I suggest to you that you are not as informed as you think.
I’m just now feeling ‘better’ (still have long term issues that flare up with stress) after nearly *7* years. I can truthfully say that most people would not be able to handle what I went thru the first 6 years or so.
It might behoove you to check out BenzoBuddies or Surviving Antidepressants (there’s a benzo section) and the get back to us.
I also agree that forcing someone such as yourself, at your age and duration of “therapy” is not at all compassionate.
ps just because you successfully got off benzos before does not mean you cannot now experience a traumatic withdrawal (I personally tapered 0.5 mg of Klonopin for a year and a half and still became deathly ill).
Best of luck to you. I can’t say I’ve seen a lot of success with the very elderly and benzos; they invariably decompensate, or suffer a bad fall…you do know they’re linked to dementia, right? Right? What? Your doc didn’t tell you that part??
.
Boy oh boy
The “Family Court System” is filled to the brim with “officers of the court” who NEVER seem to recognize the abuser and instead call the victim “crazy” or, just as you say, are deemed the ones ‘abusive’ for fighting back. I’ve lost everything, precious babies who now scorn me, my business, my garden, my animals–‘family’ just writes me off as *my side of the story* would expose their complicity.
I have lots of friends, tho. I sometimes can’t reconcile these two things. How is it that people who are suppose to ‘love’ you cause so much harm? It’s like living a Greek tragedy~
I’ve enjoyed your series, Megan. Thank you for putting pen to paper and calling out the gaslighting so prevalent in the ‘helping’ professions.
I have a very similar story in almost every way but my ex got custody and I’ve only been ‘med’ free for (almost) 7. Still dealing with the aftermath in all ways.
The kids have written me off as ‘crazy’.
and the wheels go round and round
Just another platitude to shut us up.
No, time does not heal all wounds. Spending time at a therapist’s office to try to do that just prolongs the pain imnsho.
I’m so sorry you ex treated you so badly. I have a very similar ex…who is living happily with his latest female vic, who successfully alienated my children from me, who was awarded *all the property* leaving me homeless. The courtroom was just another venue for abuse.
When I can’t sleep at night, I wonder how it is that the wicked have no problem sleeping; “how do you sleep at night?”
I don’t know. I just don’t get it. As much as I intellectually know that ‘life isn’t fair’ I can’t let go of the injustice!!
KindredSpirit
Thank you for all the effort you put into this comments section. You provided a lot of information and a look into life in ‘Murica 2020.
Onward, thru the Covid fog…
Thank you thank you thank you.
I’ve been feeling as if I’m caught in a crowd, heading toward the cliff, and I’m unable re route my path to safety!
I also have vulnerabilites, much of it incurred from psychiatric ‘meds’. It’s such a small thing; please cover your pie holes.
I am disappointed Breggin is pushing the Faux Nooze angle.
My brother died last week from complications from Covid.
Whatever it’s provenance, it’s out there and it’s killing/disabling a shit ton of us.
The longer this pandemic goes on (and it will until it’s brought under control or mutates) the uglier my fellow amuricans get.
It’s such a small thing. Wear a mask. None of us need the expense (at the very least) or the disability, and I am not ready to die, and from what I’ve read about ‘long-haul’ Covid, sounds much like what I’ve already lived thru: PWS. Hell on earth.
Just relaying my experience from being on BenzoBuddies/Surviving Antidepressants lo all these years.
From what I read in the threads, almost universally, B vitamins cause overstimulation problems. I could not sleep for years and believe me that was my first priority.
and yes, I do still get jacked with the Methlfolate. I only take it if I’m experiencing a run of ‘window-ish’ relief. Which hasn’t been lately.
Yes, everyone is different. But there’s huge commonalities, too.
bcharris
I don’t know how many times I’ve told you…and others too.
Those of us who have successfully d/cd benzos remain very very very sensitive to many substances…B vitamins jack up our nervous systems! Not your cure-all!!
Check out the forums on BenzoBuddies–they will validate what I’ve been trying to tell you for YEARS now. We cannot handle B vitamins!! I am just now, 6 1/2 years later, finally being able to handle a bit of supplemental Methlyfolate. Yep. Have that genetic klinker MTHFR factor thing-y, as do many of us who end up with PAWS.
My marriage was similar so all that was (heh) ‘triggering’…but the bit about self-love and the frenzy of ‘self-care’ societal pressure (yup, it feels like the ‘positive thinking’ mandate).
And I’ve never considered the ideas you present about the same self love not being necessary for one to be loved. Thanks.
Hey bcharris
I’ve told you many times before that post-withdrawal folks almost universally are very very sensitive to B vitamins…they add to the distress, jack you up.
Just now, 6 1/2 years later, am I able to tolerate small amounts.
Get it??
For those of you who didn’t like the Matt Taibbi piece I linked to above:
You know what? I’m the one who used ‘pc’…none of the articles I’ve shared here do–their term is “woke”. The DSA is dead; infiltrated by the Wokeistas…BLM has been subverted into a neutered mainstream meme etc etc. I’ve seen this shit happen for years.
I support black people, brown people, poor people oppressed people etc etc with my whole being and for my whole life. What you are saying here, as I see it is that my ‘thoughts’ are again, erroneous (where have I heard that before?) and I must correct myself/thoughts/speech in order to be acceptable in this society.
What I object to as implied in this article is the *forced* rote recitation of ‘correct’ speech (1984 anyone?) thoughts etc etc. I wonder why it’s so difficult for the white people here to not understand this.
