Thursday, March 30, 2023

Comments by spemat

Showing 50 of 50 comments.

  • Part of the issue is that the addicts that root to ban all opiates almost always is a methadone for life!! type. I saw it first hand

    Maybe meth addicts in various unverified stages of sobriety can dictate narcolepsy and ADHD prescription management.

    I’m not saying it’s bad to have collaboration in this. But in my state, there was one out of five in the ethical spectrum.

    I mean, I see highlighted “substance abuse treatment” which include the “indefinite methadone/suboxone” maintenance protocol.

    I mean, the ones in pain deserve it but methadone for life!! That’s my state

  • Part of the issue is that the addicts that root to ban all opiates almost always is a methadone for life!! type. I saw it first hand

    Maybe meth addicts in various unverified stages of sobriety can dictate narcolepsy and ADHD prescription management.

    I’m not saying it’s bad to have collaboration in this. But in my state, there was one out of five in the ethical spectrum.

  • Dexedrine made me a docile angel compared to the rude loudmouth punk I was. It’s better than most side effects. And I serously was the “we tried the belt, beating, Ritalin? Lithium etc.

    My mom would “borrow” from the ones I had a battle and think I found out when she’s stomping the backyard at 4 am mowing the lawn while sweat drips down her sleepless, chain smoking frenzy.

    SSRIs and antipsychotic (very short term haldol in extreme states) both did nothing but make me ill. Lithium was awful. Risperdal Consta made me go from guy with 6 pack to “TWINS!”

    I’m glad to be weaning down.

  • I can say that I have read a few old articles about effects of dextroamphetamine with people based on temperament and the closest to someone hyperactive, tends to react in the “paradoxical”.

    And I feel like this rationale makes me okay as I was forced it early on. I just was that 1-2 hours of yelling in my end daily growing up. I mature and it has gone down from a max of 115 mg/day at 13 to 40-60 mg. And I never asked for it.

    I see a lot of the “don’t feel bad if you are still on X, Y, Z meds but this one gets that side eye. Chain smoking, 2 pot/day of coffee, maxed on methadone narcissists who are hardly sober to me make me feel like a crackhead. I know that caffeine amount that example drinks would make me panic.

  • Apathy is horrible with Dexedrine sometimes too. It does the same as it did as a kid and Lamictal is the only drug to keep that mood just gone. And there were a group of people who did respond to my seasonal moods. While I take Dexedrine, I maintain great sleep and eating hygiene. I have the classic response to that drug still so I would disrupt my life at this point and it hasn’t been 10 years.

    However even with a small dose of wellbutrin for awhile and maybe 20 Klonopin for a variety of things. My health us better than most but I know what to supplement. I am off antipsychotics.

  • I know that’s how it would help me because I get manic and psychotic. But I can get delusional and I think there’s just an over lack of stopping. It’s embarrassing thinking back but I am dealing with it better. It’s a spring to fall thing

  • I have taken Dexedrine since I was 5 and I am 36 and I am in great health and I get thoroughly checked. I know I am obnoxious when I don’t take them. I also rely on nutrition and exercise as well. I don’t like this drug my option tomorrow is to act like I am 17 or something. I hate it, I am just wound,

  • I’ve dealt with the “we’ll have you committed” nonsense when I wasn’t even delusional. I got manic though so I think that didn’t see it because was high on a good mood. I was psychotic during my last mania so my time to get off these drugs will come. I don’t get enough to abuse of anything I take. I want off though.

  • I can use klonopin but I only get 20/month and it’s to AID the bipolar/ADHD combo. I used to take Xanax. Starting around 13 I am however having a longer time stopping the ADHD medication, Dexedrine. Lamictal will be a taper down. I nutritionally supplement as well even though I am, pretty much off all meds. If a #20, 1 mg Klonopin rx/month is a threat, it’s minimal. I take Lamictal and amphetamines and both can have their moments. I take them all as indicated but I I have moments too. I came off Xanax and this hasn’t been anything like that was.

    I don’t like them. They are a better option that being put on an Antipsychotic since it is an alternative to that. I do have ativan and haldol. I was 5 on meds. My gateway RX was Ritalin.

