Friday, January 15, 2021

Comments by ilinx

Showing 2 of 2 comments.

  • I totally agree with everything you say. I also came to realize that trying to convince certain friends or family members that I *really* was sick, and that the very last thing I needed was to go back to a psychiatrist or doctor, was not only exhausting but counterproductive. Having to insist on what you are experiencing or prove what you are going through reifies the experience, prevents it from mutating and resolving itself. Letting yourself be distracted, not defining where you are… this opens your mind and body to allow healing. It’s as if you were to analyze every single thing you are doing when you ride a bike and describe it to someone else. It makes riding naturally that much harder!

  • Thanks for all your blog posts! You describe so well what it has been like for me to withdraw off antidepressants (SSRIs and bupropion). I often have said I felt like I was on a never-ending bad acid trip!

    Mid November will be my three year anniversary post-meds (after about 15 years of being on them and repeated attempts at quitting). I am doing better than ever, even feeling human again for long stretches of time (which does not necessarily mean I feel good… just free of strange withdrawal symptoms).

    Right now I seem to have entered another “wave” of bad symptoms, and it strikes me both how quickly I get used to being well and how unprepared I am to face the whole ordeal again, despite thinking I have gotten so much better at acceptance of pain. I have guarded against declaring victory, but I’m still disappointed every time I get plunged back down. It takes me a few days or weeks to accept and to embrace, to redouble my “efforts” in meditating and in waiting with no expectations.

    Reading this post, I wondered if you believe writing about your experience on here contributed in any way to your relapse. It sometimes happens to me that talking about what I went through at its worst can recall the symptoms. Although I also resist diagnosing what I went through as PTSD, there do seem to be similar mechanisms involved. It seems to have the same effect for me as being overloaded with noise or images, or being over-sensitive to caffeine or vitamins or over the counter medications. Not that any of those are predictable. Sometimes things I’m sure will be triggers have no effect. For this reason I’ve often avoided the very forums that helped me realize what I was going through was definitely not “in my head” and definitely a direct result of quitting psych drugs.