Monday, February 24, 2020

Comments by girlygirl

Showing 2 of 2 comments.

  • I think that posting disbelief in mental illness in general contributes to the stigma that we who need medicine to live a normal life face. I had a great childhood, have a great marriage, and owned my own buisness. Then, all of a sudden at 35 years old, I flipped out and started thinking I was chosen by God to lead His army. I started walking and clapping and expecting people to start following me. I wore my shoes out before I stopped walking. I went to a church and lit all the candles and ripped the prayer cards off the wall. I thought my husband had demons in him and that I could see them in his eyes. The episode continued and I was finally hauled away by police. I didn’t have any idea why. I was taken to the hospital but didn’t know why. I was psychotic. I was treated involuntarily for two weeks. When I got out, I could not afford my medicine and as soon as I got off it, I got sick again. This time was worse. I got thrown down by a cop. I am a very calm girl normally. I don’t and never have been in any trouble at all. Nobody could contain me and it was not my fault. I was a victim of my illness. This was not fun and I have a curse of remembering too much of it, but I was so lucky that I did get admitted to the hospital again and had a good doctor. I took several days to come around because I would not take medicine. Finally I took it and got my mind back. A year later, I am fine. I have never missed a dose of my medicine and my doctor has gradually weaned me safely off the antipsychotics because she says I have bipolar 1 disorder. What I went through is a textbook case of bipolar mania in the extreme form. I now only have to take a mood stabilizer and pay attention to any changes such as odd thoughts, lack of sleep… Things like that. I think that many people have trauma and things that affect them for their whole lives. Maybe some people have mild depression that doesn’t need medicated. However, so many people really do need medicine and the medicines that we have now are far from perfect, but they do work. I am sorry there are bad doctors. There are bad primary care doctors, cardiologists, oncologists, radiologists, surgeons. The medicines can cause liver damage, hair loss, weight gain, and other health issues. So can diabetes medicines and medicines for other problems. If your medicine is going to keep you well so that you can live a full and healthy life, then take your medicine. I respect your views, but there was really something wrong with me last year, and the medicine helped. So, I have been classified as mentally ill.