Sunday, October 22, 2017

Comments by Victoria

Showing 34 of 34 comments.

  • Before the feminist movement even existed, before men became feminized… both men AND women were actually happier! But now, women want society to see them as totally equal to men at the expense of their own minds. WHY??? Although I’m a woman, I never chose to trade both my happiness and the happiness of men for equality!

    If we want to return to happiness, we must sacrifice equality in gender roles. That doesn’t mean we’re inferior to men, nor superior… Men and women ARE equal as human beings, but that doesn’t mean our ROLES should be equal. We sacrificed our own happiness (the fading “American Dream”) for equality in gender roles… Now that’s crazy!

  • Oh I see, I’ll look into it more. I appreciate the resource! I definitely need to think this through more, if I want to pursue being totally off my meds or not. I may want to simply stay at a low dose forever, I’m not sure. Society always freaks out when I voice my choice… I’m grateful for this site because it doesn’t force me to silence myself the way society does; bottling up the truth is bad for mental health too… but the world doesn’t want to hear the truth!

  • AA, I wish I only had depression! Then the choice would be easy. I have a history of non-compliance, so I tried. But I was naive and tapered too quickly, or quit cold turkey (I tried several times) and my symptoms came back every time. That’s why I’m afraid to try again. At first, I only had depression… but then I went on Wellbutrin and that gave me an even worse diagnosis. Thanks for the good luck, I need it… Good luck to all of you, too!

  • Thanks for your reply, Matt. I actually read Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker about 6 years ago, so I know ALL about psychiatry’s history leading up to the modern-day mess we’re now in. I’ve been a huge fan of this website for years, but mostly I was a lurker. I want to get more involved, though.

    Part of me believes their lies are true and part of me believes they aren’t true. I take my “medication” nightly and I wonder often when I’ll get tardive dyskinesia and other deadly side effects. Instead of giving me hope, my “medication” is giving me nightmares… while awake.

    I appreciate you reminding me to not believe their lies. My psychiatrist agreed to lower my medication (eventually), but in the meantime I’m doing all I can to improve my mental health. Running, hydrotherapy, eating well, whatever I can to persuade her to lower my dose. If that day ever arrives, I don’t know. I can only hope…

  • I find it telling that my family uses the “scientific evidence” above to ensure I take my poison pills for life, but they refuse to touch the pills themselves. The rationale is that because my illness is so severe, the pill is good for me… and since their illness is so minor, the pill is bad for them. That makes zero sense to me. If the poison is bad for them, it’s bad for me too because I’m as human as they are.

    The brain disease model actually promotes the stigma it claims is trying to erase, implying that I’m subhuman. If these poison pills are the miracles I’ve been told they are, then why don’t the preachers take the so-called miracle pills too? Don’t they WANT to take antidepressants and be perfectly happy all the time? Since they refuse to take what they preach, I have no reason to have faith in their tiny “miracles” in a bottle…

  • That’s a great way to look at it! If my mother talked to my therapist, she would blame me for being a “bad” child… even though she partly raised me that way. She would blame my anger back in my teen years (today, I feel angry at her only in my psychosis… my anger was suppressed… one of my past delusions was that there were two clones of my mother, one good and one evil) for the reason she punished me so often. It would be a role reversal, she’s the “good mother” who has to make the “bad child” obey.

    She once explained to me that genetics made my brother who he is today, turned my brother into our “bad father.” She said she tried so hard parenting him to prevent that from happening, but genetics rules in the end. So she probably blames who I was in childhood on bad genetics, too, as well as bad brain chemistry. Today she says I’m sweet, but that’s only because I obey all her rules, I don’t criticize her, I agree with everything she says even if I disagree.

    I don’t rock the boat, because I’m afraid to be who I truly am around her… I’m afraid she’ll demonize me the way she did my brother, who turned out great in my eyes… he’s totally honest with her, and I’m not… he should be viewed as the good child, but instead I, the liar, am the “good child” now and he’s the “bad child.” Why does the truth get punished and the lie gets rewarded? Because the truth often hurts!

  • Hi Michael, even though you directed your comment to Rae, I feel as if you were writing to me, too. When you wrote “this makes them human beings,” I saw my mother, also a social worker, in a new light. She’s not a bad mother, she’s simply a human being that has both a light side and a dark side… as we all do!

