Lisa, it’s too painful to leave a long comment because I’ve been there before. I only want to tell you YES, CLING TO HOPE, IT CAN AND DOES HEAL. I hate everything about your story except your son and the way you love him. Today I lifted weights and drove to the grocery store, no problem, no fear, didn’t even think twice to be grateful the nightmare is years behind me. You reminded me to be grateful. Given time and a lot more hell and suffering, you and your son will be where me and my mother are now. Forgetting the past day by day, often by force. Kafkaesque, Yes. I believe women heal faster than men from this but YOUTH may be your son’s saving grace in the end – yes, dig your claws into hope and let the world call you a tiger mom nutcase… whatever they want to. It does heal. Maybe do what I did and yell it at yourself in the mirror so many times that the words don’t mean anything anymore – hope is not lost. I hate all of these empty-headed “MD”s the way I suspect you do, too. I wish you the best possible in wrestling each day to the ground or letting them wash over you both. Time, time, time. No comfort there. But cling anyway. Sending my love, a big embrace to you and you son from me.