You oldhead and Richard especially.
If all peoples (black brown yellow red white rainbow) started out on an equal playing field economically — if power were measured in dollars (isn’t it now?), then would there still be racism?
I recommend the Black Agenda Report for news and views. Those folks are genuine in their desire for change for black people…all people being crushed by capitalism in the US.
Until there are more working class people commenting here, I’m done.
The Woke are destroying progressive thought in the same way BLM has been infiltrated by corporations.
Adolph Reed on Cancel Culture.
We are destroying ourselves. Infiltrated and betrayed.
Sad sad day for progressive thought. (More like *more* sad days).
You are *censoring* people…you and your Professional Managerial Class (class way more important than race imnsho) brethern have insulated yourselves in your tribal thinking unable to consider other points of view and worse JUDGE others who you consider to be ‘deplorable’ or unwoke. How much ego is involved I wonder?
Reminds me of the relentless ‘positive thinking’ meme shoved down our throats constantly–like religion!!
The tragedy here is that I consider myself to be a radical humanitarian, egalitarian etc. etc (done my share of time in affinity groups, political causes) but nope we get neoliberal divide and conquer subtly disguised as solidarity that feels ‘forced’…like Fascism forced. And this coming from ‘the left’…
I have absolutely no hope for this culture.
We are doomed to destroying ourselves and the life around us because we can’t see we’re all one —
Matt Taibbi perfectly discusses the ‘pc’ police and it’s damping effects on free thought. Sera, I have great respect for you but you continue to not get this~
Please don’t give me some woke PC stuff. I have met others who have displayed similar behaviors…how do you describe these folks? How are therapies invented for them if they don’t all have *something* in common?
No, really.
I used to watch UCTV on the public access station; many lectures about the genetics of ‘autisim’ that apparently aren’s true at all. Labels involve power-over dynamics…but but but??
You know, I’m a little confused by this article and the responses.
I have a younger sibling who is “autistic”. He lives in a group home (as far as I know). I have a great deal of guilt about not having a relationship with him (I was oldest and thus did a good deal of caretaking). He is/was not able to verbalize properly (repeats phrases over and over), rocked back and forth, banged his head…I know there was a period of time where he would break windows…he used to pull his pants down when frustrated (often) and I now realize the poor guy likely has food sensitivities (as do I)…
IOW, he has *something* very very “wrong”with him…has been this way since his shots when he was a baby (I know I know). His memory is/was excellent…he loved music but would trip out on weird stuff like the garage door opening and closing, or one time he became hysterical because he couldn’t figure out a puppet turned inside out…so when I see folks here saying ‘autism’ doesn’t exist, or isn’t considered to be a disability, man that just hasn’t been my experience.
Please enlighten me folks.
Me too, ks
I lay awake at night and wonder if the ‘cure’ for my ‘condition’ isn’t really just good ol’ fashioned
JUSTICE.
I’ve lost everything I ever cared about and am tired of fighting.
Link please.
Thanks for the encouragement…both of you 🙂
Yes, Alex you are right!
I’ve followed some of the links Magdalene has provided and (I’m kinda shocked) found them informative and validating. Melanie’s you tubes speak to me in a very scary way–I was mesmerized!
And then I wonder about what her real goal is here. To make money! The raison d’être of our capitalist system.
Just someone else making money off my misery.
Hearing from you, Alex, that you’ve had a good experience with Melanie soothes the cynicism a bit. A tiny bit.
Magdalene you have left us a treasure trove of things to explore as this story winds up to it’s final conclusion. Thank you.
Bless you, Laurie
You are not alone in this… doesn’t help I know.
Don’t know about the rest of you but I’m fed up of this dollars over lives bullcrap. Stock market plunging, retail closed, the coming culling of the ‘weak’…and what is our gov’s most pressing concern? His reelection. So lets give trillions of dollars to the fat cats who bought back their own stock shares to boost their bottom line…while us plebs are told to tug on those bootstraps. Personal responsibility!! Lazy crazy old poor people just go die already…
It’s amazing to me, when Bernie talks about Medicare for all he gets the MSM chant: “how are you gonna pay for that??”
Boeing, the dirty frackers, and wall street seem to have no problems getting helecopterted fiat goverment dollars.
Time to revolt. Time for stories like Laurie’s to end.
Enough!
Thank you Johanna for putting it in a way that would be published in the comments. I failed…
APs, ADs, benzos…they *all* can cause severe withdrawal syndromes. One can’t compare experiences and say which one is ‘worse’. (Check out ‘limbic kindling’ sometime).
Most doctors don’t have a clue how to get patients off psych drugs safely. If they ‘help you without much reserve’…it’s by cutting doses waaaaay too fast, wreaking havoc on the nervous system.
Thank the goddess for Surviving Antidepressants and BenzoBuddies. What was true for you may not be true for others…
You need some humility here…
Me, too.
Wonderful writing, Jane.
I can relate to so much you’ve shared.
All the best to you~
“addicted” is not applicable to *most* of us on benzobuddies…
Stop it with the addiction language. Not accurate and it harms us.
And yo, neo-liberal
You should check out BenzoBuddies and read a few entries–benzos are dangerous as f*ck.
People DIE when cold-turkeyed. People kill themselves from the akathisia…and the lack of acknowledgement. The symptoms are numerous and persistent for years for some of us.
Wow sam plover
That’s a way to think about it all I’ve never considered. Thank you for that.
Kate
Me, too, same same. I haven’t been able to afford a pet for years…
Got thru the holidays (alone) but boy, I’m so tired of suffering.
