Monday, September 25, 2017

Comments by CatNight

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  • Hi Help, You found this site – that in and of itself is a very good thing. I know hope sometimes its a word that hurts more than helps at times. Just hold on and walk a step by step breath by breath life and read. IT would be so nice to have mini and or large trauma sanctuaries open 24/7 to go to when hope is lost is the junkyard of life. They have a small version for cancer folks in my area. Not open all the time but enough with free alternative therapies and support groups. Everyone deserves this type of support ACROSS THE BOARD. And we all need group support to help deal with our memories of the trauma that we lived through in the psych units. Reparation monies from the Psych docs and guilds and Big Pharma folks.
    How did the Japanese-AMericans fight for their reparation? Learning and gaining knowledge helps with the despair!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pick something and learn, then pick something else, and learn some more. Walk, hug trees – do different things, try different libraries, thrift, volunteer to walk a dog at a dog shelter, buy a goldfish, write a letter to someone. PEN PALS. ANYONE?
    AND TRY TO KEEP CONNECTING. THEY MADE US ASHAMED. Try to believe even when you don’t feel like it that we are worthwhile and valuable. Call your Senators and Congress members. Sometimes they will talk to you!!! Thats one interaction with another adult who doesn’t know your history!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Understand the anger. I have relatives on meds. I give them my views.It’s a hard call even when I was aware at some point I fell into line with horrific results for me.
    Just so you know. Sometimes the options are very, very poor. A old old friend was a social worker way back before the 1950’s. She had a lovely family with a very very brain damaged CP small child that could only literally cry. There was no capacity for human emotion – my guess is that the brain must have been malformed or something awful happened. As a social worker she and she was very aware of the maltreatment in institutions tried to help the family get the child in the institution for relief . the child screamed and slept, screamed and slept in a non cyclic way. the family had go to court their petition was denied because the state would only take children five and beyond. there were no meds then just placement in an attic. Not good.
    Until all of you can use the brains that I know you have to open your minds that sometimes despite. the bad bad issues sometimes people have the right to use medications as the only option left. If yo
    Be kind, have mercy. If you haven’t worked with DD folks with severe impairments don’t comment. it shows. You are getting angry at the choir. Here . And yes. I am anonymous and yes I have been on the other side. But don’t do what Big Pharma does and paint everything on just two sides. The snarky stuff does not become you. Keep your minds open when triggered and in anger. And I have empathy rage – sometimes I want folks to feel what I have felt in solitary confinement.- Walk away and write on a different day. WE need all of your voices just not the voice coming from the trauma and suffering we all had. I think of Mandela. Years of prison. We all can do this. And I will tell you I fail all the time and my curses are truly vile.. If I was a Big Pharma person I would be shuddering!! Yikes!

  • If we are talking children here, America has a terrible track record with the support of children. Politicians and others talk a good story but that is what it only is a tall tale. Child care, education, support for parents, support for disabilities, good education for those who do want to help as in Social Workers and I would say even the medical students is laking in historical content and context,and in critical thinking. The isms are pushed aside and swept under the rug. What is honored and put on the alter is profit, greed, and getting the best deal at the lowest price. And yes country clubs and cars, and high end fashion and jewelry. Those things are considered ultimately as more important than families and children in our country. Vets who were knowingly exposed to hard things have to fight to get proper treatment and if you come from a lowballed, low exposure culture or group watch out- the system will and can eat you up.
    There are good folks scattered among all the layers. The trick is to find them and somehow connect a thread to one another with not only exposure but some sort of active force that will in the end blow down the tower of blocks that these adult toddlers have built. One can always hope.
    Thanks for all your voices.

  • Truth I agree but as one who has seen and experienced multiple perspectives- even I would have to admit there can be rare circumstances that usage is the only option left. That is why there needs to be trauma sensitive treatment, money for standard and alternative treatments, well paid and cutting edge informed staff from janitors up the line.
    There is such a thing as disability fatigue. My family has been very very aware and our ability to handle difference and otherness fairly high though definitely not perfect. Our family has had a multiple perspective on disability through personal experience. One family elder came back from a family event and said there were just too many disabled folks to have a relaxing time. And this was said with love. If we are going to a near if not complete medication philosophy then we must acknowledge and accept families and staff will need supports just as much as those in need or crisis. Lopsided approaches and views are ignorant and doomed to failure.
    Trauma informedmeans thewhole 9 yards,the whole cobbdle from
    prevention to everything else.
    It also means we must all accept we fit into the other category now and then or lifelong. Sometimes both- sometimes on a variety of different levels. Use of chemicals should only be used as a desperation measure. If services were really well funded, proactive, and all encompassing I would hope greatly that the option would be used if at all very very infrequently.

  • Too long in coming but I will take it. Thanks. There has been a long history that is mostly covered up behind this research. Back in the days of institutions, there were attempts to separate folks based on cognitive function but this was after WW1 and the indriduction of IQ testing in soldiers. Many inmates were commuted due to all sorts of issues and many times those with nonsimilar issues were committed. I still remember a an “inmate”of a state institution for the Developmentally Disabled trying desperately to use the very weak process available to him to get out based on the fact he was not developmentally diabled.
    In some states services are tied together in other states not. Therefore many times the monies go in unequal portions to Developementally Disabled systems rather than “mental health”
    This creates a wedge among family members – jawbreaking at times to me. On the radio I heard a sister of a developmentally challenged woman state – “but she’s not crazy”
    In another instance if a life long MH labeled man say-“but he’s not retarded”
    Many folks after deinstulization started taking place went directly to nursing homes – even children.
    I can easily see how medication was used to make it easier on staff with bare bones staffing and almost no training.
    Many group homes are run by immigrants and they bring their own trauma issues with them which adds another layer to the mess.
    Monies are barrel scraping for many programs- like many areas of social services in our country today and that makes the use of medication the go to response BD with the historical amnesia and lack off i depth education and training many programs are being run by administration and staff who are completely ignorant about best practices.
    The other issue not addressed here but should be is the high rate of abuse. Developmentally disabled folks are prime targets and putting them on these types of medications only aids offenders. In a state wide training on offenders they interviewed a hospital staff member who worked with
    compromised patients and abused them knowing they had no ability to tell on him.
    Another issue is how to handle problematic behaviors. Medication should be at the very end of the line. The idea of “least restrictive environment”isessential. Every
    every program that works with folks in need needs to have a team approach and medical ethicist on board.
    Expensive yesbutwho everpriseddoing the right thing would be easy or inexpensive?

  • Thanks Eric and to your mother. The concept of other has been so problematic in our human history. I always wonder what the story is on the Neanderthals. They intermarried, 3% of our genes come from them but how did they disappear?
    Lepers in the Bible, the mark of Cain- such a long, long history.
    The concept of “” the wandering Jew”
    It boggles the mind. In our present history, even Winston Churchill had his leanings and ideas. The funny thing is- those who mightly support fear of the other usually have stuff hiding in their own closet.
    And btw- never feel ashamed or try not to feel negative about any of your writing where you were in process of any different state of mind. Sometimes writing is the only helpful thing. But I understand. Thanks again for this.

  • Amity and Darby thanks for bringing Kate’s death. The article was great. There are a lot of connecting threads to her story in my life story.
    One is her experience in the old style institution. Yes. I was in several as a vistor and intern.
    And she was more spot on then she knew.
    One summer I worked in a small basement room in my county’s probate court microfilming old commitment papers. It was clear the scam was on for many folks by family members. And there was always the death certificate months later for many.
    Someone needs to research these records.
    And the saddest part for Kate and for myself was we were forced to going to a place we already knew was hell. RIP Kate old gal.

  • No. The premise is finehope/hopelessness but no. No mention of trauma and s second person account versus the actual article. Please stop publishing these pieces. I find them a waste of time and energy.The are masked as helpful when really they are the same old same old,
    The once now and then interesting depth filled articles are almost not worth reading.
    Central American,South American, DACA, and the Hispanic view of past and present common treatment oractice would be much more interesting and helpful.The livesif so many activists have Ben lost. Presents to all of them. Speak your true voice.

  • Eric to clarify my writing.
    My fault- Torrey was on the scene in the early 1980’s trying to promote that a winter reoccurring virus caused the s word. If you were born in certain months he tried to prove their was a greater risk due to this virus idea. He didn’t strike me as strident and rigid but that was before I was in country.
    There is information on the badge system used in the cc camps. The guards used it for easy identification of what prisoner class an inmate was. Sounds horrorific and would overlaying even more future affects in a survivors family.
    I never knew about the labeling system until now Look under shaming badges.
    In my area a lot of NAMI folks have been Jewish and I wonder about the dynamics of that. Don’t want to comment further because it is not my story.
    The badge usage ties into color coding. My last stay in country I was forced to wear bright orange patient wear for two days after admission.
    Shaming badges- shaming clothing / essentially the same thing except patients are supposed to be there for help.
    The whole industrial/prison system especially in some areas / read here Arizonia is rife with this thinking process. Again not my story but we need to hear and maybe help.
    To think a WWII refugee was able to be the first American medical doctor to identify child abuse is informative. His cohort Fritz Reidel was among those who conceived the concept of therapeutic mielu.
    Anna Freud worked with refugee children in England. She and her father were very late refugees from Germany.
    Bruno Bettelheim was also another refugee who worked with children and later committed suicide. No one wants to acknowledge that can of worms.
    You may not agree with all that they did but they came from war and it informed their life.
    Children and adult children of War vets are beginning to realize secondary trauma in their own lives.
    I am thinking each of us as the ability to handle stress present and past and sometimes the stress becomes so overwhelming you go into altered states. And each person is unique and their circumstances are unique . This is not being acknowledge in the system.
    Thanks again!

  • Thanks so much Eric.This is the work that I think is so important.
    Torrey, at first was into a virus cause and did work on birth dates and Ireland. That has been around for a long long time maybe 1950’s but the historical story and other abuse stories point much more to trauma and secondary and tertiary trauma.
    Check out the badge and color coding schemes used in the camps in Germany and other places such as surprise! Institutions of all kinds.
    Some of the refugees from Germany developed into interesting voices for children. C. Henry Kempe and Fritz Reidel among others. Not perfect but aware in some areas.
    Keep up the good work!

