Friday, June 18, 2021

Comments by Zergendoff

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  • I have been diagnosed with depression, OCD, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder since I was a young teenager. I’m 52 years old now and have been on every SSRI, SSNI, and a combination of antidepressants including tricyclics. None of those drugs helped alleviate my psychiatric ailments. The SSRI’s were hands down the worst affording me a bevy of negative side effects. I have been seeing psychiatrists on and off since I was 21 years old. I was the first generation of psych. patients to be introduced to Prozac in 1990. Prozac was very effective in making me feel more depressed and peaked my OCD symptoms, anxiety, and allowed me to gain 20 pounds in two years time. It made me sweat profusely and I felt I was in a constant state of anxious malaise. Yet my first psychiatrist kept telling me that I needed to give the drug more time to adjust to (wasn’t two years enough adjust time?) and he eventually upped the dosage to 80MG’s. I ended up in the ER because I threatened I was planning my suicide to a family member. That was far from the end of my long walk in my mind’s dark alley. Fast forwarding from the 80’s, 90’s and into the 2000’s, psychiatrist after psychiatrist, and singing the same song about wanting me to try another SSRI…… Am I a glutton for punishment or just too stupid to realize that after 30 years of dealing with mental health practioners and not seeing any illumination in my mind’s pitch black alley, that I’d keep thinking, “Well maybe I just didn’t find the right doctor”. I decided I’d give another psychiatrist another chance because my depression was festering like a sabacous cyst ready to rupture. I was very close to acting out committing suicide. My sister found this “highly regarded, highly esteemed” psychiatrist for me to see. I’m thankful for my sister caring enough to try and help me through my knee deep problems, but this psychiatrist I went to see for only three sessions was a joke. He didn’t accept any insurance and charged $425.00 per session! This doctor wanted to immediately start me on Cymbalta and Zyprexa. Two SSRI’s!! I had explained my medical history to him the first consultation. I told this doc how intolerant to SSRI’s I am and that I had been on the two drugs in the past. No good. He then looks at me sternly and exclaims that, “you’re medication resistant and I’m recommending that you seek ECT”. WTF? Shock treatments!! I thought, what kind of idiocy is this? That is the end of the line for me and psychiatrists. Well, here I am 52 years old, having lived 40% of my life feeling like a piece of matter floating in a toilet bowl, spending thousands of dollars on doctors and medications that DID NOTHING for me, and what is it all for? Sure some people may benefit from drugs and psychotherapy but what about the lengthy list of patients who’re dumped on the side of the road because their docs just don’t care enough to go the extra mile for them. People who coo and get all warm and tingly about the “miracles” of modern medicine obviously haven’t taken an extremely bitter and bank breaking spoonful of everyday psychiatry.