Thank you Sarah for this informative piece…which I have to read a little at a time:)
I have been ‘suicidal’ in recent weeks, triggered by the fact of the Trump’s admin is set to cut SSI/SSDI by a huge percent in the 2020 budget.
I am trying my best to recover from the brain damage from Klonopin; starting my 7th year of this with no end in sight.
If I lose my disability, I will be homeless. How ironic that I finally found an affordable, comfortable place to live in a new community that I’m loving. How am I suppose to ‘make a home’ here when all this is brewing?? How am I suppose to heal when stressed about my survival? When DT and Co. (hey, Eddie Munster/Paul Ryan…happy now??) kill us off it will be you next.
Reagan did this in the 80s and 21,000 people died.
Comments opposing the proposed cuts are being accepted until Jan. 31…
They give me a bogus diagnosis, load me up with pHarma, then abandon me to my fate. Yeah yeah I made the decision to engage with the beast…but no internet back then and the peer pressure was profound. Some of us are just cursed.
I won’t use a gun…I wouldn’t want to traumatize whoever finds my body; if only I could score some Seconal or Morphine!…or I could walk off into the snow…
The self-loathing I feel when I read online random people’s opinions about us ‘takers’…is overwhelming.
They gave me a bogus diagnosis, loaded me up with pharma, then abandon me.
And if you think the homeless are a problem now…it’s just going to get worse until we get up on our hind legs and fight back.
USA USA USA!!!
I’ve had the honor of being an inmate in the county jail. The med lines were something to behold. Everyone was on psych drugs…including me. This is where I was initially prescribed Klonopin. When I was released after 3 months without a continuing script, I experienced my first cold turkey.
It was a trip. And set me up for further limbic kindling from the shrinks I met in the subsequent fall out of my abusive divorce.
Lots and lots of meds being passed and consumed enthusiastically.
Removed for moderation.
Be sure to dial the suicide prevention national number so you can get the ‘help’ you need….
Ack
Wow Dr. K.
wowowowowowowowow
Glen Close was in Thelma and Louise??
Uh, no.
Believe me
I know more than I’d like about ‘withdrawal’ …from poly-drugging.
Like you, still dealing with the damage.
Comments evenly distributed between those who “can’t survive without” their ADs, and those who know better from experience.
Plus sprinkles addressing of the mythical ‘chemical imbalance’ theory…
Not the issue here, Frank.
Never have taken lithium altho it was on offer…
Sounds familiar…
Thanks Dr. Gotzsche…all the best to you.
ps Ordered “Deadly Medicines…” for the local library, along with “Anatomy…”
and in my case, my ‘bipolar’ is being questioned by SS disability…can’t wait to die as a homeless bag lady on the streets with all that wonderful brain damage from their ‘treatments’.
USA USA USA!!!
You are poo-poohing thyroid conditions when in fact, there is a gross *undertreatment* of hypothryroidism.
If I could ‘dose’ myself, I wouldn’t need the gatekeeper.
Dessicated thyroid has been in the phamacopia for hundreds of years…but now must adhere to the ‘expert’ opinions of MDs.
Not happy about daily meds but it most def affects my quality of life without it.
I can find facts to support my view…show me yours Dr.
DING DING DING!!!
My hero. All the best to you Peter Gotzsche in all your endeavors.
Errr
I have Hashimoto’s. If not for the faulty TSH test, I wouldn’t have known what was causing the sluggishness, cold, dry skin, difficulty in losing weight etc etc. Doing without the replacement Armour thyroid med would make me an even worse basket case. But thanks for your ‘opinion’ anyway.
Methinks the good Dr.’s ‘knowledge’ only goes so far.
A feature, not a bug.
Already have told you, charris that we have SENSITIVITES to supplements…b vitamins in particular.
If I take a b or eat too many green leafy…I will not sleep for days.
I’m entranced by the O=H N=O=O=H theory of benzo damage. Ramcon over at BB has been exploring various mechanisms with the goal of ‘cure’. I’m not holding my breath, but the above theory explains perfectly the ‘waves and windows’ pattern of symptoms.
I’m about to start my 6th year post Klonopinm, inspired by Anatomy. It is a nasty nasty drug. I, too, want a ‘death with dignity’ option–not sure how I’m going to obtain the chemical agents necessary–guns are out. I don’t want to cause further trauma upon the discovery of my corpse. I keep asking the minders for that BLACK PILL they so obviously want to administer.
So sorry to read about yet another victim of psychiatry. I think there *is* momentum, but the forces against honest inquiry are vast.
Sam
I like “…started protecting children, not from parents, but *with* the parents.”
I like that…I have seen a lot of CPS crimes up close and personal. Nuclear families are a bust–we have been purposely divided up into little islands of issues to keep us from being strong together. How about supporting parents better so the stresses of life in these here unitedstates doesn’t play out as more dysfunction?
When I was forced to go to counseling when in grade school due to the chaos and violence in my life at home, my abusive mother was given a complete pass and the ‘problem’ was me. Only to repeated in various scenarios thruout my adult life.
What if my parent had received more help for the difficulties in her life?
No justice no peace
Black is white Peace is war Up is down etc etc etc
Sarah!
You’ve described it all *perfectly*.
“For me, the mainstream insistence that life is easy (or would be if I were doing it right) is a deadly add-on stress. Due to mainstream denial, I don’t just feel overwhelmed. I feel crazy. Disconnected. Totally alone.”
