Friday, November 27, 2020

Comments by Morgan W. Brown

Showing 5 of 5 comments.

  • editing, once again, for the sake of clarification and readability:

    … along these lines is letting go of the need to control and exercise authority over the person as well as taking responsibility for them, even when the law might permit one to do so on their behalf and, perhaps, therein exists “the biggest conundrum”. …

  • By the way, although I have since changed my profile in order to have my posts labeled with my actual name rather than with my handle, I had mean to include within at the bottom of my initial post the following:

    Morgan W. Brown
    Montpelier, Vermont

  • Let’s try this again …

    i.e., … In addition and most essential in planting as well as nurturing seeds toward building meaningful relationships *and gaining trust* along these lines is letting go of the need to control and have authority *over* the person as well as taking responsibility *for* them no matter whether or not the law sanctions one to do so on their behalf and, potentially, there exists “the biggest conundrum”. …

  • i.e., … In addition and most essential in planting as well as nurturing seeds toward building meaningful relationships along these lines is letting go of the need to control and have authority of the person as well as taking responsibility *for* them no matter whether or not the law sanctions one to do so on their behalf and, potentially, there exists “the biggest conundrum”. …

  • Sandra Steingard wrote: “Engaging with someone who is in distress but is not interested in getting any help remains the the biggest conundrum for me.”

    The conundrum described could be resulting more from the perceptions formed about someone who appears not to be interested in accepting certain forms of “help” being offered or otherwise foisted upon them and the belief or conclusions made that they are in need of the same as well as, due to those perceptions, beliefs and conclusions, the need one might have to impose control, responsibility and authority over the person than anything else. No matter who might believe they are in the right or why they might believe so, resistance in such scenarios is a normal response or at least one to certainly be expected. If the need to control, take responsibility and impose authority can be completely set aside, along with the use of force and coercion in all its various forms, and true dialogue is put into practice and actual meaningful relationships are formed instead, then — even though it might take a long time and lots of patience to bring about — there will be a solid foundation and basis with which to work with and move forward. What also can help is changing the focus to be based more around a person’s self-expressed needs, interests, dreams, hopes and vision rather than what is perceived as their problems or even them as being a problem in need of being taken care of and fixed or otherwise continually maintained by those who believe they know better or best. This often works better in real world settings than it does in “clinical” or “therapy” type of settings. For example, one former mental health professional within the region I am aware of had worked with people outside the clinical environment and who were invited to participate with them on some backyard project or other activity elsewhere and, in doing so, the rest would evolve from there over time. It can go a long way when one meets a person on terms acceptable to them as well as in an environment either more neutral or safer and more comfortable to them. This can be learned by using either phone calls or face to face meetings with them and other members of the team. In addition and most essential in planting as well as nurturing seeds toward building meaningful relationships along these lines is letting go of the need to control and have authority of the person as well as taking responsibility of them no matter whether or not the law sanctions one to do so on their behalf and, potentially, there exists “the biggest conundrum”. If the person who is perceived of needing one’s help learns and can trust on a consistent enough basis that one is not trying to take anything from them or impose anything upon them, particularly for their own good, then one allows the possibility to build real trust and form true and meaningful relationships. It is the building and maintaining of such relationships and resulting trust as well as potential resulting enlightenment and healing on all sides of the equation that will prove to be key and should never be underestimated concerning the matters one is seeking to address. The rest, including whatever potential answers might exist, lie within the person and could eventually be discovered and employed if and when the supportive and nurturing environment exists to allow them to do so on their terms and according to their own sense of timing.