  • I recently stopped Lamictal, once and for all. I grew up on Dexedrine, Depakote (pre-Lamictal), Xanax and either Risperdal, Seroquel and/or Haldol.

    I was always hyperactive and still very much am but I was at Lamictal, Dexedrine and PRN Klonopin. I don’t use Klonopin except for when there are thunderstorms and honestly, I have tried mindfulness, other benzos, wine, loud music etc and it has nothing to do with fear at all it is just how my body reacts.

    I was getting close to getting of Dexedrine completely because I lowered the dose by half (now at the FDA max dose) and my doctor saw what I was up to and switched me to the long acting which are harder to taper off so I am going to make her switch me to Adderall since that is on my plan. My psych docs will not do tapers in my area and my real doctor refuses to prescribe amphetamines. I have learned to cope with skills, mindfulness, a healthy diet, you name it and I was one of those in and out on 72 hour holds in my late teens and early 20s.

    Xanax was a complete nightmare so I know that outside of a thunderstorm, I wouldn’t take that drug for anything and the thunderstorms in my area aren’t frequent and seasonal. I will only take a 1 mg one though. Xanax was at 10 mg/day when I stopped and I was a kid. It is crazy what they load people on at doctor’s offices. Mentioning coming off dexedrine ends with, nope. All you do is argue, complain and interrupt everyone and you act 14. When I was younger I would have to pick up Dexedrine as it was ordered in and there was some older lady there on it and she’d be on it for 50 years. We ended up figuring out that the other as there on the same day because our order came in.

    I love these forums because I can relate to people’s struggles.

  • I took Xanax for ten years in my teens and stopping it was a living hell. It took 2 years. With that said, I use klonopin only for thunderstorms. I also take Lamictal and Dexedrine and have been on those for years… Lamictal isn’t the hard one but the Dexedrine is one I have to do very slow and learn skills before dropping the dose because I have taken it since age 5… I went from 115 mg/day to 60 so far. I can do cold turkey but I am like a 15 year old without it and I am going the slow route

  • I never use this long term and refuse to but when my April to December manic season comes, I have 2.5-5 mg of Haldol and 2 mg of Ativan and within a week or two, I am practically back at baseline but I also have psychotic features with my diagnosis as well. Mania is a different animal to the schizophrenic disorders but the psychosis often toward the end really make things hard to do period on a behavioral level.

    I regularly take Lamictal and Dexedrine which ironically are two meds that will seem to keep me stable and calm but I also spent years on both of them and it is odd that this helps. I use Klonopin for panic attacks during thunderstorms and it is all that has worked because it startles my heart and I can’t use skills while the storm is happening and they are no good for long term either.

    I think that manic depression at it’s extreme can be bad and is possibly something different with the psychotic component but one thing I love about this, is that there is focus on psychosis. I am grateful my experience with psychosis isn’t as extreme or longer lasting but I have a great amount of respect for you for doing this. Thanks.

  • I am hyperactive to an extreme level and dexedrine is all that helps with that now. I am all natural when it comes to food, no dyes or artificial crap, supplementation and finding out the ins and outs of which are and aren’t tested and not bad and help where meds damage and yoga/mindfulness/exercise but going off of it makes me immature and I party and tend to use drugs too. I have a Masters and work but I never had an issue with attention, I was AP level and got all of my work done faster. I was always bored, wound up, and impatient. I do and say things before I think without it, I may be enough to be “qualified” but at age 34 being mostly on since age 5, I will say they are addictive, hyper or not.

  • I did and it just makes me unable to act older than 14 if I stop them. Literally, hyper, immature, loud, rude and cracking inappropriate jokes. They did at 18 and I went to drugs. My mom had me on dexedrine at age 5. Major dependency to them too. I don’t know why they call it something else. I take a lot less than before and plan to get off of them but some kids lose it, some have schizophrenia and some of us make it in life but I am to the point where I am done. these drugs make you dull and emotionless after awhile and the calm and quiet thing is weird.

