I am now trying to figure out if I experienced a hypomanic episode due to a latent Bipolar 1 disorder or as a result of SSRIs. The aftermath (now) is difficult because I question whether everything I did during this period, all of the good and all of the bad, was a) the result of a serious mental disorder or b) because my pharmacological treatment was poorly managed, or c) a mix of being rational and irrational because of a) or b).
I question a) whether I am seriously ill for life with bipolar disorder, or b) whether this is a one-time thing that happened because an ill-informed resident offered me pharmacological treatment without follow-up.
Mostly, I believe in the latter. However, this article gleaned that there is no way of really knowing the origin of many manias, and that psychiatrists skew more towards the bipolar diagnosis, which has been my case from the get-go.
I can understand this: it is easier for my MDs to offer a new diagnosis rather than saying “I/they made a mistake, I/they should have done better by following-up and assessing whether the SSRI was still necessary, and in the future I/they will/should be more careful with SSRIs because they can have very serious long-term effects and outcomes.”
All of the docs I have seen since have been the same: no, nobody believes me when I question my meds; yes, I am being treated with more intense psychiatric drugs; no, I’m still not being cared for well, I have little follow-up; yes, I think this is wrong and am very uncomfortable with the situation.
Mostly, I think that the system is flawed and my psychiatric care has much to be improved on. But maybe, just maybe, I am seriously ill. Who can say, really? How do I answer these questions? How do I come to terms with the uncertainty?
This article makes me both happy and sad.
I am now trying to figure out if I experienced a hypomanic episode due to a latent Bipolar 1 disorder or as a result of SSRIs. The aftermath (now) is difficult because I question whether everything I did during this period, all of the good and all of the bad, was a) the result of a serious mental disorder or b) because my pharmacological treatment was poorly managed, or c) a mix of being rational and irrational because of a) or b).
I question a) whether I am seriously ill for life with bipolar disorder, or b) whether this is a one-time thing that happened because an ill-informed resident offered me pharmacological treatment without follow-up.
Mostly, I believe in the latter. However, this article gleaned that there is no way of really knowing the origin of many manias, and that psychiatrists skew more towards the bipolar diagnosis, which has been my case from the get-go.
I can understand this: it is easier for my MDs to offer a new diagnosis rather than saying “I/they made a mistake, I/they should have done better by following-up and assessing whether the SSRI was still necessary, and in the future I/they will/should be more careful with SSRIs because they can have very serious long-term effects and outcomes.”
All of the docs I have seen since have been the same: no, nobody believes me when I question my meds; yes, I am being treated with more intense psychiatric drugs; no, I’m still not being cared for well, I have little follow-up; yes, I think this is wrong and am very uncomfortable with the situation.
Mostly, I think that the system is flawed and my psychiatric care has much to be improved on. But maybe, just maybe, I am seriously ill. Who can say, really? How do I answer these questions? How do I come to terms with the uncertainty?