  • Thanks Sera! I just commented on this on another social media site.
    I would direct folks to put on their presidential historian hats in and do research. Have issues does not preclude you to being a great president. Massive amount of words have been written about Lincoln and please check out his wife Mary Todd Lincoln. Hers is a hard story.
    Behavior, behavior, behavior should be the way to remove a president from office. Choice is involved.
    We all need to speak up. I don’t know how to get away from the stinkin thinking you so elequently described since it involved those in MH Mt Olympus.
    I am repulsed by all of our leaders aspects but at the same time I can also appreciate how some folks voted out of desperation.
    What have we come to? I can only hope that something good will find its way like a weed and push trough concrete cracks.
    My guess is that he and others despite money despite background had trauma – it was covered up and hidden and they choose to continue to wallow in it rather then stop and at least try to turn around.
    As the song goes…. “You have to be carefully taught…”

  • Thanks Richard! Yes. In many cases an opioid is one of many meds prescribed. Spinal surgery folks can be given pain meds- benzodiazepines, ant- depressants. In some ways it is good to have pain control but there is a plethora of ignorance on the part of medical folks on how to do good withdrawal. There is also the lack of coordinated teams that could introduce alternative methods of pain management. PT and OT folks and the alternative therapies all have ways which taken together could help end some of this problem.
    If support from insurance and medical administration folks would come in team work and review for each patient that would be great. Money continues to be the only bottom line these days.
    To have a doc – no matter who or how good function well with time limits, paperwork issues, and lack of inter and intros professional interaction is the work of the corporate devil.
    No one can do well with complex human medical and emotional issues totally ensconced in an insurance and hospital administration cell.
    We see what has happened.
    My fear is what will happen.
    I believe those of us who have seen the machinations of the “Mental Health” side of things are the true and vivid canaries in the coal mine. And look what happened to them when disaster struck.
    I worry in my worst moments that we have all become canaries and the coal miners are aware but the Company folks are willfully oblivious.

  • Also many docs throw in SSRI for pain management for long term sometimes lifetime pain issues. But sometimes they throw them in just throw them in without really thinking.
    This whole issue needs much much more discussion and research. For those unfamiliar with pain management in the last century there were issues especially with folks who had sickle cell anemia it became a war between staff and patient about the realty of pain.
    This was also before alternative methods were considered real options.
    So there is a history and view that’s needs to be acknowledged.
    Again so much more with everyone involved needs to be done.

  • Richard yes that explanation of the difference between addiction and dependence from proscribed medication is excellent. I saw that happening before my very eyes with a relative who luckily was more aware than the pain management doc. I also talked to an addiction specialist who was seeing the same issue. Interestingly he said he heard about Robert ‘s work on the radio and literally had to stop driving to listen.
    As a tip for those who know or are folks dealing with pain issues- meds can come in strips one can cut them and titrate them down as needed. Some docs are unaware of this option to handle pain -one can walk away from the meds. My relative used all sorts of alternative methods and walked away.

  • I have been silent on this site. I have looked at the various contributions and they have all had interesting thoughts .
    There still seems and this commentary proves it again- a divide between users and non user professionals. Whether they have lived experience is never mentioned and that creates more of a divide on this site. Is it fear based or did they just get lucky or does status play its hand even with a female based cohort?
    Glad this is being thought about but meh because it is so all encompassing – the range – used is or seems overwhelming.
    The best folks to be actively involved with actual power to talk the talk and monetary ability to walk the walk would be those with multilateral experiences.
    Until you have been pregnant one just can’t conceive – no pun intended- how life is changed forever. We as a world community keep on looking to professionals even with the best intentions who just miss the boat because as in male Ob/Gyn cant talk the talk or walk the walk.
    A movement needs folks from both sides in an equal concurrent community. Actually, from the whole spectrum.
    Seneca Falls and the meeting way back before that. Check it out -African American females and others working for rights of both.
    We just need to do it and folks will come like an open audition . Scary kind of very Who knowsish but look at how many stats have been found in theatre or sports. One lighted candle showing the way.
    Think folks. Work together. Listen and professionals be humble. Some of you never ever would have suirvived by what we survivors have and had been done to us.
    Blogs with both folks – a written conversation would be a good start.

  • Wow Madmom you hit the proverbial nail on the head. Yes and to add- we live and probably have always lived in a world encircled by trauma. We have had the tools and analysis for this over time but it keeps getting lost or pushed down
    Freud deals with it in his writings on anxiety. Right there- the words about a person coping with danger.
    What you describe is almost like the process one goes through when one is taken hostage. And NAMI and professionals were- no doubt about it. The CEOs and others in the power cycle acted as offenders- the Pharma vacation package to docs like a rape walk by a sexual offender – check out what the lay of the land is
    So how to get eyes and ears opened up?
    How do get the offenders a juminy cricket and or a growing nose when lying?
    Thanks to Robert for bring up a framework which allows dialogue too
    I have struggled with my anger but am also aware resentment is the poison that kills you. Hate does not make great.
    But one also has to experience the outrage and other feelings in order to walk through the wailing wall.
    My guess and best bet is the CEO folks and others on the other side have unresolved trauma issues as well.
    They used power tripping and money as coping mechanisms to the great loss of us all.
    If South Africa can work towards betterment of atrocious times, if other countries can do so in fits / starts and Good progess – this should be doable. The trouble is human lives are being irrevocably damaged tonight on the wards, in the prisons, in the nursing homes and group homes where staff is mandated to act in ways they might not believe in.
    And now more than ever there are restrictions in what can be done with activism.
    There has to be something doable. I willl as always keep putting my thinking cap on.

  • In Europe there were institutions that had families of physicians and staff living-eating-playing with patients. It was not unknown to have a former patient become a professional . Frieda case of Dora is an example.
    Rorschach -who developed the test had some interesting thoughts worth exploring and the test itself.Food for thought.
    Thanks for exploring I don’t think I could have done it!
    And thanks for bringing up incarceration.
    The private prisons and private detention centers all need voices.
    What I long for is more of a solid network of folks working together to institute a new narrative and change but I still like your hope
    Why not try?

  • Thanks Sera for this and all the comments.
    I originally as a professional was turned off by NAMI but felt badly. This was before trauma and generational trauma was really talked about. Then when I allowed myself to be pushed in the system I felt I had no where else to turn to in processing my own trauma. It was not helpful and I discovered in my locale MAMI had over run the narrative. I went to one walk it was small and ran into other professionals who said they came out of pity.
    However the hospitals and social service agencies were big time supporters.
    Management and administration love this philosophy even as you know Sera journalism folks do not question the narrative.
    I have had NAMI folks come to a church Reiki healing volunteer project and proudly spout the propaganda.
    I thought the church was progressive but it had its NAMI ties.
    Open AA meetings are more real about emotions and issues with trying to get help with things other than meds. Old timers were no meds then the wave of folks made it so they too were pulled in now it seems like they are more more open.
    Best talk on suicidal thinking was at a alanon meeting- go figure.
    I would suggest folks read Jane Mayer Dark Money because I think that is part of what we are dealing with.
    My concern for myself after my forced hospitalization is safety.
    I keep looking for a good place to move but fear doesn’t strike out yet.
    So speaking out in my local is fraught and wrought. There are supportive folks but in these times I just don’t know. The worst part is I have so much to offer. I feel my insights and gifts are being wasted and diminished every day.
    In the old days there was so much more latitude and openness to difference at least when I was a teen.
    I think a buddy system and use of a 12 step type of narrative might work
    Telephone trees or email chains.
    One trouble for me is that I feel I have been burned by reaching out and I am unsure like I guess many others are which folks are safe.
    The best memory I have ofvrecent times is going to a panel of self labeled autistic adults. It was held at a center developed and run by parents. One of the speakers ended by saying and asking why there were not autistic folks on the board and why they all couldn’t have more of a voice! Yes! She spoke out and received a round of applause. The panel was organized by an advocate coach who like me when I worked felt folks sometimes need help but they should be in charge and take flight on their own wings.
    Fear has continued and forceably been instilled in our narrative by others.
    This has made it doubly hard to speak out and be listened to.
    I also don’t want to burn down bridges for those in NAMI who just need open eyes and ears.
    Theatre folks might be a way to get the word out with new works with talk backs . You don’t get that with movies.
    And we also have to be open to all the isms that are inherent in the system and for me in my perspective.
    Sometimes I don’t see all the ways I have lucked out.
    And not to shut down. Sometimes hard not to do.This dialogue has been great. Thanks to all.

  • In regards to your wish in the last paragraph. And thanks for the work – it saddens that it has come to this in our research world.
    In my area,NAMI had implicit power to expose the medical school students and residents to carefully picked folks who would relate how the status quo of the system worked well for them. These folks were picked by staff who might not have had any professional training. At one meeting another woman and I were dismissed because of our expressed views that did not fit into the narrative. In our area, the journal news venue would come out with a reformed surivi or who had been a media flashpoint and now had seen the light and repented of their ways.
    Many medical residents that see folks may not have received trading in the states. This creates a double edged sword hanging over patient’s head because they are dealing many times with medical folk who are only told the one narrative and may come with a cultural background that is patricharal and could be elitist.
    Their ability to hear people’s suffering and trauma is diminished at times.
    With the emphasis on medication so much is thrown effectively down the toilet in terms of any good that the profession achieved at times in the past.
    The concept of true Auepiscaplian sp? is lost, torn asunder, and rent to the pyschiatrist’s very soul.
    I admire the ones who hold on to the inherent moral practice of the Hippocratic oath. It still is not easy for them.
    I would think drastic intervention is the only way to change the power dynamics-
    Even if at times chemicals work for some the issue of where the MH world is belies a sense of things being on the right track.
    Look at Polio-scabies these conditions showed drastic change not a slippery slope into hell.

