Thursday, June 24, 2021

Comments by susant

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  • As a parent who has lost her only child, my beloved 16 year old daughter, I definitely find that most people want me to get fixed and do it quickly. She died in a car accident on her way home from school. I asked for and received medication. I also know that had I not had that medication, I would not be typing this today. I did receive therapy. This happened two years, ten months and 23 days ago. As time went on, I was able to wean myself off the strong medication and I now take Wellbutrin. Long before my daughter died, I was suffering from major depression. My daughter had Aspergers. I don’t go many places. Don’t do much. And before, we were involved in so much. Alex was actively involved in marching band and we supported that a lot! I have been diagnosed with Complicated Grief and PTSD. Of course my grief is complicated is what I want to scream to the world. My baby is dead! I always tell people that until you lose a child, you will never know how much your life changes. I am not the same person nor do I make an effort to be. I work part time for a church. My husband and I go on vacations. But, I do not care to go out with friends. They have kids, hopes, and dreams. Our hope was in our daughter. Our dreams are shattered. Is grief complicated? Disordered? Maddening? Damn skippy. We have been painting and redecorating our house. Just yesterday, we gave our daughter’s bed to her cousin. Her room is empty now. Alex is gone. She is never coming back. We live in a different world than most people. They try but they will never fully understand. And, we pray they never get the chance to understand.