Friday, October 23, 2020

Comments by Christopher

Showing 1 of 1 comments.

  • Thank you Jill for sharing your selection of the empirical evidence available to articulate your views, as an avid and grateful reader of MIA i deeply appreciate the wealth of knowledge and experience that is generated each day on this site. This is the first time I have logged on to share my thoughts on a piece that has caught my eye, and as I do so I am aware of most of the dynamics that constitute my perceptions of myself, and also the myriad of emotional reactions that are released when I put myself forward to participate and thus offer my self up to be judged, applauded, ridiculed or ignored, and this is because I have learned to pay attention. As a committed project worker in a high support mental health facility, a just published author and a graduate of a prestigious art academy in London I have come a long way from the run away, self harming child i was, and remained, for forty years. I apologize in advance for the detour into my personal history, but i feel, presumably unlike you, that my past experiences of trauma, degradation, victory, courage, cowardliness and kindness are implicit in the every day living out of who I am and what I value and how I go out to in the world to embody those values. Your statement about sport or other interests as distractions to be pursued to break the cycle of self obsessed rumination of trauma or grievances seems to me to somehow be evading the issue, they may well serve as temporary diversions, but in truth, I have found that you can run but you can not hide forever. There comes a time when you have to stand still and face everything that has gone into the making of you as a reactionary puppet, bouncing on strings of self pity, shame, rage, despair and hopelessness. For me this took the path of body mindfulness meditation. This was an experience I had to work hard for on my own, yes others helped by pointing the way, but ultimately it is an experience of you sitting still and letting all the demons loose, slowly, patiently and returning to the breath, and then feeling where in your body it burns, it could be your stomach, your heart, your back or your eyes, it could be anywhere, but if you are in pain, it will eventually surface and burn and then the trick is not to allow the script to kick in, to disconnect the interior monologue, to let go of blaming and hating and theorizing and sit in the fire, and then, perhaps, as Thich Nhat Han says so beautifully, you may hear a voice that rises up from some place deep inside, a true voice, the voice perhaps of you as a five year old child, I am here for you, it says with compassion and integrity, I am here for you, and no payment is required.