I totally relate to everything here. So well expressed. The deception of “mental health.” More tragic is that our Internet Media oriented society has perpetuated a level of juvenility, mistrust, and lies that “mature” adults should find appalling, making things exceedingly worse. Society is “brainwashed,” but older adults need to recognize this, and not allow themselves to be seduced by those who try and capitalize on the already traumatized world we share. Let me add, that expecting justice for those involved in “the system,” is much like expecting those who legally mutilate and murder (and run the show) to go to admit their guilt, and stand “trial,” not likely.
I can’t tell you how impressed I am. Uncanny.
Wow, what an incredible and strong woman. I’m humbled. My unfortunate involvement started in my teens, and eventual shock enlightenment almost 4 decades later. The betrayal of one’s trust is unfathomable to most people who haven’t had this done to them. I’m working at healing as well. “Chemicals” are the imbalance. God bless us all.
I have my share of hair raising experiences to add myself, like Julie.
Sorry, Tina, I’m a man (last time I checked), and it “happened” to me. However, may I point out that when it does “happen” to men, like in my case 31 years ago, it happens rather severely, like deliberate disablement.
Your posts are articulately put, no doubt, women are exploited to high degrees. However, so are men, they are however more hesitant to say so.
I was just “fired,” with a certified letter and posted one to add from my last GP for “abuse” toward their staff. No such “abuse” took place, other than that I got from that last practice’s receptionist who engaged in insulting colloquialisms when I waited for my medical appointment and for her to take my co-pay and filled in medical form, which apparently she may have been instructed not to do. I had waited 4 and 1/2 months to see that last doctor. I had asked that last doctor at my appointment to remove the offending “label,” and she would not. It’s not my “paranoia” that has made me so unpopular in my area, it’s my unwillingness to accept the medical model imposed, and attempts to keep alive now off the last neuroleptics and sleep drugs, and as one of my former Internists remarked, “be a good, compliant patient,” ya sure. 30 years of being so, and observe the results, doctor (his partner was snickering when I last visited him). 16+ months into a hellish, heart and bank breaking withdrawal and I morn every waking minute of my involvement with this felonious, fraudulent, malignancy, brain/mind damaging, murderous “profession,” and my label started at age 18, yet then held a secret then to me and my mother. Such “labels” lead to lives of misery and despair, iatrogenic harm, and ruined lives.
I was naive/foolish enough to turn to this destructive fraudulent control-centered practice, and have never stopped regreting it. It more than ruined my life, and each day, I continue to be dumbfounded by the lack of compassion, disregard and cruelty of others as I continue my struggle to survive the aftermath of trauma that was induced intentionally by those who objectify rather than empatize. This is the antithisis of “mental heath.” Not “healers,” paid psychopaths.
I was coerced into taking them as “major tranquilizers,” convulsing in the corner, they increased the dosage. Take them to your peril, a chemical lobotomy I’ve been bestowed; they do indeed give them to elephants. My life as a promising geologist was ruined once I submitted to the criminal cartel of a state hospital, where (I did not know) illicit street drug dealing was taking place. This whole argument, is inane. If you bludgeon someone on the head senseless and convince them they are “better,” they will believe it (if you bludgeon them hard enough). Far cheaper, but not very profitable (except to disable for the same reasons these drugs are used). What humane conceivable argument could be made for damaging a persons brain intentionally? I was “spellbound” for 30 years, I didn’t know it, until coming through a paradoxical Hell of withdrawal that would make the cruelest person blush, alone in my pain and suffering mostly. I hope Larsen-Barr will be spared, and yet I still live with the dammed consequences that Dr. Breggin elucidates (I saw him as a patient, his videos are more convincing, books are more than accurate about these neurotoxins). You propose academic arguments, I’m not your lab rat anymore. It’s all about power and manipulation, look to yourself. I will die a free man, and you, will glorify yourself again within a sick corrupt material society, profiting from the delusions and agony of human subjects. There is and never has been any reasonable or scientific (beyond poor middle school science) argument regarding DSM’s “mental disorders,” merely people emanating psychological reactions to physiological and psychological stress. What more is there to debate? Is deceiving people “for their own good,” remotely anything another human should entertain? Ruined by the deception of “psychology,” what a brutal idiotic waste of time and effort and ultimate detriment to our collective existence. We survivors suffer, die, while the prophesies of men like Aldous Huxley are alive and well. Only psychopaths profit and sustain from a world such as this.
