I sometimes feel suicidal because ever since I was a wee little thing I was made to feel useless and unwanted. Society has done nothing to abate those feelings. There is too much competition. It is just a fear of God that has kept me going. These days there are a number of suicidal people on a certain superhero cult group which, I feel, indicates that the ego is somewhat involved. These people make extraordinary efforts to make themselves present and useful in society but find that society is too cold, hateful, and more than ready to see them die. Like you said, you cannot mask the truth. But, like Lao Tsu said, ““If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” We need to strike a balance between feeling needed/useful in the present and helping others around us. Everybody needs help so the demand is there.