Monday, February 24, 2020

Comments by slimebucket

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  • I am in the middle ground, I believe in mental illness, I just disagree with EVERYTHING that professorial have to say about it, or how to treat it. Doctors say everything will help, when really, they are just EXPERIMENTING on their patients. “try this new medication! I am being given bonuses to give it out and record the side effects!”

    I had an Uncle that became schizophrenic when he hit 18. My grand parents where fooled by their doctor into thinking ELECTRO SHOCK therapy will help. Guess what? It didn’t. just made him worse.

    Doctors keep giving my grandparents different medications for THEIR “mental problems” but they refuse to take any. So far 5 different medications they where told to take have been RECALLED due to causing DEATH.

    I’m not saying all, but most doctors don’t care at all about their patients. They care about their bonuses, and experimenting and finding out new things using patients as human test subjects.

    When I was 3 I was kidnapped. I have memories of being taken around the country for a year, then the SWAT TEAM kicking the door to the motel suite down and rushing in with guns and what not. My step dad and mother kidnapped me, so for years afterwards I had to talk with judges, lawyers, be in court. Things are different now, but back then they actually would bring the child to the court case, and have lawyers question em infront of everyone.

    From then till I was 16 I would wake up every night from night terrors screaming, and my nightmares felt real, and where more like memories than dreams.

    The court couldn’t decide who should get me so I had to grow up with my grand parent who where strict JW. No birthdays, no Christmas, no holidays, no cartoons, no movies, my entertainment was reading the bible.

    I was robbed of my childhood. It has made me really screwed up now. I am 28 and I can’t keep a job, I can’t trust anyone, I can’t make friends, I can’t believe anything or anyone. I have no faith in Government, police, doctors, school systems, the FDA.

    Every night I sleep I wake up knowing my dream was just another repressed memory. I can’t sleep right because when I do it makes me think and remember all my repressed memories, so I always stay up and generally do not like sleeping. Every time I talk to someone repressed memories rush into my head and make me unable to trust the person talking to me. When I am at work and my boss yells at me, it’s like I am a kid again and everything I hated from my childhood I see in my boss, and I can’t control myself.

    Every decision i make, every thought I make is clouded by all the bs from my past and I can’t escape it.

    So now I just smoke huge amounts of Marry J, and empty my head. If I am not high, my head gets so full of repressed memories and sounds, feels and sights from my childhood that I cannot think, do anything productive, and just generally get very very angry at everything…

    Some say I HAVE a mental illness, I just say I am having a bad time dealing with my past