  • I am down to two meds with rare use of the meds that caused this (Xanax)… Haldol/Ativan and Klonopin. I also take Lamictal which is hell to take and dexedrine which is speed. I used to take one AP, 2 mood stabilizers, buspar and either a ritalin drug or something else. I am decreasing the dose very gradually and planning to get off. I am since of the cost of NAC and milk thistle and coq10 , magnesium and b vitamin complexes just to hopefully minimize any damage. So far, so good. When I was on depakote because with “Bipolar I disorder, recurrent mania with psychotic features it was required, I started it and I had no damage at all.

    I know I am on two meds soon but they are almost gone too.

  • I am anti psychiatry unless it is a serious violent or other type of danger like starving from not leaving etc. I have had social workers in my teens lock me up for 72 hours for being profane and rude but they were quite nasty as well. If psychiatry stayed with psychiatrists and psych nurse practitioners and social work did it’s own thing and not meddle or assume. I keep those appointments medical.

    What I hate is being stable on minimal meds and they freak about it. I decreased and will probably find a way to stop some day

  • I checked out the Seroquel thing before. Some people inject with with cocaine, it is called a Q-Ball… That is one of those meds that is in the “clinic cocktails” my friends sister told me about. I took seroquel as well and it was a living hell to stop taking. Worse than Xanax (which was in my childhood cocktail)

    A lot of the maintenance folks that stay lifers also have, Concerta or Vyvanse for the day to go with their methadone/bupenorphine. PRN Xanax or Ativan and Ambien and Seroquel for sleep. I don’t think is violates HIPAA to say that because she didn’t mention names but she said some taper from it and never go back, some are in and out and many are on the above. I know one personally who is a personal trainer. Lived it from a pain med, did the program, 12-stepped it, maintenance for a short period and is done so I am not judging those circumstance, it beats robbing people for heroin, I guess.

  • I also think that the hospital hoppers that tend to enjoy trips to the ER, even the ones that are suicidal and get angry when they decide they are fine or the druggies are just going to get better at playing the game… the surveillance style health care and all that is a tad creepy to me and some come off meds at their own pace…

    this is one of those creepy programs:

  • And I thought being put on them at age 5 was bad. That poor child will be dependent for life. See, I have always been hyper but I never saw the point of being drugged. It was a 2-3 time per day war as a kid to take dexedrine. I tried the “can’t swallow pills trick”, then I got so good at hiding the applesauce in the capsule form that I could talk like I swallowed it. Most of the time I took it though. When you are really young and the pills do all the work, when you get to the age to where you take it willingly to stop the fights and suspensions from school and at age 33, I have to practice skills like a madman before even dropping a dose. Sadly, I am not past the functionality to earn enough to not get medicaid so I have been switched to Adderall because the government is cracking down on all of these “Adult ADD” folks and I am going slowly as I learn skills because then I literally lose maturity like a pro. I respect the crackdown but when I had to fight not to cut down the dose until I am ready because I still qualify as “severe and persistent mentally ill”, especially in the summer if I am not careful, I will get two hours of sleep and I turn into a mad man. It annoyed me to see the “pain pill queens” who seem to be very fine to me since they openly were yelling that they cut their “xanny bars” down and can only get a lower dose of fentanyl and 240 “oxy 10’s” when they used to get more but I am glad to see the change for that reason. I am a health food nut, exercise on an infrequent basis, never get sick but I tend to go at my own pace and sometimes function better after seeming in a “rutt” per say. I think the fact that I went from an 8 med cocktail with PRN drugs to small amounts of 3 drugs with very limited and small dose of 0f a 1st generation antipsychotic and short term klonopin (hey, I am not a fan and the bricks in my feet feeling is what stops it quick, plus aside from that they come in handy for thunderstorms). At this point, I still take Lamictal but I am much better from mindfulness and balance than anything and nutrition and neuroprotective foods and magnesium at bedtime had made the world of difference. I have a way to go but I am glad they are doing something. I am not sure how I feel about some of the big brother medicine they promote though. I think with adults who grew up that way there should be patience because the dependence is developmental.

