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…and not all psychosis is terrifying, sometimes it can be quite beautiful.
…I want to add, people in a delusional do often write of their delusions and sometimes even send them to others but this is often part of the “mission” so it fits with our beliefs. While delusional I often felt writing something rather than saying it would maintain a higher level of secrecy. This is probably because many delusional people believe their surroundings are bugged or their minds can be read. Writing somehow adds a,layer of protection.
My comments are not to insult you at all, but to explain how little non delusional people know about what is going on in the head of a delusional person.
Thank you for this well thought out article. However I don’t believe I have ever seen an article written by someone who has not experienced delusion who gets it right. You did not get this one right.
The “tell” is your example of the woman who jumped from a third story window to ascend to heaven. At the end of the example you decided she was, in fact, suicidal because the “tell” was that she could have ascended from the ground so if she failed…
Your conclusion is simplistic at best and does not take into account the fixed BELIEFS of a delusional person. I have been delusional. I have had persecutory delusions and delusions of grandeur.
During delusions of grandeur, which it sounds like this woman was experiencing, there is a “fix” or explanation for everything to keep believing what we believe. She jumped from the third floor because she thought she would go up. No one would have been able to convince her that she would go down, so why start on the ground.? In her mind she could fly. She may not have believed she had wings like a bird and would flap them until she reached heaven. But she BELIEVED she would ascend. End of story. No discussion needed. No second guessing herself. No proof needed.
BELIEF is the key here. Her mind probably never even considered starting on the ground, and if it did she probably felt that starting on the third floor would get her there faster. I believe your conclusion about her suicidality is dead wrong.
Additionally, there is a very strong element of secrecy to delusions. To disclose one’s “powers” or “mission”, especially to people in positions of authority, like a psychiatrist is tantamount to watering down one’s “powers” or compromising one’s “mission,” or betraying the entity or entities we BELIEVE are guiding us.
Those of us who have been delusional know right from wrong but more often than not our BELIEFS trump right or wrong type thinking.
It wasn’t until my altered reality was drugged away did I realize how little I told anyone about what my complex system of BELIEFS were, even during a 30 hospital stay where I would be questioned by doctors everyday. Part of my BELIEF system was that I could not tell, but I could lie to protect my beliefs, mission, powers or entities.
I don’t believe you or anyone who hasn’t experienced delusions even scratches the surface of what’s going on in the mind of a delusional person. We create whole worlds with all the justifications necessary to uphold those worlds.