I’ve seen everyone from Breggin to those who purport to follow his rational approach now. We need a voice and support from our neighbors, from the public, from former friends and companions who have been sold to psychiatry….
I want to live, others like me do too. Is this a hopeless situation? Are we going to re-hash the obvious time and time again? I want to go out and be me again
David BA, MS
What’s the point of rehashing Moncrieff’s research over and over again? She’s right for blessed sake.
I was diagnosed early in life at 18 with the dreaded P. Schiz label. Indeed, I was depressed and anxious, that was taking it a stretch as I re-examine my life’s course. It was likely my Hashimotos and sensitive thyroid that may have brought on “symptoms” that the DSM categorizes as a “disease,” the “canary in the coal mine,” is our thyroid gland; sensitive to toxins and environmental stress.
I’ve played the devil’s advocate in my own behalf… I was on neuroleptics for almost 30 years and now off (through my own volition and efforts) for 16 months and still struggling. Enough of the academic arguments against these “drugs,” we need help and intervention, all know these drugs are poison, they know, we know they know, they lie. Joanna and others haven’t experiences what survivors like me have; a trauma that only compares to nothing that should ever be part of a “normal” human experience. I will likely not be of this earth soon, not because I take my own life, but because I am withering and suffering in my own stress torn body. A life that should have been filled with love, happiness, fulfillment, achievement, and growth.
Nancy,
I’ve read your story and those of others, all horrifyingly and tragically very compelling. I too fell a ‘victim’ by that accursed “profession,” and at the same time, I’m still frustrated and angry that I allowed myself, or should I say in some way, sacrificed myself to it years ago; signing a form of “admission” to a state psychiatric hospital where I live. It was probably the worst and least proud decision I could have done at the time, and yet my withdrawal from my last neuroleptic, Abilify, now off 8 months, was the bravest and most difficult thing I’ve ever done. 30 years under the spell of neuroleptics, the straight jacket effects of the drugs unknown to me, until experiencing the agony and paradoxes of withdrawal. I too believed the “chemical imbalance theory” hook line and sinker. Peter Breggin’s videos were a revelation, but not until I found out that the “side effects” no one spoke of are every bit a reality; the mental and physical torment has been beyond “inexperienced” “med” withdrawers comprehension. I saw Breggin 5 times, his “Withdrawal from Psychiatric Drugs,” is the epitome of reliable and scientifically accurate information, but he was of little help to me getting off this last drug. My insomnia and then mania was raging (I didn’t even know what “mania” meant then).
I was given Seroquel as a sleep aide too, but fortunately used it but a few times years ago. My agony and “panic attacks,” last April were bad enough to call my brother on the west coast and another acquaintance which unfortunately resulted in the “Mobile Crisis Unit” coming to my house, me trusting them to their “new and improved” facility for what I thought was going to be a therapeutic experience, but instead was a hellish experience in a filthy and disgusting place among a series of sociopathic “professionals,” that reduce human beings to something less than animals (a man(?) burst from his room, blood pouring from his forehead, pounding on walls, threatening nurses; no one reacted, but instead threatened me as I tried to avoid him; I’ve never seen anything like this, he was a crazed less than horror, his face a distorted, contorted, hellish countenance. They slapped on an additional 4 serious “diagnosis'” after my 3 additional days in another state facility, though underhandedly, my outgoing diagnosis, was “anxiety disorder, unspecified,” and to seek out “Naturtyme,” a holistic supplement store where I live; those additional diagnosis miraculously appeared on my former doctor’s Internet Website notes when I got out, when in fact, they were not there before. “HE SURVIVED THE HOSPITAL” was written distinctly in one of my “health” review meetings with him… I called everyone I could think of that third day, I had filled out a court order for release, they continually tried to give me Seroquel, but I knew that drug then. Dr. Gay, though I trusted initially, “The Seroquel” doctor, (who knew).