  • Monica you brought me back. Thanks for your words.
    As both a survivor and a retired LISW I share your perspective in some ways.
    I worked in the field for over twenty years before being pulled into the system by uninformed family, all of us traumatized by ongoing criss issues, uninformed friends, and “helpers” who really didn’t help.
    The worst was the trauma of hospitalization.I knew what a decent looked,acted,and felt like. These units were prison- nothing more-nothinging less.
    As a professional, I worked assiduously to treat the relationship as a team effort.
    I took time to establish trust and when something bad went down I told the truth of what I had control of and what I didn’t. So if abuse was acknowledged I told my client the law – prepared them for what would happen and had them listen to my call to the abuse hotline. I tried very hard to let them know it would not be easy and keeping on telling their story to the safest folks they could find.
    I was only there to help them learn to cope with life independently.
    My job as I saw was to put myself out of business.
    I tried hard to have a mutual respect relationship. I learned many things from my clients and sometimes was in awe of how they maintained.
    My issue with the MH professional writings is -at times- you can feel the defensiveness- and I would say fear.
    When one starts out writing- ” I have this- I wrote these books, I have presented these workshops, and most revealing of all – I come from this family constellation – and I am not willing to admit any true hard issues because I am an expert.
    This stance- for me as a reader with both lived and professional experience disbelief, anger,triggered hurt- the stance of power- and ultimately sadness and continued lack of hope that the secret tragedy of MH care will never be totally revealed and change happen.
    I want a dialogue. But it has to be played out on a fair field – a round table like the Paris Peace talks.
    If you read literary critical thinking vocabulary and fiction matters in terms of the power of relationship.
    There are so many people involved in the system that I would really like to hear from. Police officers, aides who work on the units, judges,ect.
    Maybe Robert and staff need to work on some sort of framework for dialogue for all.
    Or some toiols not used now. What about survivor first reads and commentary before a MH work comes out?
    What and how did Bishop Tutu’s commission work?
    Maybe a reading list for potential contributors to read before writing suggested by survivors?
    Hannah Ardnt’s work would be important.
    There are virulent isms all over the MH system from ages and ages ago. It has gotten into the white mean now and U think that is part of why MIA exits. Not the best way but please let’s use this to solve not continue problems otherwise U will not be back.
    Politeness never hurts but the issue of power is fraught and wrought here and U know it might not even cross contributors minds or they just are not sure how or what to say so they go into default pistering mode.
    How can we do this better?

  • Sorry Chaya I did not address your hurt.
    I don’t think there are many fantastic thereuputic relationships. One has to have a gift and one has to be lucky to find that person.
    Kind of like marriage except you are in an truly unequal economic relationship.
    I go back and forth. I try and then stop for a variety of reasons
    We all all looking for that missing piece that would make us feel less hurt or empty fill in the blank
    Sometimes we find in a professional sometimes in a friend
    Sometimes in other acts of alternative stuff and actions
    Ultimately I think we all our hurting and some of us are not only aware but we pick up the vibes and carry them in our souls.
    Keep on walking the walk.You are not alone and I value your presence here. You ran into a bad situation where your support was wounded and did not have the tools strength or skills to deal with your nonlocus of control loss. She could have done several things
    She could have cried with you
    She could have done a ritual
    She could have modeled or talked about how to say goodbye
    She could have advocated for you and the others and told you her actions
    She could and I think had the responsibility to help you have another support
    She could have spoke the truth this really you know what
    She could have resigned
    Or she might have tried and failed and was unable to acknowledge it or talk against the system and in her on life was on the edge
    Best is to forgive piece by piece and bless her because festering feelings thoughts and memories never help us
    Easier said then done as I know all all to well
    Another day or time there could be a place for seeking another but help comes from walks and small things or just having your great writing and voice
    Keep open and keeping the idea of a dream catcher
    The webbed area keeps the bad stuff out the hole allows the good in
    I don’t do any work though I have done peer experiences workshop stuff
    Still dealing with life
    Thanks for putting a light to this

  • Sorry for the typos the lingering side effects of meds and overlay of dyslexia and dysgraphia
    I had made use of supports from social workers in the past but on my own way in my own choice stream and mostly behind closed doors
    Had planned for more but couldn’t squeeze it in too much hell going on
    In past had supervised some one out in the peer community I was only Worker who was willing
    Also tried to get clients off meds in 1980s but wall
    Now I know why they were clueless!
    Being in the worst scenarios has given me 360 almost vision
    Someday would love to use it for all

  • Oh yes for twenty years as a LISW. I dropped it when I became frustrated with the profession and its trajectory in the regional systems.Also multiple family issues made it nigh high to impossible to do good work or advocate for change.
    “Friends”intervened nonprofessional clueless during an extreme nonlocus of control period calling already fragile family members to get me into the system. One so called professional colleague was involved but I am never gotten the details. It started me into the cesspool of meds and seclusion and as ful side effects and totally destroyed my sense of self worth.
    Still recovering from it all
    CV available on request!

  • Thanks Chaya for your thoughts.
    And Steve for yours and the others.
    Therapy is a minefield. There is no good way to walk through the maze and it is a maze with yucky and good things based so much at random which makes it worse for the traumatized person because once again you have little to no agency at a time you really need it.
    I have had a spectrum my issues is that several therapists leaned on me or I was aware enough because of my gifts and training they were not able to handle my life circumstances. Another issue was the complete and utter separate role of the therapist and docs inpatient and outpatient
    It is a huge horrific desert so that the one professional who could at least advocate is also locked out by the medical system.
    Training Steve can provide extra but it in no way shape or form is any sort of guarantee.
    I would advocate for a shamanistic system which is inherently peer sensitive along with a fine tooth selection of useful and helpful wisdom writing from all areas and all times.
    And my work was always to put myself out of a job.
    That was always my shared primary goals and it was a team approach. I never thought I knew it all and was open to see my work asa journey for me as well. The system is so corrupt and rotten that these tenants are little found. The docs are lost like CEO’s.Most have lost their moral souls and compass and are deaf -blind – and dumb in the worst way possible. They do damage on a daily basis and at this point I have have found no good way to put an end to their great damaging of humans.
    This was the most horrorific part for me being in the system. They abused and tortured one of their own and didn’t even care or believe or bother to ask and actually listen to me as a human.
    It was a gift in learning the great pain of disenfranchisement. At least I can use it for good and to finally be brace enough to speak truth to power for all of those caught in horror situations.

  • Emmaline and Elizabeth
    I worked with RD’s and still know some.
    What is important hear is the “othering” unintentionally going on.
    In order to dialogue well and there is a learning curve here
    Read Kein Uris he has a great section in working through listening and responsibility.
    It would have helped if Elizabeth had said
    Catnight
    I hear you and others have a hard time with the use of my terminology in the article
    How best can I reframe those phrases?
    Oh trauma yes thanks for bringing it up and I will have to do more research on that aspect
    Power plays a role even in conversation and now blogging.
    Colonialism 101
    It would be interesting to have a lunquist well versed in oppressive societies do an analysis of the power plays in this dialogue
    May not have been intentional
    but there you have it.

  • Again Elizabeth reread your words!!!!!!!! ” I have found a way to get many people get past their mental suffering.” I am not denying your knowledge base’s truth or ability to help folks. You are not a savior and your terminology is still problematic in my eyes. That’s what got Carl Whittaker, the famous family therapist, in trouble – he drank his own cool aid.
    I think most psych survivors are open to new helpful ways. The terminology you use is important. Mental suffering my foot! Let’s do the time warp again! As far as I know you have no idea what suffering really is. It would be helpful to take off that mask. Get in the mud and find a way to describe trauma issues, nutrition issues, medical issues – pellegra sp? – actually did cause altered mental states as well as syphllis – the environment ! “Silent Spring”.
    I was also a LISW for twenty years in the trenches of urban areas and severe trauma, humility is everything. Again think on it.

  • I understand but everyone needs to think long and hard on how to dialogue with each other in order to change things as the are.
    First is respectful listening with a vocabulary of compassion.
    Then there needs to be an acknowledgement that we all have hidden or visible trauma.
    You can’t be human and not have it.
    You have to take off the masks and get down on the floor
    Some folks do it better than others and it is a learning curve.
    See the musical
    “Fantastic” and “The Madwoman of Chailot” in particular the ragpickers speech.

    And we have to acknowledge we are working on a puzzle with no box top cover to follow.
    We each have pieces and it will take time and effort and mud and dust and ash to deal with the process.
    Psych survivors like myself suffered trauma in treatment and in life circumstance or with something.
    Our feelings and needs for the ability to acknowledge and help deal with inherent triggers in dialogue had to be understood and acknowledged.
    I am very aware that if I use my name and degrees it will be seen and heard in a different light then if I use my name here.
    Same person two sets of realities.
    The voice changes and the stigma begins when you state your full reality many many times.
    Before my time in the belly of the beast I was aware of psych survivor movements and some in the professions.
    At times the ones who opened up were gossiped about and derided behind closed doors.
    I hated that as well and I am so sorry I was not able to stand down their words.
    We all carry baggage memories of what was done and what we could have should have done.
    My concern with this blog was in Elizabeth as well intentioned and so well informed could not hear my plea for compassionate listening and then responding
    She has replied so Thank you for that!
    What is so hard in saying I
    Oh I am sorry
    I never thought about that aspect
    I will try to keep that in mind.
    Not expecting perfection here just real humanity
    Thanks for your reply.

