Long story short my husband was a drug addicted, I finally got the nerve to leave him, and even reached out to my kids school informing them of what happened and asked for any help they could give for my already troubled son. Never responded to my plea, my son got worse, I told them I was trying and even made him a therapist appointment just to be told by the school cop that the school had a therapist the entire school year I was asking for it. The cop goes to get her and she walks in and says who is it that needs medicine? I was shocked I said no no we just need therapy, well I’m booked up she says he’ll have to go on the waiting list and he won’t make it before end of school year. I say that’s ok cause I got him an appointment with the same company she works for and that’s when she informed me that he won’t be able to go there that she has to be the one to refer him first. So I say how about you put my sons name on that list of yours because I’m willing to bet that if he needed this help the first of the year and still needs it now at the end that in 2 months when school starts again I’d be willing to bet he’ll still need it then. The next year starts he gets into trouble and they place him first student ever in this pilot program for troubled kids citing it was a therapeutic alternate working on his emotional well being over academics with 4 teachers hovering over him all day with questions. With calls home to report his bad behavior saying I needed to come get him. And the next days call I say I guess I’ll be on my way just to get chewed out, the staff saying how dare I come get him that I’m enabling him giving him exactly what he wants, that I was hurting my son. I’m told by them they are not therapist and they can’t make him do better. They called DCS and with my sons already filled head of bad mommy thing his jealous resentful father made by sure to unload on his then 8 year old son. And telling me that if he just told them what they want to hear it makes them happy and their nice to him for the rest of the day. And with that I was labeled a drug addict with the insistence of my husband saying so, they took my kids away and told my husband who was 2 days out of a rehab by getting kicked out that he had full access to the kids. Which he he never once stood up quit drugs and handled the business of being a father. So I keep standing barley but I did and while the kids were forced to live with my volatile mother with my daughter saying who was never even interviewed during this process that the living conditions were horrible but we all three new not to fight back to bear the bad and just do whatever dcs said so we could be together again. It was absolutely the worst year of my life yes a year with clean hair follicle tests I took and all the other many things they had me do. Just to get them back their father never seeing them or trying to, goes to jail then straight to rehab then comes out and sees the kids everyday for 7 days, it was beautiful he was actually sober, everyone of us were so damn happy, and then we get the call 7 days later on July, 10 2021 he had died of a drug overdose. I’ve been so mad for so many of their wrong doings had they focused that much time on Jordan as they did me he might, we might would have had a chance. He didn’t want to die, he never quit trying to quit. But while they were busy labeling me a bad mom because I wasn’t giving this medicine to Tyler from a psychiatrist they referred me to after speaking to Tyler for 30 minutes. No mentions of therapy follow up therapy no mentions of any therapy only drugs that I knew nothing about so I didn’t give them to him and my last straw on that was when we went to pick them up he asked to hold the bottle and I said you can look at it but I have to keep it. Mommy‘s have to give their kids the medicine kids can’t give it to themselves. The way he held onto that bottle and almost hugged it while saying finally I’ve got something that I can take that’ll make me a better boy, I’m so glad that we have this medicine and this medicine is going to make me better. I about lost it in the car right there. It all started with me asking for therapy help for my son not medicine, and it ended like this for us. In the end I want to so badly stand up for other kids I have even started taking any and all classes associated with child development. Anything I can think of any book I can any research paper I can learn from and study. All I know is that I have to keep learning it’s all I’ve got is the possible knowledge that could save somebody else’s kid. but I have to admit I have obsessively surrounded myself in this learning become a hermit. I’m scared to even leave the house for the longest time I didn’t do anything with my kids and fear of somebody seeing something in public and reporting it I’ve had my kids taken away from me when I’ve done nothing at all , that fear will make you fall to your knees. Yes I stood tall and I fought for them and I got them back. I didn’t see any other way. It was my only choice but in the aftermath I’m struggling, my kids are struggling because their mom has been absent in this way going through something like this will mess up every thing that there ever was about you everything that made you you is gone and you’re in constant survival mode and nobody nobody understands it unless they’ve been there. I went to therapy all those years ago with my son they were giving me books to read and I’ll never forget going home and reading them so damn excited to go back to therapy to talk about what I read just for them to say oh, I haven’t even read that book yet. being mom in this situation, knowing the lack of mental help there is in my city and the mental health that is there it really isn’t mental help it’s a pharmaceutical factory literally I had to tell my own therapist that if I wanted Xanax, I could get it anywhere that that’s not my issue that I needed coping skills I had to tell my therapist that. Having this type of knowing with no schooling and no education baffles me on every core that this is happening the way it is so when you come out and you get what you want in the end everything you’ve lost to get it cause more damage than just possibly suffering in silence and getting yourself through it on your own I regret absolutely everything I did and those beginning stages and I’m also mad at the system of justice while my kids are being taken from me. The first responding officer was telling me that it was uncalled for , but that if I wore a wire for this bad drug up the road for him to catch them, he would come to my court date and batch for me that my kids should’ve never been taken. Bribery I was receiving bribery, while my children were being taken for me. Where do you go and what do you do , and how the hell do you move forward?