My story on and off the “meds” would take quite of bit of space. I’m coping day to day as best I can, few friends and no family support. I’ve read again and again how human nature reveals itself when one is in such a helpless position. 3 decades of spellbindedness, a mind now free from the chemical haze and straight jacket, but a very damaged psyche and body and a Master of Science in Earth Science, personal trainer, skiing instructor career path not fulfilled, though my most rewarding position was as an adjunct professor of environmental geology at a local community college.
These scoundrels in “medicine” never cease to amaze me, there are few if any “ethically inclined” people left in this field as far as I know, two of my last “medical” doctors have quit their respective practices and one wrote to me he’s moving to Hawaii back to his family and to serve veterans now. What is it with this world we inhabit, has our species gone completely mad? Do “doctors” now have the absolute power to discredit anyone that may disagree with their insane drugging and intimidation of their patients, or “labels” they bestow? Who is to stand in their way? I deleted several posts on a survivor site, that I was quite proud of, and completely truthful about, but was afraid of the consequences; I’m fearful now.
I take no pride in this post, I would gladly forgo the past 30 or so years, had I found the “help” I needed, perhaps a mentor who saw my potential and took me under his wing… then have discovered more “holistic” means for my “mental health,” I would not have suffered so long and hard in a degraded and degrading “system,” that I tried so hard to work out of, unaware that the “legal” drugs I was taking were making it so difficult for me.
Nancy,
I’ve read your story and those of others, all horrifyingly and tragically very compelling. I too fell a ‘victim’ by that accursed “profession,” and at the same time, I’m still frustrated and angry that I allowed myself, or should I say in some way, sacrificed myself to it years ago; signing a form of “admission” to a state psychiatric hospital where I live. It was probably the worst and least proud decision I could have done at the time, and yet my withdrawal from my last neuroleptic, Abilify, now off 8 months, was the bravest and most difficult thing I’ve ever done. 30 years under the spell of neuroleptics, the straight jacket effects of the drugs unknown to me, until experiencing the agony and paradoxes of withdrawal. I too believed the “chemical imbalance theory” hook line and sinker. Peter Breggin’s videos were a revelation, but not until I found out that the “side effects” no one spoke of are every bit a reality; the mental and physical torment has been beyond “inexperienced” “med” withdrawers comprehension. I saw Breggin 5 times, his “Withdrawal from Psychiatric Drugs,” is the epitome of reliable and scientifically accurate information, but he was of little help to me getting off this last drug. My insomnia and then mania was raging (I didn’t even know what “mania” meant then).
I was given Seroquel as a sleep aide too, but fortunately used it but a few times years ago. My agony and “panic attacks,” last April were bad enough to call my brother on the west coast and another acquaintance which unfortunately resulted in the “Mobile Crisis Unit” coming to my house, me trusting them to their “new and improved” facility for what I thought was going to be a therapeutic experience, but instead was a hellish experience in a filthy and disgusting place among a series of sociopathic “professionals,” that reduce human beings to something less than animals (a man(?) burst from his room, blood pouring from his forehead, pounding on walls, threatening nurses; no one reacted, but instead threatened me as I tried to avoid him; I’ve never seen anything like this, he was a crazed less than horror, his face a distorted, contorted, hellish countenance. They slapped on an additional 4 serious “diagnosis'” after my 3 additional days in another state facility, though underhandedly, my outgoing diagnosis, was “anxiety disorder, unspecified,” and to seek out “Naturtyme,” a holistic supplement store where I live; those additional diagnosis miraculously appeared on my former doctor’s Internet Website notes when I got out, when in fact, they were not there before. “HE SURVIVED THE HOSPITAL” was written distinctly in one of my “health” review meetings with him… I called everyone I could think of that third day, I had filled out a court order for release, they continually tried to give me Seroquel, but I knew that drug then. Dr. Gay, though I trusted initially, “The Seroquel” doctor, (who knew).