    I am sorry for the hard times.
    What would your family member think of all this?
    Could there be a dialogue?
    Please think on my thoughts8
    Mary

  • Did you hear me properly Elizabeth?
    Again you used the word mental and you totally ignored the current untenable situation with South Sudan which hilights terrorism and trauma to the max.
    You used the word “they” in a pejorative manner not taking into account or taking the responsibility to share with your readers a fact that every nutritional student in college knows the pervasive desert islands of grocery stores in urban lower SES neighborhoods.
    And the pervasive in your face marketing of the Big Pharma of food companies. They all use the same playbook. They all make tons of money off of us.
    You may have interesting information but that and a cup of coffee will help no one and only continue to hurt your soul.
    Until you allow yourself to go from they to we you will be worst than any the worst of us
    Until you can share in the human world you and your work are nothing
    You are like the APA NAMI Big Pharma all the moneyed interests that care less for others than for themselves
    Read the latest on Syria
    Read the recent books out on mass incarceration
    Read about The Lost Boys of Sudan
    Have you ever once talked with a refugee?
    I have- a family who lived under a card table on the Main Street of Phom Phen sp?
    Have you ever talked to a grown man who was a lost boy? Gentle kind men and so so very fragile with the torture they survived.
    Have you ever spent time with folks in deep deep trouble and trauma?
    Have you ever experienced times if deep deep trouble and trauma?
    Until you can honestly claim both and use the vocabulary of compassion
    Don’t bother replying
    And BTW
    Check out
    Cry the Beloved Country – one of the first of many many good reads on Aparthied.
    Mary O’Malley MSW MFA

  • I do recoil from the term mental illness. Actually it’s a trigger but in order to dialogue with folks until they become more aware I will merely mention my discomfort and put it on the table.
    Please think on it. Your ideas Elizabeth are interesting and very worth consideration as one piece of a multilayered puzzle.
    Where and how that piece is located is still unknown.
    If we take off our 1 st world glasses and take a very painful look at let’s say
    South Sudan and child soldiers who are returned home in apparent altered states nutrition would play a role as well in a big way trauma
    And how do we heal these children much less our own foster children who are experiencing devastating but different trauma as well
    Healing costs in time – money – labor intensive with each individual persons own code so to speak to and for maintained healthy living.
    Cry the Belived World

  • Yes but there is a important historical caveat here. Dry eyes is actually a dumbed down terminology for Syogern’s Syndrome sp? It is related to the immune system and immflamuation
    . It has a high cluster for females. The term has been used for decades and was never something that any of the docs I knew got excited about. It’s an inconvenient but workable medical issue for most people. Having a elderly relative with it I know it wasn’t pleasant but not overwhelming.
    Like most of these issues, I would prefer more research and exploration of nonpharma interventions. Always, always with every medical or actually human issue money and its intricate loops get in the way of good kind just merciful medical intervention.

  • Wow. Thanks for this.I this I was swatted. More than once I fear. At least it gives mea framework to put my situational memories in perspective. The first supposed swat took place with a neighbor who was a tenant of the rented house next store, and whom I had welcomed into the neighborhood with cookies. It was a bizarre scenario and I made a one sentence statement in a traumatic moment ( when family privacy should have been respected) and she gleefully said very out loud,” I know what’ll I’ll do I will call the police!”It was an act of such nefarious stupidity with waves and waves of ramifications that I would do anything to take it out of my memory bank.
    I am glad to know that this is an actual problem and that I am not alone.
    In all my years as a professional Social Worker mother, neighbor,cousin,friend, daughter, sister, niece, peer, I would never ever do something like that to anyone. There are ways and there are ways and our society. really needs to get our act together for all of our sakes. Thanks for the Lind

  • Well hope springs eternal for change on all levels but without complete destruction of everything. I worked with sexual offenders. Not to wash away everything is difficult, hard, and the easier approach would be to throw away the key and prison for life. But then we would not be helping ourselves and would be like so many times in history the oppressed become oppressing. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.I prefer the mud fight messy smelly and difficult and very yucky truth to power is like that. So yes I am not saying be pollyanna all the time but thinking on it, allowing for the possibility that there were underlying and overarching reasons for this horrific fiasco of dead lives and so so much hurt – what happened can never ever be totally undone or forgotten but as Rumi says there is a field beyond right and wrong and for everyone’s souls when the terrible truth is hung out like clothes on the drying line after the the truth telling the penalties and there are always penalties we need to walk into that field together. And I acknowledge some of us will be cursing and none to happy but thats okay nothing in life if perfect -we live in the land of maybe. And my rage has been extreme and ongoing and I still find pockets where I want to do more than scream and yell. Even throwing bricks seems not enough.
    And I know of all the range of issues, all of them and I still say this there are few folks who can acknowledge all of the pain they have caused. It is a learning curve and for some very difficult. A step is still a step to the field. It is the only method I know and have read about that continues life past those awful moments and times of the horror of humans actions done to other humans. The song is a dream hope and dreams are needed.Anger can never be all in all – it will consume everything.

  • Thanks for this. This should have happened long, long ago but I appreciate reading about this. I knew even before I walked through the glass mirror that things were not great and in some places down right bad. It seems things were horrific in many areas in many ways.
    And yes we do need to unite. I love the last song in “Your a Good Man Charlie Brown.” It is – in its very essence – the only way, moral ethical, golden rule way to make this stop and pick up the pieces that remain and the lives that have not yet been lost.

  • Thanks for this Sandra! I envy your ability to speak out clearly and strongly to your fellow peers. I still don’t know how that would go with my college peers. My school was very business orientated like a folks went straight into CPA work and or MBA. The rest of us humanities folks were in the minority.
    BTW. Whatever happened to the medical ethics trend in medicine? Cleveland Clinic did have a designated medical ethics professional on staff who once taught at my college and I actually was in his class. Talk about Upside/Down world. I was being treated by unethical psychiatrists and I was the one with the college credit in medical ethics taught by leader of ethics at a major hospital chain. Way to go medicine!
    Again, thanks. I appreciate your trying though having been on both sides I can get frustrated with process. This was a great effort.

  • Thanks and my very empathetic sympathies. Yes -otherness – is the crime. Look at the horror of Rwanda between two groups of people both sides vilified by the other. In Irish history – to be an informer could get you killed- reasons of why notwithstanding. In stories many are simple folk beset by their own issues.
    Getting a SS check is a red flag. Fear rules. The entertainment industry has colluded with this
    Maybe we need a Untied States of Otherness? That or the island of misfit toys for real.
    We need to unite and work together past all the self and other imposed divisions, barriers, walls, and obstacles. We, Us are such important words. Glad to see you are so brave and active.
    Are you fearful this will happen again? Or with this just the perfect storm? When this does happen how does one cope with the fear?
    The funny thing is most police officers , many have their own issues and many are in or in enforced treatment themselves – a whole different issue MIA needs to shed light on.
    I would surmise like Sandra’s recent blog and others we are all at the mercy of a few and boy have they done a slam dunk job at pulling the wool over all of our eyes.
    Unite!

  • Back in the very old days our local, city hospital was called the Pest House. It was called that because once you went in you usually never came out or if you did survive you were usually compromised with infection. Samelwise sp? was a medical person who realized the concept of infection but it took twenty years for other medical folk to believe him. So when people did need medical care they would delay and then in the delaying if it could have been cured it was too late. This happened to a relative. There are cycles that different systems go through reform -corruption- reform -corruption. Some cycle faster than others. Unfortunately , we are lucky to be living in massive corruption. If only we can be lava for the reformed part!
    If you talk to old time nurses they will say there are big time issues with nursing care as it is done now. With a gray haired nod that it wasn’t perfect in any way shape or form back then.
    Even in ICU’s there is more professional stuff time at the computer monitor than patient care and talk time.
    And even the you are trying to do the 24/7 family caring – it is extremely difficult, draining, and very uncomfortable.
    And mistakes and problems still are present. Just getting an IV put in can be fraught and wrought. When they have to cal the Air Flight team to put in an IV tube for a young girl and you are on the phone to the primary doctor’s office and can never ever to talk him directly almost crying because the third attempt was a botch and the Child Life worker is looking at you like this is sh—
    So this isn’t just an elderly problem this is a crime against humanity. We are in the modern era and our medical care system is back in the 1890’s!! Thanks so much folks who brought this mess into our lives.I would blame the docs and other medical professionals who didn’t speak up loud or strongly, the government and the huge multilayered – multi factored medical corporate industrial complex that put greed ahead of every human life it touched.

  • Dear Suzanne, So sorry for your loss. It’s like an octopus- the systems we have to live in – so many corrupt tentacles that reach out and reel us in yelling or not.
    Yes medical malpractice help is hard to obtain and even when you do I am thinking there are gag rules and confidentiality agreements that make it. difficult for the word to get out to help and advocate for others.
    Haldol has been used for decades to manage patients. It find it appalling its presence is still around to hurt and hider human lives. There was a so called “geriatric dose” in the early eighties when I was working in a urban centered hospital. Trouble was many of the residents and interns didn’t know about it and wrote out full dosages.
    Sundowning is an issue. I wonder now if it has any ties to medicine side affects. Way back some of the nursing staff did try to mange folks without resorting to chemicals. It depended on the affect given by the patients. If you were humorous or easy – no problem.
    Improv is supposed to help with folks. I highly doubt hospital and Nursing Home staff are trained in this type of technique in any way shape or form.
    In our area there was a Elderly Facility Ombudsman which helped families with all the stages of pre admission and then on. There actually was a book written – “Tender, Loving Greed” by a woman who went through something similar to your awful story.
    In some states, private for profit nursing home facilities were used to take on the flow from closed down state institutions – so much for true and real deinstitutionalization.
    I have found some of the newer for profit hospice outfits appalling. Hospice was started with St. Christopher ‘s in London England. I do not think Elizabeth Kubler Ross envisioned the corruption that has taken place in our health related society.
    And yes every person in a hospital bed should be allowed to have family and friend 24/7 support. That this is not allowed in psychiatric facilities is beyond the beyond.
    I would hope some day we can if possible a national day of mourning for those killed by medical incompetence. Maybe a wall? as in a wailing wall not a border wall!

  • Yes Johanna! Absolutely and include in that private prisons! It is the corporationization of the medical-industrial-gorvernment complex. I am thinking of Henrietta Lax here. Her cells provided millions to research and brought about so much for other c cancer patients and look at how she was treated. It was only after a book came out that there was some compensation for the family and even that was wrought.

