“Eight of the 20 adverse effects studied were reported by over half the participants; most frequently Sexual Difficulties (62%) and Feeling Emotionally Numb (60%). Percentages for other effects included: Feeling Not Like Myself – 52%, Agitation 47%, Reduction In Positive Feelings – 42%, Caring Less About Others – 39%, Suicidality – 39%, and Feeling Aggressive – 28%.” I was only ever given Paxil for depression and spent 15 on it and struggling to get off it, while constantly caught up in a catch 22 situation of going through withdrawal and going back on it to stop the horrendous side effects (which included a sudden presence of suicidal ideation not ever present in the original depression and therefore suicide attempts, a factor that caused a psychiatrist who knew me all of 5 minutes to mislabel me as BDP), which I now know were a direct result of pure addiction. As soon as I went on it, the first thing I noticed was the heightened levels of agitation and an inability to feel empathy or to empathise with family and friends. I went from being sensitive and caring for everyone to being completely dismissive of people’s emotions and feelings. Practically nothing bothered me, which fooled me into thinking I was OK, and also resulted in me being able to reinsert myself into society, but with a completely false sensation that I could bring on and literally eat the world. The newfound feelings of ELATION prevented me from considering stopping the drug, despite the fact I was seriously affected both sexually and emotionally. I can only say I was experiencing an abnormal feeling of well-being similar to that of the high people get on cocaine (though I can’t confirm or compare the similarity because I was never on it). I was no longer able to blush or feel embarrassed. (Brisdelle) Basic emotions and ability to respond accordingly were seriously cordoned off, if you will, as though it was a road block. I also noticed delayed orgasm was a major problem, and this was one of the main reasons I wanted to get off it. The emotional blunting had me inhumane and totally desensitized. I didn’t like that either. I missed my old self and caring about people. But, I was 19 and naïve. I didn’t see these sirens or alarm bells going off as warning signs to the possibility that the emotional and sexual deadening could worsen or become permanent. In 2009, I was struck down with 100% total emotional and sexual numbing while still on Paxil. I was no longer able to feel love for my partner or interest in him or in my own family. It is not just romantic love that is affected as is reported in many articles. It was not a case of a returned depression. Fatigue, lack of motivation, sexual dysfunction and apathy (or anhedonia) are symptoms that represent permanent SSRI side effects rather than residual depressive symptomatology. But even though sexual dysfunction is listed as a side effect of antidepressants on all patient information leaflets within every box, doctors and the pharmaceutical companies are playing down the fact that not only can they occur, but that they may even be permanent. Since 2009, I haven’t had one orgasm, been able to feel or express love for anyone, haven’t been able to laugh, smile or cry or show interest in anything. I never had a case of underlying schizophrenia or similar, and was only ever diagnosed with depression. Anyone who knew me before 2009 does not recognise the complete and utter stranger I have turned into. My lack of ability to express emotion on any level has me holed up in my apartment, away from society, family, friends and all the activities I once enjoyed, including the right to be employed. Since being on Paxil, I have basically turned into a write-off and now live like a house plant. I basically pump calories into myself and can’t even get enjoyment from something as basic as food. The fact that I am totally socially isolated and living like a recluse for the last four years has given to way to ludicrous, unjust, demoralizing, and downright insulting suspicions of a possible case of an out-of-the-blue case of schizophrenia, sociopathy, etc, etc. Now, if you mosey on over to Dr. David Healy’s website, RxISK, and read this, http://wp.rxisk.org/buried-alive-post-ssri-sexual-dysfunction-pssd/ you will see that not only is there a write-up about the existence of sexual anhedonia which goes hand in hand with emotional blunting caused by SSRIs, but you will also see there is a comments section where an average 0f 52 people have commented, with most of those comments reporting the exact same problems as what I have just mentioned here due to having been on an SSRI. In 1995, when I was forced to go on Paxil, there was no mention on the patient information leaflet that I could suffer sexual dysfunction, and there was certainly no warning it could be permanent. If I had known about these side effects back in 1995 and the possibility of addiction/withdrawal effects, I would NEVER have taken it. The truth was kept from me and I had a faulty product forced on me, taking away my right to decide if I wanted such a product to destroy my brain and body.