Thank you Steven Morgan. Your story is beautifully written, eloquent and helpful. I hope many more people read it than already have. I do not want to invalidate your experience with exclusion from the Grof workshop, nor to try and “fix it” but feel like saying, I did some breathwork workshops, not with Grof but some of his trained acolytes, and afterwards concluded that the claims they made for being able to speed up the process of healing were probably manipulative and untrue, and thus outrageous. I also found the process harsh, annoying and even exploitative for reasons I won’t elaborate on here. At the time, Grof and his wife were being touted as the latest cutting-edge gurus of humanistic psych, and I lived in San Francisco Bay Area at a time (the 1890’s-90’s) when it seemed socially “normal” among some folks to sample every latest psycho-spiritual pseudo-scientific workshop that sold itself with the same techniques as any product in a TV ad that claims it can fulfill our dreams or provide a quick fix some problem we don’t even really have. Anyway, the Grof thing may well have helped some other people, but for me, it seemed like one more slightly traumatizing encounter with yet another snake-oil salesman. The only thing I’ve personally found that really works for me is “focusing” — a method of reading signals from the physical body that University of Chicago psychologist Eugene Gendlin described in the 1970’s. I read a five dollar paperback about it and was able to apply the method right away and engage a years-long process of slowly, gently, gradually changing my brain to a more balanced and healthy state than I used to have. There’s lots of free info about it on the internet at http://www.focusing.org if you’re curious. However, it seems to me you’ve found a path of integrity and purpose that certainly needs no unsolicited advice from others… thanks again for your extraordinarily clear and encouraging story.