Most doctors prescribe benzodiazapines as a last resort, when patients repeatedly come to the office hysterical, crying about how they can’t sleep, can’t cope, “please doc can’t you give me something”. You leave a lot out of your history. Unless you were involuntarily committed to an impatient facility or ordered to do so by a court, no one is forced to take benzodiazapines. You also fail to mention any type of ongoing therapy for your problems. Normal alcohol use and normal doses of benzodiazapines are not a problem except in people with addiction. Your judgement was so impaired that you apparently did not realize or ignored the fact that combining alcohol and benzodiazapines was a problem, at least for you. I am curious how you got the information that valium is the “weakest” and easiest to taper of all the benzodiazapines. I don’t even think it is the oldest, but hardly see how order of discovery is relevant. Unhappily, psychiatric diagnosis is not always easy or clear cut. Having a correct diagnosis, may give guidance to what medications may be effective, or what direction psychotherapy should take, but since symptoms overlap widely and treatment overlap widely, the exact name to give your symptoms is not always critical. Your narrative is so full of holes, misinformation, and general nonsense that I do not see how anyone could take you seriously. You state that you have little hope of recovery. Since you have had serious psychiatric symptoms for the last twenty years it is unlikely that you will stop having serious psychiatric symptoms. As far a treatment, you seem to be your own worst enemy.