Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Comments by pandoram3

Showing 2 of 2 comments.

  • Hi Jeff,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story. In a way, I had an identical experience, and I have heard this story repeated in so many different varieties. The bottom line is that yes, anti-depressants cause mania and all sorts of other things. It’s amazing that we have no idea how the brain works yet we are pumping people full of drugs all made in part by the pharma companies.

    I was 14 years old when I was put on antidepressants. I grew up in an emotionally abusive household, yet no psychiatrist had ever delved into that aspect of my life. I started having manic symptoms shortly after taking the medication and was an insomniac all throughout high school due to the medication. At age 18, I was admitted to a very prestigious, Ivy League school. Not only was this stressful, but my parents who had been at war since my birth, decided to get a divorce.

    I was in the center of that divorce and my symptoms got much worse. I was then diagnosed bipolar with the justification that if I was depressed and agitated at the same time, I was bipolar. Also, because I was not sleeping, this was also a symptom. That’s funny, because those are both side effects of anti-depressants. Quickly I was “treatment-resistent bipolar” and put on every drug under the sun. I was so drugged, that I could no longer function in school. I began cutting and I was certainly suicidal. I was also suicidal at age 14, because I recently discovered many poems talking about death.

    I then spent the next 10 years in and out of hospitals, constantly suicidal, and completely untreatable. I received every diagnosis possible, all in an effort to try me on more medications like a guinea pig – the highest dosages of anti-depressants (two at a time), lithium, anti-psychotics, sleeping pills, etc. I then was given a few rounds of ECT, but was so dissociated, that I could not continue. I also got myself into manic spending sprees and had to declare bankruptcy. When on anti-psychotics, I hallucinated and am amazed that I also did not receive a schizophrenic diagnosis. I also tried TMS.

    During these ten years, I pursued my interest in cars, so I was able to complete an auto tech education, but with many mental health interruptions. I then moved to Florida with my mom to be in the sunlight, etc. But, I was still heavily depressed and easily provoked into suicidality.
    The culmination of my life on meds, came when I met a very prestigious doctor in Palm Beach who told me that he knew why I never got “better”. He said it was because I was put on anti-depressants and that people who are “bipolar” should never taken these drugs. Ha, if I only knew then that the anti-depressants were the CAUSE of the erroneous definition. He literally told me to STOP the anti-depressants and I went into an extreme suicidal state. This man, the prestigious doctor, did not bother to taper me off. He felt, in his noble opinion, that I could not stand another day on these medications as they were the source of my ill health. This state of mind then caused him to put me on so many medications, that at one point I ended up on TEN medications. He then decided that I needed ECT while on 8 of those medications. I received 25-30 treatments. He also put me on Seroquel which caused me to gain 25 pounds in three months and tried to convince me that I had an EATING DISORDER and sent me to a friggin eating disorder center. This man was sick.

    I looked in the mirror one day, and I realized that I could no longer continue this. I, quietly and alone, studied the brain and figured out how to get myself off of the medications without any help. I was aided by meditation and vitamins. I wish I had read Dr. Breggins book before I had done this. Thanks to this doctor, I was already off of the anti-depressants and then I had to get myself off of 9 other meds including my 10 year friend called Lithium. When I went to him for check-ups, he kept noting that I was doing “so much better” and that it must have been the “Depakote” that he had just put me on. When I told him that I was off almost all of my medications, he threatened to drop me as a patient. Then he did.

    It was hell. I did it all in only 6 months. I should have taken several years, and I though when I came off, I would be bipolar. Nope, depressed and traumatized from literally having 10 years of my life taken away from me. I then went through serious withdrawal – dilated pupils, shaking violently every time I ate, diarrhea, dissociated ALL of the time. My senses were on high. Everything seemed so loud, tasted more pungently, my vision at times felt like it was in 3D. I often thought I was dying of various illnesses, and I spent much of my time researching them and taking myself to specialists. Little did I realize, in my constant state of panic, that I was just going through withdrawal and feeling for the first time. A year of this passed and then I started feeling my emotions for the first time. This caused me to be suicidal, once again. With the aid of DBT therapy, I was able to learn how to manage emotions which most people grow up learning to do subconsciously.

    When I had somewhat of a handle on things, I chose to do the hardest thing a person could do. I decided to go back to school. I think I was still in a state of disillusion – I mean, I was still suicidal, but I left Florida and went back to that Ivy League University with very little. The first semester was last January, and I was literally dissociated half of my classes. I had an excellent therapist who was working with me, who was also baffled that I had been able to get off meds and keep myself alive and then decide to go back to one of the most stressful schools in the country at age 30. I still have no clue how I am still living.

    I am now at my second semester at Penn, and I have miraculously arrived at majoring in Philosophy and Science; I hope to do bioethical work. My experiences with psychiatry have certainly primed me to know the system.

