Thursday, November 21, 2019

Comments by Maya

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  • Exactly! Wasn’t it here on MIA, this post about a study published in Nature, about how “protective” it is, when SSRIs lower the empathy of those suffering from depression? For me, another problem I noticed was this extreme lowering of anxiety itself. OK, it can be great, you have no social anxiety anymore, you feel confident, you can do anything, it’s great. But besides of not being afraid of fun things, other people, living my life etc. I was also not afraid of death, pain, any consequences at all. ALL fear disappeared. I agree about murder as well, just did not mention it above, because it’s even more taboo. When I decided to stop with the drug, the first emotion that came back was actually aggression, before everything else. I noticed like I chemically somehow turned into a psychopath 🙂 From this experience, I now wonder, what if these drugs can directly, without any “psychosis” in between, chemically cause a personality disorder by changing the emotional profile (e.g. anxiety down, empathy down, aggression up) of a person and without this person being morally depraved? Still, most people who take SSRIs (anxious, not able to stand up for themselves etc.) would probably benefit from a very small degree of antisocial personality disorder 🙂

  • After a few days on SSRIs I experienced an extreme lowering of anxiety, to the point I felt no anxiety or fear at all. Other emotions were different or absent as well. For example, I felt very little empathy for anyone.
    As far as I know, these two are actually common and documented “positive” effects of SSRIs.
    I remember thinking about suicide. It was nothing special, just an everyday thought that I am sure everyone has from time to time. But this time thinking about it felt so easy, there was no fear at all, no worry about my family, no fear of death, no fear of possible pain.
    I was so numb that probably anything could happen, I would be just a silent observer of my surroundings, not able to react emotionally to anything. This almost emotionless state was extremely weird, something I never experienced before and never thought was even possible. My thoughts and beliefs were my only guide but even these were changing, becoming much lighter and carefree than usually. But still being in a negative thought pattern at this time, I now see that instead of noticing that I lost my fear of living, I only noticed how I lost my fear of dying.