The stress of the holiday, the condition of ‘stress sensitivity’ from my d/cing benzos, and the news that the Trump administration is gunning for disability recipients (which will leave me homeless ) and the general tone of our ‘society’ … they want me dead. I am a burden to *everyone*. I wish i wish I could score some morphine or nembutal — just to have on hand when the time is right. The clock is ticking…and I am so so very tired.
“Woke” politics is VERY AUTHORITARIAN. You know, the PC police…
Why is that so hard to understand? I am waaaaaaaaay left of what is considered ‘left’ these days. The Democratic PartyTM does not represent me–they represent the 10% managerial class and their billionaire corporate donors. And they mos def has ‘authoritarian’ issues, along with all the ‘alternative’ communities I’ve lived in. Never so oppressed as when I lived in Humboldt County CA.
Left, right…the propaganda is so thick now.
Steve gets it.
The noose tightens…
Isn’t it interesting that the so-called ‘left’ are more authoritarian than the the so-called ‘right’?
I tried going to NA sometime during the first year off the Klonopin. Wonderful people improving their lives.
But I just could not stand up and say “I’m an addict” cuz I’m not.
If one could ignore all that it might be the only type of support available at all.
So very sorry to read this.
We’re dropping like flies:(
RIP Julie. You will be missed.
I hope it was a good death.
Will miss Stephen’s comments filled with his wisdom and compassion.
Thanks for the post.
the comments are encouraging
it seems to me that the tide is rising…
That is bunk regarding ‘marijuana’. Maybe true for some but most def not for all.
If people only knew how many in the professional classes use weed…or people in positions of power.
To Steve
Yes, I think anyone who ‘listens’ consciously is extremely helpful.
I try to do that for others. “Listening” is something we all can do. Seems to be difficult for some…
“Listening” does not mean ‘fixing’. It is connection that heals me.
I just realize that ‘me’ is very small…dust in the wind, so to speak.
“We” are not that important.
And I have divorced my whole family. I refuse to be abused by people who learned messed up ways to cope with trauma and project it onto me, the family scapegoat.
Thanks all.
I would love me some justice. Can’t see it happening for me.
“I had a legal victory after experiencing and calling out systemic abuse and discrimination, and what that did was that it gave me confidence.”
I must live with the fact that my family tells a story about who I am and what I’m about without me being able to voice my own truth, and now with a diagnosis…I must live with the fact that after I’m gone, my side of the story is too.
Must be nice to get that validation…and JUSTICE.
Removed for moderation.
Just stating the truth as I see it. I don’t promote hating anyone with my comment. Facts are facts until ‘somebody’ decides they’re not.
Disappointed that there is no freedom to discuss this issue on this site.
Rad fem here, too.
Removed for moderation.
If only I could *afford* to see a functional medicine practitioner, eh??
Glad to hear she’s ‘free’. Doesn’t sound as if she’s out of the woods, yet, tho.
I can also relate; however my felony, committed while taking Paxil, wasn’t thought to be due to ‘mental illness’ until I left jail homeless and without any support and suffering from a cold turkey withdrawal of Klonopin. You should see how many in jail are on psych meds!!!
I then met the ‘system’. The system labelled me cuz I had done my crime in defiance of the patriarchial and corrupt family court system. I had nowhere else to go to for support.
Psychiatry is a system of social control. Period.
Thanks RW, for following up on Marci’s situation. I wish her healing and resolution.
Wow, TooStubbon
You are so right. Not even the same thing but..
I was referred to a specialist, who’s treatment options left a lot to be desired, ie he wants to operate and the stats for successful outcomes are not that great. I declined. The office/practice insists that I must come in for follow up care (?) monthly, 130s mile round trip. I demurred. A few weeks ago I received a letter telling me they are ‘firing’ me as a patient. Huh. There is a possibility that at some point in my aging I will need a specialist of this type so did I screw myself for not following their revenuing plans??
And then there’s the scary thought of being incapacitated and at the mercy of “ModernMedicineTM” I heard horror stories of Advance Directives not being honored.
It is just sickening how money has corrupted every aspect of our lives…
how do you figure that???
I am struck by the similarity of the “anti-semetic” charges against anyone criticizing Israel with anyone who critiques psychiatry is called a ‘scientlologist’. Surely this process can be named and counteracted?
RW is like a ‘democrat’…can’t advance social change cuz the republicans are ‘blocking’ him.
Love ya, Robert, but your caution is bogging you down imnsho.
The left is dead. Social change will take a revolution but the tech is in place to make that an impossibility, so here we are, sheep,…begging for the boot on our neck to let up a bit.
Excellent retort, Steve.
It’s sickening how the ‘chemical imbalance theory’ is still so prevalent in the “culture”.
The meds make you sick, just as Fiachra states. The whole ‘mental illness’ business will make you crazy.
Yup
I’ve been neutered.
I’ve been iatrogenically damaged and as the years go on it appears to be permanent.
Thanks for all the support and compassion, psychiatry!/s My abuser ‘won’ just as he set out to do.
I suggest to you that you are not as informed as you think.
I’m just now feeling ‘better’ (still have long term issues that flare up with stress) after nearly *7* years. I can truthfully say that most people would not be able to handle what I went thru the first 6 years or so.
It might behoove you to check out BenzoBuddies or Surviving Antidepressants (there’s a benzo section) and the get back to us.
I also agree that forcing someone such as yourself, at your age and duration of “therapy” is not at all compassionate.
ps just because you successfully got off benzos before does not mean you cannot now experience a traumatic withdrawal (I personally tapered 0.5 mg of Klonopin for a year and a half and still became deathly ill).
