Hi Jill, I love the focus on decision making and self-empowerment. Unfortunately I think psychology tends to sanctify suffering, as if it elevates us in some way. I believe suffering should be felt, honoured for what it has to contribute to our evolution, and then let go. I agree there are lots of reasons why people hold onto suffering, and I believe we become addicted to it. Many people don’t understand their role in their own suffering, that we in fact create much of it for a complex variety of reasons. Simply asking ourselves “do I want to suffer over this” is a powerful question, whether or not we are in the right or someone else has perpetrated some wrong against us. The focus should be on our quality of life and mental well-being above all else, regardless of whether we or other people think we “deserve” or “have the right” to suffer over something. If we were being tortured and had the power to ask the torturer to stop, would be stop them? We are often our own torturers and executioners, much more so than the other people or circumstances in our lives.