    My therapist only focuses on my mother’s dark side, so therapy kind of warped my perception of the woman who gave me the gift of life itself. My mother is very loving when I’m loving, and I’m the same way; I’m very loving when she’s loving. It’s a domino effect of karmic reactions, except human beings are the dominoes and the effect is more of an emotional contagion!

    I now see that therapy, too, has both a light and dark side. Thank you for your insight!

  • Rae, I had issues with my mother growing up, too… She was often angry at me and I was angry at her, too, because she never listened to me. I spent most of my free time in my teen years hiding in the prison of my bedroom, either because my mother sent me there for punishment, or because I was hiding from her and my brother, one of my many bullies.

    Parents don’t want to be criticized, I guess out of fear for being seen as a “bad parent.” My mother was very loving when I praised her, but when I criticized her, all hell broke loose. She’s still that way. I believe my mother would prefer to protect her own reputation, than her own child by admitting she partly contributed to my mental “illness.”

    It’s convenient for parents to have their child labeled with a diagnosis, it takes them off the hook for bad parenting…

  • Your reply means a lot to me, Chaya, you’re very insightful. You’re right, we should invest the truth in people who respect our truth. My plan, though, is NOT to convince them I’m right. My REAL plan is to ask them questions, then expose their answers on this website. I believe that when we discover their version of the truth, we also discover a new plan of action in which to improve the mental “health” system…

  • So true, Ron! The big picture is often so overly obvious that it can fly right over our heads. There are many variables in the case of shorter lifespans. People in poverty can’t afford healthy food, which can lead to obesity and feeling lethargic, which leads to lack of exercise. The extreme stress of poverty can lead to early death, too! Life is way more complex than meets the eye…

  • You’re fortunate, I think my therapist believes in a lifetime of drugs as the Holy Grail of recovery (my words, not hers. I could be wrong about her stance on drugs, which is why I’m going to discuss this topic with her soon). I don’t want to run away from my therapist and psychiatrist, I want to face my fear of telling them the complete truth… and the truth is, I want to stop my drugs, stop labeling myself with a harmful diagnosis and focus on alternative treatments! Most of all, though, I want to tell ONLY the truth, because how can I expect to RECEIVE the truth if I don’t GIVE the truth myself? I believe if I’m 100% truthful with them, the truth will set me free!

  • I appreciate your fast reply! Yes, I’m a skeptic at heart, so I don’t invest blind faith in everything I’m told. I listen to my body, mind and spirit first and foremost, I seek and follow the truth by observing myself, NOT by others telling me how THEY observe me (I used to, but not anymore!). We know ourselves better than anyone else ever will… IF we’re aware of ourselves, of our state of being. Many people, though, choose to suppress all awareness of themselves with drugs and allow the “divine” experts tell them what’s wrong with them… but the truth is, NOTHING is wrong with us or our brains, our brains are merely warning us in the form of mental “illness” that something is wrong with how we’re living our lives!

  • I’m both glad AND sad that my experience is typical, it goes to show I’m not delusional or crazy for thinking, or knowing, that the system is harming myself and my fellow “psychos.” You’re right, that’s precisely how the public perceives us all, as potential mass shooters scheming to hurt ourselves or others. When in reality, the complete opposite is true! We’re way more like to get hurt or taken advantage of by others. I once gave $200 I couldn’t afford to lose to a random man I didn’t know who asked me for money, because I wasn’t in my right frame of mind and he noticed that. Then I gave him a compassionate hug, does THAT make me sound dangerous? The way we’re portrayed in the public eye is so backwards, so twisted…

  • Yes, mental illnesses are messengers of the mind, warning signals that something is wrong with our lives, not with our brains. There’s NO proof that mental illness is 100% genetic… maybe 50%, but nurture is equally important, if not more important than, nature. Being bullied, for example, has been linked to psychosis. Being bullied leads to distrust of others, which leads to isolation (which is traumatic in and of itself, because human beings are social creatures).

    Thanks for the insightful article!

