Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Comments by Laurie B RN

Showing 2 of 2 comments.

  • I also suffer from this and its agony and I’m crawling out of my skin from the uncontrollable movements and contortions my body is doing without any relief. I also have the dry swollen closed throat and constant jaw clenching and air hunger breathing that causes sores all over my tongue and severe pain in my neck and mouth. I also have to flate my nostrils constantly and they hurt from it. When I really get going, my eyes have to start blinking hard and i keep trying to swallow but cannot and panic sets in. My have to stretch and stiffen. My body rocks back and forth in trying to soothe my body from the movements and I dont even notice that I’m doing it. I do it at all time that I am sitting up. The restless legs chime in when my anxiety builds thinking I will not be able to calm down and relax to go to sleep. Everyone comments on my heavy breathing that I cannot stop because I’m trying to get air into my lungs. I found the diagnosis myself looking up my symptoms and it fit to a tee. My eyes get so sore and dry and itchy and painful from all the hard blinking it does on its own. I know your pain. Its agony. I have various levels of attacks. The more my anxiety I have, the more intense are the movements. Sometimes they drive me into full blown panic attacks and suck every ounce of energy out of me and leave me disabled to the point of not being able to live. I told my psychiatrist that I had this and it manifested from protracted withdrawel syndrome from acute cold turkey benzodiazepine withdrawal after a decade of daily use. I also had several other long term drugs in my brain. My dr. Ignored my diagnosis and I already knew that he didnt believe my health conditions were from drugs but from mental health issues I had like anxiety and ptsd, adhd. How can such an educated man not research his observations of the brain damage these mind altering drugs caused to the nervous system . I would love to know more about your symptoms and I thought I was alone in this pain. You make me want to speak up and advocate for myself. I hope you post more stories.

  • I googled my topic and up popped your blog. I see noone has replied since last year but I just have to reach out to you to thank you to have the courage to share your journey. You have inspired me to want to share the most incredible journey of mine thru the madness of being taking off 88 5 mg tabs of diazepam a month for a total of being prescribed it for a decade. I almost didn’t luve thru it and spent over a year in a psychotic state before having such panic and fear of my delusions that I went into cardiac arrest believing that I was choking to death on a throat full of worms that were blocking my airway and i was actually not able to breath due to gagging and choking. I was dying and all alone a 4:00 am. I called 911 and saved my life. I didn’t wake my husband because he had to get up so early to go to work. I am ready to take fellow victims on a journey of crazy that started November 2012 to January 2014. I am now in a good place to start to reclaim my life somehow though I will never be the high functioning , go getter, social butterfly, reach up for the stars and accomplish all your hopes and dreams and keep climbing the ladder of success. I have come to terms with the new me that is never going to be that girl I was. The new me is well enough from all the brain damage I did to myself with the benzo that took away my anxiety I developed after some very traumatic events that rocked my world. I really could use some advice and feedback on knowing how I’m going to deal with this terrible life changing decision that my psychologist who I trusted and respected so much took away all that I had in life and left me a shell of a person who doesn’t leave the house except to go to my dr appointments. Since I had to be hospitalized in a mental health center off my rocker , I no longer can work as an RN with I worked so hard to get. I was a single mom of 3 daughters and no child support working 3 jobs and in nursing school at the same time and managed to graduate with honors. I worked in a hospital on the med/surg ward and I loved my job. It fit like a glove and I am not bragging when I say I was very good at my job and never cut corners or not give my 100% to each patient in my care. I wasnt ready to give that up after the work I put in to achieve my dreams. I was still had student loans. I had a group of friends that Some were from gramma school that I dropped due to the condition I was left in. My best friend got sick with lyme disease and was near death and begged me to come help and take care of her. She supported me all thru nursing scholl and my moms death and for gratitude I had to refuse. I had just been released from the hospital and she didnt know about the nightmare I had been living in for over a year. She will never forgive me. How could I tell her how insane I was and still was so sick when she was so proud of me for reaching my goals and being so strong. I think I want to get a copy of my medical records from my dr, who did this to me. I think I want to meet with him and tell him how he almost killed me. I know it was out of ignorance and lack of being up to standards of practice by researching the result of cold turkey withdrawal. I want to edycate the dr.s and I think my experience is shocking and would be a story that proves how dangerous and cruel it is to put patients thru. I have all the proof and the story is so horrific it will cause quite a sensation around the world. I am not the kind of person to sue or seek revenge but I don’t want this great teaching moment to go to waste. Please write me back and give feedback of my story. I promise that when you hear it all that its so shocking, you will never forget it. I’m feeling well enough to start taking baby steps to form some sort of plan to tell my dr. s and other professionals that added more suffering to the withdrawals with some of the actions they took when I was sick. I have the best husband in the world who took over running the house and cooking, driving me to my appointments. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was thinking I was acting and thinking normal. Thank you for your story and I would like to know how you are now and hear more of your story.