Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Comments by MissPenelope

Showing 34 of 34 comments.

  • I’ve been calling certain people as having the ‘Pox. The Capitalism Pox. You could label those cold psychiatrists with it and see how they like the idea of having something physically wrong with them because of their enviornment. It seems like people want to leave disease, illness, injury behind. I was thinking about calling addiction a “Generational adaption” because of epigenetics. It wasn’t a bad idea years ago. Maybe you don’t have to label your entirely normal reaction to trauma as bad AT ALL. It’s potentially something which allowed you to survive. When it no longer serves you, there should be a relatively loving way to be the way you want to be. How about……
    Coping Patterns
    Repeated Response
    Behavioral Alerts

    Or even some way of showing this person is showing useful evidence something is up with the world.
    Injustice Evidence
    Abuse Notifier

    I’m not sure I’ve hit on all of them but you could just not…not make them sound negative. Because if you get abused…don’t sleep…are lonely…and survive? That’s fucking tough. Whatever way you made it through shouldn’t be labelled as wrong. No one needs a huge dose of regret with a diagnosis.

  • Very well said! I was trying to convey something like this. I’ve only recently learned ways to address emotions that actually solve things and reduce stress. I almost got a cancer diagnosis and looked upset… obviously…Dr. asked if I was ok and I said NO. Immediately asked if I wanted an anti-anxiety medication….for a real problem! It’s actually quite rare I’m finding out that people reliably know ways to relate to difficult emotions. It’s actually pretty easy. Don’t label them as bad and try to feel them accurately. What is your body bothered by exactly? Then decide to do a thing about it now or later. Then the emotion fades away for me. I felt miserable but reacted with relief because it felt relaxing compared to happiness and it disappeared too quickly lol!

  • It’s got to be hard to know right? Many professionals said I was broken forever after my parents divorced, then eventually gave up and said it was my genes and I will pass it on. You can change epigenetics with enviormental factors. You possibly expose a kid to enough loneliness and neglect by interacting mostly with screens that could change them fairly fundamentally. Same things happens with repeated trauma. However I think you could heal from either later with a supportive enviornment. So like it may not be permanent state of affairs. That’s basically what I experienced. I wasn’t Austic diagnosed but they thought about it because I was way off the radar on being able to function in society for quite some time. I was not “neurotypical.” However…I made large changes mostly through luck and perseverance and am solidly recovering and pass as normal if I want to. Normal may not be real but it is an idea you can exhibit in order to not scare strangers. I like having that option. I’ve heard from many fruitcakes that we never stop believing weird things but just get good at faking it. Maybe we shouldn’t. I am honest now if people ask but there were certain aspects of my previous behavior that restricted me in a way I am now glad to be free of.

  • I think I have a weird thing about Autism being now in a very special category that may be ill-defined to me. Do you want it to be a intrinsically to being thing, like the color of my hair that I can’t change unless I dye it for instance? I’m having trouble hearing “you cannot cure Autism” as a phrase because of what happened to me in being bipolar for awhile. Late in my treatment I heard over and over that something has always been off about me and I will never be normal. It was phrased as the chemical imbalance thing, which I’m now sure is garbage.

    I’m not sure the Autistic community is doing themselves a long-term favor by dividing people into segments of “neurotypicals” and not. I’m not sure if it 100% true but I personally much more love the idea that we are all strange in an actual banal way that no one person is really out of place.

    I am pretty sure if you put anyone in isolation and deprive them of sleep you will see the side of them that does not appear typical. That’s a strong indicator that the opposite may exist.

    You put anyone in a loving truly supportive enviornment and they eat, drink and sleep well I strongly suspect behaviors would look different.

    There’s still a lot that’s weird and wonderful about me. I could still be a psychic or do synesthesia art, write poetry…. But I enjoy the freedom not to have to express all of it immediately.

  • Could it be sometimes present as a collection of expressions? Like some mental health “diagnoses” there’s no solid blood test for it right? Maybe sometimes it is an expression of the environment someone is in. It could also not be helped entirely by the removal of devices but probably by the increase in positive social attention. It is possibly not even anything to do with screens but someone really not being cared for. I have an autistic friend and I think he’s super cool but he struggles like anyone else with anxiety. The “fixes” for our struggles may lie in radical acceptance. Weirdly enough removing devices may give parents hope and allow them to act kindly so a kid can grow up without as much stress.

  • Oh I got a great idea I wanted to share just in case I don’t get around to this creative project. I think it would be great if we pointed out the similarities between psychiatry and some religions. As far as I can tell many psychiatrists are super atheistic and may be deeply bothered by the comparison. I think pseudoscience may be giving them too much credit. Doctors also curse patients and don’t realize it (nocebo effects), it’s a very traditional magic thing to do. There’s many things you could point out. I liked the idea of comparing the 15 minute psychiatry visit to confession.