Best of luck to you. I can’t say I’ve seen a lot of success with the very elderly and benzos; they invariably decompensate, or suffer a bad fall…you do know they’re linked to dementia, right? Right? What? Your doc didn’t tell you that part??
.
Boy oh boy
The “Family Court System” is filled to the brim with “officers of the court” who NEVER seem to recognize the abuser and instead call the victim “crazy” or, just as you say, are deemed the ones ‘abusive’ for fighting back. I’ve lost everything, precious babies who now scorn me, my business, my garden, my animals–‘family’ just writes me off as *my side of the story* would expose their complicity.
I have lots of friends, tho. I sometimes can’t reconcile these two things. How is it that people who are suppose to ‘love’ you cause so much harm? It’s like living a Greek tragedy~
I’ve enjoyed your series, Megan. Thank you for putting pen to paper and calling out the gaslighting so prevalent in the ‘helping’ professions.
I have a very similar story in almost every way but my ex got custody and I’ve only been ‘med’ free for (almost) 7. Still dealing with the aftermath in all ways.
The kids have written me off as ‘crazy’.
and the wheels go round and round
Just another platitude to shut us up.
No, time does not heal all wounds. Spending time at a therapist’s office to try to do that just prolongs the pain imnsho.
I’m so sorry you ex treated you so badly. I have a very similar ex…who is living happily with his latest female vic, who successfully alienated my children from me, who was awarded *all the property* leaving me homeless. The courtroom was just another venue for abuse.
When I can’t sleep at night, I wonder how it is that the wicked have no problem sleeping; “how do you sleep at night?”
I don’t know. I just don’t get it. As much as I intellectually know that ‘life isn’t fair’ I can’t let go of the injustice!!
KindredSpirit
Thank you for all the effort you put into this comments section. You provided a lot of information and a look into life in ‘Murica 2020.
Onward, thru the Covid fog…
Thank you thank you thank you.
I’ve been feeling as if I’m caught in a crowd, heading toward the cliff, and I’m unable re route my path to safety!
I also have vulnerabilites, much of it incurred from psychiatric ‘meds’. It’s such a small thing; please cover your pie holes.
I am disappointed Breggin is pushing the Faux Nooze angle.
My brother died last week from complications from Covid.
Whatever it’s provenance, it’s out there and it’s killing/disabling a shit ton of us.
The longer this pandemic goes on (and it will until it’s brought under control or mutates) the uglier my fellow amuricans get.
It’s such a small thing. Wear a mask. None of us need the expense (at the very least) or the disability, and I am not ready to die, and from what I’ve read about ‘long-haul’ Covid, sounds much like what I’ve already lived thru: PWS. Hell on earth.
Just relaying my experience from being on BenzoBuddies/Surviving Antidepressants lo all these years.
From what I read in the threads, almost universally, B vitamins cause overstimulation problems. I could not sleep for years and believe me that was my first priority.
and yes, I do still get jacked with the Methlfolate. I only take it if I’m experiencing a run of ‘window-ish’ relief. Which hasn’t been lately.
Yes, everyone is different. But there’s huge commonalities, too.
bcharris
I don’t know how many times I’ve told you…and others too.
Those of us who have successfully d/cd benzos remain very very very sensitive to many substances…B vitamins jack up our nervous systems! Not your cure-all!!
Check out the forums on BenzoBuddies–they will validate what I’ve been trying to tell you for YEARS now. We cannot handle B vitamins!! I am just now, 6 1/2 years later, finally being able to handle a bit of supplemental Methlyfolate. Yep. Have that genetic klinker MTHFR factor thing-y, as do many of us who end up with PAWS.
My marriage was similar so all that was (heh) ‘triggering’…but the bit about self-love and the frenzy of ‘self-care’ societal pressure (yup, it feels like the ‘positive thinking’ mandate).
And I’ve never considered the ideas you present about the same self love not being necessary for one to be loved. Thanks.
Hey bcharris
I’ve told you many times before that post-withdrawal folks almost universally are very very sensitive to B vitamins…they add to the distress, jack you up.
Just now, 6 1/2 years later, am I able to tolerate small amounts.
Get it??
For those of you who didn’t like the Matt Taibbi piece I linked to above:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq3y8UBguO8
You know what? I’m the one who used ‘pc’…none of the articles I’ve shared here do–their term is “woke”. The DSA is dead; infiltrated by the Wokeistas…BLM has been subverted into a neutered mainstream meme etc etc. I’ve seen this shit happen for years.
I support black people, brown people, poor people oppressed people etc etc with my whole being and for my whole life. What you are saying here, as I see it is that my ‘thoughts’ are again, erroneous (where have I heard that before?) and I must correct myself/thoughts/speech in order to be acceptable in this society.
What I object to as implied in this article is the *forced* rote recitation of ‘correct’ speech (1984 anyone?) thoughts etc etc. I wonder why it’s so difficult for the white people here to not understand this.
You oldhead and Richard especially.
If all peoples (black brown yellow red white rainbow) started out on an equal playing field economically — if power were measured in dollars (isn’t it now?), then would there still be racism?
I recommend the Black Agenda Report for news and views. Those folks are genuine in their desire for change for black people…all people being crushed by capitalism in the US.
Until there are more working class people commenting here, I’m done.
The Woke are destroying progressive thought in the same way BLM has been infiltrated by corporations.
Adolph Reed on Cancel Culture.
