Trying to navigate the withdrawal has been the thing that’s keeping me from going off of my medications. Polypharmacy involving Paxil, Anafranil, and Xanax. I’m just thankful I found Mad In America before I had taken my first doses of Risperdal and Zyprexa. All prescribed in conjunction with each other for anxiety disorders and OCD. I’ve thought about coming off of Paxil for years now, but I’m 28 and have been taking a full 40mg dose since I was 6. I know there are people who do come off of medications that they’ve been taking for a long time, but I haven’t seen any accounts where the person’s brain had literally developed in conjunction with the pills. Is there even any decent research on the changes in the brain when children are put on these drugs? I also wish that I hadn’t bought into the idea that Anafranil is super special and has a magic anti-obsessive property that isn’t found in other drugs and can only be attained at doses above 200mg. I was washing my hands for like two or three full hours a day and it took me hours to even get a bowl of cereal and was desperate at that point. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy because everyone told me that I had this brain disease that I’d have for the rest of my life and would constantly be clawing its way through my mind even if I didn’t have any form of “symptoms” anymore and that I’d have to be constantly vigilant to make sure it didn’t return. You know what’s distressing? That train of thought. And the more it was reinforced, the worse I got. I’m doing better now, mainly by completely erasing that notion of “This is a brain disease” from my mind and distancing myself from formal treatment. I stopped medicalizing and analyzing myself and just let myself actually feel my emotions for once in my life. Turns out those emotions that I’d fear (literally fear itself) were a lot less intense than I’d thought they’d be. Blah, just watch me go off and talk all about myself all the time. I’m not as self-centered as my comment history makes me out to seem, I swear! Thank you for writing this book and letting MIA share it with us!