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So like you I grew up in a really awful home enviorment filled with emotional and psycial abuse. along with that I started out in psycology at the young age of four being dignosed with adhd and all through my childhood there were doctors and therapists. I was first hospitalize in a mental ward at 7. I am like you where as I have never really face that past or been angry or cried over it. What I want so desperately now is to figure out how to kill my past to live more successfully in my present. But the abuse I have suffered at the hands of psychology makes me incredibly gun shy of mainstream mental health because of saying the wrong thing and loosing my rights. But I want is my chance to get my freedom from the pain and hurt that is inside of me.
see it took me until I was over 40 to even realize that the outburst of anger I deal with are probably trauma. but that does not come from doctors but from having to figure it all out on my own because every time I would approach mainstream psychology with my beast right there beside me they would meet the monster and then kick me out. So I was left to figure out what the true nature of my monster on my own and why I was plagued with this horrible uncontrollable anger. Now I give anything to kill the beast inside of me. I would give anything to find friends a new family and find a life where I am ok. Free from
the ideas that I different and broken.
But see that new world is already started by finding a place like this and learning new ways to look at myself instead of through the cold lens of permeant brokenness as psychology has taught me. It is helping me to live again. Also, it is nice to find a world that confirms what I have often thought about psychology for years, and finding sites like this was like somebody giving me permission I didn’t think I had to question the way the current system does things. Because I think still somewhere in my head I had a voice leftover from my past saying I really don’t know what I am talking about because I am not a professional. But I know now that is not true. I starting to learn so much and your article here really is very close to the broken home I grew up in and the way psychology was handled with me.
Also if anyone who reads this can share resources to alternatives for mainstream psychology and places where I can start to share my ideas and join the fight against the beast that is the current mental health system because all I want to do with my life is advocate and fight for real change. It feels like what I was put here to do.