We are destroying ourselves. Infiltrated and betrayed.
https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2016/06/adolph-reed-identity-politics-exposing-class-division-in-democrats.html
It has come to my attention that the author of the above piece (Exiting the Vampire Castle) committed suicide.
Another piece about basically the same thing.
Psychiatry is mentioned —
https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/opendemocracyuk/exiting-vampire-castle/
Sad sad day for progressive thought. (More like *more* sad days).
You are *censoring* people…you and your Professional Managerial Class (class way more important than race imnsho) brethern have insulated yourselves in your tribal thinking unable to consider other points of view and worse JUDGE others who you consider to be ‘deplorable’ or unwoke. How much ego is involved I wonder?
Reminds me of the relentless ‘positive thinking’ meme shoved down our throats constantly–like religion!!
The tragedy here is that I consider myself to be a radical humanitarian, egalitarian etc. etc (done my share of time in affinity groups, political causes) but nope we get neoliberal divide and conquer subtly disguised as solidarity that feels ‘forced’…like Fascism forced. And this coming from ‘the left’…
I have absolutely no hope for this culture.
We are doomed to destroying ourselves and the life around us because we can’t see we’re all one —
Matt Taibbi perfectly discusses the ‘pc’ police and it’s damping effects on free thought. Sera, I have great respect for you but you continue to not get this~
https://taibbi.substack.com/p/the-news-media-is-destroying-itself
How would I describe him then?
Please don’t give me some woke PC stuff. I have met others who have displayed similar behaviors…how do you describe these folks? How are therapies invented for them if they don’t all have *something* in common?
No, really.
I used to watch UCTV on the public access station; many lectures about the genetics of ‘autisim’ that apparently aren’s true at all. Labels involve power-over dynamics…but but but??
You know, I’m a little confused by this article and the responses.
I have a younger sibling who is “autistic”. He lives in a group home (as far as I know). I have a great deal of guilt about not having a relationship with him (I was oldest and thus did a good deal of caretaking). He is/was not able to verbalize properly (repeats phrases over and over), rocked back and forth, banged his head…I know there was a period of time where he would break windows…he used to pull his pants down when frustrated (often) and I now realize the poor guy likely has food sensitivities (as do I)…
IOW, he has *something* very very “wrong”with him…has been this way since his shots when he was a baby (I know I know). His memory is/was excellent…he loved music but would trip out on weird stuff like the garage door opening and closing, or one time he became hysterical because he couldn’t figure out a puppet turned inside out…so when I see folks here saying ‘autism’ doesn’t exist, or isn’t considered to be a disability, man that just hasn’t been my experience.
Please enlighten me folks.
Me too, ks
I lay awake at night and wonder if the ‘cure’ for my ‘condition’ isn’t really just good ol’ fashioned
JUSTICE.
I’ve lost everything I ever cared about and am tired of fighting.
Link please.
Thanks for the encouragement…both of you 🙂
Yes, Alex you are right!
I’ve followed some of the links Magdalene has provided and (I’m kinda shocked) found them informative and validating. Melanie’s you tubes speak to me in a very scary way–I was mesmerized!
And then I wonder about what her real goal is here. To make money! The raison d’être of our capitalist system.
Just someone else making money off my misery.
Hearing from you, Alex, that you’ve had a good experience with Melanie soothes the cynicism a bit. A tiny bit.
Magdalene you have left us a treasure trove of things to explore as this story winds up to it’s final conclusion. Thank you.
Bless you, Laurie
You are not alone in this… doesn’t help I know.
Don’t know about the rest of you but I’m fed up of this dollars over lives bullcrap. Stock market plunging, retail closed, the coming culling of the ‘weak’…and what is our gov’s most pressing concern? His reelection. So lets give trillions of dollars to the fat cats who bought back their own stock shares to boost their bottom line…while us plebs are told to tug on those bootstraps. Personal responsibility!! Lazy crazy old poor people just go die already…
It’s amazing to me, when Bernie talks about Medicare for all he gets the MSM chant: “how are you gonna pay for that??”
Boeing, the dirty frackers, and wall street seem to have no problems getting helecopterted fiat goverment dollars.
Time to revolt. Time for stories like Laurie’s to end.
Enough!
Thank you Johanna for putting it in a way that would be published in the comments. I failed…
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Sorry about the poor editing…tech handicapped.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4daGggmYp0
Neo
APs, ADs, benzos…they *all* can cause severe withdrawal syndromes. One can’t compare experiences and say which one is ‘worse’. (Check out ‘limbic kindling’ sometime).
Most doctors don’t have a clue how to get patients off psych drugs safely. If they ‘help you without much reserve’…it’s by cutting doses waaaaay too fast, wreaking havoc on the nervous system.
Thank the goddess for Surviving Antidepressants and BenzoBuddies. What was true for you may not be true for others…
You need some humility here…
Me, too.
Wonderful writing, Jane.
I can relate to so much you’ve shared.
All the best to you~
“addicted” is not applicable to *most* of us on benzobuddies…
Stop it with the addiction language. Not accurate and it harms us.
And yo, neo-liberal
You should check out BenzoBuddies and read a few entries–benzos are dangerous as f*ck.
People DIE when cold-turkeyed. People kill themselves from the akathisia…and the lack of acknowledgement. The symptoms are numerous and persistent for years for some of us.
Wow sam plover
That’s a way to think about it all I’ve never considered. Thank you for that.
Kate
Me, too, same same. I haven’t been able to afford a pet for years…
Got thru the holidays (alone) but boy, I’m so tired of suffering.
