Sunday, October 2, 2022

Comments by Tea

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  • This is so scary, and I believe so the norm. I had some depression with a cause. It lasted for approximately 2 years. I went out on LTD at my job. Fast forward 8 years and I am part of the mental health system. I know in the mental health system, the more you explain at length what has occurred, the more evidence of your mental health issue being dire, but I will risk that and put this lengthy set of events out there.

    I have had a psychiatrist opened up this gossip fest releasing information about me to a doctor who told another doctor, and another—info that she never even got from me, but from Facebook and people who are connected to my estranged family. For the first 4 years she would spend 10 minutes with me and most of that was typing on I presume the last patient and then just ask me how I was sleeping, if I heard voices, how was my depression, and if I had thoughts of hurting myself or others. To be clear, my family broke off into camps when my elderly parents became ill and later passed away and it had nothing to due with any diagnosis real or imaginary that we are for long periods estranged into camps.

    It (the passing of tales) has become so bad, that I almost don’t want to go to a doctor if I am having ailments, because I know that by the second time they see me, they’re attitude has been adjusted concerning me, and they aren’t addressing with full focus the reason I came to see them. They in fact have doubts about whether or not my issues are real.

    I went into my online portal and saw this psychiatrist had diagnosed me with (after seeing her for medication management 2-3 times a year for 5 years) a new diagnosis. Bipolar. I asked her about it, and she claimed we had discussed it. She said it was when a doctor had put me on prednisone for inflammation and ONE DAY I came in and was talking fast. I reminded her that she said it was A manic episode due to the high dose of prednisone interaction with citalopram. She made a decision to cut my citalopram dosage in half until I came off the prednisone. Yet, she put bipolar on my record at that point and for that reason and it remains.

    My turnaround with my depression (although my depression started with a cause—it seemed to linger) came when a new PCP (who was not a part of the electronic records system-thank goodness) tested me and learned I was severely vitamin D deficient. A short while working on getting my vitamin D level up and I began to feel lighter in my mood and the depression was not this weekly right even monthly thing. I told the psychiatrist the next time I saw her, which was about 3-4 months after I began taking REPLESTA and then another type of D to get my levels of D where they needed to be (5000 IU daily in the end, because that’s how low I was). I ask about reducing the citalopram. She kind of acknowledge that she heard but said she just was going to keep me there. 4 months later at my mood is still elevated above what it had been by far when I first came to see her. Still refused to reduce. Then I asked why I was on resperidone. She told me it was because I was on it when I came to her some years ago. I had gotten this answer before. This time I wasn’t going to let it rest. I reminded her that a doctor had put me on it at a point I was having flashbacks. He said it was temporary. Then I switched clinics due to insurance, and I was stuck with it. I had never been on it for any of the years preceding seeing that doctor. Just citalopram. Most of my life without anyone ever checking a vitamin D level until I was in my fifties.

    Then someone told me she was discussing my information with someone outside the medical profession or was a grapevine. I saw her one November and ask her directly if this was the case. She said it was my paranoia and if you can’t trust your psychiatrist who can you trust. I found it odd she never asked who told me. Then she said she had not even discussed me with other doctors. This was November. I hadn’t seen her since July. She began asking me about a series of trips to the emergency room (they think it was an allergic reaction) at another clinic that is not tied into their’s and about something I discussed in my PCPs office. I ask her how she knew, and she told me that I told her the last time I saw her. I said I didn’t. She told me I was being paranoid. When I said I don’t tell her because it was impossible since I hadn’t seen her since July, and the series of allergic episodes or whatever it was never happened until October. She pulled this compassionate voice and said “I am worried about you.” And then wrapped up the session.
    So she is gone recently and I have been passed on to the next psychiatrist in the system who reduces the resperidom to 1 mg on my first visit with her stating that I talk fast after I told her all the women in my family (my sisters and my daughters) talk a little fast. Even though I knew I really wasn’t talking excessively fast. She said it to support the previous doctors stance, because it was my first visit or televisit due to covid with her.

    Then no sooner than I left her office she contacts another doctor who I told her I was making an appointment with. I knew because when I got on the visit, she says “so you have some concerns about how to wean off the old blood pressure medication while you are switching to the calcium blocker?” The only person I said it to was the psychiatrist. When I made the appointment with the other doctor, I simply told the receptionist I just wanted to go over some things I forgot to ask her about last visit. That’s it. Now that seems innocent enough, but 1) Why would you need to go to a doctor I am going to and 2) they have consistently lied about talking to other doctors. 3) it is causing issues in the other doctors treatment of me. I had a suicide attempt 35 years prior and a suicidal ideation episode 10 years ago. I have never been a danger to others. Why would you need to pass info on to other doctors that impedes they way they deliver treatment to me? I couldn’t get a neurosurgeon to believe I had scoliosis when the specialist he referred me to about my hip x-rayed and diagnosed me with it when she was looking into my hip flexors? He said he doubt that I had scoliosis, and then I had to ask him to check my records. Just wow. Then he said he would set up an MRI at the spine clinic. I mean I can barely walk between the scoliosis and the contracture of the tendon sheath and stenosis of the spine. He was friendly and open the first time I spoke with him, and then he very aggressively lets me know he doubts that I have scoliosis and he can’t find anything wrong with me. No examination other than asking me to stand and hitting my knee with the little thing. This was not the thorough guy I had seen the year prior who referred me to a joint doctor (who diagnosed me with scoliosis but things kept getting lost in the shuffle between my PCP and psychiatrist and emergency room and any other doctor I had to see since nobody wanted to focus on my symptoms once they got word about my psychiatrics and that, yes, I had recorded my psychiatrist. It was actually MY sessions due to things she was claiming we were discussing and then adding them to a record. I shared this with my PCP, because someone suggested I let a doctor I trusted know what was going on. BIG MISTAKE. She was fairly new to me. Now, want to avoid going into any doctor who is on the electronic records system—which is practically everyone when I am walking with two canes and can’t stand for very long.