Saturday, December 3, 2022

Comments by Sidra

Showing 2 of 2 comments.

  • The lead woman of the entire project; Beatrice Birch and I initially met years ago when I was going through mental health problems, and was searching for a safe place to heal. I was immediately adverse to how strict her program was within the first 20 minutes of meeting her. There was no way I could afford 100,000 dollars. I chose hilltop instead. She claimed that she saw something in me. Whatever that meant; I don’t attach to how people feel about me. Good or bad. Years pass; and I went through some rough times. Made mistakes. I had been on the streets, sleeping in the park. Was in the homeless shelter for a while, and then I couldn’t stay there anymore. So I found a room to rent on frost street in Brattleboro Vermont. I was told a few things. 1. That this house was a community. 2. That even though inner fire was a part of this community; they were not paying for the house. Rather; Rob Worton (I am using a fake name), the father of one of their graduates was. Months into living there I missed one of their house meetings due to a job interview and Inner Fire sent me a fake vacancy notice. Yes, in the email it said “Vacancy notice.” only to tell me later on, that it was a mere warning. They also left me a letter telling me that they were sorry and that I just apparently didn’t want to live in a community and that “community is not for everyone.” Completely false. I do value community. I also value space and breathing room at times. Coming from a woman (Beatrice) who apparently values a non-assuming approach. That is not very un-assuming. After a while I was told that Rob could not afford to rent out the house anymore. ( The house went through a couple different room mates, both of which were struggling and on disability. Both of which left abruptly with no notice.) At one point, and inner fire employee came into the house, looking for rent from both of them, expressing that neither of them paid the rent on time, and had skipped paying at some points all together. At the time my mother was helping me pay rent. She paid every month, and has proof that she paid every month. So now: just today. This very morning. Beatrice comes into where I work. I smiled, asked her how inner fire was doing. And she said okay. Then at the end of her transaction she told me that “Even though” I’m doing well, Rob really took a financial blow. And she very clearly implied it was my fault. And said “he kept it open for you.” And tried to guilt trip me, at my workplace for something I did not do. I am not going to place blame on anyone however; Robs financial stress, was not my responsibility. It was his choice, before I even moved in, to pay for that house. I now work and pay my own rent. I did not take anything from them nor was I ever out to hurt anyone. This program, this woman, and their staff did not help me one bit as far as emotional support, or understanding my personal boundaries. I did not feel safe, comfortable, or like I could be myself with this woman. I don’t deserve as one person to be blamed for this. In my personal opinion; this woman should not be working with people who are healing. I’m sorry if this story disturbs anyone who may believe in this program; or if you think I am wrong for sharing it.