Thank you Sarah for this informative piece…which I have to read a little at a time:)
I have been ‘suicidal’ in recent weeks, triggered by the fact of the Trump’s admin is set to cut SSI/SSDI by a huge percent in the 2020 budget.
I am trying my best to recover from the brain damage from Klonopin; starting my 7th year of this with no end in sight.
If I lose my disability, I will be homeless. How ironic that I finally found an affordable, comfortable place to live in a new community that I’m loving. How am I suppose to ‘make a home’ here when all this is brewing?? How am I suppose to heal when stressed about my survival? When DT and Co. (hey, Eddie Munster/Paul Ryan…happy now??) kill us off it will be you next.
Reagan did this in the 80s and 21,000 people died.
Comments opposing the proposed cuts are being accepted until Jan. 31…
They give me a bogus diagnosis, load me up with pHarma, then abandon me to my fate. Yeah yeah I made the decision to engage with the beast…but no internet back then and the peer pressure was profound. Some of us are just cursed.
I won’t use a gun…I wouldn’t want to traumatize whoever finds my body; if only I could score some Seconal or Morphine!…or I could walk off into the snow…
The self-loathing I feel when I read online random people’s opinions about us ‘takers’…is overwhelming.
They gave me a bogus diagnosis, loaded me up with pharma, then abandon me.
And if you think the homeless are a problem now…it’s just going to get worse until we get up on our hind legs and fight back.
USA USA USA!!!
I’ve had the honor of being an inmate in the county jail. The med lines were something to behold. Everyone was on psych drugs…including me. This is where I was initially prescribed Klonopin. When I was released after 3 months without a continuing script, I experienced my first cold turkey.
It was a trip. And set me up for further limbic kindling from the shrinks I met in the subsequent fall out of my abusive divorce.
Lots and lots of meds being passed and consumed enthusiastically.
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Be sure to dial the suicide prevention national number so you can get the ‘help’ you need….
Ack
Wow Dr. K.
wowowowowowowowow
Glen Close was in Thelma and Louise??
Uh, no.
Believe me
I know more than I’d like about ‘withdrawal’ …from poly-drugging.
Like you, still dealing with the damage.
Comments evenly distributed between those who “can’t survive without” their ADs, and those who know better from experience.
Plus sprinkles addressing of the mythical ‘chemical imbalance’ theory…
Not the issue here, Frank.
Never have taken lithium altho it was on offer…
Sounds familiar…
Thanks Dr. Gotzsche…all the best to you.
ps Ordered “Deadly Medicines…” for the local library, along with “Anatomy…”
and in my case, my ‘bipolar’ is being questioned by SS disability…can’t wait to die as a homeless bag lady on the streets with all that wonderful brain damage from their ‘treatments’.
USA USA USA!!!
You are poo-poohing thyroid conditions when in fact, there is a gross *undertreatment* of hypothryroidism.
If I could ‘dose’ myself, I wouldn’t need the gatekeeper.
Dessicated thyroid has been in the phamacopia for hundreds of years…but now must adhere to the ‘expert’ opinions of MDs.
Not happy about daily meds but it most def affects my quality of life without it.
I can find facts to support my view…show me yours Dr.
DING DING DING!!!
My hero. All the best to you Peter Gotzsche in all your endeavors.
Errr
I have Hashimoto’s. If not for the faulty TSH test, I wouldn’t have known what was causing the sluggishness, cold, dry skin, difficulty in losing weight etc etc. Doing without the replacement Armour thyroid med would make me an even worse basket case. But thanks for your ‘opinion’ anyway.
Methinks the good Dr.’s ‘knowledge’ only goes so far.
A feature, not a bug.
Already have told you, charris that we have SENSITIVITES to supplements…b vitamins in particular.
If I take a b or eat too many green leafy…I will not sleep for days.
I’m entranced by the O=H N=O=O=H theory of benzo damage. Ramcon over at BB has been exploring various mechanisms with the goal of ‘cure’. I’m not holding my breath, but the above theory explains perfectly the ‘waves and windows’ pattern of symptoms.
I’m about to start my 6th year post Klonopinm, inspired by Anatomy. It is a nasty nasty drug. I, too, want a ‘death with dignity’ option–not sure how I’m going to obtain the chemical agents necessary–guns are out. I don’t want to cause further trauma upon the discovery of my corpse. I keep asking the minders for that BLACK PILL they so obviously want to administer.
So sorry to read about yet another victim of psychiatry. I think there *is* momentum, but the forces against honest inquiry are vast.
Sam
I like “…started protecting children, not from parents, but *with* the parents.”
I like that…I have seen a lot of CPS crimes up close and personal. Nuclear families are a bust–we have been purposely divided up into little islands of issues to keep us from being strong together. How about supporting parents better so the stresses of life in these here unitedstates doesn’t play out as more dysfunction?
When I was forced to go to counseling when in grade school due to the chaos and violence in my life at home, my abusive mother was given a complete pass and the ‘problem’ was me. Only to repeated in various scenarios thruout my adult life.
What if my parent had received more help for the difficulties in her life?
No justice no peace
Black is white Peace is war Up is down etc etc etc
Sarah!
You’ve described it all *perfectly*.
“For me, the mainstream insistence that life is easy (or would be if I were doing it right) is a deadly add-on stress. Due to mainstream denial, I don’t just feel overwhelmed. I feel crazy. Disconnected. Totally alone.”