    It’s a miracle that I am still alive. The psychiatric community has done a number on me, and it has been proven by several people (my current and last therapist included) that I in no way, shape or form was EVER bipolar. I have no mood swings. I sleep through the night. I have to take care of my body in ways that other people don’t seem to understand – all because one uninformed, medical school brainwashed psychiatrist thought I was bipolar when my family was divorcing and I was in a ridiculously stressful school. In my life I have taken over 50 different medications, and about 26,000 dosages of psychotropic medications. I have been electrocuted, had TMS, have lost many friends, have lost a decade of memory and I doubt I am the only one. The system also failed to realize that at age 14 I had just gotten my menstrual cycle and that I also had untreated Lyme disease. Like, really? How much common sense do these people have?

    If you would like to check out my website, this is it: http://www.ericaliebman.com

    Also, here is an excellent link about how the DSM is contrived. This professor has written many books and lectured at my school: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYf1FnqFcrU

  • Hi Jeff,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. In a way, I had an identical experience, and I have heard this story repeated in so many different varieties. The bottom line is that yes, anti-depressants cause mania and all sorts of other things. It’s amazing that we have no idea how the brain works yet we are pumping people full of drugs all made in part by the pharma companies.

    I was 14 years old when I was put on antidepressants. I grew up in an emotionally abusive household, yet no psychiatrist had ever delved into that aspect of my life. I started having manic symptoms shortly after taking the medication and was an insomniac all throughout high school due to the medication. At age 18, I was admitted to a very prestigious, Ivy League school. Not only was this stressful, but my parents who had been at war since my birth, decided to get a divorce.

    I was in the center of that divorce and my symptoms got much worse. I was then diagnosed bipolar and the rest is history. Quickly I was “treatment-resistent bipolar”, and put on every drug under the sun. I was so drugged, that I could no longer function in school. I began cutting and I was certainly suicidal. I was also suicidal at age 14, because I recently discovered many poems talking about death.

    I then spent the next 10 years in and out of hospitals, constantly suicidal, and completely untreatable. I received every diagnosis possible, all in an effort to try me on more medications like a guinea pig – the highest dosages of anti-depressants (two at a time), lithium, anti-psychotics, sleeping pills, etc. I then was given a few rounds of ECT, but was so dissociated, that I could not continue.

    During these ten years, I pursued my interest in cars, so I was able to complete an auto tech education, but with many mental health interruptions. I then moved to Florida with my mom to be in the sunlight, etc. But, I was still heavily depressed and easily provoked into suicidality.

    The culmination of my life on meds, came when I met a very prestigious doctor in Palm Beach who told me that he knew why I never got “better”. He said it was because I was put on anti-depressants and that people who are “bipolar” should never taken these drugs. Ha, if I only knew then that the anti-depressants were the CAUSE of the erroneous definition. He literally told me to STOP the anti-depressants and I went into an extreme suicidal state. This man, the prestigious doctor, did not bother to taper me off. He felt, in his noble opinion, that I could not stand another day on these medications as they were the source of my ill health. This state of mind then caused him to put me on so many medications, that at one point I ended up on TEN medications. He then decided that I needed ECT while on 8 of those medications. I received 25-30 treatments. He also put me on Seroquel which caused me to gain 25 pounds in three months and tried to convince me that I had an EATING DISORDER and sent me to a friggin eating disorder center. This man was sick.

    I looked in the mirror one day, and I realized that I could no longer continue this. I, quietly and alone, studied the brain and figured out how to get myself off of the medications without any help. I wish I had read Dr. Breggins book before I had done this. Thanks to this doctor, I was already off of the anti-depressants and then I had to get myself off of 9 other meds including my 10 year friend called Lithium.

    It was hell. I did it all in only 6 months. I should have taken several years, and I though when I came off, I would be bipolar. Nope, depressed and traumatized from literally having 10 years of my life taken away from me. I then went through serious withdrawal – dilated pupils, shaking violently every time I ate, diarrhea, dissociated ALL of the time. A year of this passed and then I started feeling my emotions for the first time. This caused me to be pretty much suicidal all of the time as well.

    When I had somewhat of a handle on things, I chose to do the hardest thing a person could do. I decided to go back to school. I think I was still in a state of disillusion – I mean, I was still suicidal, but I left Florida and went back to that Ivy League University with very little support around me. The first semester was last January, and I was literally dissociated half of my classes. I had an excellent therapist who was working with me, who was also baffled that I had been able to get off meds and keep myself alive and then decide to go back to one of the most stressful schools in the country at age 30. I still have no clue how I am still living. I also got myself into manic spending sprees and had to declare bankruptcy.

    I am now at my second semester at Penn, and I have miraculously arrived at majoring in Philosophy and Science and I hope to do bioethical work. My experiences with psychiatry have certainly primed me to know the system.

    It’s a miracle that I am still alive. The psychiatric community has done a number on me, and it has been proven by several people (my current and last therapist included) that I in no way, shape or form was EVER bipolar. I have no mood swings. I sleep through the night. I have to take care of my body in ways that other people don’t seem to understand – all because one uninformed, medical school brainwashed psychiatrist thought I was bipolar when my family was divorcing and I was in a ridiculously stressful school. No one also realized that at age 14 I had just gotten my menstrual cycle and that I had also had untreated Lyme disease. Like, really? How much common sense do these people have?

    If you would like to check out my website, this is it: http://www.ericaliebman.com

    Also, here is an excellent link about how the DSM is contrived. This professor has written many books and lectured at my school: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYf1FnqFcrU