My story on and off the “meds” would take quite of bit of space. I’m coping day to day as best I can, few friends and no family support. I’ve read again and again how human nature reveals itself when one is in such a helpless position. 3 decades of spellbindedness, a mind now free from the chemical haze and straight jacket, but a very damaged psyche and body and a Master of Science in Earth Science, personal trainer, skiing instructor career path not fulfilled, though my most rewarding position was as an adjunct professor of environmental geology at a local community college.
These scoundrels in “medicine” never cease to amaze me, there are few if any “ethically inclined” people left in this field as far as I know, two of my last “medical” doctors have quit their respective practices and one wrote to me he’s moving to Hawaii back to his family and to serve veterans now. What is it with this world we inhabit, has our species gone completely mad? Do “doctors” now have the absolute power to discredit anyone that may disagree with their insane drugging and intimidation of their patients, or “labels” they bestow? Who is to stand in their way? I deleted several posts on a survivor site, that I was quite proud of, and completely truthful about, but was afraid of the consequences; I’m fearful now.
I take no pride in this post, I would gladly forgo the past 30 or so years, had I found the “help” I needed, perhaps a mentor who saw my potential and took me under his wing… then have discovered more “holistic” means for my “mental health,” I would not have suffered so long and hard in a degraded and degrading “system,” that I tried so hard to work out of, unaware that the “legal” drugs I was taking were making it so difficult for me.
All excellent testimonials… my w/d from my last neuroleptic, Abilify has been every bit as much a horror as Peter Breggin writes about in his book, “Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal…
I was on Zyprexa for 11 years, prior to Abilify for about the same length of time, prior to that Navane, Haldol and a few weeks of Thorizine and Stellazine, along with the accompanying other SSRI’s, Benzos, and Sleep drugs…. a total of 3 decades… in my mid to late 50’s, I have no idea who I really am… a Geologist of sorts with a love of earth science and newspaper comments regarding contributions for the reduction of climate alternating fossil fuels and social advocacy, but also out of a chemical haze and “straight jacket,” an ‘experiment’ of sorts by “doctors” in the 80’s. A peer counselor who thinks I’m one sided against psychotropic drugs told me, to supposedly make me feel useful, “the experimentation on you paved the way for better mental health for people like me,” she’s in her early 30’s.
After reading this, so many things humbly come to mind, “to thy own self be true,” I truly understand that phrase now. This poetic story was enlightening for me, I’m not accustomed to reading works by creative artists, but this has uplifted me. Yet, I confess, I hope to someday break this yoke, my “chemical straightjacket,” bestowed upon me by the purveyors of these insidious drugs, so that my personal narrative can go on, and I am no longer held hostage by their effects. But in the meantime, I must submit to my circumstances.
Remarkable.
Well said and amen.
Midevil science persists and it’s time it stopped. They robbed me of a decent, loving and career oriented life. They perpetuate these lies to support themselves.
BTW, I just more or less had a pretty bad experience at ATMC in Sedona, AZ. I left after a week. A good number of their staff are ex-cons (I didn’t discover this until I went there), including I think the owner (who I’ll not name at this time). I suggest men and women who have a little bit left of their brain function to stay away (unless you like ex-cons in a cult environment) and find ways to reduce and/or eliminate their toxic poisons through their own research and resources. 40K for 8 weeks of ….
Excellent and heart wrenching reply to too very sad stories.
This is a note I emailed to my sister, like the rest of my family, very skeptical about anything other than the medical model. I live alone and continue to suffer the consequences of my association with this fundamentally evil, loathsome, and self-promoting profession:
STOP THE LIES
Hi (Blank),
You have no idea how much all of this has ruined my life and continues to ruin my life. My association with this horrible, false, and self-perpetuating profession will haunt me until I am dead, but hopefully not hooked up to a constant stream of ‘meds’, before then, which would be worse.
I’m a “talented,” intelligent, good-looking, kind, and caring gentleman, probably have been for the vast majority of my life. My hope for a “normal” life, according to them, was lost when I became a “patient.”
I wish it would just all go away, but I have to live with this and I’m going to be 56 next month. A psych label and its consequences, especially my old one, is a condemnation worse than death.
