Katinka and myself seem to have similar stories on some level, despite the fact that I grew up in a remote part of Ireland. My father ended up trapped in the system for 10 years. From 1973. But he was on the drugs until his death at 52, from prostate cancer (but possibly also the effects of being on Lithium for 20 years was a contributing factor, as his kidneys seemed to fail in the end). When I went to see Prof Ivor Browne I hinted at the fact that my Manic Depression / “Bipolar” diagnosis was genetic. I even went into a small bit of detail about his ‘highs’. But then Ivor dropped a clanger, that left me literally rewriting 20 years of my life. My father died when I was 23. Ivor said “But your father was around in the era of medication as well !”. No one had said it like that before. And Ivor is a so called ‘expert’ who has 50 years experience as a Psychiatrist / also trained therapist. I realised that the drugs can bring a person way down. So low that you can’t really get out of bed. Or on a ‘high’. While the drugs might have been slightly different back in the 1970s and early 80s, they still could seriously affect mood. While some of us do suffer from anxiety, I believe there is a problem metabolizing the drugs on my paternal side, as highlighted in the work of Dr Yolande Lucire. When I can afford to I will get tested. Another relative had a similar reaction to Lexapro as I did to Citalopram, but they are effectively the same drug. Some people would rather live in the 1970s mentality, as this truth challenges their belief system, that they have been indoctrinated and brainwashed into. I was in that boat myself for most of my life. People trust what doctors say, but at their own peril. The drugs don’t work long term and for me made things far worse, but they also don’t address any issues or inter generational trauma within a family or society. Or true ways in dealing with anxiety. I took Citalopram for anxiety / panic attacks and ended up in mania / ‘psychosis’ 3 years later. It has changed my life forever. I try to stay positive despite the mass damage. One day at a time. Thanks Katinka for sharing your story. I’m tired which affects my writing ability. If you got this far thanks for listening.