  • As a former hyperactive kid, I can say, the only reason they make long acting meds are because hyper kids are hell on earth come medication time. I tried every long acting med and each one had 5 hours of hell, weren’t direct enough and I couldn’t take a lesser dose or not take it if I didn’t need it all day. I tutor German grad students and I heard her yelling because her dealer had adderall. The idea that abuse is like the 1960’s where people are injecting it is absurd. I have told moms on some ADHD boards that claim they cant take pills, the patch falls off, the liquid makes them sick that I tried all of those tricks too. They are making strip forms of amphetamine, dexedrine and ritalin soon too. science daily had an article suggesting long acting ritalin for cocaine addiction too. The abuse potential aspect is absurd because the loss of appetite and being able to go for hours to get things done is the motivation. It is even being approved for binge eating disorder. They tried depression and schizophrenia but those failed.

  • What irked me the most was how everyone said it was Schizophrenia and/or Manic phase of severe bipolar (they call bipolar I, schizo mood bipolar and bipolar II, not being lazy, being arrogant and snappy kind of bipolar when they know some about it) but when his diagnosis of an autistic disorder the Autism fanatics and even NAMI was quick to be angry about it asserting that it is extremely rare although still enough to watch out for and I get angry because that is the first thing people think when it comes up again. Aside from SSRI’s add a lack of understanding of norms. a cluster B type of personality or psychosis as a mindset while we are always beefing up for the next war and place to attack in the media, we kind of have a culture of that and we do it for “peace” so culture is part of it too.

  • I am spending years to learn all of the skills I missed out on by being dexedrine managed rather than any effort to deal with hyperactivity. I have never had attention issues, it is impulsive and hyperactive behavior and the dependence on this particular drug (or as it is called treatment) after all of those years is a complete switch from sane and stable and well adjusted for my age to impatient, rude, cracking jokes all the time, acting fifteen, throwing fits. I was on them until 18 and then I was always seen as hypomanic and the Xanax, Risperdal and Seroquel dangers were more of a living hell to stop. It was micro titration down and hell all the way and after the fact. SSRI drugs made me psychotic and manic within days. I had to cover most of my body with tattoos because I thought I had bugs crawling under my skin and tried to cut them out all over. It was embarrassing because if I wore short sleeve shirts, even when I reiterated that it was a drug reaction, I would be told that some treatment for cutting in therapy for that and borderline personality disorder was necessary and neither was very effective and DBT scared me because half seemed to be fascinated with me and some attracted while others would not like me because of my confidence level and one half of DBT was common sense although having a starting point to mindfulness was good.

    I didn’t like turning down some types of groups and saying the methods were redundant or not helpful and mentioning it cause a personality clash because in some CRT programs when I was still at that level would wind up with an ambush and a hard talk about staff splitting not being tolerated was held and I respect (SOME) of the mental health staff as treatment providers but I knew better than to know the limits of what that relationship was. And I was rotated to the next until they stopped. I was in legal trouble, an adult child, in fights all the time and was into bungee jumping and whatnot and then strattera came out and the doctor said that, “my constant pressured speech” was because a stimulant is needed to quiet you. Strattera made me think I was running for president, I had the opposite of paranoia, everyone was out to help me and wasn’t sleeping and then I went back to stimulants again. They make me feel dull and slower and I adjusted to that because it was that or trials of more drugs that had me in and out of consciousness all day vs calm and the idea that these new ones are less addictive is absurd. I tutor German grad students and one had an important call and she was arguing because she paid for Vyvanse for her paper and Adderall wasn’t the good stuff.

    I hear opiate addicts in my area on the bus going to the methadone or bupenorphine treatment and they all get stimulants with Xanax as needed and ambien at night for it. I know of 3 girls personally that are overweight and their regular doctor gives out Vyvanse because it is either approved or on it’s way to being approved for Binge Eating Disorder, which I have no doubt is a problem for some people but honestly, it is just another diet pill because most regular doctors are going to look at them and think that. I am on the “bad ones”, immediate release so I can eat, have breaks to get hyper and sweep mop and scrub clean and to take a lesser dose for social situations where I need to be less mute because it is rude. However I want to be done altogether. I fear the Lamictal still because it helps with the manic stuff and I also fear that I might be stuck on dexedrine. I am hyper and it is legal to take for that and it helps keep the other issue more stable too (manic episodes) which is odd but every month I look at the side effects and get scared. The others felt worse too, like I was on the verge of panic or extreme guilt. I am at the mac recommended dose on most days and I used to take 115 mg per day because they just wanted me quiet. And pharmacies have to order it and they’ll bang out hundreds of adderall, ritalin and vyvanse prescriptions that are long acting and have a 5 hour period of hell at the end of the day for me but because big pharma considers it more addictive when I am on this form to cut down and have. It is disconcerting. I fear it will be taken off the market before I can get off of it slowly too and I will be back on generation XR again but they have the way they promote these drugs to addicts these days too. At 19 one doctor I had in the Bennington CRT shuffle refused to give it to me because I had used marijuana and alcohol when I was manic at one point.