  • Thanks Sandra and thanks for letting us know how and why you posted this. They wanted exposure to MIA but didn’t want to risk doing it themselves.
    Why don’t professionals who write in the so called ” Mental Health” field write books with their patients and not just their stories. This is co – opting people’s pain for profit. There have decades of these almost narcissistic books where patients lives are used and the “slaves?” stories are used to give them money and media presence and the nefarious coat of wisdom.
    Again, First Do No Harm is forgotten amid the rush to more money and celebrity.
    Where are the morals? Where are the ethics folks?
    Askforcor. I am so sorry for all your family and your son. Yes have him write here or anywhere. Also if you found some NAMI support lucky you! But you have a voice all especially those in power in ANMI and behind the curtain need to hear! Write more! Good luck with concept of community. I like it a lot although I still maintain heterogeneity is healthier than homogeneity.
    With my cousin who had Down syndrome was in both worlds. Her parents said that doing to much out of her Downie world would stress her and she needed to go back to her community. And she was very very well aware that she was different. She was a great rebel and out of the box person. So community needs to be balanced with other communities as well of all kinds. Balance. That is the question of the ages!
    How do well interact with who we have born with our birth tribe that will never not be and then the tribes and clans our lives have given or thrown at us? Can we all take off our masks some day and see we are more like than different.
    Sandra this is the problem I see with your profession though it was less so in some ways is the psychoanalytic days when all shrinks were supposed to undergo treatment at least the shrinks were walking around knowing they had their own issues. With the advent of biological psych this got thrown out the window so that the wall between doc and patient went up higher and higher. This also happened co-currently with the entire medical profession with the demands on paperwork and the disinvestment in society for caring professions.
    My question to you would be since I won’t buy their book. I would say boycott for their lack of courage. And letting you be their whipping child – the question would be did they understand the concept of therapeutic milue and were they well read with the more humanistic professionals such as Redl, Mahler, Fraiberg, Moustakas, Satir, Mosher?

  • Thanks for this Tina. The Native Americans have had such medical, psychological, environmental traumas since western civilization crossed into their lands. It is amazing that they are still standing and fighting! It gives me hope like with other minority confluences of human groupings. So many abuses and deaths and yet we humans still rise.
    Matt, I hear you and I still struggle. I need to be able integrate my lives as a professional, parent, and psych survivor. Some of the things that have happened have been a pink-slipping while I was at a bank. The memories are torturous. I have outed myself in the past to problems. While I did the NAMI thing
    ( I had no other place to turn to talk about my hospitalizations and med concerns. I had never felt comfortable with them as a professional but I was so lonely and so angry. I thought I would give it a try. It only made things so much worse)

    I sent a letter as they suggested to neighbors asking for money. Bad idea I know. And stupid me in solidarity with others used the word ” schizophrenic”. I think that damaged our whole family in the eyes of the neighborhood. And it damaged me when they would call the police on me. It damaged my children and my husband ( a metal health professional) who was so very very ignorant ( not sure why as of now) of what was happening.
    I am super aware of ” the change of tone” many people use when you self disclose. And the problem is you never know who will be prejudiced and who won’t be. It ls like playing Russian roulette sometimes. The risk can be great and future ramifications can have a long road out.
    I would self disclose if I was in a safe space, with a community for support. I don’t have that. I feel the need to move but family issues are still keeping me here. The expsych patient as parent. There are worlds of issues that never get to see the light of day that we folks deal with unable to speak about them.
    So I have done gutsy things. When the bank had the police and EMS I shouted on purpose Michael Brown, Sandra Blonde and when they tried to put in the van I acted out again verbally saying I was a traumatized female and being surrounded by a circle of uniform men was traumatizing in and of it self. For that I was handcuffed, face masked and restrained. So I can be gutsy but sometimes not in the healthiest way for me. I can only hope I gave those men nightmares – so much for serving and protecting. I called them out on their diagnosing of me. I called them out on my history with diagnosing and doing so much better with folks than most of the psychiatrists. And the shrinks knew it! I could have told them my story. That was not allowed.
    This was an awful incident that never should have happened. The whole thing on police involved in mental health is something that is another issue. I can’t imagine any police officer who wanted to go into that type of job have the desire or the personality set to deal with people in crisis. Communities here and everywhere need folks who are trained and willing to provide emotional CPR or whatever to deescalate and help instead of traumatize and hurt.
    So I still need to cling to my pen name. When I have integrated all my history of trauma and abuse and feel safe then I can come on board.
    Could we have an encrypted site for this and for organizing? Organizing again for me is traumatic. I really don’t want to do do the acting out piece again. It wasn’t fun. But I would be willing to share my ideas.

  • Thanks for this Sera and your commentary Tina.
    I would prefer impeachment but can understand why folks are using the view of a compromised president to make s change.
    It reminds me of Riyadh Kipling’s Captain Couregous .
    A vain and nefarious rich young man learns about true courage and kindness from a Portuguese immigrant – Manuel who died saving his life.
    The rich and the celebrities have been godified and are above the law and common human decency expectations.
    Not all but many and our President is a text book example.
    I hope his time can be shortened without the use of psychiatric labeling.
    We seem as a society to be trapped in unhealthy thinking patterns. We will be paying the price. Interestingly, Kipling was caught up in this circular logic during the years and at the start of WWI.He believed in the cause and actively pushed to get his son in the war effort. It took the death of his son and the true carnage of the battle to open his mind.
    Thanks again.

  • This is so frustrating to read not only because of the study but where the study was placed for the general public to read.
    Science always has a place but the complete lack of focus on the infant’s physical,environmental,medical and family variables – in my eyes-negates the results.
    I wish media would have a for every new study or research paper there also would be published another on the same subject matter but with opposite results.

  • Dear surviving the system and Sandra and others,
    This was an interesting dialogue it is a start. Thanks all for your thoughts.
    I think the pain of folks here is palpable and strikes me to the core because I feel it as well. I do wish I could relive my 16 years and undo it all and excise the memories especially the really really bad ones.
    Sandra if you are reading – undoing is on of Anna Freud’s defense mechanisms. Have you read her work?
    Children use it and so do adults though one would like to use sublimation more.
    The damage we have suffered like so many humans do through the Agee is done. No matter how hard we sit for it not to be.- it was. So what do we do with justified anger and outrage. We can use it for good and we can try to let go with forgiveness and acceptance. Not an easy task especially when MH professional folks are unable to go the full ten yards with the idea yes bad things happened, we are sorry, and although we cannot change your past we will try to make amends.
    I think Sandra you personally and others are struggling with acceptance of this paradigm and I thank you for the initial efforts.
    One way might be a medical record line line tool to strike out the label and diagnosis in our charts. Some sort of mechanism to undo the label forever.
    What do folks with Type II diabetes have in their charts when they successful end the issue by diet and other means?
    Maybe this needs to go throughout the medical world.
    Strike Out the Diagnosis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Thanks so much for this Matt. And thanks Lloyd for bringing up Margret Mahler’s work with whom Selma Fraiberg followed. There were issues with this approach but lots of important good things if a person who was in trauma and crisis could get a person like Lloyd. Not many around the country especially these days and in our recent past.
    It made me want to cry reading this because if I had the option this is a person I would have gone straight way for help. I was never able to reference Mahler, or Fraiberg Or Real, or some many other folks because they people who were on the insurance boards or who saw me were unaware and uninformed and I was in too much of crisis to be able to think about what there knowledge base was.
    I was being evaluated by folks who had never read or s studied what I studied and never had the intelligence, medical and professional ethics, and curiosity to ask or see me as an intelligent professional and parent with loads of life and yes maybe even goodness to share. I was seen as other and as a dangerous other. This is what I s till need to cry for. The drugs and trauma took the ability for me to cry away. I have times where I think I should be crying But am unable to start. Because of the lack – anger is easier to draw upon. Bad all the way around.
    The idea that Lloyd articulated so well of the opposition an anger and rage being legitimate emotions and steps up the ladder of life development is so true and so very very very MISSING in our society and in the psych world. Greed and little minds and extremely tiny hearts rule. And how can they all sleep at night?

    Matt, I think you need to do some research on Aeuspcalian sp ? Authority. That is the contract that lay folks consent to when having a medical issue or crisis. We give power over to professionals who are suppose to help. The contract in psych world has always been corrupt ( looking at its history) and there have been bubbles of times and only in certain lucky places where the contract was not broken and it worked.
    There will always be sickness and there will always (if we survive in our world of ours as it is today) people who have been traumatized in primary ,secondary, or tertiary ways.
    How can we put in place a working contract for dealing with this in a healthy way?
    How. can we create a new paradigm of healing for all?
    Lolyd’s way created way problems too – see and read Se Miller’s “Family Pictures” for what went wrong with that approach in the past.
    There will always be mistakes made, errors created even with all the best intent in the world. The proverb ” the path to hell is paved with good intentions” is around for a good reason.
    How can we all redo and put in place the idea that nothing is perfect, anger will there for good and sometimes not good reasons, but the idea that
    trauma doesn’t have to be a fuel for misery, it can be a tool for strength.
    We cannot be afraid of each other. How to teach empathy to folks who are committing abuse of the A sp
    contract and how to get them to apologize for what they have wrought?
    We need a framework and we need a think tank.

  • Great Idea. Good Luck.The DSM was only supposed to be a codifying tool with the use of symptoms that never were based on anything scientific in the best sense of the word.
    It was all about human being ‘s observations of other human beings with a nonegltarian bent.The observer had ultimate control of the observed.
    There was as in all medicine a silent agreement that this relationship and balance was in the best interest of the patient.
    people yielded to this relationship with the hope that the entire ethics of the Hippocratic Oath would be abided by.
    If one was lucky with being at the right place – at the right. time – with a ethically good person. One may have been helped. Ultimately many, many folks were not.
    The idea of trauma and sense of true medical ethics was smashed.
    It became a handbook for another round of snake oil salesmen like the Victorian Medical medicine men whose practices preyed on the so called “hysterical female.”
    Let’s bury the book.