I totally relate to everything here. So well expressed. The deception of “mental health.” More tragic is that our Internet Media oriented society has perpetuated a level of juvenility, mistrust, and lies that “mature” adults should find appalling, making things exceedingly worse. Society is “brainwashed,” but older adults need to recognize this, and not allow themselves to be seduced by those who try and capitalize on the already traumatized world we share. Let me add, that expecting justice for those involved in “the system,” is much like expecting those who legally mutilate and murder (and run the show) to go to admit their guilt, and stand “trial,” not likely.
I can’t tell you how impressed I am. Uncanny.
Wow, what an incredible and strong woman. I’m humbled. My unfortunate involvement started in my teens, and eventual shock enlightenment almost 4 decades later. The betrayal of one’s trust is unfathomable to most people who haven’t had this done to them. I’m working at healing as well. “Chemicals” are the imbalance. God bless us all.
I have my share of hair raising experiences to add myself, like Julie.
Sorry, Tina, I’m a man (last time I checked), and it “happened” to me. However, may I point out that when it does “happen” to men, like in my case 31 years ago, it happens rather severely, like deliberate disablement.
Your posts are articulately put, no doubt, women are exploited to high degrees. However, so are men, they are however more hesitant to say so.
I was just “fired,” with a certified letter and posted one to add from my last GP for “abuse” toward their staff. No such “abuse” took place, other than that I got from that last practice’s receptionist who engaged in insulting colloquialisms when I waited for my medical appointment and for her to take my co-pay and filled in medical form, which apparently she may have been instructed not to do. I had waited 4 and 1/2 months to see that last doctor. I had asked that last doctor at my appointment to remove the offending “label,” and she would not. It’s not my “paranoia” that has made me so unpopular in my area, it’s my unwillingness to accept the medical model imposed, and attempts to keep alive now off the last neuroleptics and sleep drugs, and as one of my former Internists remarked, “be a good, compliant patient,” ya sure. 30 years of being so, and observe the results, doctor (his partner was snickering when I last visited him). 16+ months into a hellish, heart and bank breaking withdrawal and I morn every waking minute of my involvement with this felonious, fraudulent, malignancy, brain/mind damaging, murderous “profession,” and my label started at age 18, yet then held a secret then to me and my mother. Such “labels” lead to lives of misery and despair, iatrogenic harm, and ruined lives.
I was naive/foolish enough to turn to this destructive fraudulent control-centered practice, and have never stopped regreting it. It more than ruined my life, and each day, I continue to be dumbfounded by the lack of compassion, disregard and cruelty of others as I continue my struggle to survive the aftermath of trauma that was induced intentionally by those who objectify rather than empatize. This is the antithisis of “mental heath.” Not “healers,” paid psychopaths.
I was coerced into taking them as “major tranquilizers,” convulsing in the corner, they increased the dosage. Take them to your peril, a chemical lobotomy I’ve been bestowed; they do indeed give them to elephants. My life as a promising geologist was ruined once I submitted to the criminal cartel of a state hospital, where (I did not know) illicit street drug dealing was taking place. This whole argument, is inane. If you bludgeon someone on the head senseless and convince them they are “better,” they will believe it (if you bludgeon them hard enough). Far cheaper, but not very profitable (except to disable for the same reasons these drugs are used). What humane conceivable argument could be made for damaging a persons brain intentionally? I was “spellbound” for 30 years, I didn’t know it, until coming through a paradoxical Hell of withdrawal that would make the cruelest person blush, alone in my pain and suffering mostly. I hope Larsen-Barr will be spared, and yet I still live with the dammed consequences that Dr. Breggin elucidates (I saw him as a patient, his videos are more convincing, books are more than accurate about these neurotoxins). You propose academic arguments, I’m not your lab rat anymore. It’s all about power and manipulation, look to yourself. I will die a free man, and you, will glorify yourself again within a sick corrupt material society, profiting from the delusions and agony of human subjects. There is and never has been any reasonable or scientific (beyond poor middle school science) argument regarding DSM’s “mental disorders,” merely people emanating psychological reactions to physiological and psychological stress. What more is there to debate? Is deceiving people “for their own good,” remotely anything another human should entertain? Ruined by the deception of “psychology,” what a brutal idiotic waste of time and effort and ultimate detriment to our collective existence. We survivors suffer, die, while the prophesies of men like Aldous Huxley are alive and well. Only psychopaths profit and sustain from a world such as this.
