BritW88, for some reason the site is not letting me reply directly to your last comment (5:15). Thanks for your thoughtful clarification. As I said before, “snap out of it” is the worst thing one can say to someone suffering from emotional pain of any sort.
Unfortunately, there is a pervasive tendency to conflate overwhelming sadness with clinical depression and then medicating the emotional pain. In my experience, a common source of depression is pathologizing emotional pain and leaving the sufferer alone with it.
I would add that the presence of an understanding relational home in which one’s emotional pain can be held and integrated is indispensable!
Too bad you need to trivialize and caricature the views of those with whom you disagree, BritW88.
Will do!!
Many thanks, AA!
Yes, overwhelming sadness is being treated as if it were an illness.
The hallmark of emotional trauma is overwhelming, unbearable emotional pain. And yes, the sources of such overwhelming emotional pain are multiple and highly variable.
Thank you, Alex. Yes, perfectionistic performance requirements can be a source of enormous pressure as well as shame.
Well said, Steve, although I prefer the word “intelligibility”–i.e., making sense–over “normalcy.”
Well said, Alex.
Yes, what helps is having what I call a “relational home” for one’s emotional pain. In contrast, shame about being in such pain can begin to look like clinical depression.
When my beloved wife died in 1991, I medicated my overwhelming grief with vodka. The vodka eased my unbearable emotional pain, but a lack of vodka was certainly not the cause of it. Unbearable emotional pain is often wrongly equated with psychiatric disorder and then medicated.
Profound sadness is pervasively and wrongly equated with clinical depression and then medicated. People are being medicated for their painful feelings.
Yes indeed. In another context, I have characterized this as an “insurance-company driven Age of the Quick Fix.” Prescribing a pill is much easier than engaging in a prolonged period of what I call “emotional dwelling.”
Yes, emotional dwelling: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201308/undergoing-the-situation
Here’s the picture I have imagined. “Empathic Civilization in an Age of Trauma”: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201111/empathic-civilization-in-age-trauma
Agreed! And so do my teeth!
Yes, essential!
BritW88, for some reason the site is not letting me reply directly to your last comment (5:15). Thanks for your thoughtful clarification. As I said before, “snap out of it” is the worst thing one can say to someone suffering from emotional pain of any sort.
Unfortunately, there is a pervasive tendency to conflate overwhelming sadness with clinical depression and then medicating the emotional pain. In my experience, a common source of depression is pathologizing emotional pain and leaving the sufferer alone with it.
I would add that the presence of an understanding relational home in which one’s emotional pain can be held and integrated is indispensable!
Too bad you need to trivialize and caricature the views of those with whom you disagree, BritW88.
Will do!!
Many thanks, AA!
Yes, overwhelming sadness is being treated as if it were an illness.
The hallmark of emotional trauma is overwhelming, unbearable emotional pain. And yes, the sources of such overwhelming emotional pain are multiple and highly variable.
I strongly recommend George Atwood’s book, “The Abyss of Madness”: http://www.amazon.com/Abyss-Madness-Psychoanalytic-Inquiry-Series/dp/0415897106/ref=pd_sim_14_4?ie=UTF8&dpID=41kdENehw7L&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR120%2C160_&refRID=0P8HF6XEHSM3ZKPTT072
Regarding “following orders,” have a look at this blog post: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201407/whatever-you-want
Spot-on, Bradford!
Thank you, Alex. Yes, perfectionistic performance requirements can be a source of enormous pressure as well as shame.
Well said, Steve, although I prefer the word “intelligibility”–i.e., making sense–over “normalcy.”
Well said, Alex.
Yes, what helps is having what I call a “relational home” for one’s emotional pain. In contrast, shame about being in such pain can begin to look like clinical depression.
When my beloved wife died in 1991, I medicated my overwhelming grief with vodka. The vodka eased my unbearable emotional pain, but a lack of vodka was certainly not the cause of it. Unbearable emotional pain is often wrongly equated with psychiatric disorder and then medicated.
You are right about one thing: “Snap out of it” is the very worst thing one can say to someone suffering from overwhelming emotional pain!: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201110/trauma-and-the-hourglass-time
Profound sadness is pervasively and wrongly equated with clinical depression and then medicated. People are being medicated for their painful feelings.
Yes indeed. In another context, I have characterized this as an “insurance-company driven Age of the Quick Fix.” Prescribing a pill is much easier than engaging in a prolonged period of what I call “emotional dwelling.”
The next step would be to expunge the phrase “mental illness” from our discourse! Here’s an example: “A Non-Pathologizing Approach to Emotional Trauma”: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201412/non-pathologizing-approach-emotional-trauma
Correction: pathologizing
The pathologyizing of emotional pain has a long history: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201402/the-war-grief
“On the Inconsolability of Grief”: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201309/the-inconsolability-grief
Deconstructing psychiatry’s DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing psychiatry’s DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing psychiatry’s DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing psychiatry’s DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing the DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing psychiatry’s DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing the DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing the DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing the DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing the DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Deconstructing the DSM: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible
Down with the DSM!: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-relating-existing/201204/deconstructing-psychiatrys-ever-expanding-bible