Monday, March 20, 2023

Comments by Dix88

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  • Meant to say: I self-diagnosed at age 15 after reading a biography of the poet Lord Bryon. I told my father (who had the same symptoms) “Dad, I have this. It’s called manic-depression.” Dad & I both had the EXTREME manias/euphorias. He was a celebrated explorer/cartographer (with a mountain peak & a glacier in Antarctica named after him)
    Dad said: “You are not crazy. You are a poet.”
    When I was arrested at age 18 (for helping draft dodgers/AWOL soldiers get from VA/DC area to WVA where other “underground railroad volunteers would take them to other spots until they got safely into Canada)—for Felonies against the state, the kindly judge sentence my entire family to psychiatric care/therapy.
    I was put on probation for 2 years. If no more crimes, I could go free.
    The psychiatrist diag. me with schizophrenia & advised my parents put me into an institution. My father (who was part Native American, 1/3 Cherokee) said “this is a spiritual thing. She is not going to be locked up.” So the psych’ said “then I will put her on Haldol.” And he shot me up (I passed out on the spot).
    My mother (an RN) was glad to see me knocked out & she asked for meds I could take at home. So he put me on stellazine & akinoton, with periodic shots of haldol.
    I had previously had 8 poems published in an underground DC area literary magazine, paintings & lithographs shown in galleries, performed in plays etc.
    Now, I was a Zombie. I could barely speak or walk.
    After a conversion to Jesus (in the Jesus movement of the late 60s/early 70s) I became more lively & focused. So the psych’ advised the judge that I should be released from probation, taken off meds & allowed to go off to college (away from my “overbearing/hovering parents—especially my mother”)
    But my Mom was SO terrified of me going off meds or leaving home that I stayed until I finished 2 years of community college (with a 3.75 gpa). And I stayed on the meds, altho’ I began to “cheek” them & spit them out after about 6 months.
    I then was med free from nearly age 20 until a breakdown at age 45. After that, a team of neurologist/MD/psychiatrist found I had a seizure condition (3 types of seizures) as well as manic depression (mostly manias), OCD & PTSD from a childhood trauma.
    After 5 years, they found a “cocktail” of meds that helped.
    But this ruined my creativity (other than poetry, I’ve had over 45 poems published in various journals & anthologies). I could no longer draw or paint.
    Now I am in my 60s. Been on this stuff since age 45. I have to do depakote or the seizures mess up my life (passing out 3-10 times a month, etc.). But I’d LOVE to be off seroquel.
    I’ve been trying for over 5 weeks & am having the worst possible symptoms. My psych’s RN keeps saying “it shouldn’t be that rough” and “it will pass.” HELP
    Should I be in Rehab????

  • actually, this article Advises the use of seroquel. Bizarre. And I have tried ALL the alternatives (vacation to relax and restore instead of sick leave (time)
    food (taste) [berries etc]
    scents: lavender, jasmine, wild roses, lemon oil..
    exercise (endorphins)
    caffeine (may upregulate GABA)
    avoid real street drugs as they are dangerous (amphetamines, cocaine, cannabis etc)
    to no use (have never used street drugs.
    Am going off seroquel after 10 years. It is like going off heroin. NO sleep. severe diarrhea, shakes/etc. It is HELL