Comments by Michael Baker

Showing 13 of 13 comments.

  • Hi Lenora,

    You bring up a really good point in that if something goes wrong, it’s often blamed on the ‘mental illness’ being treated, not the drugs.

    If a person who’s been on antidepressants for six months tells their doctor they’ve been having suicidal or violent thoughts/fantasies, the doctor may not even consider the medication is the culprit. They might even increase the dosage or prescribe something stronger.

    That happened to me a few years in. I remember telling my family doctor about some strange ideas and moods I’d been having since starting a new antidepressant. He gave me that look. You know the one … like he wished he had a button under his desk to call in a few beefy orderlies. Anyways, he wrote me a script for Risperdal, a powerful antipsychotic(after reading ‘tics’ in the side effects I decided not to take it).

    And the longer you’re on these medications, the harder it is to determine what the hell is going on. You begin to believe that the foggy indifference is your natural personality.

    Thank you for the link to Peter Breggin’s website 🙂 It’s packed with eye opening information—some great reading.

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  • Thank you very much Uprising.

    I admit that I had to look up the definition for ‘solipsist’! That’s extremely interesting and indicative of a complete disconnection from the world around you. Chilling.

    That YouTube video is great. I think I’ve seen Peter Breggin in a psych med awareness documentary, maybe ‘Generation Rx’. He is very calm and well-spoken, certainly an awakened man.

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  • Thank you BPDTransformation,

    I forgot all about the term ‘gore porn’. That got thrown around a lot in the Ogrish chat room and forum. Actually, Ogrish once had a sister website called Goregasm. I think the idea was that if you were numb to blood and guts and found something that shocked you, it was known as having a goregasm. Creepy.

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  • Hey Dave,

    Thanks for sharing your experience, which seems eerily similar to mine. I’m glad people are coming forward and talking about their sudden unconscious urge to watch violent, gory content.

    I’m sorry to hear that your med-free state of mind is foggy and numb. 🙁 I’ve often wondered if there is any permanent damage done to the brain after being medicated for long periods. Does anyone have any thoughts on that, or links to articles related to long term effects of psych drugs?

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  • Thanks Steve!

    I actually typed Ogrish into Google while writing my story just to see if the website still existed. Unfortunately it’s still around, along with several other websites that profit from evil. I quickly shut down the screen when the Google images showed bloody corpses 🙁

    It would be well worth posting it there if it woke a few people up, but I’m not sure the website’s owner would endorse a message that might diminish traffic.

    I would love to see these types of websites banned.

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  • Hi Rachel,

    Wow … 24 years of constant drugging? That is unbelievable. I thought 10 years was a long time!

    I think you’re in store for a real awakening once you come off the drugs. It’s like learning to be human again. Thoughts come in much clearer—more in the foreground of the mind. Emotions are strong and convincing. Intuition and extrasensory perceptions return after long hiatus.

    Just remember, you are not the thoughts in your head, but the awareness of them.

    I wish you the best.

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  • Hi Someone Else,

    I’m glad you brought up the fact that your creative vision went down a few notches. I can totally relate. I couldn’t really use my imagination while medicated, at least not to the fullest. It was like the canvas in my mind had been covered in a thick pane of opaque glass.

    That in itself can be depressing, especially for creative/artistic people.

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  • Hey Alex,

    I really appreciate your kind words, and I just love your insight into emotions. I’m also thrilled that you checked out The Mind Well! I will respond to your message on there as soon as I get the chance 🙂

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  • Hi Kim,

    You have a great deal of insight into all of this. I agree with everything you wrote.

    “It is in the killing off of feelings that true, catastrophic danger lies, as without feelings we cannot be human. Ethics, morals, relating to others, making good judgments, are all based on the ability to feel and be connected to emotion. Psychiatric medications can wipe that out completely.

    I know when I was on antidepressants and/or antipsychotics I felt for the first time in my life I would have been capable of truly doing harm to others. I have been off them for almost 6 years and in that time I have never had such worries.”

    Very well said.

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

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  • Hi Howard,

    I’m so glad you brought this up, thank you! I was actually inspired to share my story after reading this article:

    It is downright scary how many school shooters were taking or had recently stopped taking antidepressants/antipsychotics. It’s easy to dismiss the medication and focus on the condition being treated. “Well, he suffered from mental illness, so he must have just snapped.” Hard to fault that opinion, because who would ever assume that a mental health product could play any role in mass murder?

    These drugs are much more powerful than the general public realizes. For some users they are mental anesthetic, and may cause states of depersonalization where action and awareness do not coexist. Couple this hazy sleepwalk with an inability to feel empathy, remorse, or fear and things could get very dangerous.

    I am truly fortunate that my search for emotion never went any further than watching violence. But I can’t help but wonder if anyone else is taking it to the next step. Has that teenager on Paxil—totally numb and desperate to feel something—gone from watching beheadings online to stomping on neighborhood cats? If so, what comes after that?

    It really is something to think about.

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  • Great story. Thank you for sharing that.

    I absolutely love and can relate to your ‘leaving the house’ analogy. It perfectly describes an expansion of consciousness, where familiar mind structures are transcended forever.

    Best wishes.

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