  • Thanks for all your commentary here.Life just has been so hard for your family and that is so unfair. I am glad that your daughter is better. Coming out of inpatient and even other monitored living arrangements is difficult.
    It took me years to begin to be able to verbalize what happened to me and I was a former mental health professional.
    Continued good luck and hope for some peace.

  • Thank you Katie for this. It describes so well the dilemma we as psych survivors or folks now in various levels of the system on various sides of the system have to face.
    When I was in as a professional there was a lot of gossip about folks who were professionals who had come out about their history. Many times it wasn’t mean but there was a definite change of vocal tone and general sense of unease at best. Worst was the mocking.
    For awhile I followed NAMI and that was the worst choice of my life. Telling usually doesn’t help since we are never given passes.We are always watched and beholden to others.
    The sad fact is I think that many folks are taking meds and they don’t share that. That makes everything so much worse!
    Glad you have your space. I still open to find it someday.

  • Well it seems as if this is a better alternative to just drugging I have some concerns.
    There is no mention of why the kids were depressed. Big important factor in assessment and treatment.
    The treatment scenario highlights multiple approaches and seems isolating
    What must kids need – if they are safe are peers fun and a way to get out of their me-ness.
    Some of these approaches work but should be done in a community setting.
    Volunteering,job, creative activities,art,music,theater,comic book club, whatever works and fits best.Parents – even ones with great weaknesses- still know their kid best
    Some need lots of help -some just need a different pair of eyes
    Kids just want -desperately need to feel okay about themselves and to be able to contribute somehow to the world
    Riding a bike – same process
    Each person is different but most of us are able to learn or there are creative ways to make it possible
    And btw DBT is for the birds- not in a good way

  • Thanks for this Sera. This has been an ongoing issue for me. I remember an episode of ER where the adolescent was being drugged and wanted to stop but was not allowed to. The leap from “Splendor in the Grass” to this movie says sadly too much.
    I find the concept of DID interesting because for me going into the psych world and then trying to do the psych survivor world it is like having different personalities or living in different worlds or realities. I had over fifty years as a an “aware” but not really “aware’ professional and then my less than twenty years of psych world.
    It reminds me of the old children’s book”Caps for Sale” which cap am I going to wear today?Actually my memories keep all the caps on. But I still haven’t integrated them into my entire self. They are so bad, at times horrific in terms of hospitalization that I think I and others really need a ritual to process them and go on with life. Sometimes I escape the memories but that requires no integration. Some day I hope to accept all of me.
    The issues are so complex, so deep, and twisted I find myself getting snickered and then oh no sets in. Movies, and books, articles, and news so can all look good at first and then no.
    And how does on fight Hollywood? Especially when there is so much yes and needed – to steal from Improv- Yes for some folks meds work and for many others they really really don’t.Many don’t want to listen after the yes if you are working that way. Sometimes No is louder though less nuanced for better and for worse.
    “King of Hearts” and “Madwoman of Chaillot” are movies and or plays that show a less fearful aspect to psych world. We desperately need modern and better versions.

  • I feel the need to clarify my first post. I used Alice Miller because not only did she discuss childhood trauma she also discusses the systematic non-caring of children in our society. The rule of silence is golden is still too sadly true.Children now are products for advertising. How much money can they bring to the coffers?
    And when one is in the grips of the Big Pharma lie and one sees their child getting abused, or hurt, or in academic trouble it is easy to go for the chemical brass ring. It is the only ring one has at times or is given to you. To search out and follow through with other treatments requires time, money, and energy that many parents or caregivers just don’t have.
    Glad MIA is getting on the parent bandwagon. There also has to be the acknowledgement that sometimes parents are on the rat wheel just as much as their children.And how to we help those families?

  • Hi Margaret, Thank you for your sharing and congratulations! I can so understand where you are coming from on multiple levels. Its so hard when your are off medication and the people who are in your support network have no understanding of why you are on the journey. It would really help if there were support for people going through withdrawal. Kind of a support system people who helped out with those who were dying from AIDS. Not exactly the same level of seriousness but I think to be fair to those around us who see us in distress they need to have skills in helping us live and survive the distress. Another metaphor would be the ancient Druid schools where they induced an altered state. Most schools have PTAs and I would guess back then there was probably either a formed or organic support group for the families of druids or druids to be.
    I think the intent of NAMI was sort of like that but they were taken off course in one of the ultimate acts of evil I can think of.The Pharma folks saw an entrance and ran with it. Talk about birds of prey.I have tried and am still working through this with others. There is no societal pathway for this mutual experience to follow, I guess we are making it ourselves.Blood,sweat, and many ,too many tears.
    Good for you. I hope one day to follow in your steps.

  • Thanks Stephen an waitinseattle for your comments. Yes I agree not accepting the memories is worse than denying them. My problem has been twofold. I live in a state that just ended their one peer organization ( not that it was great but it was there) and I don’t have a cadre of peers to work through the memories – other than this site. It would help to have sometime processing them and doing some rituals and letting them release any negative hold. I don’t do advocacy or community protest or walking or anything now after the police incident. I do better when I am away from the state and the local. And some Social Workers are great. I think the divide I have found is because I would like a more peer yes I have been there component. That is missing and that is a big loss.
    It ‘s also invisible too. After the police incident which I ramped up on my own recognizance because I felt I was stuck no matter what I said and I was coming from white privlege so I shouted out some names and acted out. I know bad idea but I thought and felt I was in a corner and if there was scene I was going to make it a social justice scene.
    So now I am stuck inside. A religious group had Circle the City with love march and praying and handholding and no couldn’t go – twice. A group of friends that knew as me as nonmad – no can’t go. I can’t keep up the behind the closet door anymore but there is no safe way out. Triggers everywhere. I jump every time I see a police car. I have relatives who are police. Can’t visit or go there anymore.
    The bank that I was in. All. I wanted to do was talk about withdrawing some of my holdings – A t topic my family and friends knew I was thinking doing -the person that called the police. I have no words for her. My anger is hard and I am trying to forgive but it’s so hard to forgive when there is no Sorry.
    Eve, think on that for a while! How will the medical profession apologize?

  • I am glad you are brave enough to post here. When I read all of your experiences and travels and positions I did become envious. How to dialogue with and still acknowledge the position of power you come from and the position of not power so many of us here have experienced? I am glad you finally saw the light. There is part of me that wants to say,” What took you so long?” but you know we all have our learning curves and you are here.
    People have medications because they have been told by advertisements and friends, and professionals that every problem has a medication to go with it. So many folks are unaware of the history of psychotherapy and really good Social Work ( it did happen- not well all the time for sure -not much- but it did happen) The phrase “Better Living Through Chemicals” has been tattooed on many of our foreheads. This is not a choice this is being pushed into the quicksand.Brainwashing on all levels.
    Beside writing another book- What are your plans? I have always advocated a Truth and Reconciliation type of response to this problem but as many as noted this usually comes after the winning.
    I worked in and then fell into – was pushed into the system. With the ongoing flashbacks of past hospitalizations that I have found no way to totally divest myself of – the violation memories – my sense of self esteem, my ability to believe myself and my perceptions, my sense of safety, my sense of pride, my sense of well being has all been violated and damaged -greatly damaged by the psychiatric system of management and hospitalization practices that are more similar to Bedlam Hospital in England than not.
    It is great to have your voice painful that it is for me but I m more than willing to have you here! Welcome.

  • Thanks for this. As a parent and medical consumer I tried to avoid the ER as much as possible.
    I found repeat visits to docs sometimes were because of poor medical thinking and poor interventions.
    How can we have medical quality when there seems to be a continuous flow of problematic issues in the system itself?

  • Thanks Stephan I definitely feel that is a part of the problem. When I did field placement in graduate school I worked in a public school district where desegregation had. taken place. The problems was the students were bussed from the urban areas then to the suburban areas and visa versa. The faculty and staff remained behind. That effectively cut off the relationships the school faculty and staff had with the community and students.
    A Black principal could no longer pull out an irascible boy in the hallway and give him a lecture stating that she knew his grandparents and had taught his father. Her eyes and the community’s eyes would be on him. No more. I am not sure if this was a planned or unplanned consequence of this school district’s desegregation plan.
    I also miss the concept of front porches. So much has been lost in terms of the history and threads of community.

  • I would say as person who worked as a MSW on a urban city hospital’s general medical floor decades ago and as a parent with many children with many medical special needs, as a caregiver and support of friend, sister, husband, mother with Stage 3 to 4 Cancers, and as a person who was in the underbelly of psychiatry – the downward drift of all medicine has taken place at all levels. I would also include and consider other professions as well. As with teachers, government officials, police officers, therapists, there are still people who somehow survive the barriers and burnout factors to deliver. quality care. However in different ways and on different levels there are both small frustrating gaps and large overwhelming gaps. Some are systemic like the racism that is intertwined almost invisible in the systems, and then there is ennui enforced by paperwork and profiteering. All hail the bottom line of profit and greed to the one percent. Even medical professionals have become cogwheels and we all are less because of this.
    If you look at the complaints and problems of side effects for psycho trophic drugs which you have so often written about the — obesity, the Stage II diabetes, they are the exact same problems that have been growing in the general population and worse of all – in our children!. Our community has just been the canaries in the coal mine.
    Something has been lost in our communities, in our nation , and in our world. I can’t put my finger on it, but the loss is real and dangerous. Maybe it is the experience that African Americans and other minorities have always felt. I don’t know. Maybe it is my white status and privilege. Or maybe we all have been affected by something negative that still has no name.