  • Your article moved me to tears, Jessica. It was like reading an alternative version of my life. I had an interest in psychiatry to help children in theory because I wanted to be the highest level expert in my own turmoil and help kids not suffer the way I did. Years later though I was the patient and not the professional. The experience IS traumatizing. I’m still obsessing over a Dr. visit about cancer testing because the Dr. started scaring me and I remember forced treatment and the bruises. I don’t think I can or should re-build that trust in strange authorities with power over my life.

    You commenters gave me a great idea for when I go back in there. I’m not sure anyone in there would video tape
    things, but I might know a way….. I’ve been learning guitar to one day get back in there as an activity person. I figure if I can walk in and sing with all confidence I will be entirely free of what the experience has done to me. I hope things change before I’m good enough at guitar but if psychiatry is still broken by the time I’m healed you can be damn sure I’ll figure out some way to crush it into ash and allow the field to bloom again with compassion at its core. It shouldn’t be my job as an artist but we’ve changed culture before and I think they’ll come to regret abusing creative thinkers.

  • Can I share a Facebook video here? I just saw this and at first thought, oh how funny! Then I realized it’s actually what is happening in psychiatry in a comedy sketch. Thought some of you might enjoy this well-put parody on antidepressants.
    https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156118868352606&id=189882407605

    I was a subset of patients that got bipolar. Super pleasant side effect. /s

  • I was able to do a lot of the alternative practices for healing while medicated and eventually came off of everything. Even an antipsychotic. And a benzo and 2 mood stabilizers. If I could do it anyone could. I went through several failed withdrawals for different reasons and also thought I was stuck forever. I believe the mind and body have a great capacity to heal. But it’s not easy. What worries me is if they eventually admit these meds are terrible and then stop giving them to people. I’m seeing it happen with opiods. I wouldn’t wish the withdrawal process on my worst enemy.

  • Some bipolar meds made me forget my childhood, others definitely confused entire years of my adult life. You could easily chemically remove the experience of childhood entirely with these drugs. I’m never getting clear memories back of my time in and out of hospitals. Nor do I particularly want them. But imagine not being able to remember the important things about yourself growing up…. Basically what makes you…you. Like I hate sugar because I barfed a cake up once. You could very well be taking away their capability of developing an identity. I lost mine while medicated as an adult. But at least I had one to go back to and build on. Why have kids or care for them if you don’t want cool idividuals to develop? This is TERRIBLE. My fiance suggested writing well thought out articles to major publications might help, but that could take years and I know what 1 day can feel like while subject to this inhumane treatment. It’s not remotely fair.

  • Yeah I’ve also discovered medicine as a whole echoes my experience as a psych patient. My fiance was on a blood pressure medication that did literally nothing for him, but rather than try other things they just gave him more and more of it. If I had listened to some advice for cancer I think I could’ve become a regular psych patient again. I know many people made money from me being sick.

  • Thank you for creating and reporting on this survey. I am glad I participated. I went to the hospital in a more depressed state once and it really is the worst. At least when I was manic I could converse with fellow patients, and gain some benefit from a routine. There was nothing there for misery but more of it. I’m curious what people who attempt or were about to attempt would want from an experience….

    I’ve also had panic attacks in hospital-like places because of my experience. Luckily the nightmares have stopped for now. There were some doozies. The trauma is real.

    Love to all. It was nice to hear everyone’s voices.

  • I had a better psychiatrist recently but I’ve had many bad ones. My fiance sat in on one where I told the doctor I was feeling well and he suggested I take more drugs. Specifically one that’s on my chart that I’m allergic to. When I pointed it out he still tried to convince me it was the right idea. This psychiatrist is recognized as the best in the area. I think if there were more Kelly Brognans out there who were willing to put in a lot of effort into actually helping people things might be better. That hasn’t been my experience though. Perhaps if there was an easy guide like the DSM that was actually informative towards recovery and not “treatment” we might get somewhere. A lot of us have given up on subtlety though because people are dying and suffering. There’s a sense of urgency. I once wanted to be a psychiatrist to help unhappy kids like me…but I’ve never met a professional who would know a gentle enough intervention. I really…really just needed a friend, maybe more freedom. Somewhere to belong. But what I didn’t need was someone to tell me something was deeply irreversibly wrong with me. This was all I heard from both psychiatry and psychology. I was malnourished of love and pressured to succeed, but there must be something wrong with my DNA? Why do this to a person?

  • Weirdly enough this modern fake bio-model leaves out some other possible bio models as well. It’s like treating pain by sewing someone’s mouth shut so they don’t scream. At least the doctors don’t hear any crazy talk. People can become very miserable from physical illnesses and things like poor sleep. I saw one story about a woman who cured her son’s ADD by fixing his sinuses so he could sleep. It took a lot of detective work to find an underlying cause for his angst. But there was one. He was in constant pain and thought it was normal. This model is super lazy. It’s 14 years of med school for matching symptom A with drug B. I saw an article about a possible relationship between the immume system and shizophrenia symptoms. Someone got a bone-marrow transplant and it cured his hallucinations. The opposite happened as well. There is totally human distress from abuse and interesting ways people develop to cope with it which may not work forever. We don’t give people enough credit for interesting ways to heal or be.