The stress of the holiday, the condition of ‘stress sensitivity’ from my d/cing benzos, and the news that the Trump administration is gunning for disability recipients (which will leave me homeless ) and the general tone of our ‘society’ … they want me dead. I am a burden to *everyone*. I wish i wish I could score some morphine or nembutal — just to have on hand when the time is right. The clock is ticking…and I am so so very tired.
https://btlonline.org/trump-drive-to-cut-social-security-disability-benefits-will-kill-thousands/
People also need to be aware of the cuts proposed to the SSI/SSDI budget in 2020.
Perfect plan paired with criminalization of the homeless. Will the trains and camps follow?
It’s eugenics all over again for the crazies.
Comments are still being accepted. Please add your voice.
https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2019/12/a-national-disgrace-trump-proposes-social-security-change-that-could-end-disability-benefits-for-hundreds-of-thousands.html
“Woke” politics is VERY AUTHORITARIAN. You know, the PC police…
Why is that so hard to understand? I am waaaaaaaaay left of what is considered ‘left’ these days. The Democratic PartyTM does not represent me–they represent the 10% managerial class and their billionaire corporate donors. And they mos def has ‘authoritarian’ issues, along with all the ‘alternative’ communities I’ve lived in. Never so oppressed as when I lived in Humboldt County CA.
Left, right…the propaganda is so thick now.
Steve gets it.
The noose tightens…
Isn’t it interesting that the so-called ‘left’ are more authoritarian than the the so-called ‘right’?
I tried going to NA sometime during the first year off the Klonopin. Wonderful people improving their lives.
But I just could not stand up and say “I’m an addict” cuz I’m not.
If one could ignore all that it might be the only type of support available at all.
So very sorry to read this.
We’re dropping like flies:(
RIP Julie. You will be missed.
I hope it was a good death.
Will miss Stephen’s comments filled with his wisdom and compassion.
Thanks for the post.
the comments are encouraging
it seems to me that the tide is rising…
That is bunk regarding ‘marijuana’. Maybe true for some but most def not for all.
If people only knew how many in the professional classes use weed…or people in positions of power.
To Steve
Yes, I think anyone who ‘listens’ consciously is extremely helpful.
I try to do that for others. “Listening” is something we all can do. Seems to be difficult for some…
“Listening” does not mean ‘fixing’. It is connection that heals me.
I just realize that ‘me’ is very small…dust in the wind, so to speak.
“We” are not that important.
And I have divorced my whole family. I refuse to be abused by people who learned messed up ways to cope with trauma and project it onto me, the family scapegoat.
Thanks all.
I would love me some justice. Can’t see it happening for me.
“I had a legal victory after experiencing and calling out systemic abuse and discrimination, and what that did was that it gave me confidence.”
I must live with the fact that my family tells a story about who I am and what I’m about without me being able to voice my own truth, and now with a diagnosis…I must live with the fact that after I’m gone, my side of the story is too.
Must be nice to get that validation…and JUSTICE.
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Just stating the truth as I see it. I don’t promote hating anyone with my comment. Facts are facts until ‘somebody’ decides they’re not.
Disappointed that there is no freedom to discuss this issue on this site.
Rad fem here, too.
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If only I could *afford* to see a functional medicine practitioner, eh??
Glad to hear she’s ‘free’. Doesn’t sound as if she’s out of the woods, yet, tho.
I can also relate; however my felony, committed while taking Paxil, wasn’t thought to be due to ‘mental illness’ until I left jail homeless and without any support and suffering from a cold turkey withdrawal of Klonopin. You should see how many in jail are on psych meds!!!
I then met the ‘system’. The system labelled me cuz I had done my crime in defiance of the patriarchial and corrupt family court system. I had nowhere else to go to for support.
Psychiatry is a system of social control. Period.
Thanks RW, for following up on Marci’s situation. I wish her healing and resolution.
Wow, TooStubbon
You are so right. Not even the same thing but..
I was referred to a specialist, who’s treatment options left a lot to be desired, ie he wants to operate and the stats for successful outcomes are not that great. I declined. The office/practice insists that I must come in for follow up care (?) monthly, 130s mile round trip. I demurred. A few weeks ago I received a letter telling me they are ‘firing’ me as a patient. Huh. There is a possibility that at some point in my aging I will need a specialist of this type so did I screw myself for not following their revenuing plans??
And then there’s the scary thought of being incapacitated and at the mercy of “ModernMedicineTM” I heard horror stories of Advance Directives not being honored.
It is just sickening how money has corrupted every aspect of our lives…
how do you figure that???
I am struck by the similarity of the “anti-semetic” charges against anyone criticizing Israel with anyone who critiques psychiatry is called a ‘scientlologist’. Surely this process can be named and counteracted?
RW is like a ‘democrat’…can’t advance social change cuz the republicans are ‘blocking’ him.
Love ya, Robert, but your caution is bogging you down imnsho.
The left is dead. Social change will take a revolution but the tech is in place to make that an impossibility, so here we are, sheep,…begging for the boot on our neck to let up a bit.
Excellent retort, Steve.
It’s sickening how the ‘chemical imbalance theory’ is still so prevalent in the “culture”.
The meds make you sick, just as Fiachra states. The whole ‘mental illness’ business will make you crazy.
Yup
I’ve been neutered.
I’ve been iatrogenically damaged and as the years go on it appears to be permanent.
Thanks for all the support and compassion, psychiatry!/s My abuser ‘won’ just as he set out to do.
Thanks, Bruce. Another good essay for the files.