I’ve seen everyone from Breggin to those who purport to follow his rational approach now. We need a voice and support from our neighbors, from the public, from former friends and companions who have been sold to psychiatry….
I want to live, others like me do too. Is this a hopeless situation? Are we going to re-hash the obvious time and time again? I want to go out and be me again
David BA, MS
What’s the point of rehashing Moncrieff’s research over and over again? She’s right for blessed sake.
I was diagnosed early in life at 18 with the dreaded P. Schiz label. Indeed, I was depressed and anxious, that was taking it a stretch as I re-examine my life’s course. It was likely my Hashimotos and sensitive thyroid that may have brought on “symptoms” that the DSM categorizes as a “disease,” the “canary in the coal mine,” is our thyroid gland; sensitive to toxins and environmental stress.
I’ve played the devil’s advocate in my own behalf… I was on neuroleptics for almost 30 years and now off (through my own volition and efforts) for 16 months and still struggling. Enough of the academic arguments against these “drugs,” we need help and intervention, all know these drugs are poison, they know, we know they know, they lie. Joanna and others haven’t experiences what survivors like me have; a trauma that only compares to nothing that should ever be part of a “normal” human experience. I will likely not be of this earth soon, not because I take my own life, but because I am withering and suffering in my own stress torn body. A life that should have been filled with love, happiness, fulfillment, achievement, and growth.
Nancy,
I’ve read your story and those of others, all horrifyingly and tragically very compelling. I too fell a ‘victim’ by that accursed “profession,” and at the same time, I’m still frustrated and angry that I allowed myself, or should I say in some way, sacrificed myself to it years ago; signing a form of “admission” to a state psychiatric hospital where I live. It was probably the worst and least proud decision I could have done at the time, and yet my withdrawal from my last neuroleptic, Abilify, now off 8 months, was the bravest and most difficult thing I’ve ever done. 30 years under the spell of neuroleptics, the straight jacket effects of the drugs unknown to me, until experiencing the agony and paradoxes of withdrawal. I too believed the “chemical imbalance theory” hook line and sinker. Peter Breggin’s videos were a revelation, but not until I found out that the “side effects” no one spoke of are every bit a reality; the mental and physical torment has been beyond “inexperienced” “med” withdrawers comprehension. I saw Breggin 5 times, his “Withdrawal from Psychiatric Drugs,” is the epitome of reliable and scientifically accurate information, but he was of little help to me getting off this last drug. My insomnia and then mania was raging (I didn’t even know what “mania” meant then).
I was given Seroquel as a sleep aide too, but fortunately used it but a few times years ago. My agony and “panic attacks,” last April were bad enough to call my brother on the west coast and another acquaintance which unfortunately resulted in the “Mobile Crisis Unit” coming to my house, me trusting them to their “new and improved” facility for what I thought was going to be a therapeutic experience, but instead was a hellish experience in a filthy and disgusting place among a series of sociopathic “professionals,” that reduce human beings to something less than animals (a man(?) burst from his room, blood pouring from his forehead, pounding on walls, threatening nurses; no one reacted, but instead threatened me as I tried to avoid him; I’ve never seen anything like this, he was a crazed less than horror, his face a distorted, contorted, hellish countenance. They slapped on an additional 4 serious “diagnosis'” after my 3 additional days in another state facility, though underhandedly, my outgoing diagnosis, was “anxiety disorder, unspecified,” and to seek out “Naturtyme,” a holistic supplement store where I live; those additional diagnosis miraculously appeared on my former doctor’s Internet Website notes when I got out, when in fact, they were not there before. “HE SURVIVED THE HOSPITAL” was written distinctly in one of my “health” review meetings with him… I called everyone I could think of that third day, I had filled out a court order for release, they continually tried to give me Seroquel, but I knew that drug then. Dr. Gay, though I trusted initially, “The Seroquel” doctor, (who knew).
