Comments by JD_Kennett

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  • Steve…that part I could almost deal with….

    It’s the re-opening of the 2005 trauma, with this now added to it, that is overwhelming me. These things tend to occur around September, the 15th being of significance. 9/15/87 my mother died. I was hospitalized once before in September. In 2021 I was hospitalized, and released on the 15t. September 22 I was laid off my job. I’ve only secured employment recently, at a significant cut in pay. I’m barely hanging on, physically, mentally, financially, and emotionally. I’m 59 years old, broke, beaten, and defeated. I cannot get therapy in this area, it’s a smallish-town, and I’m even finding it troublesome to get physical concerns addressed. A while back, when I had a few $$$’s, I bought a website domain and package, and was going to blog my story there. But I don’t have the energy. I’m beaten and defeated…and besides, who will listen? What difference will it make? The fact is, it won’t.

    I work 40+ hours a week, 2nd shift, because I can drive there by day, and creep back on backroads at night. I have advanced cataracts that I cannot get treated. The job is an hour away, so I have 2 hours commute time. I come home exhausted. On the weekends I crash. I do summon some energy to go to church on Sunday (yeah, I go to an Episcopal church) but that’s it. No friends, just two pets and one of those is going to have to have a vet appointment.

    They lock us up to “save our lives”…..and the results, in my case, was to destroy mine. And no one cares. They’re the experts, we’re the sick. They still tell the story, we don’t get a place at that table. They take from big pharma — and we go broke, homeless, or suicide. Silenced by their stigma and expertise.

    My apologies for rambling. It’s really hard for me right now.

  • I live in a smallish town in Missouri (Kennett) and was a client of the “behavioral health” center headquartered here, for over 10 years. I was badly traumatized in 2005 via a 96-Hour Hold (in Missouri, initial psych holds are 96 hours) when I lived in St. Louis, which, as it turns out, changed the course of my life forever.

    I’ve had some rough times — but I worked through. Then, in 2021, I was forcibly taken for a 96 Hour Hold again. This hold was initiated by a provisionally licensed counselor who I had spoken to over the phone, and never met in person. Her supervisor is directly related to an abusive manager that I worked for at a grocery store.

    The first line of this counselor’s Affidavit against me reads: “John is a 57 year old, single, homosexual, Caucasian male who presents with depression, anxiety, paranoia, hopelessness, and financial struggle.”

    This Affidavit was authored by a provisionally licensed counselor with a long list of conservative Christian credentials. She obtained her Bachelor’s degree from a Christian collage, and her prior experience is with Christian organizations.

    All through my time in counseling with this agency, though I told my story, the trauma I experience in 2005 was ignored. Apparently my homosexuality is the issue — to them. I have not been involved with gay people or the gay community since I left St. Louis in 2009 — after another forced hospitalization. I realized then all I would get in St. Louis if I reach out…would be a pair of handcuffs and a psych hold.

    The 2021 retraumatization was like it was scripted from that in 2005. Even the stop mid-ride to the hospital. Instead of getting abused by the cop, though, it turned out that he did not have the key to the handcuffs he had place on me, and arranged to meet with another cop for that key, at this particular location.

    This go-round, I made some feeble attempts afterwards at “clearing my name” but 2005 taught me that any effort would be futile.

    As a gay man with a psychiatric diagnosis I live in a police state from which I will never be “rehabilitated.”