I can respect that. I don’t really like the term recovery either, since I’m not in recovery from the ‘disease’ of addiction, I’ve really just ‘developed’ the tools to cope with life without a chemical chaperone. Many of the terminology we use is routed in the archaic and barbaric past of the psychiatric sciences. I certainly have no problem moving away from that. Just, not at the expense of framing these issues in a way that downplays the reality or further suppressing and excluding those we are supposedly trying to help. I’ve lived longer without my mother than I did with her, and her suicide is far from complete. And I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to help others or that I’m glad my mom is dead or that I wish I had been allowed to kill myself. I’m only trying to say that the reality is that if her suicidal ideation even was treatable, she likely wouldn’t have been able to access the treatment. I don’t think the system failed to stop her, I think it failed to reduce the harm her actions caused. It failed to give her autonomy. It failed to identify my brother and I as high risk and make any effort to address that. Until it was far too late. I watched my aunts and uncles argue over whether to dress my mother in a turtleneck or a scarf, to hide the markings on her neck from the leash. Nobody in my ASIST training thought about that. If we demonize suicide and somehow convince this person not to do it, at least for today, and we do the “warm handoff”… But he later does it anyways, what then? His family can’t have an open casket because he took a shotgun to the face. His family can’t say goodbye, because some self righteous 50 year old white dude told me to at all costs use MI to convince people not to kill themselves. I understand it’s not all black and white and sometimes you have to accept whatever small victories you can get but I can’t live with myself imposing such beliefs on the community. All of this to protect myself from a $500k fine? No thanks, I’m a millennial. Maybe then I’ll be able to file bankruptcy so I can get rid of the 6 figure student loan debt doctoral training in social sciences awards you with. And what about my license? Eh, I can get paid more cashiering at Whole Foods. At least with my morals intact, I can look myself in the mirror. I can tell my son what daddy does for a living and not be ashamed.