showing 1 of 1 comments.

  • Your courage & integrity is admirable!
    Three years ago i experienced the best that the NZ emergency mental health services can offer.
    Most aspects of that system made my situation worse & i feel lucky that i’m still alive despite it.
    I had a psychiatrist tell me confidentially at the time, that he felt the system had caused a number of unnecessary deaths here. [And yes this was outside normal bounds of client – doctor relationship, but he was clearly as frustrated as i was]

    I was a successful, young, wealthy, self-employed woman. I experienced multiple extreme events within a short period of time, that involved two of my closest family killed, losing all my assets in a corrupt big business take-over, having my reputation publicly & unfairly trashed, and having to fight illegal actions on behalf of the police. I lost my whole world & my trust in our civic system & culture in one hit.
    Unsurprisingly, i was extremely traumatised & got diagnosed with chronic reactive depression & PTSD & was suicidal.

    The first step in our system in that situation is diagnoses by a crisis psychiatrist. I requested my case notes down the track, & she had misunderstood my whole situation & mis-diagnosed me, even though i had been very clear about telling her what happened. They prescribed me hefty anti-depressants. The medication made me into a complete zombie. My G.P told me this is actually the strategy – that if you can’t think & you can barely move, you’re less likely to do yourself harm.
    I got very frustrated with being a zombie after about a month, & insisted to my G.P i try other types of anti-depressants. They all had the same result over about 3 months. My G.P & psychiatrist [who i respect] both told me that it is standard practice to take that dose for about 3 years after extreme trauma. I hated all the side effects & they felt like they were doing more harm than good, so i stopped. My G.P firmly believes depression is a chemical imbalance & so the treatment should be chemical. Both doctors put a lot of pressure on me when i refused to take more anti-depressants
    I believed my problem was grief, along with having my entire financial position & understanding of the world destroyed. Protecting my very low energy levels became the most important thing to me, as with no energy i could take no positive steps to help myself.
    I also felt that talking to someone with a neutral & experienced understanding was the most helpful thing i could do. I was lucky to get 14 x one hour weekly sessions with a psychiatrist, who works a lot in the criminal system & had seen a lot of injustice from the system.
    Talk therapy was much more helpful than medication. Having someone to validate what had happened to me, which was outside my known world at the time.
    At the end of these sessions, my psychiatrist told me he had never had a patient heal so well, & so quickly, and that the normal diagnoses was never really to heal fully, for someone who was in the extreme state of distress that i started in. He told me he really had no idea what had worked in my case, especially given i wasn’t taking anti-depressants. He was very interested in trying to work out what had worked with me, to try to help his other patients.
    I’m aware that one of the things that helped me re-build a solid foundation, was a serious study of astrology at the same time [given i had time to spare!]. Learning a system that gives profound insight into an individual, why we are here, and the timing & reason for events in the outer world, opened up a depth of understanding that changed my perspective substantially.

    If my experience can be of any help to anyone else, i’m happy to share