  • Thanks Phil for taking the time to refute.
    In 1982, I heard the old sawhorse description of Psychiatry being 100 years behind Cardiology. Exact wording!
    Back then the docs were bewildered and frustrated because the so called existing bio markers were not appearing in any sound scientific way.
    My guess is with all the chemicals being thrown at and on folks like ECT there is a pathway of false positives.
    I did see one person really improve with ECT. One.
    And I have had family members improve on medication after trying to stay away.
    My own experience with medication and treatment has been less than positive down to horrorific.
    Placebo effect and other things were are not even yet aware of play a role.
    Research has been so badly designed and executed along with the co opting of BigPharma that it’s seems like a huge can of worms for all of medicine
    The other factor is the co-opting of patients” group by Big Pharma and other monied groups.
    One almost has to read every detail on the group’s website including board of director or advisors to be able to get a good peek st the true nature of the group and even then it can be hard.
    Medicine lost the do no harm ethic a long time ago.

  • I like your joke!
    Yes we need many other exposures and my reference was not real but at least they had a shaman character and good writing
    My problem was that I was aware but had so many issues to deal with and my brain being altered that I could not use my knowledge base or even really access and so much of my base was just within me or I was too embattled to reach out to those who could have understood or helped out
    Even those who were somewhat aware really could only focus on medication
    The psychiatrists that I interacted with as a patient I found to be worthless
    So May in the field have either left or become one with the system

    Your article will allow so many new dialogues!

  • Thanks for this! I enjoyed hearing about suffering ADA part of life and learning tool. So much and so many things covered.
    It is so frustrating not to have a “Nothern Exposure” life where folks are unable to have both medical viewpoints available to them.
    I loved the scenes with the shaman on that show and would have loved to had access to that option early on
    It wasn’t that I wasn’t aware it was and is the walls of inaccessibility.
    So much dialogue possibilities if we all had open ears.
    Reading time!

  • Thank you for this post. I think TBI needs to be highlighted as a hidden issue in the MIA world and in the Mental Health world. It would be great if someone from the NFL post concussion community would post blog.
    There are connections but the powers that be have done such a solid job of keeping everyone separate that it is so hard to make good and thus fruitful connections.

  • Thanks for this work
    Corinne.
    During the beginning of the Plague years in Europe the doctors used a phrase usually in Latin that said “patient gets worse with treatment”
    It took many years to discover the cause was due to rats but by that time many many folks had died.
    It might be a good time to read “The Pied Piper of Hamlin”
    Food for thought.

  • Hi
    I am putting my ten cents worth here.
    I was appalled at your like of knowledge of the history of psychotherapy and treatment.
    Please read writings of Dr Loren
    Mosher and read about Soteria
    Therapy has been done for decades and with some success especially in the priveleged status folks
    Trauma informed Therapy began with Dr Henry Kempe and the medical acknowledge ment of child abuse though we in America had Animal rights long before child rights
    Dr
    Judith
    Herman and now others have delineated the impact of trauma and we in the world have huge huge amounts of it that the powers that be would like to just cover up
    Trauma affects generations
    Read info on secondary trauma of adult children of Vietnam vets
    This is both PSTD and medical issues like Agent Orange.
    Also read Joanne Greenberg

    INever Promised You a Rose Garden” a fictionalized account and pen named account of recovering from psychosis.
    Read psych survivor stories
    Claude
    Beers and all the names my mind won’t come up with.
    Joanne Greenberg even has a wonderful book on a deaf couple and their traumas
    Did you know folk have different dialects and languages in sign and some would get locked up because of bad translation?
    Read
    Selma Fraiberg’s
    ‘Ghost in the Nursery’
    seminal article on Therapy for traumatized moms.
    Yes Therapy way back way back with No Meds!
    Read Fritz Reidel
    “When we Deal with
    Children” a book about residential treatment with you guessed it No Meds
    There is a lovely book written on homelessness by D C’s Community for Creative Nonviolence with a lovely introduction by either both or one of the Berrigan brothers.
    Read Nelly Bly’s account if her inpatient stay.
    You mentioned anxiety and issues with meds and you are here on this site –
    Do some hard research and come back and let us know your thoughts!

  • Thank you Jarrett for being braver than I at this point on multiple levels. Kudos!
    To you and Matt regarding DSM conniving.
    According to. DSM workshop I went to back in the day it wasn’t in boardrooms but basement rec rooms and kitchens. Though boardrooms were there always as invisible guests. The doc leading the workshop called what it was and is hanky pi
    This was known but somehow scrubbed out of general medical knowledge.

  • Thanks Bonnie for brining kindness
    I am still all over the place with a sitting spot but we do need a coalition.
    Once concern I have heard is what to do with traumatized folks if there is no other structure- a good point
    We are forced to build up and tear down at the same time which is not the best strategy
    But getting folks together is so important and maybe having folks be members of a lot of groups whether it is the best fit or not
    Getting other patients from other areas is important
    Fear is something that needs to be discussed and supports in some way put in shape
    This is not 40 years ago.
    The barriers around and in the Capitol are there and the guarding is there.
    40 years ago one could easily catch a hearing or visit a senator
    Protest gatherings can equal harm to some folks unless it has a veneer of societal acceptence right or wrong as that maybe.
    Even Saul Alinsky would only take on projects that had a 75 percent chance of winning
    Based on that we need to work with other voices
    work on implementing new supports and aids for folks in trouble and then do the end work
    Talking to ourselves despite getting support is too loop like.
    I am glad Bonnie had folks come out to listen to her talk and that should be one method we all should do
    Also take time to talk back about Carrie Fischer’s death.
    All media sources need to hear our viewpoint
    Join Talk Up and Allow others their view if it helps move things on
    We don’t have the luxury of infighting within our life experience
    Let’s just do what we all can
    And hopefully we can coalesce

  • This is important for all of us regardless on where we land on the continuum of MIA.
    It is important because we badly need more peers and cohorts.
    Medicine in and of itself like many societal institutions is self destructing.
    Rates for stressed out docs and the resultant issues are rising and most importantly even folks with cancer are beginning to question Big Pharma.
    There is across the board dysfunction and corruption.
    We have been the canaries and the coal mine is in big trouble
    Please don’t dismiss Stuart’s piece.
    For whom the bell tolls! – John Donne.
    Colalitions make much sense now more than ever.
    Rising voices of all kinds!
    And yes it won’t be plumb level or square- Alan Dugan
    But it will have the great possibility to create change
    We all can play pick up sticks after the victory party

  • You are right there are folks who experience emotion lability after a medical issue as a stroke or even pancreatic cancer.
    It was a problem in the past because no one knew what to do since the standard medicines did not work.
    So this is what good can come out of good research.
    I don’t remember my in law relative with ALS being impacted but I was parenting a special needs toddler at the time.
    I think the problem is that greed fuels so much of our medical/industrial/business complex.
    Then there is denial if the negative impact of many medical treatments and medications across the board.
    Medical schools many many times do not teach how to treat problems arriving due to treatment and medicines.
    It is as if they are fearful to admit their humanity.
    A good doc will always be humane and aware of the whole picture of a patient.
    The trouble is so many decide not to pursue medicine and go of to more lucrative careers.
    This is a problem getting worse rather than better.
    Glad your relatives were able to receive comfort.

  • For United States citizens there is a precedent
    In 1967 the Ford Foundation established funding for First Nation folks throughout the nation for legal services and help
    The collusion between Psychiatry and the legal profession is a huge Berlin Wall obstacle
    The prejudice and stigma attorneys cohabit in terms of even talking about some one who is different is bone chilling
    We all are doa when trying to get legal help for legitimate medical malpractice much like First Nation people’s,the sufferergettes, freed slaves caught in the web of slavery
    It all stinks to high heaven
    Let’s hope the more voices that cry out for all disenfranchised will as ( the one remark I liked that President Reagan said) Tear down that wall!

  • I was struck too by the juxtaposition of entertainment and politics colliding with forced treatment for Kayne and then Dr Judith Herman suggesting Trump be given an evaluation
    This timeline we are living in continues to be so bizzare
    I was watching OA on Netflix and thought that had a nice anti NAMI message and then no the guy turned bad
    T S Eliot had a breakdown before moving to England
    He just waited it out but his family did have money
    Theodore Roethke had issues all the time but I never heard anyone bad mouth him
    My fear is that the letter Herman wrote could put more of us in danger because now the Trump folks have to defend against it and any mention of disability
    Kayne may rue the visit
    Also Hitler and his armies were full of drugs
    Sometimes I think that is why our voice is not deliberately heard
    Too many are on the spinning wheel and don’t want to or can’t get off
    Docs smoking kept the tobacco industry in good stress for many years
    See old adds targeting docs
    e e Cummings is a great poet – interesting fellow write The Enormous Room after WWI

  • Stephan that is why for your very comments we need to have a TRAINED legal entity behind our backs like the activists have
    Standing Rock will be the norm I fear in terms of governmental and corporate payback for protesting. The fear is something I struggle with all the time
    One person told me always have a change of clothes but I really don’t want to live in that mindset
    STAT is open to ideas from readers
    I would push them and others to do a Nelly Bly
    Someone out there must have the courage because it won’t end with us it could easily be all encompassing- too easily
    And thanks Oldhead for the compliment
    More Emily Dickinson letter writing that I tried to learn from as a writing technique
    She was an outsider and everyone respected her as she was
    No police or docs!
    But we all should read “Howl”
    again!