Long story short my husband was a drug addicted, I finally got the nerve to leave him, and even reached out to my kids school informing them of what happened and asked for any help they could give for my already troubled son. Never responded to my plea, my son got worse, I told them I was trying and even made him a therapist appointment just to be told by the school cop that the school had a therapist the entire school year I was asking for it. The cop goes to get her and she walks in and says who is it that needs medicine? I was shocked I said no no we just need therapy, well I’m booked up she says he’ll have to go on the waiting list and he won’t make it before end of school year. I say that’s ok cause I got him an appointment with the same company she works for and that’s when she informed me that he won’t be able to go there that she has to be the one to refer him first. So I say how about you put my sons name on that list of yours because I’m willing to bet that if he needed this help the first of the year and still needs it now at the end that in 2 months when school starts again I’d be willing to bet he’ll still need it then. The next year starts he gets into trouble and they place him first student ever in this pilot program for troubled kids citing it was a therapeutic alternate working on his emotional well being over academics with 4 teachers hovering over him all day with questions. With calls home to report his bad behavior saying I needed to come get him. And the next days call I say I guess I’ll be on my way just to get chewed out, the staff saying how dare I come get him that I’m enabling him giving him exactly what he wants, that I was hurting my son. I’m told by them they are not therapist and they can’t make him do better. They called DCS and with my sons already filled head of bad mommy thing his jealous resentful father made by sure to unload on his then 8 year old son. And telling me that if he just told them what they want to hear it makes them happy and their nice to him for the rest of the day. And with that I was labeled a drug addict with the insistence of my husband saying so, they took my kids away and told my husband who was 2 days out of a rehab by getting kicked out that he had full access to the kids. Which he he never once stood up quit drugs and handled the business of being a father. So I keep standing barley but I did and while the kids were forced to live with my volatile mother with my daughter saying who was never even interviewed during this process that the living conditions were horrible but we all three new not to fight back to bear the bad and just do whatever dcs said so we could be together again. It was absolutely the worst year of my life yes a year with clean hair follicle tests I took and all the other many things they had me do. Just to get them back their father never seeing them or trying to, goes to jail then straight to rehab then comes out and sees the kids everyday for 7 days, it was beautiful he was actually sober, everyone of us were so damn happy, and then we get the call 7 days later on July, 10 2021 he had died of a drug overdose. I’ve been so mad for so many of their wrong doings had they focused that much time on Jordan as they did me he might, we might would have had a chance. He didn’t want to die, he never quit trying to quit. But while they were busy labeling me a bad mom because I wasn’t giving this medicine to Tyler from a psychiatrist they referred me to after speaking to Tyler for 30 minutes. No mentions of therapy follow up therapy no mentions of any therapy only drugs that I knew nothing about so I didn’t give them to him and my last straw on that was when we went to pick them up he asked to hold the bottle and I said you can look at it but I have to keep it. Mommy‘s have to give their kids the medicine kids can’t give it to themselves. The way he held onto that bottle and almost hugged it while saying finally I’ve got something that I can take that’ll make me a better boy, I’m so glad that we have this medicine and this medicine is going to make me better. I about lost it in the car right there. It all started with me asking for therapy help for my son not medicine, and it ended like this for us. In the end I want to so badly stand up for other kids I have even started taking any and all classes associated with child development. Anything I can think of any book I can any research paper I can learn from and study. All I know is that I have to keep learning it’s all I’ve got is the possible knowledge that could save somebody else’s kid. but I have to admit I have obsessively surrounded myself in this learning become a hermit. I’m scared to even leave the house for the longest time I didn’t do anything with my kids and fear of somebody seeing something in public and reporting it I’ve had my kids taken away from me when I’ve done nothing at all , that fear will make you fall to your knees. Yes I stood tall and I fought for them and I got them back. I didn’t see any other way. It was my only choice but in the aftermath I’m struggling, my kids are struggling because their mom has been absent in this way going through something like this will mess up every thing that there ever was about you everything that made you you is gone and you’re in constant survival mode and nobody nobody understands it unless they’ve been there. I went to therapy all those years ago with my son they were giving me books to read and I’ll never forget going home and reading them so damn excited to go back to therapy to talk about what I read just for them to say oh, I haven’t even read that book yet. being mom in this situation, knowing the lack of mental help there is in my city and the mental health that is there it really isn’t mental help it’s a pharmaceutical factory literally I had to tell my own therapist that if I wanted Xanax, I could get it anywhere that that’s not my issue that I needed coping skills I had to tell my therapist that. Having this type of knowing with no schooling and no education baffles me on every core that this is happening the way it is so when you come out and you get what you want in the end everything you’ve lost to get it cause more damage than just possibly suffering in silence and getting yourself through it on your own I regret absolutely everything I did and those beginning stages and I’m also mad at the system of justice while my kids are being taken from me. The first responding officer was telling me that it was uncalled for , but that if I wore a wire for this bad drug up the road for him to catch them, he would come to my court date and batch for me that my kids should’ve never been taken. Bribery I was receiving bribery, while my children were being taken for me. Where do you go and what do you do , and how the hell do you move forward?
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