  • Julie, thank you for sharing your story, your truth. I don’t perceive you as voiceless, either! Like you, I used to be on Lithium. But because it was giving me thyroid disorder, my doctor took me off of it and increased the dose of my other drug, Abilify, to keep me sane. I suspect the drug I’m on now, still Abilify, actually GAVE me an eating disorder! Whenever I went off drugs (on my own, without support) I had normal eating habits. When my psychosis came back, though, I was urgently put back on Abilify and all I think about now is food, even when when I’m trying to focus on something else. My weight keeps going up and up, plus the severe constipation (another side effect) doesn’t help with weight loss at all. I also have a terrible rash and acne on my face, but doctors tell me it can’t be from Abilify… I don’t know what to believe anymore!

  • Your story gives me great hope… I hope someday I’ll be free of the “poison pills” too (I believe these drugs are healing in the short term, damaging in the long term), but for now, I’m striving to improve my perception of reality and myself, my identity.

    In my opinion, my psychology is the root cause of my mental illness and how we interpret our life experiences shapes our psychology. Like you, I’m going by anecdotal evidence so I’m open to “real” evidence that proves I’m wrong… not that experience can’t be real, but our interpretations can distort how we perceive reality. My mission is to see reality as it is, not as it appears to be!

    I don’t wish to stop my meds until I dig deeper into my mind and discover what triggers my symptoms (for me, hopelessness is both a trigger and symptom of my suicidal thoughts). I believe hope is one of many factors that results in healing and this community gives me the ultimate hope that someday, the mental health system will evolve the way life itself has evolved!

  • Wow Julie, I never saw it that way! I always believed stress was either good or bad. I avoid bad stress to make my suicidal depression go away. But on second thought, why am I so depressed even when I’m relaxing (and on meds)? Perhaps my mind is a messenger warning that I need to take action and improve my reality before I can relax. Suicidal depression (and even psychosis) are a sane reaction to an insane reality!

    I was badly bullied in my childhood, so I grew up seeing the dangers all around me. The world IS a scary place, that’s not a delusion at all. I was bullied in the hospital, too, forced into the isolation room and forcibly injected with the needle against my will. And they say I’m supposed to see the world as a safe place? Does it REALLY mean I’m crazy or paranoid if I see the world as a dangerous place? They say I myself am a danger?! Now THAT’S crazy!

  • So true, Julie! It’s a myth that doctors are healers. You’re right, the opposite is true… doctors tend to harm their patients! I’m taking meds now and yes, it’s harming me, but society makes it SO difficult to stop… I’m hoping to stop with my psychiatrist’s support, NOT behind her back. Hiding from my psychiatrist (and everyone else pressuring me to take meds) stresses me out too much and too much stress induces my so-called mental illness.

    I find it interesting that your greatest fear is not death, but having your message forgotten upon death. That reveals a lot about how sacred life truly is, but until society sees the invisible gift of mental “illness,” nothing will be seen as sacred…

  • Hi Julie, you make a great point! I should be careful about putting everyone in the same box. My parents didn’t expect perfection from me, either, but I did feel shamed for being unique (imperfect) by the school system. But you’re right, just because that was my experience, doesn’t mean it was everyone’s experience! Thank you for disagreeing with me, you have opened my eyes to other possibilities 🙂

  • And thank YOU, Alex, for giving me YOUR insight! I enjoyed our back and forth dialogue, you helped me define which stress is good and which stress is bad. Sadly, you’re right… stress induced by the toxic nature of society’s strict rules about what we should be, do and say (our false identity!) is bad stress, but the great news is that we have the power to live our lives in tune with our REAL identity!

    And I know you signed off (I’m about to myself) but I just want to add that I believe the mind IS a mini universe, the microcosm to the macrocosm… as above, so below! It’s only a theory of course, but it’s fascinating to reflect on! Later! 🙂

  • HaHa! I agree, your mistake made the perfect point! Thanks for the laugh, I have a perfection reflex too… it takes me forever to write these short replies because I perfect them to death! Education in America teaches us mistakes are bad, but how in the world can we discover new, revolutionary ideas if we’re afraid to make mistakes?

    Without mistakes, world travel wouldn’t exist because the invention of airplanes was a process of mistakes evolving into perfection. Far better than exploring the world, though, is exploring the mind and I hope all those mistakes about the mind evolves as well as the airplane has evolved!