My story on and off the “meds” would take quite of bit of space. I’m coping day to day as best I can, few friends and no family support. I’ve read again and again how human nature reveals itself when one is in such a helpless position. 3 decades of spellbindedness, a mind now free from the chemical haze and straight jacket, but a very damaged psyche and body and a Master of Science in Earth Science, personal trainer, skiing instructor career path not fulfilled, though my most rewarding position was as an adjunct professor of environmental geology at a local community college.
These scoundrels in “medicine” never cease to amaze me, there are few if any “ethically inclined” people left in this field as far as I know, two of my last “medical” doctors have quit their respective practices and one wrote to me he’s moving to Hawaii back to his family and to serve veterans now. What is it with this world we inhabit, has our species gone completely mad? Do “doctors” now have the absolute power to discredit anyone that may disagree with their insane drugging and intimidation of their patients, or “labels” they bestow? Who is to stand in their way? I deleted several posts on a survivor site, that I was quite proud of, and completely truthful about, but was afraid of the consequences; I’m fearful now.
I take no pride in this post, I would gladly forgo the past 30 or so years, had I found the “help” I needed, perhaps a mentor who saw my potential and took me under his wing… then have discovered more “holistic” means for my “mental health,” I would not have suffered so long and hard in a degraded and degrading “system,” that I tried so hard to work out of, unaware that the “legal” drugs I was taking were making it so difficult for me.
Nancy,
I’ve read your story and those of others, all horrifyingly and tragically very compelling. I too fell a ‘victim’ by that accursed “profession,” and at the same time, I’m still frustrated and angry that I allowed myself, or should I say in some way, sacrificed myself to it years ago; signing a form of “admission” to a state psychiatric hospital where I live. It was probably the worst and least proud decision I could have done at the time, and yet my withdrawal from my last neuroleptic, Abilify, now off 8 months, was the bravest and most difficult thing I’ve ever done. 30 years under the spell of neuroleptics, the straight jacket effects of the drugs unknown to me, until experiencing the agony and paradoxes of withdrawal. I too believed the “chemical imbalance theory” hook line and sinker. Peter Breggin’s videos were a revelation, but not until I found out that the “side effects” no one spoke of are every bit a reality; the mental and physical torment has been beyond “inexperienced” “med” withdrawers comprehension. I saw Breggin 5 times, his “Withdrawal from Psychiatric Drugs,” is the epitome of reliable and scientifically accurate information, but he was of little help to me getting off this last drug. My insomnia and then mania was raging (I didn’t even know what “mania” meant then).
I was given Seroquel as a sleep aide too, but fortunately used it but a few times years ago. My agony and “panic attacks,” last April were bad enough to call my brother on the west coast and another acquaintance which unfortunately resulted in the “Mobile Crisis Unit” coming to my house, me trusting them to their “new and improved” facility for what I thought was going to be a therapeutic experience, but instead was a hellish experience in a filthy and disgusting place among a series of sociopathic “professionals,” that reduce human beings to something less than animals (a man(?) burst from his room, blood pouring from his forehead, pounding on walls, threatening nurses; no one reacted, but instead threatened me as I tried to avoid him; I’ve never seen anything like this, he was a crazed less than horror, his face a distorted, contorted, hellish countenance. They slapped on an additional 4 serious “diagnosis'” after my 3 additional days in another state facility, though underhandedly, my outgoing diagnosis, was “anxiety disorder, unspecified,” and to seek out “Naturtyme,” a holistic supplement store where I live; those additional diagnosis miraculously appeared on my former doctor’s Internet Website notes when I got out, when in fact, they were not there before. “HE SURVIVED THE HOSPITAL” was written distinctly in one of my “health” review meetings with him… I called everyone I could think of that third day, I had filled out a court order for release, they continually tried to give me Seroquel, but I knew that drug then. Dr. Gay, though I trusted initially, “The Seroquel” doctor, (who knew).