    Methamphetamine is still available as an rx too, I took it for 2 months as a teenager and it was miserable to deal with the pharmacy and this may sound odd but it felt really mild and dexedrine calmed me down more. I bet Shire is cooking up some formulation of that to mix into some “non addictive XR” formulation. I keep myself healthy otherwise and compared to other medications this makes me mild but it strips my appetite completely away and I eat on this form but if I switch doctors, I have to “do a trial of other meds” so he can see the evidence. Plus, I take B-vitamins and coQ-10 and have to eat vitamin C at night or it is a placebo. Everyone I know that gets this as adults are intolerable, talk nonstop, clean all the time, lose weight and then 6 months down the road the lose it and get moody and paranoid and then I see them later on, still on it, gained it all back and they are psychotic. I went to school with kids that were on this and used to give it to other kids and one kid actually settled down and focused on goals rather than be with the “cool crowd” but she heard voices permanently and was always getting sent home and the guy was in a program for being suicidal. So I know that the effect may be better for other people but it feels like a mute button despite the help through adjusting to society and it cannot be good for me… I was started at age 5 because she had to give me her undivided attention but sitting me in a couch to stare at the wall and listen to the theme song to MASH so she could smoke her 3 packs of Marlboro lights and watch her soaps and do her two classes before she started her Social Work degree was no fun. When I researched eugenics for a paper because my German grandmother used to have an aversion to it and how it was as big of a thing here and old school social work was the driving force behind that, I realized why I couldn’t ever tolerate a therapist with the LICSW or my mom’s behavior. I know 3 personally that really looked into the scars of that and the influence on it’s modern society, especially a lot of NAMI focused attitudes and their fervent followers that are sticking with the 8 med combos, a therapist, nami meetings and struggle still because they live on boxed food, diet soda and McDonalds and just say they are not at risk because they have to be on statins too. I have been terrorized to say I felt this way in the past because prior to moving to the area I did, they’d accuse me of being manic and say I was a danger to myself and put me on a 72 hour hold.

  • and they have plans to make more. one amphetamine strip, one dextroamphetamine strip, a ritalin strip and a dextroamphetamine patch at some point soon too… the odd thing is that they think it curbs drug misuse but I tutor German grad students and overheard a conversation where the girl wanted Vyvanse because it makes her “higher”… that one went down the tubes big pharma.

  • I don’t know. I support the social justice aspect but I am a bisexual male and that LGBT social justice movement failed me miserably and NAMI already has that whole thing started too. I can say however that I am a tad worried about that as well. Sometimes there can be a real question behind the motives.

    Like the trendy “come out at mentally ill” message that NAMI types seem to push these days. They tend to reach the more “trendy” illnesses. That crowd was among many who were thrilled to see Amanda Bynes and Britney Spears and their 5150. Plus, what model means what??? and to who??? there is always going to be the main person(s) wanting to speak for the whole.

  • My diagnosis of childhood mania is connected to the season and the amount of time it takes for me to wind down and actually sleep after dark. I begin to start feeling great and always have and I am already high energy as it is so from April til September that if I really just let go I would be psychotic. I don’t meet criteria for the modern model of “pediatric bipolar disorder” at all. Nor does seasonal affective disorder acknowledge the up side of things at all.

    When I read the criteria for “pediatric bipolar disorder” after years of having that label, I didn’t think it fit AT ALL.

