Bippy, the love of my parents is the only reason I’m still here. As soon as they’re gone, out the door I go, so to speak. It’s been agonizing having to live this way, too. Just constantly worrying about your parents, because of course I have a survival instinct and would like to enjoy life, and do in a sense here and there — playing guitar, etc — , but I’m certain that I want nothing to do with this world without them, and so far the world has shown the same attitude toward me. This situation has been a race to the grave ever since I was a young adult, just trying to die before my parents. But not wanting to. It’s agonizing.