Dos and Don’ts for Family Members and Carers of People in Withdrawal

Republished here with permission from Baylissa Frederick at Recovery Road.    This piece is written specifically for family members and carers of people in withdrawal from psychiatric drugs.

Dos and Don’ts for Family Members and Carers

If you are supporting someone experiencing withdrawal syndrome due to benzodiazepine or antidepressant use, you may find that the usual approaches are not effective. Withdrawal can cause bizarre behavior and uncommon physical and psychological reactions in users. This can be overwhelming and so you may be feeling unsure about how to proceed.

The most important thing you can do is be there, be available, and almost constantly give encouragement. Be gentle. Comfort him or her in verbal and nonverbal ways – a warm non-caffeine drink, holding a hand or a gentle touch of reassurance is good if appropriate. You can let your loved one know it is okay to cry, be angry, or be silent – whatever is needed at the time.

We ask you to withhold judgement and to try to be as patient as possible. A problematic withdrawal can take everyone involved into what may seem to be a whirlwind of drama: uncharacteristic behaviour, financial difficulties, relationship friction and more – beyond the realms of reason. But all of this is temporary, only happening because of your loved one’s withdrawal-induced symptoms, and will go with recovery. We see this all the time.

For those who visit, it is a good idea to say how much time you are able to spend: “We can talk for an hour or so, but then I need to go to the supermarket, then pick up the children from school.”  This will allow time for your friend or relative to relax, knowing that you are available for that time and that they won’t be a ‘burden’ to you (which is sometimes an issue of concern).


  • Learn as much as you can about withdrawal
  • Be there for them
  • Reassure them that withdrawal is temporary and they will recover, as often as is required (which can be almost constantly)
  • Listen without judgement
  • Respect their decision if they prefer not to discuss withdrawal
  • Offer support in practical ways too (shopping, mowing the lawn, babysitting, etc.)
  • Encourage them to be gentle with themselves – they will need time
  • Encourage others to be patient.


Do Not:

  • Suggest that they ‘snap out of it’ or ‘pull themselves together’
  • Suggest that something other than withdrawal is taking place
  • Pressure them to do what you think they need to do, like reinstating their medication, increasing activities, going back to work, etc. – even if you think what you are suggesting is best
  • Tell them to stop crying, being angry or feeling whatever they are feeling
  • Force them to cheer up
  • Tell them other people are worse off
  • Ignore their distress or pretend that withdrawal is not happening
  • Ask them lots of questions about other possible medical conditions or try to diagnose: (Do you think maybe you have severe depression instead, or chronic fatigue syndrome, or lupus?)

By giving adequate and appropriate support you are making a valuable positive difference to your loved one’s withdrawal experience. Your contribution can be one of the most important factors in determining how well she or he copes. Thank you.