  • Thanks for this!
    This area of need has been put under the nation’s rug for way too long!
    The abuse that happened in the boarding schools much less the whole history of the First Nation people since the colonization of
    Western Europe
    I think sadly of Michael Dorris who died too soon
    He was a wonderful writer
    Please send this to Sherman Alexi
    he his the only other – not including Standing Rock folk- First Nation person that I am aware of that has some influence in the world as it is
    Also a shut out to the memory of Jim Thorpe
    May MIA and others join with the First Nation people’s and all of the disenfranchised groups in our country to help advocate for help for the hurting in all ways shape and form

  • Yes Oldhead!
    Has Legal Aid been so decimated that they are nonplayers now?
    We almost need to have a major financial angel create and establish a law school chair for Mental Health Advocacy
    Also there used to be MSW/JD degrees that have the potential for help if they haven’t been brain washed
    Maryland used to have an Advoacy NGO that assigned both a JD and MSW to cases for the DD many were for getting out of the institutions
    at Great Oaks there units I as a field placement student was not allow to see and this was with my previous experience with being at a field placement state institute in Ohio and advocating for DDchildren placed directly from the state institute to a nursing home
    Maybe they were afraid I would act if I saw something
    They had had some issues to state an euphemism
    What and how did Dr Sidney Wolfe work on getting movement?
    Again Ithink on the book and entertainment industry there was a flurry of documentaries and movies and books on that theme
    Best Boy was a great documentary and Bill played by Mickey Rooney
    Again we have the brainwashing and the huge monies involved that make it so much more difficult now
    Activists now are using cards and have an established legal group to call when arrested
    at a protest
    We should have cards to hand out and legal help for those being pink slipped
    I guess we need an Anti Advocacy Treatment Center
    To have a location and staff would be so helpful to all here
    As long as there is punkslipping asking individuals to advocate by themselves is a lesson in failure
    All or nothing!

  • Welcome to our world
    I came through the same pathway and am still integrating why I became bamoozled by the med tale and how I live my life
    There is shame embarrassment and guilt that I knew better and still I became a walking side effect of meds
    I too missed out with my clients because I was unaware
    The only way I can see through this is to use your voice loud and clear and to find others to speak out
    Integrating myself has been hard
    Who am I – by what names do I call myself and still be true to all the prisms of my life?
    Step by step I guess
    Good luck you are not alone

  • Matt
    Thank you so much for contacting Dr Gold!
    That is what is needed!
    I would love to have her in a MIA round table FB discussion
    Dr Hickey is a great advocate but it is so clear he hasn’t been on a locked unit
    Akenthesia my foot- sorry Philip
    That is a normal fight response from a person who is or has experienced trauma
    And trauma is a locked unit!
    However thanks for pointing her article out and let’s do a round table live!

  • Thank you Robert
    I truly wish I could have been there
    I was in graduate school in D C during the time between DSMII and III
    It was the time right before Reagan became president and when the concept of Family Therapy was in full bloom
    It was a time when Social Work professionals had a long time history from 1905 that was more instead of less
    Good folks where on the front lines and even management had some heart in the Mental Health field
    Not all by a long shot but there had been the sixties and deinstituluzation and the war and that had allowed an influx of more open folks
    The DSMIII was not taught prior or right before that it was a disease model approach at best it was categories in line with GSW and SOB with medical labeling shorthand
    At worse it would be convent for insurance
    They were not meant to be seen as diseases but somehow they were co-opted as such during and after the Reagan era
    If one remembers that time there was a massive and extremely determental review of SSI/SSD
    I saw people die because of those reviews
    The DSM III also dropped which I now consider as us survivor myself label
    Ambulatory Skizophrenic sorry folks I have to do the TWAIN Huckleberry Finn thing here
    It was for those folks who had different or crazy thoughts but could function fine in society
    By taking this label off the powers that be in the APA effectively threw many of us underneath a semi
    I think one could say that was the watermark of today
    Back then med students interns of all ilks could come to open or were invited to closed reading of old literature- case histories- and academic journals
    Learning was made available and many of the time constraints were not in place
    It was all symptoms not disease processes
    When I was dx as borderline and psychotic that never ever would have been the dx before
    Reagan years medical processes
    The use of categories for biological processes is nothing short of medical malpractice except there are few docs who are still around which would could compare and it would still be not enough to constitute medical practice as defined by law as an incident outside community practice
    This gives me hope that someday the confederacy of dunces can be taken down

  • In order to expand all of our thinking
    Looking into other histories of oppression and exclusion
    I found Vold who quotes
    Foucault in Discipline and Punish
    He -Volf suggests Foucaults idea of binary division
    Mad/Sane. Abnormal/Normal
    and talks about carceral. mechanisms
    I think
    SJustuce Sonia Sontemeyer used this concept in one of her writings
    The work is out there
    I think it behooves every person dealing with otherness to research,read,and then act. And more is better – in this incidence than one.

  • Yes
    John!
    Go everywhere where they maybe folks open and or ready
    One of my other life stuff is car accidents and possible TB
    We were hit on Christmas Eve by a drunken driver when the kids were small
    Even now decades after it is hard to pull out the knots and tangles from just that one incident
    Go to all the places where others are at!

  • Note to all!
    For a person with finger issues from drug induced Parkinsonism
    and learning disabilities
    I have many some worse than others
    My posting typos are frustrating to the max
    The edit tool is unworkable for me at times
    This is another ism that gets lost
    Ableism
    I survived and almost successfully adapted to so called normal life with my slew of learning disabilities
    I passed many times and made it through with the help of sometimes a kind and intelligent secretary
    With the change in paperwork and concurrent hugely massive OMG life stressors I was an accident waiting to happen and before I became an almost train wreck U tried hard not to fall of the tracks by doing yoga and meditation even when none of my friends knew what I was talking about or doing
    They had no good 360 view of me
    Many family members too or the ones that got it were either dying or in grief that family folks were dying
    So please excuse the typos
    Some things don’t make what I really wanted to say
    So make those accommodations in your way and a better editing tool someday please!
    The tw prong disability really you know what!

  • Well it is great to see the dialogue even if it is uncomfortable
    So many of you I respect even if I don’t see exactly eye to eye
    Like Stephan G and thanks for standing up and telling your story
    The First Nation Story is so important and many times has been neglected by all the movements
    This forum for me is my contact but I want to add just some more thoughts
    When I had my school social work placement in Alexandria the school was officially desegregated but not unofficial
    It was just a transfer of kids from one school to another with staff and faculty staying in place
    The African American and White communities all lost out especially the Blacks because any subvert strengths the community had built were made roost turvey by this change that was not really a change
    So principals in the segregated times knew families in generational terms
    If you got in trouble you would know your whole family would know
    With the transfer of students this chain of communication was broken
    I think this happened to the disability movement or maybe we should say
    American Ither Movements
    It looked and walked like a duck but no it didn’t really sound like a duck even though the power that be said it did sound like a duck and it was a duck
    Ways to make things were while making cosmetic improvements!
    The de facto tool for segregation then became reading scores
    And the used to be a white school library murals
    I was stunned all white Western European story book characters and then little black sambo in a loin cloth
    This is whatmI think from Matt and others life story
    Until you walk into that type of room and the subvert racism you just don’t no you just can’t really get it
    And the powers that be know that and COUNT on that to divide all of us others in whatever way or shape we are as other
    I worked with two outstanding actually more African American professionals in the system
    As far as I can tell they have all left my locale
    Which says what I am still left to deal with here in the rust belt ble turned red state
    The AAPsychiatristvwas the one who suggested staff try a haldil pull to see what it was like
    We were all too afraid
    How I wish he would have been around when my life was falling apart
    I think he could have helped prevent me from getting into the system but who knows?
    I also had a great supervisor but again he also left the area
    I had tried to but family in the end made it hard to leave
    Anyway
    How easy it is for us to digres into our own stuff
    Have to be more aware
    California and the disability and other change groups
    Here I am thinking not only of the deinstututulization movements but all that the powers that be want us to forget
    When folks are making you angry or uncomfortable remember talk and dialogue is so important and no one is perfect and we all need to have eyes wide open especially now
    They don’t want us to dialogue that don’t want us to remember they don’t want us to make overt and subvert connections
    They want us NOT talking and NOT exchanging notes
    Have to remember the long history of otherness in human history
    It’s not just our times it’s all time and maybe if the worse is here we have a chance to at the very least create a wind tunnel if change that may not be a cure all but create a new pattern of life for ALL of us

  • Thanks so much for this.It has been a long time coming
    Dialogue is so important even if we slip and slide with our words.
    I always fee torn and worried because I ave been partly aware since childhood
    I am thinking now there may have been more of a family story that I was initially given since my family was aware of Paul Robeson and his life- my mother had membership in the NAACP-my grandmother talked of a quadroon student being a student in her Normal School-and my mother was very aware of the whiteness of state institutions for those folks family didn’t want to care for
    So I am wondering about this because it affects me and how I can interact and support without bein dismissive or racist
    I try and sometimes have gotten into trouble – being punkslipped-because I did make an issue
    My hardest part is speaking with folks who are dyed in the wool raciists. I don’t speak up or give up at the
    We can agree to disagree part because it seems a failing cause especially if it is a work or business interaction
    I just don’t give them any more of my business
    So thanks again
    We need to do more and I would love all of your thoughts on the recent SNL scene with Tom Hanks playing in the Family Feud game
    Interacting is so helpful to me in growing as a human being
    Isolation is intellectual confinement

  • It seems those of us who are willing and able have a week to put pressure on the Senate vote
    What we need is an anti NAMI NAMI group that would start up from a grasswork level and rise up using the best Alinsky tactics
    This would mean all groups in the game and I mean all would have to colace around each other even if it means holding one’s nose!
    This is not the time to engage in sibling rivalry
    So let’s make and create an activist umbrella organization
    We won’t win but by doing the act of creation a paper trail and stone path and road map would be created
    If Standing Rock can do it so can we
    Email me at [email protected]

  • Fingers issues again!
    Edit tool doesn’t work for me
    So I am fully aware I am reccomeding reading a white privileged male who had a breakdown in his twenties but was really never treated in the usual wa
    His first wife had tons of issues
    He would have been a NAMI poster child
    But his words sill carry weight for ALL
    Use that wisdom you have to do something
    I am trying but sometimes it is hard to get fear to strike out!
    Hope someone gets the reference!

  • I am assuming you are a person of color
    If you look into your history yes folks stayed far away except for jobs from the systems
    The gate is something you need to work through
    In the end it doesn’t work in the long run
    I have tried hard to use it and then let it go
    Everyone on this site needs to read T S Eliot quartets
    Wisdom
    “for us there is only the trying – the rest is none of our business”
    And I say this full well knowing he has been called an anti-Semite and other suff