  • I don’t like NAMI… pardon the association but they are pushing this “come out as mentally ill” initiative oddly as the 5150 scenarios of forced treatment etc and loss of all rights are being promoted as good. I hear people say Britney Spears is going so great and she is so happy and successful now but I see that same way I felt when my mom did the same to me and I can see it in her demeanor. She makes the best of it but it’s not right.

  • I grew up pretty off kilter and I don’t think anyone around here should think they have a place to guilt anyone else for their opinion. However, my concern is with the reversal of trends involving involuntary commitment issues. I am not the largest fan of some diagnostic labelling of some things or seeing things become socially acceptable. I grew up hyper and my moods elevate sometimes to the point that I lose it. I have spent many years being drugged with many things to tame the energy and that has made it better and worse for me. I am hyper and will vouch for the argument against ADHD drugging as a trend. However, I have sometimes and have had experience on and off with dexedrine tablets and aside from making my brain seem to go into slow down and take things seriously mode, it doesn’t raise my blood pressure and my body feels less drugged from it than caffeine. That is only all but one generic of the tablet form of that drug. I have tried all of them even the Spansules and Vyvanse and felt like I was going to have my heart blow out, go nuts, get paranioid etc. I don’t see how some of that crap is legal. Dexedrine tablets I can start, take for periods of time and I go back to my funny spontaneous self again. I have the “always in a rush” issue so attention is fine with me.

    Given the history of that, I was a mouthy, “manic”, very antisocial late teen with a very foul mouth and the archetypal “Nurse Ratchets” of every place I landed and I would immediately butt heads. Even people in any place like now are the same way but now I use more intimidation and emotional coldness and basically state, I will say/do_________ when I want I need _______. I don’t expect the answers and solutions ASAP and you will stick to the boundaries of the enforcing rules and me following them. I let them know to check their charts too because I have made an entire group therapy session in a psych ward go into chaos just by adding a point of view from the 3rd party and call the lack if there being equality in dialogue, the dialogue that isn’t respected from some of us that need help because it would interfere with any help and request that they apologize etc. Some staff take pride in their reputation and I saw an old file that said something like.

    [“Pt. can be one of the easiest most laid back clients once the mania is stabilized in hospital settings but he is high risk for two reasons, it is easy to identify with the credibility of the delusions he has and become drawn into it because he is a “highly intelligent paranoid” and the other was that when I have had issues with staff and :”conflict consisted, my behavior pattern was destructive, effective and so insidious that it led to losing 2 employees who were exemplary in being able to often be the only one to manage the most unstable borderlines”]. I have lesser moments of restraint with the “Nurse Ratchet” type staff who are good for some people that end up in mental health care that need a wake up call… However, t have on more than one occasion been put under 72-hour involuntaries for engaging with them and referring to them in vulgar ways. I wasn’t a threat at all, it was just an f*** you situation. At times some meds had short term help… one 72 hour hold probably saved me a life sentence because a friend was raped and I was after someone. There have been great staff, and people who are there for the wrong reasons. This type of employee tends to seem to go the extra mile and are acclaimed by fellow coworkers and every client tell you to watch out for the,.

    The fact that there are these staff and that even with the good hearted ones, group situations show them not doing much to intervene because in the end, all the law, society or fairness fallacy in the world, I still end up responsible for my role and own my place but the feeling I get when I look at the thrill of many online as they are happily shrieking that these women are losing all of their rights is scary. Kind of that whole “first they came for the….” situations in the red herring context.

  • I grew up on the immediate release dexedrine tablets they used to make until 2006. I can say I have been prescribed everything else and it felt like my heart was going to blow out etc even different brands of dexedrine. Vyvanse felt nothing like Dexedrine but the Dexedrine Spansules felt subduing and weird. Desoxyn did nothing at all.

    I was put on it for being hyper and having a big mouth… I was never an attention issue. I take one of the crappy tablets they make now and they make me very quiet, settled, mature.

    I thought ritalin felt like it was a roller coaster and all of these new long acting meds I had to take were HORRIBLE and that 3-5 hour crashes are rough too… everything including caffeine and all but one brand of dexedrine tablets (mallinsckrodt) all feel like they are doing a number on my body and appetite. I think these are horrible and the one I would take in some instances is off the market…

  • I was treated by Dr. Vines who worked under Ms. Steingard from around 2008-2011 and he was the first doctor that didn’t do the standard bipolar ADHD combo with me, often an antipsychotic, one of the ineffective mood stabilizers (anything but lamictal) and either way too high or way too low of a long acting stimulant and neither did well with me.

