I spent some time looking at different treatments and discussing the TMS treatment with people I knew and bothering people I did not know. One fellow told me that the MRI of a person who has normal brain activity is like looking at NYC at midnight from an airplane. Lots of electrical activity and brightness, lights pulsing and energy moving about. In a depressed person it is like looking at Omaha at 3 am from the same airplane. The objective of the TMS treatment is to get the patient’s brain activity as close to NYC as possible knowing, it will not be perfect. I liked that and it helped me manage my expectations. A neurologist that I was introduced to was dubious of the treatment yet, a biomedical engineer was less so. Still, the best conversation, which relates to your issue, was from an MRI tech. She said that effective treatment comes down to proper mapping, proper operator training, proper operator and program supervision and a good tech who is running the treatments. I agree. If the mapping is not done correctly by the MD psychiatrist, then the treatment is not accurate from the beginning. If the technician is not properly trained and does not adhere to formal SOPs, the treatment, no matter how accurately mapped, will be ineffective or in your case, dangerous. As well, they need to be properly supervised and monitored. I was a reactor technician way back when. We had formal training, testing, qualifications, SOPS and intense supervision. If anyone was lackadaisical, they were not successful nor were they allowed to operate the controls. All said, it seems to me that you were, perhaps, exposed to a program that was not properly run. I am not certain of long term effects as the TMS has a short term (year vs lifetime) effect. I do hope you are able to find someone skilled and educated in neurology who can help you diagnose and treat the deficits you are experiencing.