    I enjoyed hearing about Carl Jung’s depression theory. It would make sense that some who experienced a psychotic episode would understand how to come out of darkness.

    I like complex chemistry and biology. I came to the conclusion tonight that anyone who even understands pharmacology on a hobbyist level would think many psych drugs are immoral and not even appropriate treatments in many cases. ( Why give someone with complex issues something that shrinks the organ which is capable of fixing it? Why does someone with emotional problems need all of their nervous system slowed down?)

    I don’t understand how we got here but I hope we can leave someday and move on to Western medicine as a whole. The symptom A drug/surgery B model is many places.

  • Are recovery rates better in Western countries so much so that we feel the need to “save” other cultures with our ideas? Is labeling specific disorders really working so well for us? I would definitely look at the numbers before you try to “improve” the situation. How pharmaceutical companies exported the idea of depression to Japan was one of the most horrific things I ever read.

  • That was beautifully written and fills me with love for you and your daughter. I was suicidal in my tweens as well. I was met with complete rejection but wasn’t medicated. I was also medicated for bipolar when I was older. So I can probably relate with you more. I’ve also never attempted but lived with it for most of my life. I’m not positive what makes people jump, but I know what stopped me.
    1. My own body. Unmedicated depression heavily leaned me towards inaction. The closest I got to death was not eating or drinking, and I wasn’t very close.
    2. Memories of happy moments. One was very spiritual and another was pure joy.
    3. Acknowledging people cared but wouldn’t possibly understand. There was never a note I thought I could write. There was always someone to help me, sometimes badly, but there was help
    4. My cat.

    If someone didn’t have these I could see it happening. She sounds great. People alive have A LOT weirder beliefs than dead boyfriends and get to be heads of state or religions. Take care ❤️. I hope you get off those meds and continue to speak for her and yourself.

  • I had the same problem with mindfulness. I even had a therapist who specializes in it. It’s just too specific a type of thinking. I like the diet analogy in the article. I basically have invented my own system of meditations for recovery. I did some mindfulness…but mostly I had to go DEEP to recover from trauma. There was one time I let myself feel so sad that I relaxed everywhere and felt pain in my limbs. Like they had been clenched for years. Yesterday I was extremely stressed about the possibility of dying from cancer but I didn’t ignore those feelings. I felt them completely, acknowledged and identified them while shuffling cards. Then after 10 minutes my panic attack was done. It was deeply unpleasant to start but deeply rewarding to finish. Mindfulness feels like denial to me.

  • David Mackler on YouTube used to be a therapist, and this was one reason he quit. He sounds like he was a very empathic therapist who was very good at helping “difficult” patients. Part of what makes patients difficult are their lack of funds though. My therapist used to pretty much only treat rich clients and grew sick of their yacht problems. He was one of the few people to take Medicaid in the area. He was pretty good at interacting with me like a human being, but kept insisting something was biologically wrong with me to make me feel better, and I couldn’t explain to him why it didn’t. But like art and many other industries where the higher rule of law shouldn’t be money we live in a society where it deeply matters.
    I just discovered this by trying to learn the guitar. I just want to enjoy the process of learning and maybe eventually play at a cafe but everyone else is SO results oriented and wondering if I can be a star and make money and constantly judging me. I think I’m going to have to practice and not tell anyone how I’m progressing.

  • Even if you manage to shake off a mental illness label…you might be surprised about how little “healing” goes on in western medicine. They were ready to cut my thyroid in half that maybe has a centimeter large tumor. My fiance got put on more and more blood pressure meds that did nothing. I’m starting to understand why my highschool teacher avoids doctors.

    Reiki, diet, cats, my fiance and his family have helped me heal a lot.

  • One of the best ways I learned to deal with uncomfortable emotions came from my boyfriend and also from a Buddhist monk on YouTube. The best thing I can do is to try to feel it completely, for as long as it lasts. Tears are chemically different depending on what you’re crying about, so just let the sadness leave you. Anger makes me feel strongly about issues I care about, and I appreciate it. I thank myself for nightmares so I can address what worries me in the morning with kindness. If you let yourself feel now and just think about how it feels to feel, and what your body is telling you, the less weird you will feel later.

  • I naturally have no sense of ownership when psychotic. Everything is a gift from the universe. I had a really nice pair of my roommate’s green underwear in my drawer for awhile! I mostly get my own room ha! XD
    I am not a violent person at all but I would black out and swear my bloody head off apparently. I’m wondering now if most of my episodes were substance related though. I almost died it felt like from an antihistamine reaction. Gotta watch out for anything you get in a drug store.

  • This is the best! I’m going to print it out and put it in my “just in case I feel like going to the hospital” box. I’ve been a lot of these personalities, so on point lol. Maybe if I’m unceasingly persistent I can avoid being put on a crap ton of meds and be able to get actual therapies? Is that a thing lol? I know it works for getting the hell outside for a break.

    Even better this will make me laugh and change my mind about the hospital being the right thing. Many of the things I find useful about staying at a hospital I can do from home. Like eating right, keeping a schedule, avoiding the internet lol.