Friday, May 7, 2021

Comments by heartmom

Showing 3 of 3 comments.

  • I actually applaud what you have done, but there’s also caution. I live in the biggest charter school experiment in the nation. Virtually ALL of our schools here are charter schools. Unfortunately, that does not mean that we have a wide, diverse array of schools or an easy path to getting into the school with the right fit. Check out this report that came out this week:

    Ultimately, we have two main kinds of schools now: 1. competitive schools that are good schools with diverse student bodies but often leave different learners in the dust and 2. “no excuses” schools that insist on strict adherence to the rules. Even if you find a school that fits…competition to get in is stiff and many are disappointed.

    We are getting a new private school option this fall – unfortunately, there’s no way we could ever afford it, at least not in our current situation. The school would be well designed for kids w/ ADHD – go at your own pace, choose your own projects, etc. But the price tag leaves us and many others out. Similarly, homeschooling would only work if I could afford not to work, which I can’t.

    It was challenging when my son was first diagnosed – for all involved, my son, me, my husband, teachers, etc. But he’s at a point where he is HAPPY. He can and does excel. Is it easy? No. But meds do help. The meds gave him breathing room to learn how to work with his strengths – a space he couldn’t even see before then.

    A friend has a son with ADHD who is now an adult in his 20s. When I fretted over the diagnosis and the meds at the outset she told me she didn’t regret one single pill she gave him. He had gone from a kid who was bouncing off of walls and unable to be in any kind of classroom to one who could manage his day, manage his schoolwork, and get into the college of his choice. He is now a successful, happy adult who has been able to choose a career that works with his strengths and, therefore, alleviates the need for meds. (He takes them occasionally but not most days.)

  • Sorry, cannot agree here. Saying classrooms should be like “X” does not make them so. And being able to keep up vs not DOES actually increase self esteem. Conversely, being in a situation day after day where you feel like you are stupid for not being able to keep up, pay attention, and retain information does nothing for esteem. My son (at 13) had the choice of meds or not & 2 days into school year begged for them. Perhaps schools will change – but countless kids like mine & their parents don’t have time to wait!

  • Apologies to Hannah – can’t get to end of all the comments to lodge a new comment. Posts such as these are so frustrating. The idea that it’s just parents not accepting their children as they are is such rubbish! My son was on his way to shutting down completely in school. You simply can’t continue to fail elementary school classes & be berated by teachers for not paying attention indefinitely without losing your self esteem completely. There was no amount of acceptance I could provide to make that okay. The drugs you disparage let him focus in the classroom & experience some measure of success in school. Homeschooling is not within reach for all families & public schools really do not offer that much diversity of teaching methods – certainly not methods designed for these kids.

    If kumbaya, lets all accept one another works in your world, more power to you. The rest of us living in the real world will continue to do the best we can even when our best involves the aid of pharmaceuticals.