Thanks, Alex. Glad to know my comment was read a year after the article was written! I agree with your comment that women can carry a lot of anger, too. I think I included that comment (that anger is perhaps a bit more of an issue with men) as a ‘sop’ to the somewhat easy, mainstream thinking in the field! Let’s be frank – women can be and are just as angry as males. Your comment about witnessing emasculation of men by female therapists is, sadly, I am sure, spot on. The list of anecdotes I can recount from team discussions would be long, indeed. There was the social worker who was ready to jump to the conclusion that a man was “controlling” his wife because he had to take the family’s one car to work (rather than form the more sympathetic hypothesis that perhaps this low income family couldn’t afford another car – oh shocking – and the man needed to get to work because his income was critical for the household…..) There was another educated, female colleague who described a mother – who had defended the practice of slapping her difficult teen – as “spirited”, but then described the exact same behavior in a father as ominous. The self-same colleague later stated at a meeting that the political problems in the state were due to “too many men” being in charge…. Less egregious but still patronizing was the therapist who humorously referred to the exhausted, overwhelmed dad who would just “go to the garage” when she visited (as if needing to retreat was incomprehensible? Or perhaps retreating to work in the garage was the ‘joke’, instead of retreating to journal or garden…..) Thank you for naming it. We all carry scars from our own personal lives, no doubt. Unfortunately, women now will blindly countenance this process of acting-out our grudges, bad memories and ancient hurts on men who come to us for help. This is a sad example of what the Buddhists call “samsara”. If we fail to examine whether our own actions and impulses are meeting a basic standard of fairness and empathy for all…then we are indeed failing. Past victimization is never a justification for paying-it-forward. If we don’t begin to practice insight with ourselves, the profession can no longer express shock and dismay that people choose to go elsewhere for help.