    I left because I wasn’t fond of the other aspects of the program, like having a case manager and being required to see a therapist that I would want to respect boundaries and in both cases when in with Dr Vines, I would dictate that I felt fine and they’d give me a questioning look. I just left a nurse practitioner and she was flexible and then would get weird. Short acting dexedrine, helped immensely, had to take 6-8 pills and with lamictal and 2.5 mg of haldol for scute moments 2 mg of ativan for the more rage states or 2 mg of klonopin pre thunderstorm… doing the running to make sure you aren’t dying tricks don’t help me at all. I rarely like taking Benzos or antipsychotics but since I deal with mania, I had to come up with a way to make it work because Lamictal helps mania the most preventatively. She wanted me on these more than I wanted though and then would flip and act as if I were drug seeking and now that I recently left there. I have a good physique again with this regimen and it worked and hopefully I can find someone that will allow me similar flexibility. As of now, I am without care and I am off everything although I still have Klonopin 2 mg and Adderall 30 mg tablets in my safe. I also don’t see eye to eye with long acting stimulants. Every one gives you a level and sometimes you need more than others and if it is too much or too little, you are stuck with it until afternoon when the 3-5 hour rage would start from the crash. Adding a short acting dose would feel like a different med and it would still be miserable. Vyvanse felt like taking nothing but I never ate and the methylphenidates were anxiety provoking. short acting focalin would be helpful for setting up events etc. I hate the unorthodox approach that works for me but until I get manic again, I am probably avoiding treatment for awhile. This past experience of asking for smaller quantities of adderall 30 mg tablets and being thought of as drug seeking when it was better than 180-240 pills and the brand of generic was more consistent was just off. And the upset at wanting to use klonopin and ativan minimally. I have been through them all and antipsychotics were horrible and made me fat. This is going to sound odd but the crash from XR meds made me want more and more. However, this kept me the most stable. I am fine… the lamictal abrupt reduction was rough but Dr Vines helped me communicate my needs and not feel unsafe or bullied. He was a good man. I guess if I were to go back to howard, not having similar financial situations and having to live in an SRO that was miserable would maybe but now that I had to end treatment that actually worked with someone who was great and compassionate but odd and probably has me pegged as a druggie, really just makes me pray the next mania doesn’t happen.

  • I spent years on dexedrine and it made me lay around and slow etc… never ate much but without them I eat more, I eat very healthy, organic no soda etc. I am more muscular now that they decided not wanting other medications after trying them all and having some feel like I was dying to supposedly being given desoxyn which did nothing at all. If I didn’t have a big mouth I would have dodged it but they never did anything but make my brain feel like it’d subdue… after the brand name ones went though it was never really too great and different… I took the tablets too so I ate during the day

  • my attention itself is fine, I go in a rush but the loudness and my bluntness and spur of the moment issues bugged people…. I like it better now I am glad it annoys people… it annoys me that I was taking that crap to please others and then got accused of being a druggie over it when I had decreased it by half of what I was as a kid… it wasn’t hard on my body though, it was just a brain switch. other new ones make you nuts and generic dexedrine tablets are all crap anyhow.

  • this is why I had to stop dexedrine… I spent years on them, the tablets allowed for flexibility if i didn’t need as much and I could eat. The XR meds all make me rage for 4 hours and ir doses feel like different meds. I literally tried everything and when I was a kid I was on 140 mg/day. I was recently on 70 mg. The brand name ones were the best, they felt like they just turned your brain on and off and since then they have all been no good. Out of the blue, insurance recently started threatening me and my doctor and I have taken everything from ritalin to desoxyn, tried all the new long acting ones which sent me into 5 hour rages when they wore off. I took it to be a slug like everyone else and not talk and be Mr. Appropriate because I am a ball of energy so I just said to hell with them. I stopped and am full of energy and I am glad I am not taking them to be passive for everyone else.