My story on and off the “meds” would take quite of bit of space. I’m coping day to day as best I can, few friends and no family support. I’ve read again and again how human nature reveals itself when one is in such a helpless position. 3 decades of spellbindedness, a mind now free from the chemical haze and straight jacket, but a very damaged psyche and body and a Master of Science in Earth Science, personal trainer, skiing instructor career path not fulfilled, though my most rewarding position was as an adjunct professor of environmental geology at a local community college.
These scoundrels in “medicine” never cease to amaze me, there are few if any “ethically inclined” people left in this field as far as I know, two of my last “medical” doctors have quit their respective practices and one wrote to me he’s moving to Hawaii back to his family and to serve veterans now. What is it with this world we inhabit, has our species gone completely mad? Do “doctors” now have the absolute power to discredit anyone that may disagree with their insane drugging and intimidation of their patients, or “labels” they bestow? Who is to stand in their way? I deleted several posts on a survivor site, that I was quite proud of, and completely truthful about, but was afraid of the consequences; I’m fearful now.
I take no pride in this post, I would gladly forgo the past 30 or so years, had I found the “help” I needed, perhaps a mentor who saw my potential and took me under his wing… then have discovered more “holistic” means for my “mental health,” I would not have suffered so long and hard in a degraded and degrading “system,” that I tried so hard to work out of, unaware that the “legal” drugs I was taking were making it so difficult for me.
All excellent testimonials… my w/d from my last neuroleptic, Abilify has been every bit as much a horror as Peter Breggin writes about in his book, “Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal…
I was on Zyprexa for 11 years, prior to Abilify for about the same length of time, prior to that Navane, Haldol and a few weeks of Thorizine and Stellazine, along with the accompanying other SSRI’s, Benzos, and Sleep drugs…. a total of 3 decades… in my mid to late 50’s, I have no idea who I really am… a Geologist of sorts with a love of earth science and newspaper comments regarding contributions for the reduction of climate alternating fossil fuels and social advocacy, but also out of a chemical haze and “straight jacket,” an ‘experiment’ of sorts by “doctors” in the 80’s. A peer counselor who thinks I’m one sided against psychotropic drugs told me, to supposedly make me feel useful, “the experimentation on you paved the way for better mental health for people like me,” she’s in her early 30’s.
After reading this, so many things humbly come to mind, “to thy own self be true,” I truly understand that phrase now. This poetic story was enlightening for me, I’m not accustomed to reading works by creative artists, but this has uplifted me. Yet, I confess, I hope to someday break this yoke, my “chemical straightjacket,” bestowed upon me by the purveyors of these insidious drugs, so that my personal narrative can go on, and I am no longer held hostage by their effects. But in the meantime, I must submit to my circumstances.
Remarkable.
Well said and amen.
Midevil science persists and it’s time it stopped. They robbed me of a decent, loving and career oriented life. They perpetuate these lies to support themselves.
BTW, I just more or less had a pretty bad experience at ATMC in Sedona, AZ. I left after a week. A good number of their staff are ex-cons (I didn’t discover this until I went there), including I think the owner (who I’ll not name at this time). I suggest men and women who have a little bit left of their brain function to stay away (unless you like ex-cons in a cult environment) and find ways to reduce and/or eliminate their toxic poisons through their own research and resources. 40K for 8 weeks of ….
Excellent and heart wrenching reply to too very sad stories.
This is a note I emailed to my sister, like the rest of my family, very skeptical about anything other than the medical model. I live alone and continue to suffer the consequences of my association with this fundamentally evil, loathsome, and self-promoting profession:
STOP THE LIES
Hi (Blank),
You have no idea how much all of this has ruined my life and continues to ruin my life. My association with this horrible, false, and self-perpetuating profession will haunt me until I am dead, but hopefully not hooked up to a constant stream of ‘meds’, before then, which would be worse.
I’m a “talented,” intelligent, good-looking, kind, and caring gentleman, probably have been for the vast majority of my life. My hope for a “normal” life, according to them, was lost when I became a “patient.”
I wish it would just all go away, but I have to live with this and I’m going to be 56 next month. A psych label and its consequences, especially my old one, is a condemnation worse than death.
Love,
Dave